TITLE: Riley The Bug
AUTHOR: Goddess Isa
EMAIL: goddessisa@aol.com
SUMMARY: Buffy can't get the message across the that Fish Boy moron no matter what she does
SPOILER: I'll say A New Man but I don't really think that's accurate. Doomed is more so I guess
DISTRIBUTION: Sandee, of course - My site - http://planetslaythis.homestead.com - Crystal and Butterfly if they want it - A Soul's Redemption - Anyone else - sure, just email me & lmk where it's going - I like seeing my name in print =)
RATING: TV-PG
DISCLAIMER: Joss may suck, but he does own these characters and except for Riley and Jheira, he's yet to create a character I despise one hundred percent of the time. The song belongs to Destiny's Child. I love them. Say my name, say my name...
DEDICATION: To Slayer Mary for sending the lyrics, and to Destiny's Child for havin' such cool music. They rule. =)



"Hey guys," Buffy rushed into the Bronze and sat on a low seat in the corner, her friends surrounding her. "Sorry I'm late, I was sort of trying to get away from something."

"A demon?" Giles asked, curious.

"Yes. No! I mean, it wasn't--it's Riley."

"What about him?" Willow asked.

"Actually--"

"Good evening, Sunnydale!" Spike's Monday night replacement yelled through the microphone. The vampire didn't want to work every night, but when he saw the soddin' excuses they used on the weeknights, he considered takin' the job full time.

"I know you're all gearin' up to hear me play some slammin' tunes."

"I'm not," Spike remarked.

"But you won't get them outta me." the DJ continued.

"Hallelujah." Spike remarked.

"Tonight is Kareoke night!" the DJ yelled. "Time to get out here and show that special someone how you feel or just make a fool out of yourself."

"I wanna try." Xander got up and Anya followed him.

"Like I was saying," Buffy said now that it was quieter in the room. "I was trying to get away from--"

"Hey guys," Fish Boy joined them and sat next to Buffy, squeezing her in. "What are we doing?"

"Riley." Buffy stated, the name having double meaning. Willow caught the look on her face and shrugged before giving her a sympathetic look.

"Uh, sir?" Riley stood up to Giles and offered him his hand. "I just want to clear up any issues that there may be between us."

"Ahh, I can't take it." Buffy grabbed Willow's wrist and started leading her away.

"Where are you going?" Riley asked her.

"Bathroom," Willow mumbled since it was obvious Buffy wasn't going to answer him.

"It's terrible," she said once they were on the opposite side of the club. "I can't shake him. He's like a leech, he's just always there."

"I have an idea," Willow threw a glance to Xander and Anya trying to sing 'One Sweet Day' and failing miserably.

"No way." Buffy said.

"Just wait," Willow leaned over and whispered something in her ear. "Now you wanna do it?" she grinned.

"Just make sure Riley pays attention." Buffy headed for the stage and after some flirting with the DJ and a scowl from Anya, she was all set to "perform". She selected her song and made her way to the center of the stage. The line of people waiting for a turn glared at her and some snorted.

"Um, this is for my.....for Riley." Buffy said. From the stage, she could see him beaming. It made her want to gag.


//You make me wanna throw my pager out the window

Tell MCI to cut the phone cord

Break my lease so I can move

Cause you a bug a boo, a bug a boo

I wanna put your number on the call block

Have AOL make my emails stop

Cause you a bug a boo

You buggin' what? you buggin' who?

You buggin' me! And don't you see it ain't cool


It's not hot that you be calling me

Stressin' me paging my beeper you're just

Nonstop

And it's not hot

That you be leaving me messages every 10 minutes

And then you stop by

When I first met you, you were cool

But it was game you had me fooled

Cause 20 minutes after I gave you my number 

You already had my mailbox full


So what you bought a pair of shoes

What now I guess you think I owe you

You don't have to call as much as you do

I'll give 'em back to be through with you


And so what my momma likes you

What now I guess you think I will too

Even if the Pope said he likes you too

I don't really care cause you're a

Bug a boo


It's not hot that when in blocking your phone number

You call me from over your best friends house

And it's not hot that I can't even go out with my girlfriends

Without you tracking me down

You need to chill out with that mess

Cause you can't keep having me stressed

Cause every time my phone rings it seems to be you

And I'm praying that it is someone else


When you call me on the phone you're bugging me

When you follow me around you're bugging me

Everything you do be bugging me

You bugging me, you bugging me

When you show up at my door you bugging me

When you open up your mouth you bugging me

Every time I see your face you're bugging me

You're bugging me you're bugging me


You make me wanna throw my pager out the window

Tell MCI to cut the phone cord

Break my lease so I can move

Cause you a bug a boo, a bug a boo

I wanna put your number on the call block

Have AOL make my emails stop

Cause you a bug a boo

You buggin' what? you buggin' who?

You buggin' me!!

And don't you see it ain't cool\\


Buffy took a bow and walked off the stage. When she got back to the gang, Riley was gone. 

"It worked!" she said happily.

"Not really, I'm afraid." Giles said.

"Why?" Buffy did her signature pout.

"He's outside getting the truck ready." Willow said. "He thinks you were singing to Xander."