Back to Black
Hello everyone. So as you might have guessed I'm new to this, this being my first story.
It's not really like many other because it's not very emotional- more humorous if you would call it that. Although the beginning sounds that way its more of an upbeat, Carla Connor way to deal with Peter's affair...with strength, confidence and a little bit of revenge...
Embarrassingly I was inspired while listening to Billy Ocean's Love Really Hurts Without You and if you have heard it the story sort of matches the upbeat theme of the song. It's not something that'll make you cry, lets put it that way! Anyway I've babbled enough, any comments are really welcomed, critical, complementary or if you just want to give me a bit of advice on where to go, I'm happy to hear! Hope you enjoy! xxxxx
She had loved him so terribly much.
But it was not enough to forgive his wrongs. There was no replacement part for a broken heart. It was over and she knew it...as did he.
You see, love's a tricky business. Like wealth, all desire it, yet few can handle it. She was one of the rare few who could handle her thriving income, yet she was tight packed with the endless numbers who couldn't handle their feelings.
To any outsider, even with a perceptive view, she was the picturesque of strength: confident demeanor, feisty attitude, dirty laugh and a fierce glare. But Carla battled demons like no other. When alone, and only alone she would unleash them, let her brain think them and her mouth drown them out with a gold fish bowl of red wine. It was her rules that confined them when she was in public. It was her law that only allowed her to free them when she was in solitude.
But she had never been one to stay on the right side of the law.
Peter Barlow provoked her to commit an offence as she let him brake down her barriers and see her heart. Her for her. No one else. While engulfed in the safety blanket that was his arms,she cried endlessly night upon night until there was nothing left. Her demons had slowly faded to thin air and the space that they had left was given to thoughts of Peter. Glorious, tantalizing thoughts that warmed her ice heart. He softened her. Everything about her, inside and out. Seeing the world in light for the first time led her to change her black hair to a soft brown that softened her features. It led her to chat to her staff every day and grow to want children. It led her to the most content, completely wondrous time of her life and she loved him. She was in love with him. Then...
CRASH.
It hit her like a ton of bricks. He was no saint for he had sinned. He had sinned night after night that he spent with Tina. Betrayal is the most feared feeling, yet some cannot help but commit the offence.
1)Was it real? Was it really happening?
2)No it wasn't true. It couldn't be. If anything it was her fault
3)That bitch! That BITCH! I'll kill her!
4)How can I cope? I can't!
5)Help me. Please help me.
6)He did it. It was his fault, the whole affair.
The first six stages of acceptance. There was a seventh, but she would never reach it. She would never lead a normal life again. She just didn't know it then...
Her bag was packed and she left. She then arrived at the scene of her attack by the insufferable Frank. Her bag was unpacked and she stayed.
It needed cleaning and she needed to get that spider web from the bathroom door away but she merely stared at the insect dangling to and fro with silk on it's feet doing it's monotonous job. A bit like her line of work. She really was The Black Widow. Her red wine slid down her throat, as she unconsciously, yet automatically drew it to her lips again...again...again. Three bottles later and she herself was unconscious.
The pattern continued for days on end:
up, work, drink,bed,up, work, drink, bed. To the untrained eye, she was a hopeless case. But strangely, and quite subconsciously she knew what she was doing. She wasn't strong enough when she found out about it. Because you see, while with Peter she was drunk in love and she knew she had to sober up. The drinking was her flushing her body of any toxic feelings she had for him, numbing herself like anesthetic, toughening herself up for the storm that was brewing inside of her from the get go. She was ready then after weeks of seclusion.
She was ready to fight once again.