The ballad of Salad (fingers)
Browsing deviantart, wrote this. Don't think I've captured the speech of Salad fingers well enough, But this chapter is more about before the war
My family were sitting
In our queer old fam'ly home
When a rather strange announcement
Came upon the radio
They said 'The great war now is here'
'The great war has begun'
And everyone was cheering
Since they thought it would be fun
My little brother Kenneth
Signed up for a dare
He said that it was nothing but
I saw that he was scared
They packed him as a private
And off the fellow went,
I missed rather terribly
(He forgot to take his tent)
My father signed for soldiering
My mother, the factory
I wanted to help too
But they said it was not for me
For many lonely hours
I would sit all on my own
In the safe old safety cupboard
Of our queer old fam'ly home.
And for safety reasons
(that I really do not know)
They'd disconnect the lighting,
And our dusty telephone.
I'd pretend that I'd call Kenneth
'How's the war being to you?'
And we'd both eat admiral's pie
With a tasty rusty spoon.
My little sister bordois
Would always play outside
My parents called it 'dangerous'
But really, it was fine.
My lovely girlfriend Marjory
Was very comforting
She'd give me her shoulder
When I started my crying
I hoped things could be still the same
Through, after, the war.
She was the only one for me
(Not felt like this before)
My old good pal Charlie
Was busy up in arms
I'd listen many times a day
To see he'd got no harm.
Things were rather like that
They were odd,
I still had spoons,
And things would then be normal (right?)
It would be over soon.