And if the night's a lonely time for you,
Just listen to the words I gave to you,
Let the song of ours play one more time
Somewhere, somehow.
"No, wait, please" She was running, running towards someone, she could see them, they were so close. But by the time she got there they were gone. She began asking people, begging the crowds to tell her where the person she'd been looking for had gone. No one could tell her and she collapsed to her knees amongst the swarming crowd, tears running freely down her cheeks as she began to sob. She was alone. Again.
He watched helplessly as she mumbled and thrashed in her sleep. He wanted to wake her, save her from her nightmare, but he knew that sleep was the best thing for her in her condition. "Please, please come back" she cried out and he knew he'd watched her suffer for too long. "Jac" he leant over the bed and shook her shoulders gently, "Jac, it's okay, you're, you're safe".
Her eyes flickered open and her hand reached for the oxygen mask on her face. "Let me". He carefully lifted the mask from her face, placing it beside her on the bed. "What happened?" she asked groggily. Joseph shrugged, "you were found unconscious in the park by someone walking their dog. Was the infection not enough? Were you trying to give yourself hypothermia too?"
Went out walking in the morning
Standing in the pouring rain
Oh let it run over me
"Jackie, please darling, I'm sorry, your mum, I should never have let her. . . Ring me. Please. My number's 079. . ." "Message deleted" She was sick of the messages, her mother's other child, her mother's father. She didn't care. She didn't even listen to most of them before she deleted them, they weren't her family, she'd done fine without them in the past, and she'd be fine without them in the future.
She held her hand to her side, trying not to pull on her fresh stitches as she stood from the sofa. She shook her head and rolled her eyes as she saw the young girl stood on her doorstep. "Please" the girl begged, grabbing the door as Jac went to slam it shut. "Did you not get the hint from the fact I've not returned any of your calls? I don't want anything to do with you. With any of you." "Please, I want to get to know my sister." "You're not my sister." "Well, your half-sister, whatever." "No" Jac yelled, "You're nothing, I've not got a family, I've not got a sister, I've not got grandparents and I certainly haven't got a mother." Grabbing her keys Jac pushed past the young girl, ignoring her shouts as she stormed down the street, her hair sticking to her head, the tears running down her face mixing with the raindrops falling from the sky.
Stayed up way late last night
Tried to put all things right
Oh let the tears roll over me
"Mr Byrne, a quiet word please." Joseph was halfway through his shift when he felt Elliot's hand on his arm. Elliot nodded and followed the older man into his office. "Sit down" Joseph nodded and sat down by Elliot's desk. "Joseph" he said softly, "Miss Naylor was bought in about half an hour ago." Elliot saw Joseph's face fall, "what, is it her kidney, the infection?" Elliot shook his head, "she was found in the park by a man walking his dog, we don't know how long she's been out there" Joseph glanced to the window, watching the rain bounce off the glass pane, his eyes widening as a flash of lightning illuminated the night sky. Elliot smiled sadly at the young registrar, "Look, it's the graveyard shift, we're not both needed, you go and be with her. I'll page you if you're needed here."
"Oh Jac" he sighed as he sat beside the bed, brushing her auburn hair back from her face before taking her hand in his, kissing it softly. "Where did we go wrong Jac, how did we mess up this much?" He sighed sadly and kissed her hand again before laying it back on the bed, sitting beside her, waiting for her to wake.
And if the night's a lonely time for you,
Just listen to the words I gave to you,
Let the song of ours play one more time
Somewhere, somehow,
"I didn't. . ."Jac trailed off, "They wouldn't leave me alone, they kept ringing me, leaving messages on my answer phone, the kid even turned up on my doorstep. I had to get away" Joseph sighed sadly, "But going out in this weather, like you did." "I'm sorry" her eyes filled up with tears as she continued, "Sorry I'm not strong enough to face my problems, that I always run away, making things worse in the process". "Hey". Joseph took her hand in his squeezing it softly, "you shouldn't even be here" she told him, wiping her tears away with the back of her left hand, but not taking her right from Joseph's grasp." "Why?" "What do you mean why? Do you not remember what I did?" Joseph shrugged, "maybe you're not the only one that always screws up" Jac looked puzzled. "You and my father, Faye and Linden, My first girlfriend and my brother". She couldn't look him in the eye. "I'm sorry" "It's okay" "No" she said angrily, "I fucked up, I always do. I'm such a screw up even my own mother doesn't want to know me. When I was a kid, she came back from India. A week after my birthday. She stayed for four days, and when she went she took the £70 I'd been given for my birthday, and the lousy tape player she'd bought me. She only came back now because she wanted a bloody kidney and her other daughter wasn't old enough to give her one. I might take out an advert in a national news paper offering the rest of my organs, I bet Mrs Beauchamp could give my heart to someone." She paused momentarily, "Oh wait, I forgot, I haven't got one. I'm such a cruel heartless bitch, I slept with my boyfriend's father because I thought it'd get me a promotion. I failed to see that the man I betrayed was the best thing that had ever happened to me, that ever will happen to me, that he actually cared about me and didn't just want me for my birthday money, he wasn't just in it for the sex, and he certainly wasn't in it for my internal organs, but yet again Jac Naylor screwed it up". Joseph saw her struggling for breath and held the oxygen mask over her face, until her sats rose and she was breathing easier.
"Jac, don't do this to yourself" "What?" she asked snappily, "admit how much of a failure I am. That I am unable to hold down any sort of relationship, even with my own mother? You were lucky Joseph, you got out, you might as well leave now. All I'll do is break you again." She took pulled her hand from his and rolled onto her side away from him, wincing as she leant on her stitches.
And if you're there, and you care,
You will get a million kisses from me
Somewhere, somehow
Joseph didn't leave. Instead he moved to sit on the bed, tucking a strand of Jac's hair behind her ear, "What you said when we were trapped in the theatre." He asked slowly. "Did you mean it?". Jac didn't answer as she allowed tears to run silently down her cheeks. "Please Jac". She wanted to tell him it wasn't, that she'd just said it to try and get between him and Faye, she wanted to push him away so she didn't have the chance to mess his life up again. But she couldn't lie to him. "There's been no one else" she said quietly, "since we . . . I haven't. . ." Joseph didn't tell her he'd seen the picture of her and Doctor Valentine, instead helping her move into a more comfortable position, before sitting on the bed beside her, taking her hands in his. "Why are you here Joseph?" She asked quietly, "why are you doing this?" Joseph said nothing, instead summoning all the courage he had in his body to place his index finger on Jac's lips, silencing her before leaning forwards and brushing his lips against hers.
Elliot smiled as he checked on Jac after his shift, only to find her sleeping peacefully as she sat on the bed, Joseph sat beside her, her head on his shoulder, his arm around her waist. He checked Jac's notes before leaving quietly, he'd ring Joseph later to find out how Jac was.
"Morning". Jac smiled sleepily at Joseph as he leant down to kiss her forehead, "morning." "How are you feeling?" Jac nodded, "I'm okay". Joseph smiled, "I've spoken to Michael. He says he's willing to discharge you if you promise to rest at home". Jac nodded and smiled, "thank you." "I was wondering, if you'd like to stay with me for a while, just until you're back on your feet. Jac shook her head, speaking quickly as she saw Joseph's face fall. "No, no, I mean, I don't want to stay with you, I mean it's where you lived with Faye, it wouldn't be right." "right, okay" Joseph said quietly, h knew she was trying push him away. "You're welcome to come and stay with me though, I mean if you want to?" Jac said quietly. Joseph smiled, "okay" he said softly, "I'd like that"
And if you feel like I feel
Love cuts the deepest part of me
Somewhere, somehow
"Comfy?" Joseph asked as Jac leant back against the pillows he'd placed behind her. She nodded and smiled, "thanks" "no problem, can I get you anything? A drink, something to eat?" Jac yawned and shook her head, "I'm fine thank you" Joseph nodded, "well if you change your mind." "I think I want to sleep for a bit, those hospital beds aren't the most comfortable things" Joseph smiled sadly, "you have spent a lot of time in them recently. Do you want me to leave you in peace?"She shook her head, "I'd rather you stayed." She admitted quietly, still not used to sharing her feelings with someone else. Joseph smiled and stood from the bed, removing his trousers before slipping under the covers, holding Jac close as she closed her eyes.
"Joseph" she said quietly a while later, startling him as he thought she was asleep. "Yeah" "What. What do we do now?"Joseph sighed, "I don't know. What do you want to happen?" "I want you to be happy" she sighed sadly. "And I want you to be happy" The pair were silent for a moment before Joseph spoke again, "do you think we could be happy together?". He heard Jac sigh, before she rolled over to face him, her hands resting on his chest. "How can you think about us being a couple again after everything I did to you?" Joseph shrugged, "I don't know, I know it's wrong, but I can't stop thinking about you even when I was with Faye, some nights..." He paused and took a deep breath, "some nights Faye and I would, you know, and the only way I could..." He closed his eyes, never having imagined that he'd admit this to anyone, "The only way I could enjoy it was to close my eyes and pretend she was you." Jac sighed, "I'm sorry" "Why?" "If it wasn't for me, you and Faye would..." Joseph shook his head, "Faye and I would never have worked out, you didn't make her kiss Linden on our wedding day. In fact, you were the only one that tried to warn me about her. He lifted her chin from his chest, noticing her eyes were full of tears. "Surely everyone deserves a second chance? Even you." Jac shrugged. "I won't force you" Joseph said softly, "but we can take it slowly, one day at a time if we need to, if you want to". "What will people say?" Joseph shrugged. "I don't know and I don't care, if we do this it's me and you, against the world if we need to be. I just want you to be happy Jac, and if you're happy who cares what the likes of Donna Jackson are saying about us?" Jac shrugged and leant up to kiss Joseph softly. She wasn't going to screw it up this time. He wouldn't let her. Jac Naylor wouldn't ever be alone again
Let the song of ours play one more time
Somewhere, Somehow.