Well, I just registered with ffn, and I thought I'd start off with a humor fic.
Harry Potter and the Belching Potion
Harry and Ron trudged down the hall away from Snape's dungeons one wary January day.
"I can't believe we have to invent our own potion!" Ron lamented. "I can't even made a Shrinking Solution from scratch!"
"Yeah, I know," Harry replied, thinking of their winter exams. Ron's potion was so disastrous, Snape had passed him simply to get him out of that class.
"I mean, I have no idea how those potions work, I just throw them together and hope for the best!" Ron went on about their latest impossible assignment from their evil potions master. Harry, however, had a plan...
~*~*~
"Hermi, why won't you help us?" Harry pleaded. "All we need is some anti-acid from the hospital wing!"
"How do you even know they have it?" Hermione asked, astounded that Harry and Ron had come up with such a plan. "And how would I be able to get it?"
"We know they have it because after Fred slipped Draco that acid pop, he had to take one," Ron replied.
"And, you've snuck in there before, like to get...I don't know...Midol, maybe?" Hermione's face went red. "How would you know about that?" she said hotly. "And it was for Parvati, anyway!"
"Suuuuuure...anyhow, you've got to help us! This potion is due tomorrow!" Harry cried." Ok, ok, just don't tell anyone about...you know..." Hermione was always glad to help her friends, she just didn't always like to show it
.~*~*~
"Are you ready, Ron?" Harry asked, as they stood up from their seats. Snape had asked them to present their potion to the class.
"I guess," he replied nervously. "As ready as I'll ever be." He picked up the ingredients to their "potion." The two walked to the front of the dungeon. Harry unloaded Ron's arms, slowly setting each item on the wooden table.
Thunk.
a plain, cardboard box.
Thunk.
a small pitcher of water.
Thud.
a rather large pitcher of bubbling brown stuff.
Harry and Ron were counting on the fact that Snape was a full-blooded wizard and wouldn't recognize the Muggle drink.
"We decided to make a potion to relieve gas. I doubt many of you have heard of these ingredients, as most have Muggle origin, yet this is a fully effective, magical potion," Harry said, as Ron began assembling the ingredients in order before a great cauldron.
"First, put in water, to dilute the other ingredients a bit. Without it, this potion is incredibly strong," Ron explained.
"Now, I'm going to add approximately twice as much carbonated corn syrup," Harry said, pouring the Pepsi into the cauldron. "Next is the most important part," he continued, opening the cardboard box. He carefully slipped it in, hoping no one would notice that it was just Alka-Seltzer. The "potion" immediately began to fizz.
"Now stir three times counter-clockwise with your wand, saying 'fizzywhiz' each time," Ron said, demonstrating.
"The potion must be drunk immediately, or else it loses potency. Any volunteers?" Harry said. "How about Draco Malfoy? I know he's full of hot air."
"Sure," Draco said, swaggering to the front of the room. "Like any potion made by Potty and the Weasel will work anyway." This brought forth a murmur of laughter from the Slytherins. Even Snape couldn't surpress a grin. Ron ladled out a cup of the potion and handed it to the smirking Malfoy. He downed the whole glass in one gulp, as Harry had predicted he would.
In a moment, Malfoy belched loudly. He turned bright red, and the Gryffindors, as well as several Slytherins burst out laughing. Eventually, the whole class was rolling on the floor, Snape included. Malfoy took his seat silently, his ears still red.
"Amazingly, your potion was effective," Snape said, recovering. "I hate to merit such behavior, however, so you shall both receive a detention, though you do get full marks.
~*~*~
That was my first ever HP fic. Hope you liked it! Maybe I'll do another one about their detention.