WHEN I SAW HER STANDING THERE
Rebecca's POV
Sam ran ahead of me into the hospital room. He was excited to see his Daddy and also to check that nobody had rubbed off the 'I love dad' that he'd written on Charles's arm before he went into surgery.
In the room was a young woman in army fatigues. She must have felt ill at ease because she felt the need to leave.
After a slight interaction with Sam she left.
Hearing the word 'Ditto' and tone in which it was said, I turned to look at Charles, his eyes following her as she left the room, with such hunger in them.
We'd met at university and married soon after graduating. Charles went to join the army, as it had been his wish all along and did his Officer training at Sandhurst, whilst I set up home just outside Bath. We'd decided to create a base there, as it was near to both our parents and as we were planning on having a family, it seemed the sensible thing to do.
After Sandhurst, Charles was posted to Bulford, near Salisbury so could be home every evening unless he was on exercises. Life seemed wonderful and after 3 years I fell pregnant. We were ecstatic and then the bombshell happened, the army were sending Charles to Afghanistan.
Standing at Brize Norton that first time, I was scared. Here I was 4 months pregnant and my husband was off to a war zone. I'd tried to hold it together but the tears would not stop falling. Each day I waited for the post to arrive, hoping to get a letter and once a week without fail it would land on the mat.
He'd describe the landscape, people and all manner of things in these letters and with each one I could feel him drifting farther away from me.
I'd kept him up to date on the pregnancy, sending copies of scans and telling him that his child was an active little thing. I'd gone into labour 2 months before he was due home and Samuel Matthew James came into the world in the early hours of the morning, kicking and screaming.
Through the army we'd managed to get a message to Camp Bastion to inform Lieutenant James on the arrival of his son. I finally got to speak to Charles 3 days later to tell him all about this little bundle of joy.
Charles came home from that first tour 2 months later and I thought that Sam would have changed his mind about life in the army. How wrong I was. It only seemed to strengthen his resolve about how he was making the world a safer place for our son to grow up in. That was when the arguments started, neither one of us prepared to compromise.
Luckily Charles had been posted back to Bulford and I thought life could settle as he was based in the UK, and then he received orders that he was being posted back to Afghanistan.
These arguments were vicious, Sam was barely a year old and became quite fractious as he could feel the tension.
I decided to issue an ultimatum, the army or me, never thinking for one moment that I'd lose. Once again, how wrong I was. I'd thought that first tour would have satisfied him, but it only went to prove how unsuited we were.
He left to go on the second tour and I thought I'd be able to change. Who was I kidding. I was only delaying the inevitable. We ha drifted so far apart and the only thing we had in common was Sam.
Don't get me wrong, Charles dotes on Sam and is a wonderful father, just not the sort of husband I wanted him to be.
When Charles came home from his second tour, I broached the idea of a separation. I think it was a relief to him and he decided to stay at Barracks or his parents, only coming to the house to see Sam.
Once we had decided to separate we probably were more civil to each other. Not long after Charles's return he was promoted to Captain and with the new rank came the new posting – Afghanistan, tour 3.
There was no point in even arguing anymore and we both decided to divorce.
That 3rd tour was horrific. Charles came back a totally different man. I found out later that he'd lost a young man from his section. I couldn't and to be honest still can't understand what he went through.
He'd been back from his 3rd tour about 6 months when the divorce was finalised. There were still things to be sorted, the house for one, but since he'd not lived there since the separation, not many of his things remained.
So, once again last October he left for his fourth tour, telling me just to sort out any remaining items however I wanted them.
So, here we are. It seems that I'm still down as the next of kinto contact in case of emergency, but, seeing the look on his face at the yong lady who just left the room, that will be changing pretty soon.
Maybe she will understand him better than I ever did and for that I wish her well.