It's a long climb up...well not really, only three flights. Then you're greeted by a door, open it, and you're on top of the world, well at least the roof. One more concert for a school dance down. I should be happy; it was probably the best, and longest, performance Gravity 5 has ever put on. Homecoming, it should be a happy time. I even ended up having Zander ask me to accompany him as his date. I should be thrilled, but I'm not. Seeing Nelson with her just crushed me. Her beautiful blonde hair, and strange, but flawless laughing. That stupid deep blue dress, I swore under my breath every time I caught a glance at her.
Silly Stevie, she would never like you. I knew this had to be the truth. Grace King, the most gorgeous girl in the entire school, maybe even the world, why would she like some low life like Stevie Baskara? That question probably crossed my mind a million times in the past hour.
I inched closer to the side of the building. The dance was nearing its end, and I had slipped away from Zander, and the rest of the students nearby. That was twenty minutes ago. By now I'm sure someone has noticed.
Looking down at my phone, I skimmed the text message I had written out only minutes before. It was six pages long and was going to be sent to everyone from school, my brothers, and my parents. After months of this suffocating life, I was ready to end everything. I don't know what the final straw was, but I had to convince myself it wasn't something stupid.
No one ever saw the warning signs, I was slowly pulling away, making excuses not to hang out with the band. Skipping practice. Like everyone always says, who needs a bass player? They are useless anyway.
Gripping my phone, I took another step closer to the end of the roof. Which meant another step closer to the end of me. Why was I sad? There's many factors. The cruel words always said to me, how I always feel worthless... the only thing that ever made me really smile, a real smile was Grace. I have to admit, I felt jealous of Nelson, and...and Molly. No matter how much I don't want to.
Suicide is the cowards way out. Well I guess I'm a lion then. If only I had courage. A deep breath, and another step. I was only five feet away now. A sudden pain struck me, and I almost got knocked off my feet. Who was I hurting? What about my friends? Oh they will get over it. I had to be convinced of this. A bass player isn't hard to replace anyway. The band with thrive.
After the feeling of guilt passed, I took another step. Four feet away. Looking down, I frowned at my sea green dress. Someone like me doesn't deserve something to beautiful. I wanted to scream in anger, but I held it in. Just like my urge to rip this dress off. It felt like I was being mocked.
A sudden gust of wind blew, and my eyes went dry. The burning feel passed after a few seconds, but I was left with watery eyes.
Two more steps forward. Only one more to go. At this point, I knew I should look at my phone again. Time to send the horrid message. My final goodbyes. My thumb hovered over the send button. It took a minute before I could actually make contact with the button. After a deep breath, I knew it was time. my thumb starting pressing against the green button.
Something made it stop though. It was a voice. A soft, perky, innocent voice. It could only belong to one person. My mind took over, not letting me turn around, but again I heard it. This time more demanding.
"Stevie." I wanted to ignore the voice so bad. Don't turn around. I didn't want to, but I found myself slowly turning my back to the empty air I'm about to fall from.
Gulping, I barely whispered "Grace."
"What are you doing Stevie?" Her eyes were wide. God they were so beautiful, and the moonlight was reflecting off of them.
"Why, I could ask the same thing. Why are you here Grace?" This time, my voice was a tiny bit louder, but ten times more shaky.
"Well, I was coming up here to...never mind. Why are you so close to the edge?" There was a lot of worry in the blonde girl's voice.
Was I really going to do this in front of her? The answer was yes. Before she could say anything. Quickly, I let my right foot slide behind, and I could feel the ground disappear.
At this point everything went in slow motion. I still had control of whether I would fall or not, but Grace plunged forward, taking a hold of my hand. It was the one with my phone in it, so that came flying out. She gave a hard yank, which felt like my arm was going to pop out of its socket.
There was a scream somewhere in there, but I'm not quite sure where. All I know was I was on the roof, being pinned by the one girl I would like to tell how I felt. How I loved her, even though I knew she never would feel the same.
"Get off of me Grace!" I started coughing when I spoke, her left knee was pressing against my chest. I struggled to get free, but the Blonde Perf was surprisingly strong.
She shook her head, and I felt something wet hit my cheek. Grace was crying. "Why would you ever try that Stevie?! Why would you want to fall!"
"I want to die Grace. Check my phone, read the message!" I never did send that text, but it did include many things. Including my feelings for her.
"I'm not falling for that Stevie. WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO HURT ME LIKE THAT? DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND YOU'RE A WONDERFUL HUMAN? YOU'RE FUNNY, AND ARE SWEET. Not to mention you can sing."
That took me by surprise, no one had ever truly heard me sing. I was always alone. There was a hesitation before I spoke up. "When did you..."
"After you were kicked out of the Perfs. That dance, when you stayed behind to clean up and work on something. I left my purse, and you were alone in the gym. I was going to say something, but your voice...it was...so...I was just captivated. And that was the moment when I knew...nevermind." her voice trailed off.
At this point she had my attention. "Knew what?"
Grace took her weight off of me and got up. "You asked why I was up here. Well Molly yelled at me again. Apparently my dress was too similar to her's."
There was a long pause, I could see the tears coming down her face. It wasn't the brightest out, but I could still see her eyes going red.
I stood up, and did something I had never done before. I hugged Grace. "It's okay Grace." My grip tightened on her. The feeling of holding this girl was the best feeling ever, I didn't want to let go. But I did.
I knew she was distracted, and it was my chance. Quickly, I turned to the ledge, but Grace was too fast. She had a hold on my waist.
"At that moment I knew I wanted you."
My entire mind shut down. My body went limp. It took a good minute or two before I regained control. "What?"
Grace loosened her hold on me. "Stevie, don't do this. You are a fantastic human. You're beautiful, and just so down to earth. Don't do this to yourself. I want to be with you, and I know you probably don't want the same thing. Just listen to me Stevie. I'll be the voice of reason for you. Just listen to me."
I turned, and looked directly into Grace's eyes. "Why are you up here Grace?"
A frown formed on her face, like everything she just said was pointless. But I had a feeling it was from what her answer was going to be.
"The same reason you're up here." The words were emotionless.
Chills ran down my back. I was crushed. I wanted to say "no", but I'm not sure it ever came out. I leaned forward, back to Grace, and I held on to her for the longest time.
Grace was the first to pull away. "Stevie..." she never got a chance to finish, I pulled her in again, but this time she didn't go for a hug.
God, her lips were so warm. I don't think I had ever felt happier before in my life. So soft... that was all I could think.
My grip tightened even more, I was never going to let her go. Not now. Not ever.
When Grace pulled away again, I wanted to move closer. I realized she couldn't breathe because of the death grip I had on her. I mumbled sorry, but I don't think she heard. The blonde girl just put her hands on my cheeks, that had to be a burning red in color, and she moved in for another kiss.
I realized, somehow between thinking about Grace, and thinking about Grace, that we were only a couple feet from the edge. I started to slowly trying to move us closer to middle of the open area. Of course, this was while not letting go, or moving from her. So the plan didn't work all that well. Probably got about ten feet before we tripped, and landed on the ground.
I ended up landing on Grace, but I rolled off of her, and there was a short moment where were separated.
I was pinned down again though, like I was before. My arms couldn't move, but this time I didn't mind. Grace was against me, and her lips were again pressed on mine.
Any thoughts of suicide where gone And Grace was to blame. She really was the voice of reason. And I wanted to call her mine for the rest of my life.