As always, I do not own the characters. They belong to Square-Enix/Disney. I only own the plot. ENJOY :D XemSai-- "Alone"
"We have no emotions," Xemnas drawled, eyes transfixed upon his most-belovéd heartmoon. His arms reached toward it, as if trying to reach into the heavens and pull it closer, just to be near so many precious hearts, the final ingredient for the formula of existence. "And yet…. They insist upon these… sexual…" The next work seemed sour, almost poisonous to the Superior's tongue, "relationships."
At last, the stoical leader turned, dropping his arms to his sides, and came face-to-face with his ever-faithful second-in-command. Now, Saïx had always listened to his Superior's rambles—Even Ais had been one to listen when his friends wished to vent. "I do not entirely understand their motives," he replied. But he knew enough.
Xemnas nodded once and positioned himself so that he could see both Saïx and Kingdom Hearts, illuminating the far side of his dark skinned face. "So much… fake… unfeeling… 'love' rules this castle. If I possessed a heart I would be thoroughly sickened by it all."
"Sir," the Luna Diviner interjected, "if we all possessed hearts, we wouldn't be here, there wouldn't be any of these relationships, and we wouldn't be standing here discussing them." He nearly smiled when Xemnas's eyes flashed and an amused smirk made its way across the Superior's face.
"Indeed," The silver-haired man agreed. "VII, tell me something." He turned fully toward the Diviner; an almost quizzical look crossed his features. "Even with all the peer pressure exerted upon you, you have yet to have joined in a relationship with another member. Why?"
Saïx nearly froze, but remained calm and emotionless. "We have no emotions, and none of the others catch my attention." Lie. One did, and Saïx couldn't bring himself to say it.
Another nod. "I see. You do, indeed, have a strong will." Xemnas's praise always seemed to make Saïx "happy" no matter what his fragmented emotions were telling him he should be. It had always confused him. Saïx looked past his superior as he turned his back yet again toward him, to Kingdom Hearts.
Saïx wished Xemnas would look at him, with those burning amber eyes, the way he did the heartmoon, longingly, obsessively. He looked to his hands, gloved in those uniformic black gloves, trembling nearly unnoticeably with anxiety. Saïx wanted to tell Xemnas quite badly.
"One would think," The silver haired man began, keeping his eyes the heavens above, "with me, being superior, the boss, and most powerful Nobody, most of the others would be on their knees begging for me…" His arms hung limply at his sides—Saïx could have easily imagined himself standing behind him, arms wrapped tightly around his midsection, whispering quietly in his ear. Xemnas's next sentence grabbed Saïx roughly out of his dream and into the real world. "And yet I am alone..."
"You are not."
The ever-stoic leader whipped around, eyes blazing as if an act of defiance had been played out before him, "What was that, VII?" he nearly hissed. Shocked, the Diviner stepped back, golden eyes widened.
"I said 'you are not' sir."
"Oh, inow/i you decide to call me 'sir'?" From what Saïx could see, multiple fragmented emotions flashed across those eyes, burning into him.
Keeping his eyes locked onto his superior's golden glare, "Xemnas, sir, I didn't mean--!"
"Be silent, VII." Xemnas ordered, promptly, and Saïx obeyed. "You do know the consequences of speaking out of turn, I presume?" The Luna Diviner nodded, quite aware of them; he himself normally carried out the punishments of those who spoke out of turn toward their superior. "Then why do you insist on doing so?"
"Superior, I do not mean to speak out of place," Saïx began, "But you truly are not alone, sir."
The expression on Number I's face didn't falter; it remained almost fixed, stone-like, that angered glare of his. He said one thing—and one thing alone—that sent Saïx's world crashing:
"Get out of my sight."
Over the next few days, Saïx guessed Xemnas was still pissed at him, seeing as he hadn't been called to his office to discuss things about the Organization or just to stare at the Heartmoon in the Alter of Naught. To him, this was probably not a good thing—seeing as Nobodies aren't supposed to feel emotions to begin with, but then, how would Xemnas still be upset with him?
Three days after he had last spoken to his Superior, Saïx departed from his room in Proof of Existence. He made his way to the kitchen, having not taken a portal for a strange need to get exercise, seeing as he hadn't really left his room in days. Loud voices drifted to his pointed ears as he neared his destination; great, Axel and Demyx were getting snacks.
"So, did Zexy tell you—? Ew, man, I can't believe you use that much mustard!" Demyx grimaced, eyeballing Axel's sandwich, currently dripping with the yellowy goodness.
Axel grinned when Saïx entered the room. "Yeah, I have to use this much. And Yeah, ickle Zexy did tell me that Xemnas's lapdog got the boot and was replaced." VII paused, and looked at his subordinates; he knew Axel was laughing at him; no one else would be described as 'Xemnas's lapdog' but him. Axel turned, pretending to have just suddenly notice the Diviner in the kitchen. "Hey, Moony!" The look on the Flurry of Dancing Flames's face was utterly and completely mocking of his non-being.
Demyx, on the other hand, was giving Saïx a frown, like he didn't like what had happened. Saïx didn't like the fact that apparently he had been stripped of his second-in-command title and wasn't even aware of it—unless these two were bluffing, but Demyx couldn't lie to save his life. He felt hurt—yes, that word can be used here, since the fragmented emotions were still there and quite lively—especially that Xemnas would get so worked up over what Saïx thought to be true—Xemnas had him, even if he was too stubborn to notice it.
From the kitchen, VII made his way to the library—possibly the most popular place in the entire castle amongst Nobodies—and found The Savage Nymph and Graceful Assassin lounging on the couches, noses buried in books. Larxene, of course, was reading that wretched Marquis de Sade book. Marluxia was reading some oversized book, probably concealing a porno magazine behind it. Like it fooled anyone.
Neither regarded Saïx was he walked past them, glancing almost uncertainly out of the oversized arched window, at Kingdom Hearts. He felt a pang of an almost foreign emotional shard, even though he was unsure if Xemnas had, indeed, kicked him from his place. He needed proof.
He disappeared through a corridor of darkness to the Alter of Naught, where he was sure Xemnas was.
Saïx appeared before Xemnas, who turned away from Kingdom Hearts when he heard the portal open. Xemnas showed to signs of anything good; in fact, it seemed he narrowed his eyes at the sigh of his subordinate. Number I turned his back on VII, as the golden-eyed berserker noticed another Nobody in the room—VI. Zexion had paused to look at him, no expression crossed the younger Nobody's face, except for perhaps the lightest of smirks that passed over the lips of the Schemer.
Saïx left the Alter of Naught, and wasn't seen again for at least two weeks.
It was Demyx who found him first, since he seemed concerned enough to check on the Diviner, since IX was normally concerned for his fellow Organization members. Saïx was curled up on his bed, staring blankly at his wall, and for the first time, with his back to his beloved Kingdom Hearts, on purpose.
"Saïx?" Demyx inquired, stepping into the berserker's domain. He proceeded to the bed cautiously, unsure if his sudden presence would send him into berserk mode. His only response was a huff from the azure-haired Nobody. The blonde frowned, and walked along side the bed, plopping down right in front of where Saïx lay brooding. Golden eyes watched him, blankly yet expectant. "Are you okay?"
The Luna Diviner snorted, almost negatively. Demyx's frown didn't falter. "I hate this," The Nocturne confessed, his gaze falling downward. "Zexy's spending most of his time with Xemnas…" Saïx watched him, trying to keep his expression emotionless. "He… He stopped spending time with me!" IX suddenly looked up; his eyes gave plenty of the emotions that they weren't supposed to be able to feel away—sadness, loneliness, depression… A mirror of how Saïx was 'feeling.'
"Is he worth it, Demyx?" Finally, he spoke. Yet he still refused to let these emotions be shown. He pushed himself off the bed, for what seemed like the first time in forever.
"Is Xemnas worth it?" Demyx countered. Saïx visibly flinched. "Oh! I'm sorr—!"
"Its fine," Saïx replied, getting off the bed and making his way to his bathroom. Demyx got to his feet and followed the Diviner with his aqua eyes. VII looked in the mirror at his reflection—he was pale, from lack of food, and his eyes had bags from his lack of sleep. He frowned.
"So what's the plan?" Demyx asked, now standing in the doorway to the bathroom.
"Plan?"
"Yeah. The plan where we get you your spot back with Xemnas and Zexy comes back to spend time with me!"
"You're being too optimistic. It would be a lot more difficult than that." Saïx gritted his teeth, staring at his reflection He felt disgusted at himself.
"I know that," Demyx leaned against the doorframe, looking at the mirror and Saïx's reflection. "Its not healthy for you to be like this… Or me, for that matter."
The Diviner paused, and finally took in Demyx's appearance: his hair that was normally gelled up was drooping, as if IX thought he needn't impress anyone, his eyes had a glint in them of sadness that was foreign to Saïx; they also looked red, like he had been crying.
He was right. The sudden change in positions wasn't good for either of them. But what could they do?
Weeks passed, as Saïx and Demyx thought up ways to return things to normal. None of them would do anything. Much to the Nocturne's dismay, Zexion hadn't even been acknowledging him. VII felt sorry for him; and wanted to pound sense into the Schemer's head. Wasn't he supposed to smart, and know that you can't let power go to your head?
Zexion stood in the kitchen, attempting to make coffee for his Superior. Lately, Xemnas had been displeased with it. Zexion knew how to make tea, not coffee. He frowned, picking up a familiar scent of someone walking into the room.
"You're doing it wrong," Saïx couldn't help but tell him, "He likes it black, with sugar; no cream or anything," He saw Zexion nod and make the coffee as instructed, before scurrying off without as much as a 'Thank you.'
"Ungrateful, egotistical, prideful suck-up," He muttered under his breath. Now, he was finding it hard to believe that the two of them had actually been considered friends at one point in time. The Luna Diviner wouldn't dare tell Demyx of this; he didn't need the usually happy eighteen year-old being depressed. Not gonna happen.
"It's nice to see you up and about, Saïx," He hadn't heard Roxas walk in. "I heard what happened from Axel; he wasn't too nice about it." The azure haired VII turned to the younger blonde boy, who wore a slightly sympathetic smile. "I don't agree with what's happened. Xemnas is being stupid and Zexion's starting to be a complete snob. I saw him down the hallway and I got not reply to my greeting." The Key of Destiny frowned; he must have thought Zexion's ego was being inflated with his promotion as well. The youngest member held something out to Saïx. "Xemnas told me to give you these." It was a manila envelope, mostly likely containing mission specs. "He said you can bring one other member."
"Thank you," The Diviner replied. He was trying to keep his fragmented emotions in check, and let out a faint smile. At least Roxas was still respectable.
With another sympathetic smile, Roxas turned toward the door, "Be careful," he said, and walked out.
Saïx returned to his room with a snack; Demyx was sprawled across his bed, looking bored but perked up slightly when he Diviner walked in. VII tossed a bag of chips to the bottomless pit of a stomach Nocturne.
"Mission specs?" Demyx inquired, ripping open the bag as Saïx sat in his armchair, opening the envelope. He slid off the bed, bag of crunchy goodness still in hand. He was eating them slowly.
"Yes, and by the looks of it," He had slid the papers from their holder, "it's a pretty nasty mission; hardest level. I'm allowed to bring someone though." He saw the Nocturne's eyes almost twinkle at the thought of a high level mission.
"Me?" He questioned but then probably remembered he's never been on one so deadly and frowned.
"No, I wouldn't put you in that much danger," Mentally frowning, Saïx heard Demyx give a sigh of relief. IX returned to the bed, leaning against the headboard.
"If not me, then who, Saï?"
"Marluxia," Unlike most of the members of the Organization XIII, the Graceful Assassin still showed respect for him. Although Saïx did not trust him, Marluxia was a fierce and powerful fighter. He would be helpful on this mission.
After consulting Marluxia and briefing him on the mission, they departed, leaving Demyx behind.
The Melodious Nocturne wandered the halls of the Castle That Never Was, wondering what, in Saïx's absence, he should do. He was just thinking of going to Atlantica when he saw Zexion coming down the hallway toward him. He swallowed hard.
"Hey, Zexy," He chirped, hoping for a reply. Zexion didn't even look up, and walked past him. A frown was becoming scarily familiar to Demyx. He watched as the Cloaked Schemer kept walking and turned a corner, before muttering. "Am I not good enough anymore, now that you're so high and mighty?"
The next day, Saïx hadn't returned. Demyx felt worried a bit, but knew the deadly missions could take days—in one instance, weeks—to complete. Fortunately, Axel was out on a mission too, leaving Roxas with time to spend with him. Roxas was told of IX's previous encounter of VI.
"I can't believe how moronic people here are," Roxas muttered, a glare forming in his icy eyes. They were outside in the darkened city, trudging along through the constant rain, fighting off the occasional Shadow and Neoshadow Heartless that would appear. "I should knock some sense into him." XIII offered.
"No, but thanks, Rox," Demyx answered, sullenly. "If he cares enough he'll come around."
The younger blonde turned his gaze to him. "Dem, I know it's like you to be all optimistic and crap like that," He said, in that serious tone of his, "With the way things are going, Zexion will never understand how much he's hurting you. You should learn no one is worth waiting for like this." Demyx bowed his head, and leaned his skinny body against the abandoned building behind him, giving Roxas way to destroy two Neoshadows that had appeared.
"I-I know," Demyx replied. He sighed heavily, trying to keep the tears from forming in his eyes. "But I was trying to get him to like me since I joined… Then, when I finally had him… this happened…" There was a lump in his throat that didn't seem to want to go away.
Roxas's grip tightening on his twin Keyblades as he glared into the darkness with his cold eyes; if there was one thing he couldn't stand… it was when one of his friends was upset. "Let's go to Atlantica," He offered.
Demyx nodded, a tear sliding down his cheek and fell to the ground, mixed with the gloomy rain of the world they occupied.
Another day passed with no sign of Saïx; after yesterday, Demyx had tried to avoid seeing Zexion. It was working so far. An almost depressive air hung around the Nocturne; it was strange for any one in the Organization to see him in this state. They were used to happy Demyx, trotting along with his sitar in hand playing songs until they would throw lamps at him… not depressed Demyx that sulked through the castle's various hallways.
Axel had returned, so no Roxas is sight. Larxene had had one of her tender moments, and asked about how Demyx was, confused over his depression. She was also bored with no Marluxia to talk to. Luxord had offered a round of Go Fish with him and Xigbar to cheer him up; Demyx politely declined. Xaldin and Lexaeus were sparring; Vexen was taking advantage of no Marluxia and getting plenty of his back-up work finished.
Demyx didn't notice Zexion coming down the hallway toward him until he was ten feet away. The Nocturne decided to see if he got a reply this time, "Hey," he said. He was too depressed to even try to form 'Zexy.' Zexion pushed past him again, and Demyx felt his lid blow sky-high. "Okay. Fine. I get it, Zexion." The Nocturne almost hissed at him. "Now that you've been promoted, I'm not good enough anymore." IX knew he was glaring at the back of Zexion's head. He didn't care. He snarled the most hateful thing he could come up with, hoping it drove a dagger into the Schemer's nonexistent heart. "I hate you."
With that, he disappeared through a portal, tears forming in the docks of his eyes. He didn't see VI stop cold in his tracks, and turn wide-eyed to look at him, mouth agape. But Demyx had already left.
Zexion stood quietly with Xemnas, listening to his rant about how Kingdom Hearts was going to be completed and how they would regain their hearts. Of course, Zexion wasn't paying attention, his thoughts kept straying to Demyx and the words he had growled out. Every time he thought about it, guilt, sadness, even anger at himself would course through his veins. It was driving him crazy, the regret. His small hands curled into fists at his sides; why did he have to be so stupid? He needed to get out of this. NOW.
"Xemnas," He spoke, cutting off his Superior mid-speech. "I-I can't do this. I have to step down," Xemnas's amber stare barred onto him, awaiting an explanation. "I don't belong here; Saïx does. He's been helping me get everything right—he's more suited than I am…"
Before Xemnas could reply, a high voice sounded. "Superior!"
Larxene appeared before them. "Saïx and Marluxia have returned. Saïx is in critical condition. Vexen requests your presence." She then left, presumably worried about Marluxia, whose condition hadn't been stated.
In the lab, Vexen was trying to contain the heavy bleeding from VII's side. He was dangerously close to fading, and was trying to stay conscious. Vexen was wrapping his torso, earning growls and curses from the Diviner the entire time. Marluxia stood a few feet behind Vexen, eyes glued to the blonde scientist; Marluxia was in better condition, with cuts and bruises, only his arm was still bleeding sufficiently.
Larxene reappeared and started to work on Marluxia's cuts; she had been forced to be Vexen's assistant after failing her previous mission. The Assassin briefly gave her a look of gratitude, and returned his eyes to the Chilly Academic.
Demyx stood a bit off from Saïx, but kept sending him worried glances as Xigbar tried to keep the Nocturne from freaking out. II held him closely, whispering quietly to him that Saïx would be fine, hoping it to be true. It was hard to be sure, with the way Saïx had been gushing out blood. Demyx was clinging to him when Xemnas and Zexion appeared through a portal.
Zexion frowned and tried not to look at them. He faintly heard Saïx say something before Vexen telling him to sleep. He watched Saïx close his eyes and was out like a light. Before he would talk to Demyx, Zexion decided, he would clear things up between Saïx and Xemnas.
"Xemnas," The Cloaked Schemer turned to him, well aware of everyone in the room. "There's more than more reason Saïx is more suited to be Second-In-Command than I am…" All eyes looked to him, Demyx too; even Larxene looked up from her work, interestedly. "One is, he knows what he's doing the entire time. The second, Superior, I'm sure the reason you two got into a fight, was that he loves you and ithat's/i why he said you weren't alone!" Zexion sucked in a breath. He allowed himself to glance over at Demyx, who he could tell wore a slight smiled as he snuggled into Xigbar's chest. He frowned.
The Superior allowed himself a few moments to let what Zexion tell him sink in. His amber gaze went to the sleeping Saïx, an emotion falling heavily on his shoulders. Guilt. That high leveled mission was supposed to send Saïx to his end… He walked to where Saïx lay sleeping, mentally kicking himself. How could he be so DENSE? Xemnas pulled a chair over and sat at Saïx's side, where he intended to be when the Luna Diviner finally woke up.
Zexion's gaze didn't leave Demyx. Zexion knew, if there was the smallest change he'd ever get Demyx to love him again, he would have to do some serious ass kissing. He watched Xigbar lean down and give Demyx a peck on the lips. Jealousy coursed through his veins when he saw Demyx return the kiss, a smile starting to spread across his lips. Or perhaps Zexion had lost him for good?
Many uncertain hours passed in Vexen's lab. Every few seconds, Xemnas would glance at his unconscious Diviner. Deep down, he hoped Saïx would forgive him for being such an intolerable fool. He took Saïx's black gloved hand in his, holding it just to comfort himself and hopefully to send a message to him to wake up. He needed him to wake up.
As if on cue, the Luna Diviner stirred, and slowly his golden eyes opened. He groaned in pain and as his vision cleared he noticed someone sitting by his side, his hand in their grip. He turned his head, and his orbs fell on Xemnas, who was looking straight at him.
"How are you feeling?" Xemnas didn't drop his hand; did something happen while he was asleep or did Saïx actually fade? By the pain, he could tell he hadn't faded.
"Shitty," was his response. He noticed Xemnas smiled at him. He attempted to sit up, but pain shot through his entire body and he was forced back down.
"You shouldn't have done that… You need to be careful, Saix." Concern was written across I's face. Saïx must have looked confused because Xemnas said, "I had a talk with Zexion; he informed of some things I have missed about you… The reason we argued that day…" Saïx felt his face heat up and Xemnas chuckled at him. "Yes, that reason." Xemnas stood up from his chair and leaned down, to plant a kiss on Saïx's lips, meaning he accepted his love.
Okay, and I know I left it off with Demyx's heart in limbo, almost. A sequal may follow, depending on reviews and how many people ask.
'kay?