When it came to his biological father Henry had two schools of thought. He described them as BEFORE and AFTER.
The BEFORE is filled with the happy memories he has with his dad. Of sharing pizza and seeing museums in New York. Of talking about sports and practicing sword fighting at the docks. He remembers how devastated his dad had looked when he had found out
that he had missed out on the first 11 years of Henry's life, and how relieved he been when they finally rescued Henry from Pan. Henry remembered being excited over the idea that his mom was jealous of his dad's fiancé because all Henry wanted was
to have his parents be together, positive that what they shared was true love and wanting nothing more than the normalcy of having his real mother and father together would bring. He remembers how his dad had hugged him goodbye so fiercely at the
town line, telling him how much he loved him and how he had promised to see him again. Henry remembers how he blamed his mom Emma for him not having a dad. She had never told his father about Henry and she had told Henry that his dad had died. He
remembers how much Henry had held that against her. BEFORE Henry believed that his dad could do no wrong, he looked up to him and instantly believed that the man was a true hero because how could he not be?
Then came the AFTER.
After he and his mother had left town and forgotten everyone and everything they had known. During that cursed year his mom had finally told Henry the reason why his dad wasn't around, claiming that he was finally old enough to know. When Henry learned
about what Neal did (he refused to think of him as his dad) he was heartbroken. His mom had always been slightly sad and closed off for as long as he could remember and now he finally understood why. He didn't know much about love but he knew enough
from books and tv that his mom had really loved Neal and that Neal had totally broken her heart and almost destroyed her life. Henry hated the man. He had always hoped that one day his dad would magically show up on his doorstep wanting to be in his
life but not anymore. Henry didn't need Neal, his mom was better than anything he could have wished for.
Suddenly Henry's moms engagement had fallen apart and they are in this weird town called Storybrooke for a her to work a case. He's confused about how odd everyone is acting as well as the weird guy dressed as a pirate that hasn't left his mother's side
in weeks, but he can see how stressed his mom is so he doesn't ask. One day she tells him that the reason that they were there was because his father had been in trouble and she had tried to help him but that he had died before she could. She told
him that he had been a good man and that he would have loved him. Henry doesn't understand. He feels slightly upset that some bad people got away with killing someone, because that's just the loving and compassionate kid he is, but at the same time
he's not exactly upset that the man who abandoned him and his mom is gone.
Everyone is very sympathetic to Henry over the next couple days, telling him what a good man and a hero his father was but Henry doesn't feel loss for the father he's never met. From what his mother had told him about Neal he wasn't a good guy and he
certainly wasn't a hero. They all claim that he had died nobly but no one seems to have anymore insight into the mans life than that, making Henry believe that many of these people didn't even really know Neal. Neal had abandoned him and his mom without
looking back and it doesn't really matter to Henry if he had died nobly or not. They're all obviously all just making stuff up to try and make him feel better.
The next thing Henry knows the pirate guy who obviously has a crush on his mom (KILLIAN, he said his name was Killian) is taking Henry out and telling him stories about Neal as a kid like the man had raised him. Now Henry is even more confused but the
way that the guy is talking about Neal at least doesn't sound made up. He can see the hurt and anguish in the mans eyes over Neal's death and Henry realizes that Neal maybe hadn't been the worst person when he was a kid, he had just grown up to be
a jerk. At the very least Killian is kinda a cool guy to hang out with (despite the weird clothes and the way he looks at Henry's mom) so Henry doesn't say anything.
Then Henry's memories come back. After the defeat of the Wicked Witch the first thing his mom does is take him to his dad, Neals, grave. Henry feels like he's being split in two. On the one side he misses his dad and wants nothing more than to sit and
share a slice of pizza with him while they talk about sports. But on the other he practically wants to spit on the grave of Neal Cassidy for abandoning him and his mom (the feelings of hatred have only now intensified sense he got his memories back.
Neal abandoning Emma was the reason that Henry didn't actually grow up with his mom like he had believed he this past year) Henry doesn't know what to say or think so he just keeps his mouth shut.
When he learns that Neal, his dad, had sacrificed himself to save the town he feels super proud because he had always wanted his dad to be a hero. However when his grandparents reveal that they have honored him by naming his uncle 'Neal' all Henry can
think is why they would want to name their son after the guy that had hurt he and his mom so much. Once again he says nothing.
Henry's feelings about his father are like night and day. Some days he'd do anything to bring him back. Others he couldn't care less.
On the third anniversary marking his fathers death Henry finds his way to Neal's grave. He sees a wreath of flowers someone left there (his grandpa Gold probably, they were definitely not his mother's taste) and he stares silently at the tombstone in
front of him, feeling just as split and conflicted as the first time he stood there after regaining his memories. He hears soft footsteps behind him and turns to see Hook coming towards him, a small sad smile on his face.
"How'd you know I'd be here?" Henry asked once his step father had come to a stop beside him.
"Didn't know you would be lad. I just wanted to come and see Bae today. I'm glad to see I'm not the only one thinking about him." Hook replies and nods to the small wreath adorning Neal's grave.
"Yeah, I guess…Where's mom?" Henry asks wondering if his mother even remembers what today is. Half of him not blaming her for not being here while the other half hates that she isn't.
"She and I were here this morning before heading into the station." Hook tells him.
"She ok?" Henry asks knowing that having Neal die in his moms arms was probably super traumatic for her considering that she never talked about it.
"Shes been quiet. We were only here for a brief moment or two before we got a call and had to go. But I can tell it's still on her mind. She loved your father very much Henry." Hook tells him earnestly.
"Not as much as she loves you." Henry half grumbles half sighs out.
Hook doesn't say anything because he can't exactly deny that fact. He and Emma share true love, the rarest and most powerful of magic, something that her and his dad didn't have. But Henry can tell that Hook isn't about to rub that in Henry's face. especially
today of all days. Even if Henry himself had been the one to bring it up.
BEFORE Henry would have resented that his mom loved someone more than his dad meaning that they could never be the real family that Henry had always wanted. AFTER Henry would have been glad that someone made her so happy and that she had found someone
to truly love after what Neal had done and he would have wanted to rub it in the mans face. NOW, well NOW, Henry doesn't know how to feel.
"If you were here earlier why'd you come back?" Henry asks, choosing to ignore the warring thoughts inside his own head.
"I wanted to leave Bae something." Hook says quietly as he reaches into his pocket and places a small slender object on the tombstone. Henry sees that it's a charcoal drawing pencil and he remembers how Hook told him how talented of an artist
Bae—Neal-HIS DAD, had been.
"I know it's not much but…" Hook trails off.
Neither of them speak for a few more minutes. They just stand there lost in their own memories.
Finally Hook claps Henry on the shoulder "Granny's? My treat." He asks hopefully. Henry nods and the two of them make their way towards the diner in compatible silence. They stay silent even after they sit down and order their food. Henry is
lost in his confusing thoughts of Neal, the father he barely knew.
"You seem vexed." Hook finally says. Henry is about to say that he's fine when Hook continues with "You have the same look on your face your father always did when something was troubling him. Do you want to talk about it?"
Henry knows that Hook cares about him and is probably only trying to help but he also knows that the pirate won't push the subject or make him talk about it either if he doesn't want to. Henry is about to shut him down and tell him it's nothing when he
suddenly realizes that he DOES want to talk about it. He had been keeping his conflicting thoughts and feelings for his biological father inside for so long and he needs to tell SOMEONE, even if it's just for the sake of saying it out loud.
"It's just…complicated and confusing." he says and when Hook gives him a small nod in encouragement suddenly it's all rushing out of Henry before can stop himself. "ok this is going to sound crazy but it's just that there was my dad who
I met when I was 11 and my mom told me he was dead but he actually wasn't and he wanted to make up for lost time so we ate pizza and talked sports and had sword fights and I wanted him and my mom to be together so we could all be a family and he helped
rescue me from Pan and told me that he loved me and that he would find a way back to me when me and my mom had to leave because of Pans curse. Then he sacrificed his life to save us all because he loved me and my mom. That was my dad and I love and
miss my dad. Then there's this kid Bae that you and sometimes grandpa Gold talk about and I love hearing about him. You tell me how he loved drawing and sword fighting and hated magic and loved sailing and how he could navigate by the stars and how
fun and carefree and happy he was aboard the Jolly Roger. And I'll I can think is how cool it would have been to hang out with Bae on a pirate ship because in my head he's just this kid that has nothing to do with me. And then…" Henry takes a
deep breath before he hastily continues on " then there was this dirtbag Neal Cassidy who was a thief and criminal - not even the good kind like you and Robin - but the bad kind and he totally screwed my mom over and broke her heart making
it hard for her to open up and love anyone - even ME – and he did it just because August told him too and Neal was too much of a coward of his father to fight for us. Even after the curse broke he didn't bother to come and look for us because he
didn't care and I know that it's technically wrong to speak ill of the dead or whatever but I HATE Neal Cassidy."
Henry stops. He had never admitted any of this to anyone and he desperately hoped no one had overheard his tirade because he didn't want any of his family finding out just how upset he still was over all of this, even after all this time. "And it's
just hard to deal with them all being the same person is all." He finally adds on while he stares down at the table in front of him, eyebrows furrowed.
There's a brief silence and Henry can tell that Hook is trying to digest everything he's just told him. Henry suddenly panics that Hook is going to tell his mom everything he's just said and that is the LAST thing he wants right now. Hooks voice
pulls Henry out of his retrieve.
"I know what you mean lad." Well, that was probably the last thing Henry expected the pirate to say. He had expected him to ask if he's ever talked to Archie or his mother about any of this and then possibly dropped him off at Archie's himself.
But just as suddenly as the feelings of being pleasantly surprised that he wasn't being treated like he was crazy anger courses through him as well, because how in the HELL does Hook understand ANYTHING about how Henry is feeling?
"How?" Henry asks folding his arms across his chest angrily. His voice came out more accusatory and angry than probably polite but right now he can't find it in himself to care.
"You just said it yourself lad, I knew your father as a boy." Hook says "When I knew Bae he was a smart and adventurous lad who just wanted a family. He loved sword fighting and fishing and sailing the open seas with me and my crew. He
was kind and as honorable as one could be whilst living among pirates." Hook winked at Henry but then continued, however his voice was now slightly distant and sad. "Bae was like a son to me and I loved him more than I thought I was capable
of at the time…"
The man drifted off for a second and Henry immediately felt guilty. He KNOWS that Hook misses Bae and that his memories of him can be sometimes painful for the man to relive. But like Hook had just said Henry seems to constantly FORGET that Bae is Neal
Cassidy and that they are both his dad. Henry stays silent waiting for Hook to continue on with his original point and after a minute he does.
"However like you said there was also Neal Cassidy. A man who I was not only in competition with for your mother's heart for but who had also hurt your mother so deeply that she had guarded herself off from the world through more layers of walls
than you would believe. I wanted to beat Neal Cassidy to a bloody pulp for what he did to her. No woman deserved to be treated that way, especially your absolute treasure of a mother." Hook admitted angrily. "So, aye, lad, I understand how
you feel…and for what it's worth, your mother does as well." He says then looking up at Henry.
Henry considered this for a long moment. He felt better that he wasn't alone in these thoughts but at the same time none of this really helped him either. "So how do you cope with it?" He finally asks.
"You realize that your father was human and that he made mistakes. Big mistakes, but mistakes just the same. You remember that despite those mistakes he loved you and your mother both very much and only wanted the best for you. Personally, I don't
condone or understand how he could do what he did to your mother and I never will but that doesn't mean I don't love and miss him any less." Hook tells Henry sternly.
Henry nods thinking over the Pirates words. Hook was right of course but life isn't as simple as that. Henry didn't know if he would ever really be able to entirely reconcile that fact that his dad was these three different people that he had totally
different feelings about, even in his own head. He didn't know if he would ever truly be able to forgive Neal Cassidy-his dad-for what he did. He also didn't know if he would even forgive himself for holding such animosity for the man that had been
his father, but for now it was nice that someone seemed to get it.
Henry looked up at his step father who was fiddling with his hook and trying not to look nervous about the fact that Henry hadn't responded yet to anything he had said.
Henry smiled. "Thanks." He said warmly, trying to put into that one word just how much he appreciated Hooks understanding.
The pirate smiled slightly sheepishly and scratched behind his ear "Anytime lad." He said.
"Can we play dice? I think I'm getting pretty good!" Henry asked, suddenly wanting nothing more than to spend the afternoon with his step father.
"Oh now, well we'll just have to see about THAT." Hook smirked at him as he took out his loaded dice.
The two men played loaded dice for fries the rest of the afternoon. His mom met up with them in the evening and they sat around the table at Granny's eating greasy food and swapping stories about Henry's biological father. Hook told stories about Bae,
Emma about Neal, and Henry about his dad. It wasn't enough to fully quell the multitude of conflicting emotions Henry still had for the man but for right now…right now it was enough to simply sit and spend time with people that would always love and
understand him; his parents.