IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ:Hi everyone. I know I shouldn't be writing a new story, but I have been in my free time. It's taken me awhile to get the first two chapters done, not because I lose interest or don't know where to go, but because I've been trying really hard to make this really detailed and as close to perfect as I can… That, and the fact that I have a lot going on in my real life despite how much I love writing OTH (Brucas) fanfiction. I wasn't going to post it because I didn't want everyone hanging onto a story and hoping for extremely fast updates, but I figured what the hell.
Just know that if you're reading this, I can't make any guarantees about when the next chapter or any chapter for that matter, is gonna be up. I'm taking my time on this one no matter how many inspiring, great reviews I get.
But anyway… if you're willing to bear with me….
Enjoy!
--x-x-x--
He hadn't planned this.
If you asked him who he was in love with, he'd tell you it was Lindsey. Hell, if it wasn't Lindsey, why would he be marrying her in a week? Why would he have proposed to her in the first place if it didn't feel right? Why would he sleep next to her every night, his arm wrapped around her waist protectively, a smile planted on both of their faces?
If you asked him, he was madly in love with Lindsey.
But everyone else had a different opinion.
Everyone around him had tried to convince him that he and Peyton were still meant to be together, even after not seeing each other for five years. Suddenly, Peyton was back in town and everyone, including the blonde girl, had expected him to destroy what he had built with Lindsey to give her another chance.
If you asked him, he and Peyton had ended before they had even started. Their so-called relationship started as an almost-fling, had escalated into a love triangle and had burned out when Lucas realized that there was more to Brooke Davis than her reputation gave her credit for. Even when they had dated after he and Brooke had broken up, there was still nothing but lies. He had lied to her about how he felt but worst of all, he had lied to himself.
If you asked him, the only reason he had ever ended up with Peyton during the end of senior year was because Brooke, along with the rest of his friends and family, had told him that she was the one for him. Brooke had gone as far as shoving her own emotions to the side to give him and Peyton a chance. She left him. Flat out left him. After everything the pair had gone through to make their relationship work, she was ready to give up, leaving him with empty bullshit reasons on why she had to do this, his mouth hanging open in utter shock. He had been speechless. How could she just let him go?
So, eventually, Lucas had begun dating Peyton after coming to the realization that Brooke wouldn't take 'no' for an answer, because, as according to everyone, he and Peyton were meant to be. He could say he had developed feelings for her, but that would be a lie. He had only been with Peyton for two reasons: to heal his heart from his breakup with Brooke and because everyone told him that it was where he should've been.
Now, it was the same thing. He was with Lindsey, he loved Lindsey, yet people, including Brooke once again, were still pushing for Peyton. But he knew better.
Peyton didn't take 'no' very well. And after her latest confession that clarified the real reason for the downfall of Brooke-and-Lucas, he wasn't even sure if they were fit to be friends, much less soul mates.
But that was a different story.
Right now, all he could think about was how he had fucked up, yet again. And once again because of Lucas's uncertainty and actions, someone's heart was going to end up broken.
The only problem was that he wasn't sure whose heart it was: Lindsey's, his… or maybe even Brooke's.
Although he'd never admit it, he had never truly let go of Brooke Davis. How could he? After she had left him, claiming that he and Peyton's 'kiss' during the shooting back in high school had been the reason, he had never quite gotten over it. To him, the reason was a load of shit. There was something behind it she wasn't telling him. He tried to find it, tried to push her to the point where she'd break down and confess why she'd really given up on them, but he couldn't. He chased Brooke for three months before he realized: if Brooke had her mind set on not telling him, she would die with her lips sealed. Especially if it meant protecting someone she loved.
He sat on the edge of the bed in his room, the blankets crumpled sloppily around him. Another reminder. Lindsey was in New York, doing a few last things for the wedding. He ran his hands through his messy blonde hair. This action had become habit around the time he and Brooke had gotten together for the second time. Although he loved that girl with all of his heart, there was no reasoning or rationalizing with her when she had an opinion. Their countless, yet completely meaningless, arguments had made him want to pull his hair out and somewhere along the line, the figure of speech had turned into a literal action: pulling at his hair when Brooke drove him crazy. Sometimes, it was bad craziness. Like when she'd accuse him of brooding over Peyton's latest drama, even when all he was thinking about was how gorgeous his girlfriend looked that day.
But most of the time, it was the type of craziness that he fell in love with. The type of craziness that made him get a tattoo; a permanent reminder of the girl who had stolen his entire heart, yet had never fully given it back. The type of craziness that made him have to fight the urge to push her against a wall and kiss her senseless, even in the middle of school. The type of craziness that made him miss her when she wasn't near, even after they'd been broken up for five and a half years.
Tonight, she had been wearing red.
Red was her signature color, and because of it, he was partial to seeing it on anyone else.
Brooke had been wearing a red thong that first night in the bar. Although this hadn't been significant at the time because, quite frankly, the fact that he had Brooke Davis up against an alley wall was significant in its own right, he had come to realize that that piece of lingerie had started it all. He had finally shown Tree Hill his true basketball talents. His prize? A naked Brooke Davis in his backseat. "How many moments in life can you point to and say, 'That's when it all changed?'" she murmured from behind him. She had been wrong. The moment in the bar. That is when it all truly changed for Lucas.
Then, there was the red dress she had worn to the basketball appreciation dinner at the beginning of junior year and the fiery-red lipstick that her lips were drenched in, matching the dress flawlessly. He had had his eyes on Peyton that night, but there was no denying that Brooke looked phenomenal. He wasn't aware at that time either, but Brooke's love of red was going to leave a permanent streak across his heart.
Then, there was the she-devil costume that she wore to the masquerade party at Tric that same year; the costume she had designed. The satin-esque material of the barely-there dress hugged her curves making her look more beautiful than ever, and the feathers that adorned the waistline were enough to send Lucas over the edge right then and there, amongst all those people. It had been the time where Brooke had been playing the non-exclusive-card, still trying to see if Lucas was true or not after his first infidel fiasco. One of the feathers had fallen off her in the course of the night. He had saved it until this very day. It was still stuffed in his Brooke-box, among all of his other high school possessions that were stored in the attic of his house.
Then there was the red dress from Nathan and Haley's wedding. True, all of the bridesmaids wore the exact same dress, but Brooke had been the only one who could fully pull it off, with her chocolate curls cascading down her collar bone.
And then there was the red door that truly defined everything Brooke Davis epitomized. That red door stuck out like a flame smack in the middle of her white shingled house. Brooke was that door. Amongst the plain, monotonous white mansion, the door was the one thing that you could distinguish from miles down the road. When it snowed and all of Tree Hill was covered in white powder, Brooke's door was still visible. Brooke was the same way. There was something about her that made her distinguishable in the largest of crowds. Maybe it was the hypnotizing way her body moved when she walked or danced. Or maybe it was her raspy voice that gave him chills every time he heard it. Maybe it was the fact that he could swear he heard her heart beating whenever they got close enough. There was just something about Brooke Davis that he hadn't been able to completely capture in any other girl yet.
Red epitomized everything that Brooke Davis was.
Dangerous. Sexy. Wild. Fiery. Warm. Passionate.
But why she had to wear red tonight was beyond Lucas's comprehension. Coincidence, his head told him. But his heart told him fate.
He ran his hands through his hair again, making sure he didn't move the bed too much. She had fallen asleep two hours prior, but he had laid, restless, staring up at the ceiling while she curled up to him for warmth. Now, after a quick splash of cold water on his face, he had found himself at the edge of the bed, his bare back to the small brunette that lay behind him.
Brooke had changed from the moment he and Peyton had made their "exclusiveness" official. She began running more and eating less. Her waist began to shrink even more, if that was even possible, and her collar and wrist bones began jutting out more than they should have. Of course people noticed, especially those who loved her, but she always waved a dismissive hand saying that it was due to the running and the excessive work. So eventually, people stopped asking.
Work. Work was what brought Brooke back to Tree Hill. If she hadn't decided to open up the Clothes Over Bros boutique in his mother's old café… if Peyton hadn't needed her to come home so she wouldn't have to face the blue eyed boy alone… Lucas was sure that the most he'd see of Brooke was in the tabloids. Of course she called. She spoke to their godson, Jamie, on a weekly basis and would occasionally call to check on Lucas. She kept the crew in Tree Hill posted on her latest fashion shows and successes, and Nathan and Haley had even flown to New York one weekend with Jamie in tow to see the latest collection being displayed at fashion week. They had begged Lucas and Lindsey to come, but he hadn't been sure if Lindsey could handle meeting the one girl that had changed his standards forever. Truth was, he wasn't sure he could handle it.
Although Brooke was miles away and their phone calls weren't exactly extensive, whenever he needed an opinion, he knew he could call her. She had even helped pick out Lindsey's engagement ring with him. He had sent her link after link and e-mail after e-mail of rings until he and Brooke had agreed on the perfect one.
Little did Lucas know that the beautiful platinum ring he had chosen for Lindsey was the one she would've chosen for herself, if she and Lucas were ever to get married.
But work was Brooke's life.
First, it was a small line for Victoria's Secret the summer after her senior year. Then, it was a line of t-shirts for Macy's. T-shirts escalated into dresses, and from there, an entire Clothes Over Bros by Brooke Davis collection including jeans, tops and accessories. After two years of success at Macy's, Brooke had decided to remove her couture line from there in order to open a series of her own boutiques. Macy's still sold the t-shirts, jeans and other daily-wear items, but now Clothes Over Bros stores were popping up anywhere that there was high fashion. New York, Los Angeles, Milan and Paris were included on the list. Somewhere on the timeline, Clothes Over Bros evolved into BPD Couture. C over B, she claimed, was a thing of high school that Macy's could gladly continue selling as long as she still had final say of the designs, prices and models used. BPD was Brooke's 'adult' line. Gowns cost thousands, and celebrities all over the red carpet clad themselves in Brooke's high-end line.
She had begun to slow down now that she had been in Tree Hill for a month, but she was still so thin. It hurt Lucas to see her so frail, but he hadn't tried to fix her. It wasn't his place anymore, and it would probably never be again.
Yet, she was still naked in his bed.
She stirred slightly as he adjusted himself, his bottom becoming numb from staying in the same position for such a long time. He heard her murmur something, and he whispered, "go back to sleep," in a soothing voice before returning to his brooding.
Brooding. He had never even thought of himself as a "brooder" until Brooke had come along. Hell, he had never seen himself as the type of guy who would enjoy having his girlfriend refer to him by nicknames. There were a lot of things he didn't know until Brooke came along.
She had made everything so clear.
As he continued to wonder why he had ever let her walk out of his room in the first place that night during senior year, he felt the bed move behind him. The movement was slow as she crept closer to him, supporting herself on all fours. He could feel her behind him, but he didn't dare turn around.
If he turned around, he would have to face her hazel eyes. Eyes that were begging for him to love her, and only her, even though she would never admit it, especially if it meant hurting not only Lindsey, but Peyton.
She rubbed her eyes slowly. "Hi," she murmured softly in her intoxicating voice.
"Hi," he whispered, as if trying to keep a secret. This felt wrong. Being here with Brooke felt wrong. So why couldn't he convince his heart to stop beating so fast?
She subconsciously thanked her lucky stars that Lucas remained in his position, his back still to her. Most girls would take it offensively, a guy they had just slept with refusing to make eye contact with them. But this was different. Right now, she didn't know if she could handle looking into those striking eyes. Not after what had happened tonight, at least.
With him facing away from her, she had courage. She could be the real Brooke Davis; outgoing and seductive and gentle. If he looked at her, her walls would melt down with a glance and she would have to admit that she had missed him in a bigger way than she had thought.
She smirked momentarily, remembering the first time she had seen him. It was the middle of a basketball game and she and Peyton were on the sidelines cheering.
'He looks good from behind,' she commented as she kinked her eyebrow subconsciously.
From behind, he looked good. From behind, he didn't have to be the Lucas Eugene Scott that had hurt her a million times over, yet who still managed to capture her with the smallest lies and most passionate kisses.
So, mustering her courage, she wrapped her arms around his body and pulled herself close to him. She rested her cheek on his muscular back and breathed him in. She held her breath for a moment, afraid that he would push her away, realizing that they had made a mistake. But instead, he placed his large, comfortable hands over her small ones. She let the breath out as she smiled to herself in satisfaction.
Maybe there was still hope.
He didn't understand why he did it, why he was compelled to touch her. His hands had minds of their own when she was around, wandering over her ever-shrinking arms, rubbing them protectively.
Her naked body was completely pressed upon his back. Although her flesh was warm, he couldn't help but shiver. Brooke Davis had that effect on him from day one.
Her skin against his was enough for him to become aroused again, but he mustered the last of his strength not to be.
He closed his eyes tightly, trying to blur out the memory of the night that they had shared together only hours before. If he pressed them together tightly enough, maybe she wouldn't be there anymore. If he could only picture Lindsey's face instead of Brooke's behind his darkened eyelids, he would know that this had just been a mistake: unresolved emotions and the desperate need for closure. If he could just peel Brooke's hands off him and tell her that everything that had happened was a mistake, he would know that he wasn't going insane.
But his senses wouldn't cooperate. All he could touch, all he could taste, all he could see was Brooke Davis.
It's funny how things work sometimes.