It's all gone wrong. Horribly horribly wrong. He's killing them now… torturing them to death. It's all a game to them. They all sit there hidden under their hoods and laugh as the poor fool screams and begs for mercy. And of course he doesn't grant it. Dear God… why did I trust him? I thought he had the right idea. We all did. Stupid muggles and mudbloods. They don't deserve the same rights as us pure-bloods. And mudbloods in the same school as us? Disgraceful.
I've lived on that. I grew up hearing that rhetoric. And my family was proud of me when I joined him. Oh, they wouldn't say it right out, of course not. We were a rebellious lot, really. In the beginning we had to meet in secret and whisper our discontent in the darkness. But we grew more powerful and now it's starting to show. He's killing them. He's killing the muggles. What's next? The mudbloods? True, I never did like them, but this is a little extreme. I fear this will go to far. No, it already has.
I can't do this. My wand cannot be the one to kill the next poor soul. Hah… how quickly they've gone to being poor souls as opposed to filthy mudbloods. Does death do that to you? Has it really rearranged my ideals so much? My family would be disappointed I imagine. Well, they weren't there. They didn't see the girl writhing in pain from his curse… they didn't hear him speak the words that snuffed out her life in a burst of green light. I felt sick. Yes, I could not stomach it. Maybe I'm weak. Maybe I'm just a pathetic fool. But I couldn't stomach it.
My brother would probably scorn me for it. It seems nothing about our family pleases him. I see the way he watches me, out of the corner of his eye. He hated me then and I have no doubt he will hate me now. I'm a murderous bastard for joining them and now I'm a pathetic coward for wanting out. Him and his own idealistic views. Associating with mudbloods and worse… pah. It seems every member of my own family has abandoned me. Most noble house indeed.
I guess there's no choice now. These very words I write are treachery to our cause. But I cannot stand this… come what may, I will not stay another night. I will tell him tomorrow. Perhaps not him, but an underling? No. I will confront him myself. I have been a coward all my life running from one cause to the next. It is about time I took a stand. It is one thing to wish them out of our world, it is another thing altogether to kill them. I will do this no more. And perhaps someone else will join me, and we will end this madness.