Author's Note: This story has nothing to do with Fair Play, it is a completely different take on Joey. If you are at all attached to the Joey of that story, you might not want to read any further.
Seriously, I appreciate it if you like my writing, but if you can't separate this Joey and the Fair Play Joey, bad things will happen.
Lunacy: Can't Sleep, My Thoughts Will Eat Me
Most nights when Joey Wheeler couldn't sleep, he talked. He would call a friend, his current lover, or, those two failing, he would listen, but tonight, in one of the poorer sections of Domino there was nothing to listen to, and Joey was wide awake. There were no cars going by, no rowdy teenagers on their way to or home from a party, no cats, and, as loathe as he was to wish for their presence, no dogs. The snow had fallen heavily throughout the day, and it covered the ground like layers of dust on an unused world. The last few, fashionably late flakes were dancing in as Joey watched. On any other day the view that his third floor apartment afforded him was perfect , but with nothing to look at, Joey was left with no lens through which to focus his mind. His thoughts preyed upon him.
It was this that kept Yugi up so many nights, that had frightened off so many lovers, that had provided the motivation for so much reading. And normally he would have done one of those things, but the power had gone out hours ago and not come back on yet. He searched through his bedside drawer for a flashlight. No batteries.
In all honesty, Joey hated the night, not the dark, the night. Nights were when he had nothing left to distract him, when he was alone, save his fears and regrets. Namely the one that had him sleeping alone each night.
He had never had a nightmare as far as he could remember, it was being awake that plagued him. He was left to recount all the mistakes he had made in his life. Joining the gang, hurting so many innocent people. The drugs. The anonymous sex. The fact that he sometimes missed it all. Sure, he had cleaned himself up, left that life behind, but there was always that nagging temptation to go back.
Since he'd started his new life (the one that if it couldn't be called honorable, could at least be said to be neutral) he had been with a few different lovers (not an unnatural amount, not so few as to make him a prude and not so many as to make him a slut). But this night, and for so many before, his bed was cold.
His last lover had been the one he thought would change him forever, make him a better person. Seto Kaiba.
That man had made him want to be better, want to be worthy to stand in his glow. For him he wanted to shed his past, to be pure enough to make love to him. Because when he came to know the blue eyed boy, he saw how good he was. Seto was his angel, his savior. If he could, he would have made a religion around him, worshiped at his alter. But soon his love grew into an obsession, and his love was smothered under its weight.
Seto Kaiba left him. Left him with his thoughts in the nights he should have been in his arms.
Tonight the tears streamed down his face. It was too much. The lack of sleep, the regretting, the moonlight was driving insane. Falling so clearly through the snow and the panes of his window. Through his own pain.
He needed sleep so badly. The numbness, the dreams that couldn't hurt him like life did.
He wiped his eyes and turned towards Seto's picture.
Sleep.
He writhed in his bed, hoping it would leave him exhausted enough to sleep. But he knew he was past the point of exhaustion. He had stopped yawning days ago.
He read once that a human can only live for seven to ten days without sleep.
The blue eyes stared at him and he put the picture face down.
Slowly, his limbs aching from the effort, he stood and walked to the bathroom.
Sleep.
He needed it so badly.
He opened the medicine cabinet, searching almost blindly from the florescent lighting. Grasping for the blister packet of sleeping pills, finally wrapping his fingers around his prize, but it was almost empty, so he began looking again, for a new sheet.
Sleep. Oh god. It hurt so much. His mind. His heart. His body.
Ah. Sleep was in his hands now.
He popped out five pills, then swallowed them at once, dry.
Five more.
Five more.
Until the sheet was empty.
He stumbled back into bed then, waiting for the sleep to overtake him.
He set his love's picture right again, and gazed at it sadly, lovingly, regretfully, until the cloud of sleep overtook him.
The next morning Seto was knocking at the door, but Joey didn't hear him. He let himself in, and walked quietly to Joey's room. Still sleeping. His puppy never was a morning person.
Puppy. It was ironic that he was the one to come running back like a lost dog.
He stroked Joey's cheek, and shrinking back, his hand began to shake.
Joey had finally fallen asleep.
::END::