A/N - Sorry if it's short...it's my first fanfic! If you want me to continue, tell me and I will. If not, I'll leave it as a one-shot. I don't know how many more Dustin Lovers are out there - so if you are let me know that i'm not alone!
Every girl has their first crush.
Most of the time, it's that dream boy – the Brad Pitt, Nick Jonas, and Justin Biebers of the world. But me, I had my own – Dustin Pedroia.
This spunky little second basemen was my Brad Pitt – what with his chocolate brown eyes, scruffy face, and 5'8" stature, he was every girl's dream.
Or at least mine.
The day I found out he was married, I cried. Kelli Pedroia may be the kindest Red Sox wife in its history, but I still hated her.
But it was okay. They didn't have a kid yet. No marriage is final until they have a kid…
And so I devised a plan to plague them into a divorce. First of all, I would cut off his balls. This way I could be positive no kid could result from the marriage unless they adopted one. But that takes months to finalize, and I am fast worker.
At first, Kelli would be p-oed about the whole thing, but once Dustin explains in his warm, lullaby voice that he wasn't, indeed, cheating, she would forgive him and join forces in finding justice for this ball slayer. Their first move – the police.
Lucky for me, my Daddy is the Chief over there at the Boston station, and since I'm an "aspiring officer" and "very responsible", he sometimes lets me answer the calls and direct them to the right department. (Note to self: make Daddy coffee that day. I think I have some sedatives upstairs I could use…)
So I would answer, and tell them they were crazy, and that maybe they should see a marriage councilor.
Lucky for me, my Mommy's a marriage councilor.
And since I'm an "intrigued minor" and "very responsible", she sometimes lets me book appointments for people. (Note to self: get more sedatives…)
From there, I can just book an appointment with Dr. Lucy (aka moi) and convince those "love birds" that a divorce is the best way to go.
Getting Dustin to love me, well that's the hard part.
But I'm guessing a couple sedatives can do the trick.