Title: Into The Fire
Author: miss_peg
Rating: T
Summary: It's been two years since Van Pelt shot Craig O'Laughlin and nothing much has changed, after a difficult start to a new case she finds herself questioning everything until her life unravels and she's forced to make some difficult decisions.
Notes: I've not been writing very well/easily for a while not but I'm slowly getting back into it. I'm sure this one will have its flaws, but it's a stepping stone that I need to use before I can get back to a better place. Written for the 50 Titles challenge on Paint It Red, if you're up for a challenge, then you should check it out (don't be put off by the 50, there are smaller challenges available)!

The body lay at the bottom of a ravine twenty minutes off the road. Van Pelt sat in the back of the Park Ranger's off-road buggy as they travelled along a trail barely wide enough for a bicycle let alone any emergency vehicles. The last thing she wanted to do on an average Monday morning was travel to the middle of nowhere with little more than a cell phone without signal and a bottle of water. The sun was already high in the sky making the day insufferable.

Lisbon sat up front with Ranger Sue, talking about the case and though Van Pelt knew she should have listened to every fine detail from the back, her mind was drifting off to the last time she'd been so far away from civilisation. She'd been delirious after suffering a car wreck and had sole responsibility over a suspect which made the situation difficult. What made it even harder was the fact her mind decided to hallucinate her deceased fiancé. It had been nearly two years since she'd shot him dead, a fact that she struggled to forget. He'd been the one man she put her trust in, accepting his proposal without much need for thought, and the idea of spending the rest of her life with him had given her a reason to get up each morning beyond her job. Two years did little to stem the pain of how that relationship ended.

She let out a long, heavy sigh which caught Lisbon's attention. If she hadn't been in the middle of listening to Sue explain about illegal hunters in the forest, Van Pelt suspected that she would have been reprimanded for her disinterest. She still would be once they returned to the CBI and Lisbon had more time to deal with her. The very thought made Van Pelt's stomach churn, or maybe it was the speed at which they were travelling along unsteady ground. Travelling backwards had never suited Van Pelt, the rare train journeys that resulted in a backward seat always left her a little queasy.

The job mattered more to Van Pelt than she sometimes cared to admit, in her first few weeks she'd tried too hard which resulted in ridicule and mistakes. She'd dreamt for a long time of becoming a cop, the fact she'd made it and managed to progress into a more specialised field was something she was incredibly proud of. Even if neither of her parents understood where she got the desire to catch criminals from; her dad had never owned a gun and her sister was a chef, an occupation a far cry from her own.

'Here,' said Sue, pulling the buggy to a very abrupt stop which sent Van Pelt hurtling across the seat. She reached an arm out to steady herself.

Jumping out of the buggy, Van Pelt stumbled forwards, her legs a little wobbly from the ride. When she found her land legs again, Van Pelt followed Lisbon across the terrain towards the bottom of a rock face. There were no ropes which meant the victim hadn't been climbing, the only pieces of equipment she could see was a satchel filled with water, a bag of trail mix covered in ants and a map. Experience of camping as a child told her that the victim was a novice.

'We found a campsite a couple of miles west, she seemed to be following the trail along the river but somehow went off course. We found no identification, she paid by cash and there's no record of a booking ahead of her arrival.'

'So we've got a Jane Doe and no chance of finding the killer?' asked Van Pelt, turning away from the crime scene and looking out across the woodland. Some cases felt like a complete waste of time. The woman probably got lost and slipped on a rock. They should have been out there trying to catch murderers, not careless tourists.

'My colleague heard gunshots a couple hours ago, he thought they were coming from down by the lake but it's hard to tell in these parts. He found a handful of gun casing up top.'

'I'm going to need to see those,' said Lisbon, taking notes.

Van Pelt glanced up at the ridge as Lisbon took a walk around the body. She finally turned her attention back to her superior; it was only when her eyes followed Lisbon's across to a number of bullet wounds that the case became more interesting. She crouched down beside the body and analysed the pattern of the wounds, an almost perfect circle around her heart and one much larger in the centre.

'She has a head injury,' said Van Pelt, slipping on a glove as she moved towards the head. She traced a gloved finger across an area of dried red sand, a couple of shades darker than the natural clay dirt. 'My guess is they knocked her unconscious and then shot her. The largest wound was probably at close range.'

When Van Pelt stood up she found Lisbon watching her with a smile on her face, a sign that she'd done good. Being the rookie had always been difficult for her, never having enough responsibility no matter how much she felt she deserved. Being allowed out into the field had grown more frequent until Craig's death had hit her hard. She didn't want to think anymore of him, but couldn't help it. If it wasn't for him her career would be progressing nicely. First the FBI accused her of knowing about her future husband's allegiances with Red John to the point of threatening to lay charges against her for his death, then the intense feelings she held over his betrayal almost consumed her. Her anger issues very nearly caused her to destroy her career; instead she took a few tentative steps backwards. Two years later and Lisbon only just trusted her to do her job without the watchful eye of one of her colleagues, especially since anger had become more prevalent in her normalcy.

Another buggy pulled up with a trailer on the back; Sue's colleague, Rigsby and the medical examiner jumped out. Van Pelt held up a hand in greeting as Rigsby listened to Lisbon's instructions.

'I want you and Van Pelt to take the trail back to the campsite, I got Sue to set you up with the right equipment so that you won't get lost. We're looking for any clues on what happened along the trail. There's illegal hunters out there, someone was firing earlier, so keep on your guard. Luka's going to take you to the nearest access route; I'm going with Sue to the top of the ridge to see what we can find there.'

Rigsby nodded and took the day pack from the other ranger; Van Pelt joined him on the back of the buggy as they travelled along through the park. They retraced their steps until they reached a crossroads where they veered off in the opposite direction.

'You look as bad as I feel,' said Rigsby, with a hand on his stomach. Van Pelt smiled weakly.

Once the ranger had dropped them off and sent them in the right direction they were alone. Van Pelt walked along slowly, taking in the surroundings. Maybe it wasn't so bad being out in the park, regardless of the strength of the sun as it moved higher in the sky; Van Pelt had never visited the park before and was enjoying the tranquillity. Rigsby remained equally silent for a while.

'Guess this is better than being cooped up in the office all day,' he said.

'Got the map?' she asked.

He handed her the folded route plan, Van Pelt traced her finger along the dirt track they'd been following. It seemed pretty simple but longer than she would have hoped. She sipped on her water to conserve what little supplies they'd taken with them, emergency radio or no, the thought of being stranded in the forest made her a little uneasy. She folded the map back up and handed it to Rigsby.

'Thank you,' he said, though he sounded more sarcastic than appreciative. Van Pelt rolled her eyes and marched onwards.

They very rarely got to spend time together anymore, something which Van Pelt was relatively comfortable with. He had a lot more going on in life, his son needed all of his attention and their job was hardly low pressure. Still, the number of years they'd known each other, she sometimes felt like they were bordering on strangers now. She'd met little Ben a couple of times but only in passing and Rigsby very rarely invited her out for drinks, despite the fact he frequently visited a local bar with Cho.

'We need to take a left up here,' she said, pushing on along the left pathway.

'Wait,' said Rigsby, kneeling down at the fork and analysing the track. Van Pelt turned around with a sigh. Rigsby ignored her obvious frustration and pointed at the ground. 'There's track marks, I think someone's been through here on a motorcycle or dirt bike.'

Van Pelt shrugged. 'Probably kids, come on.'

'No, this is important.'

Van Pelt rested a hand on her hip as Rigsby refused her request, she stared at him in the hope she could get him to change his mind by annoying him. He never liked it when she looked at him; at least he didn't when it was for professional reasons. She gritted her teeth until Rigsby ignored her and snapped a couple of photographs with his phone. Van Pelt tapped her foot impatiently, she knew she was acting petulant but the sun was tiring her quickly and she didn't want to be out there all day photographing every little sign of life.

'Would you just relax,' said Rigsby, setting off down the path. Van Pelt sighed, remaining silent as Rigsby did the same.

Twenty minutes down the path and Van Pelt froze, her hand rising to Rigsby's arm in warning. A droning in the distance grew louder until the sound of tires, rustling along the ground, was getting closer close. They stood frozen to the spot, not saying a word.

'Get down,' shouted Van Pelt, pushing Rigsby between two trees as the person rode the dirt bike directly at them. They tumbled onto the floor.

'Now do you see why I wanted to stop?' said Rigsby as he climbed to his feet and dusted off his trousers.

His tone was playful but Van Pelt was feeling anything but in the mood for a joke. She could feel him on her tail as she marched off down the path in the opposite direction of the bike.

'Where are you going?'

'Where do you think?'

'We should be going after that guy,' said Rigsby, stepping in front of her.

Van Pelt stopped abruptly and stared up at him. 'We're here to find out as much as we can about what happened to the victim, not catch a lowlife on a dirt bike.'

'What if it's the killer?'

Before they could settle their disagreement, a shot fired in the distance. Rigsby and Van Pelt simultaneously pulled out their weapons and turned to face the direction the bike had gone in. Rigsby ran forwards with his gun out in front, Van Pelt sighed and followed, despite her apprehensions. Within moments the bike was hurtling towards them at full speed, the person on the back firing a gun in their direction.

'Grace,' Rigsby shouted turning on his tail. He reached for her hand and ran along the path.

Van Pelt followed him off the dirt track, their hands separating as they used their whole bodies to pick up speed through the dense woodland. They ran as fast as they could as the bike continued to follow, gun shots sounding around them. Adrenaline and fear pushed Van Pelt onwards as her heart beat loudly in her ears, she ducked under a branch, jumped over a rock and nearly skidded on a patch of undergrowth before she heard Rigsby go down beside her.

'Wayne,' she shouted, feeling considerably guilty for her ill-treatment as she ducked onto the ground, flattening herself against the floor. She dragged herself across the ground towards the day pack and pulled out the radio. 'Requesting urgent back up, we took a left off the track just before the fork, there's a gunman following us.'

A loud gunshot rang in her ears. Van Pelt rested her hands over her head, her breath slowing but not quickly enough. She lifted her head to find Rigsby's arms upright, his gun in his hands as the rider and their bike skidded across the ground. Van Pelt jumped to her feet, her gun up as she moved closer to the rider.

'Hands behind your head, roll on to your front,' she shouted, holding their hands together as she knelt on their lower back. 'You okay Rigsby?'

'Just,' he muttered, his hand resting against a wound on his right arm.

'It's okay, help will be here soon,' she assured him.

Luka's buggy pulled up on the trail as Van Pelt pushed the suspect towards it; she sat him down in the back seat and secured his wrists with her handcuffs.

'Gonna need your help,' she said. 'A bullet grazed Rigsby's arm, he's okay but he needs medical attention.'

Luka radioed ahead instructions for an ambulance. Van Pelt jogged back through the woodland towards where Rigsby sat against a tree. She knelt down beside him, adjusting the blood stained sleeve of his shirt as she waited for Luka to join her.

'You're going to be fine,' she assured him, though her voice wavered. 'I'm sorry.'

'It's okay,' he said, smiling back at her as she and Luka lifted him to his feet.

x

Back at the office, Van Pelt sat at her desk, her fingers tapping against her mouse mat as she stared at her phone. Rigsby promised to call as soon as he was done with the doctors. Lisbon had requested that they all return to the office and focus on any paper trails to avoid any further injury.

'It's not your fault.'

Van Pelt turned to find Jane staring at her from his couch, she tried to smile her appreciation but his words fell on deaf ears. No amount of assurance was going to change the fact that she'd acted like a petulant child and nearly got her best friend killed. Whether they saw each other outside of work or not, he was still important to her and treating him otherwise didn't help.

'I know,' she said.

'Liar.'

She shrugged. 'Does it matter?'

'It does when you doubt everything you've ever known.'

'No I don't.'

'Meh.'

Jane lifted his shoulders and rolled onto his back. He stared up at the ceiling before closing his eyes. Van Pelt didn't want to consider the things that she felt, she wasn't ready. A lot had happened in the last few years and no amount of pretending was going to change that. She tapped her fingers against the mouse mat again until Lisbon came out of her office with a smile on her face.

'Good news, Rigsby's going to be fine. He's taking a couple of days off but the bullet barely grazed him.'

Relief settled Van Pelt's fluttery stomach. All she'd been able to think about was whether Rigsby was okay, now that she knew of his safety; a flood of thoughts filled her mind.

'I have to go,' she whispered, to which Jane barely cracked open his eyes.

Van Pelt followed Lisbon to her office and knocked, standing in the open doorway a little lost.

'Yeah?'

'I'd like to make a request for some time off.'

Lisbon raised an eyebrow. 'Now isn't really a good time, Grace. I can't be two agents down.'

'I'll wait until Wayne's back,' she said, sitting down on Lisbon's couch. She stared at her fingers nervously.

'What's going on?' said Lisbon. 'You're not going on vacation, I presume.'

'No.'

'There's something wrong.'

Van Pelt nodded her head and lifted her gaze back up to Lisbon. She opted not to speak until Lisbon looked ready to fill in the silence.

'I've been thinking about it for a while now,' she said.

'You have accrued a lot of leave,' said Lisbon.

'Not about that.'

'Oh?'

'In a couple of weeks it'll be two years since Craig died.'

Lisbon laced her hands together across her stomach and showed signs of listening intently. Van Pelt appreciated the offering but there wasn't much she could do. Regardless, she leant forwards.

'I'd like to take some extended leave.'

Lisbon glanced at her computer for a moment, clicking her mouse before turning her attention back to Van Pelt. 'You have twenty days saved up.'

'Can I request some more?'

'Like a sabbatical?' asked Lisbon, raising an eyebrow in concern.

'I was thinking about a couple of months.'

'Is there anything I can do to help?'

'No,' she smiled weakly. 'I just need, some time.'

'I'll see what I can sort out. It may have to be unpaid past your accrued leave.'

'That's fine.'

'It'll take a couple of days, I should know by the time Rigsby comes back.'

Van Pelt stood up, her fingers shaking until she pressed them tightly against her pants. She didn't quite know what to do now; she had work to do, except that her mind was anywhere other than on the job.

'Thank you.'

She walked out of the office and wandered into the kitchenette, searching for a clean mug in order to make herself a coffee. Maybe she'd just sit in there for a while and think, it couldn't do any harm.