You got me sippin' on something
I can't compare to nothing
I've ever known, I'm hoping
That after this fever I'll survive
I know I'm acting a bit crazy
Strung out, a little bit hazy
Hand over heart, I'm praying
That I'm gonna make it out alive
Robin had been staring at the same painting for the last several hours. He didn't even know how he ended up in this room, but he did somehow end here when he allowed his thoughts to lead him. He followed his heart and it led him here. It was Regina's office from when she was mayor until everything changed dramatically. He closed his eyes and imagined her back in this place, the way her scent would linger over the paperwork and how she'd dust the painting frames with pride as they hanged gloriously for all the people in the town to see when they entered to discuss their fake issues with her. He sat down at the plush leather chair that was opposite her desk and could see the way she used to run the town, considering everything was the product of a curse she had took care of it well and then the papers of spells came to his eyes that was hidden under a few documents about the buildings. They were spells that he assumed would try awaken his Marion from her slumber. He knew how hard this had been for him and of course how much harder it had been on Regina. He had watched her go from feeling alone to finally feeling like she had something good in her life that didn't fear her or feel the need to leave anytime soon. And the second she felt safe and secure it was all ripped away from her quicker than she could disagree with it. He held so much guilt he had given her this false hope. He didn't want to leave her but he didn't see much choice. What sort of man would he have been if he didn't? this was his wife, he had vows, commitments that had sealed in front of God, those sort of commitments couldn't be broken easily. And then came the price of doing the right thing for the first time in his life. His whole life had been him disappointing everyone, being the bad guy, the one who stole to provide for himself despite others having next to nothing as well, it was only Marion who had made him begin to steal from those who could afford it. He had never considered this before he met her and that's what changed him. How could he walk away from the woman who made him the better him he was today?
He wiped the back of his hand against his forehead before standing abruptly up, he needed to get out of this place, the memories of Regina were beginning to tear the whole in his heart inches wider. He had been trying to forget her, to love his wife again but he couldn't. When he said it in his mind or out loud it didn't make sense. How could he not love his wife again? She had been the one to capture his heart first and make him the man he was today yet he couldn't find the love he once had with her. It was gone. It belonged to someone else. To the evil queen no less, but the biggest problem was he didn't view her as evil, he saw her as everything but that. She was so misunderstood and she needed someone like him to protect her and remind her daily how unique and special she was. Her past didn't define her. When they were together he used to tell her every single day how incredible she was and how beautiful she was, and every time she'd look at him like she didn't even know this to begin with. She honestly saw herself as the monster everyone portrayed her as. What kind of life was that?
He backed away from the room; the coldness was beginning to settle inside him, hitting his stomach with a thousand notches as they crushed and burned in the pitt. It was reality. He had finally said it and meant it. He loved Regina. He actually loved her. She was all he wanted and knew that with every beat of his heart. Her face captivated every thought in his brain, her breath against his neck he held her close whenever she felt scared or vulnerable. He knew right then he needed to be with her, he needed to hold her body against his and feel the connection he only felt when his skin touched hers. He needed her to know his heart could only love her and would only love her while she remained in his head and that wasn't something he was planning on stopping. He craved her attention and love. And he knew she felt the same way. The way she tried to avoid him proved that. He had watched her take the long way home to avoid him and now he understood. It was stop the heartache of seeing the other and knowing you can't go up to them and have them hold you tightly. He didn't care anymore he needed her and he would get her. whether he liked it or not she was his soul mate, the one who had made him love again and the one who took his love with full force and would forever have a hold tight of it.
The bed's getting cold and you're not here
The future that we hold is so unclear
But I'm not alive until you call
And I'll bet the odds against it all
Save your advice 'cause I won't hear
You might be right but I don't care
There's a million reasons why I should give you up
But the heart wants what it wants
The heart wants what it wants
Regina couldn't shake the tense vibe she felt, her chest had tightened and her breathing became sharp and sore to swallow. She crushed her back against he wall of the room and held her chest tightly. The tears began to slowly flow down her cheeks as the realisation settled in. a few hours ago she had told Robin to stop loving her, to leave her, to go after his wife who had come back from the dead after she was responsible for killing his first love. And now she was semi-dead again and she couldn't fix it. She couldn't' do anything. She was meant to be powerful, in destructive, and yet she couldn't give the man she loved the one thing he wanted off her. She threw her hands up in frustration she didn't care anymore, what was the point in having such a cruel past and being so wicked if her magic didn't actually help her when she really needed it, all of those poisons and curses before seemed meaningless right now in this second.
Another set of tears came falling down her cheeks; she furiously rubbed them away and began to mix the items in front of her while following the dusty book besides it. She had spent the last few days down here in this dark room trying to find a cure to the devastating curse put upon Marion. She knew it was only for Robin she was going to all this trouble and that troubled her enough in it's self. This was the woman standing in the way of her being with Robin and she was doing everything with her ability of witchcraft to save her life and the reason she was doing it was for love. She was doing it for the love she had for Robin. The side of her that loved him so much she couldn't stand him to be upset, she didn't want his son to grow up without a mom, but a mom who could actually make a difference in his life and who hadn't grown up as an evil being, someone who was pure just like Snow White and would teach the boy from right to wrong and know what that actually truly meant. She had tried to be different, Robin had taught her to be different but at times it didn't seem enough. His love was the only thing that had ever been enough for her. And now it was gone she felt lost and empty. A part of her felt torn and broken and it didn't seem repairable without him fixing it.
She carried on mixing the items til it began to bubble; she looked cautiously at the mixture in front of her and moved slowly away, these potions tended to explode or splat out chemicals that were harmful her way. As she closed in she noticed it turned green, this meant once again it wasn't powerful again to break the curse the snow queen had took upon Marion. She knew deep down her magic wouldn't be enough but that didn't stop her trying. She had to do this. Her determination to make a happy ending for herself was consuming her thoughts and corrupting her brain. She wanted Robin to be happy and have the happy ending if she could never have it. He deserved it so much and if she couldn't have him she wanted him to be at least loved someone the way she wanted to love him for the rest of his life.
She thought back to everything he had ever said to her like it was something in Henry's storybook. For the first time she had been given that sort of happy ending which would be written in there. She had found a prince charming that would love her unconditionally, she had his son who he trusted her to care for and mother when he lacked one and now it was all a lie, it was like a shameful regret she couldn't leave behind her. It was literally like someone tore the pages from the book and burnt them in front of her. They were only teasing her she would get the happy ending she deserved after all she had done for the last few years for the Charming's, Rumple etc.
In the last few months she didn't even recognise the woman staring back in the mirror, she hadn't changed her appearance or her brand of perfume, she still wore the same black trousers and lightly coloured shirts but still she looked different. She looked happy. She felt happy. She felt good. Her evil had seemed to disappear from her like a soul being released into the atmosphere. She had noticed this ever since Robin had entered her life. She had changed into this new person, for good she'd often whisper to herself wanting to cherish the happiness she now felt whenever she saw her reflection compared to the self loathing witch that shot back at her.
She was taken out of her daydream by the sound of footsteps in her space; she looked up in fear and saw Robin stood there. His chest was pounding obviously as he struggled to breathe and came crushing towards her body, she felt herself slowly back against the hard cold wall as his hands snaked around her body and held her securely that way no one else could. "I couldn't stay away Regina, I couldn't' do it" he released a single tear against her forehead.