The Song of the Roses

A song. That was all it took. A song. Pure and simple. It took a song to get his shattered soul back. He needed his soul. He was mourning Rose when she wasn't dead. He had to leave her again. It was just something he had to do. Nothing would be able to save her from the torment. Her pain. So he left her, without the goodbye he craved. Without the kiss he craved from her once more. She was left there by him and he had never even said why. And now his passion was dying. The life in his eyes had flickered and died. She was gone. Regret filled every pore of his being as he listened to the words of Rose's favourite song. It stuck his many heartstrings.

It's been raining since you left me,

Now I'm drowning in the flood,

You see, I've always been a fighter,

But without you, I give up.

Rose was gone. Not coming back because he had been to cowardly to even say goodbye. The torture they had put her through didn't bare thinking about anymore. The Doctor was empty, more than empty; hollow and numb. He did the right thing, so why was there regret? It swamped over everything else in his system. It ate at him in earnest. Death would have been welcome to him now. He wanted Rose. He needed Rose but he didn't know why. It pulled and pulled and pulled at him until he couldn't hold it in any longer. The searing tears came at a cascade down his face as he remembered her.

What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair

To touch your lips, to hold you near

When you say your prayers try to understand

I've made mistakes, I'm just a man.

The green light of the TARDIS dimmed in the shadows of the Doctor's numbness as the too true words flooded over him again. This was him, his life. How could Rose have known? And Bon Jovi of all people? He chuckled lightly and thought of Rose singing in the shower...he'd heard her on the TARDIS often enough. Her voice was beautiful. Everything was beautiful. He always thought of her as the perfect rose. Not flawless but perfection itself to him. He wept once more at the loss. The TARDIS listened to a crack inside its soul. The Doctor was dying a very human death; of a broken heart. He was too stubborn to live. She took matters into her own hands.

I'll be there till the stars don't shine

Till the heavens burst

And the words don't rhyme

And I know when I die; you'll be on my mind

And I'll love you, always.

When he dies? He already has, many, many times. He never thought of anyone else before he regenerated or said goodbye but Rose...Rose was different. He felt the familiar speeding of his unshed grief in his mind. He couldn't go back now, could he? It'd put everything at risk. He could destroy her future. Or have Rose back with him. A part of the Doctor reasoned that she probably wouldn't want to come back to him. He rarely landed the TARDIS on time, but if he could just take a few goes...No! The Doctor shook his head and dismissed all thought of Rose. Unsuccessfully. Rose. That name meant so much to him; beauty, naivety, innocence, wickedness, humour, life, vigour, youth, friendship, humanity, compassion, strength, confidence, wit, heat, passion, fire, sex, closeness, kindness, empathy...everything. But there was one word that the Doctor's mind didn't want to admit to. The word slid past all the others and stood proud and regal overlooking everything. Love. Simple love. Realisation dawned on his face. It was love. Love he felt for Rose; it consumed everything in its path. He jumped up and around the TARDIS and was flying. The Doctor hadn't noticed the ancient groans of the engines stop, nor had he even noticed them starting. Curious, he looked onto a monitor to see where he was. Why the old girl had brought him here when all he wanted to be was with...

If you told me to cry for you

I could

If you told me to die for you

I would

Take a look at my face, there's no price I won't pay

To say these words to you.

Rose! He was at some sort of English country garden in Rose's future. And she was here! It was a wedding... Rose's? No, the TARDIS console blazed words onto the monitor. She waited for you; she knew you'd return to claim her love. He pulled back the TARDIS door and stepped out onto the lush green grass. He looked inside the great Victorian building through the French windows and scanned for Rose. Nothing. He walked around to the veranda and saw familiar blonde hairs cascading down a slim back he would recognize anywhere. He chose that precise moment to walk up to hear her gently singing an all too familiar tune. "And I'll love you, always. Doctor..." She trailed off gently. He slowly walked up behind her and just stared at the goddess in a beautiful dress that would look horrible on the hangar. She made it beautiful. Her head came up carefully as his breathing hitched behind her. She looked carefully around and no surprise flashed onto her face. "I knew you'd come back. But I don't know why." A ballad, quiet through glass came quietly on the sound system.

"Dance with me." He said simply. She did and never questioned why again but something bit at her heart and threatened to consume.

Well, there ain't no luck
In these loaded dice
But if you give me just one more try
We can pack up our old dreams
And our old lives
We'll find a place where the sun still shines...