…And then the elf climbed the tree and everyone was like – oh, right. Hi there, peoples! It's been while… again! So one night I was playing rollercoaster tycoon on the Clunker and my bro brings home this DVD that he bought 'cuz Jason at Gemini Jetpack (our local Anime-and-other-cool-stuff fix place/thing) said "It has lots of good one-liners". And thus began my love of an "INGENIOUS" nickelodeon cartoon called "Invader Zim". Later that night also caused me deep depression when I learned that Jhonen Vasquez pulled the plug on it after 27-some odd episodes. Myself, only having the first 9 episodes under my belt (and that way it will stay until the next DVD comes out; I refuse to download anything I can tangibly get my hands on) I'm not as learned as some of you peoples out there, so no attacking me if I mess something up, Kay? I'm no Rob Hummel (that dude's like, a god! Not as good as Jhonen, mind you…) but I'll try my hand at this…

Update! (08/13/4004): Added a title for this chapter, as well as changed some spelling errors that took me about 5-6 read-throughs to catch. How terrible of me --

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN INVADER ZIM, NOR DO I OWN ANYTHING INVADER ZIM-RELATED! (Although I do want a t-shirt or one of thems squeaky moose-es…)

Dib Snaps

Chapter 1: Ensnared

The simple serenity of the room was nearly overwhelming. Clearly, Ms. Bitters had the students either well trained, or heavily burdened with work. More likely, the latter was more relevant. What else was new? Zim tapped his fingers against his desk in boredom; it wasn't like this Irken Invader was about to write out some silly 300-word essay about why it was important to be orderly in class. Surely enough, chaos had erupted in class the previous day when a decoy-supply teacher was sent in for the whole day. It was no secret that this earth-wench who ruled the classroom had power, but none that could rein over the Irken elite!

On the other side of the room, Dib – Zim's arch nemesis – worked diligently away on his paper.

"The sooner I finish this, the sooner I can-" A ball of paper flew through the air from some random direction, and struck Dib in the back of his rather large head. Quiet snickering soon followed. Dib furiously clenched his fists, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath.

Somehow, I can't help but wonder, you miserable fool…

Then he exhaled.

"-get back to work, Dib. Just get back to work." He ignored the paper ball as it landed on the floor beside his desk with a quiet "tiff". Unfortunately, this noise was loud enough to grab the attention of the ominous Ms. Bitters.

"Dib," she hissed, "I don't recall saying that you could throw crumpled paper balls around the room, now did I?" Dib half-leered in surprise and annoyance as he replied defensively.

"But, it wasn't me! If it hit me, someone else threw it! It wouldn't make any sense if I were to throw-" Ms. Bitters' loud growl cut him off; the elderly woman didn't appreciate when her worthless students talked back at her.

"SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSCILENCE!" Her loud, maddening hiss echoed in the no longer silent classroom. Dib slouched in his chair weakly with worried eyes. Ms. Bitters had somehow moved from behind her desk to in front of Dib's, and was now looming over him like a dark spire of… doom. Her eyes darkly glared into Dib's.

"It seems that you are in need of a major attitude adjustment. Dib, go to the principle's office."

"WHAT?!?" Ms. Bitters growled loudly with her snake-like growl at Dib's objection. Her hands gripped the edge of his desk as she yelled in his face.

"NOW!!!" Dib sunk lower into his chair, cringing at the immense wave of sound. Ms. Bitters stood straight up, still gripping the edge of Dib's desk, and simply glared at him. Dib clambered up in his chair, and got out of his seat. Dejectedly, he walked towards the door.

Why it is that you even bother? I wonder…

Dib's shaking right hand landed on the solid, metal doorknob of the principal's office. From a nearby announcement system speaker, he heard the school bell ring for recess. Dib felt his stomach sink deeper into his guts. Forcefully, he clenched his shaking right hand onto the doorknob and turned it while pushing the door inward; his hand dropped loosely to his side. The door swung open as, in his mind, he could hear his dad now:

"The principle's office? Again? You know what that means, Dib. I told you that if you got sent there one more time, you'll be grounded for a month with no allowance, and no TV or other things like that."

Dib just couldn't take that. No Mysterious Mysteries? No computer? No spying on Zim while he ran off to destroy the world? No! He couldn't let that happen! But here he was… Enthusiasm deflated, he walked over to one of the chairs and sat down; eyes loosely gazing at the floor... The secretary, not having anything better to do, took instant notice of him.

"In trouble again, Dib?" She shook her head, "You problem child, you should take up a hobby. Like stargazing." Dib's eyes dully raised and met hers, but he said nothing.

What noble cause do you think that you are following?

The principal stuck his head out of the room at the end of the main office.

"Dib? You can come in here now." The boy hopped off his chair, and walked into the principal's office with the same dejected and depressed look on his face. He climbed up into one of the seats in front of the large desk, and looked at the principal with his still dull eyes. Somehow, Ms. Bitters had beaten him there, and stood at the portly man's right side, arms behind her back, still glaring. The principal began droning off into a long speech about respect for elders, superiors, and faculty members. Dib didn't really pay attention. He had heard it all before. So many times before; he knew when to say "yes sir" and when to say "no sir" as well as the occasional "I don't have a clue, sir." Something else was bothering him. Something that caused him to twitch, and in the back of his mind, it lingered. He couldn't pinpoint it, but there was a near-silent voice. And it was getting louder.

It's comic. You think just because you…

Dib looked around nervously. There was only the three of them in that room, and whoever it was certainly wasn't the principal, who had done nothing but babble and drone on since he sat down in this sorry room.

"Dib?"

Who was it there? Probably one of Zim's tricks. That alien menace; he had infiltrated Dib's body before, and deleted knowledge that would had quickly lead to his own capture. Oh, how Dib longed for that day. Standing proudly over an autopsy table with his enemy's organs neatly organized, tagged, and labeled.

"Dib…"

But it couldn't have possibly been Zim! The last time Zim had done such a thing, he didn't show up in class – and he was in class! Furthermore, it hadn't even been lunch yet. So, that means the possibility of this… thing… being Zim's fault was right out. So what did that leave?

"Dib!"

Feel that you're doing something for the…

"Huh?" Dib snapped out of his trance and looked at the principal with a confused look.

"Now that's the kind of thing I was just talking about, boy. You need some discipline, and you know we're certainly not going to be the ones to do it. I'll let you know now that we've called your father and-"

"You called my dad!?!"

"Yes, yes we did. I just said that, did I really have to repeat it? Jeeze…"

"Uh…"

"Now the first thing you need to do is apologize to Ms. Bitters and myself for your lack and incredibly short attention span. Then we need to have you checked out to see if you have A.D.D."

"Attention Deficit Disorder? I don't have Attention Deficit Disorder!"

"Sure you don't, now apologize!"

"I…" Dib lowered his head, hair spike dropping down in front of his face.

Benefit of others, how well does that play when…

"I…" His voice seemed to get weaker and quieter with each passing word.

There's no one there to appreciate your work and…

"I…" The principal was getting annoyed.

"It's not a hard thing to do, boy! Spit it out!"

There's nothing left for you but…

"…Insanity…" The principal leaned over on his desk, not sure what it was that the boy just said.

"Huh? What was that boy? Speak up!" Dib slowly looked up; a strange and completely different sort of fire was in his eyes. However, the simpleton of a principal was too laid back to notice. He leaned forward as he spoke slightly louder.

"Insanity…"

"I don't understand a word you're saying, boy!" Dib jumped out of his chair and turned towards the door. "You're not done here, Dib! Back in your seat!!!" The principal fumed at him. Dib left the room without turning around or saying a word. The principal became furious. "GET BACK HERE NOW!!!" Ms. Bitters looked at him seriously.

"Now do you see what kind of behavior I have to put up with on a daily basis?"

------------------------------------------

Dib casually walked out of the school, the hall monitor chasing after him screaming at the top of his lungs for him to come back "or else".

"Or else what? You'll give me a ticket? Ignorant hall monitor…" Dib suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder, and half turned around. The hall monitor gripped his beloved trench coat threateningly. Dib's visible eye glared at the hall monitor coldly.

"Unhand me, fool." The hall monitor looked at Dib weirdly. Everyone in the school knew Dib's mild, although dubbed "crazy" demeanor, but this wasn't it.

"You can't leave skool grounds, Dib. You know the rules." The scene, which was following the event in the classroom, caused some attention from the skoolchildren.

"And what if I do?"

"You can't!" Dib smirked in an eerie and dark way that sent chills down the hall monitor's spine. The atmosphere felt different around this Dib, and the hall monitor could only wonder what had possibly gotten into him.

"Who's going to stop me? Hmm?" The hall monitor gripped his trench coat harder. Dib laughed slightly. "Very well then. You live and learn, but this way, for you…" Dib laid his right hand on the hall monitor's gripping hand and with one swift movement, grabbed his wrist and moved it in such a way that a loud CRACK could be heard. With a cry of pain and a look of terror, the hall monitor recoiled several steps, cradling his now broken wrist. Dib smirked with a look of… enjoyment? The onlookers couldn't believe it. The entire playground became dead silent. "…is the hard way." Dib finished. "Now, the next time you interfere, I'll break a few other things. And trust me," he turned around and resumed walking away from the skool, "you will beg for death before I am finished."

From a distance, Zim had seen the entire thing; the hall monitor's yelling had interrupted everything that was happening in the skoolyard, and in turn, Zim's research on human worm-child behavior. He watched his nemesis' antics with great worry and surprise.

"That couldn't possibly have been my sworn enemy, Dib. He was too violent, too… evil… What kind of torture did he endure at this prince-e-pal's office to make him turn into this?" Dib had never been that violent, let alone enjoy seeing someone else in pain – that wasn't his room with a moose. Zim wondered about what this 'prince-e-pal' creature could do to humans to make them change so much, and, more importantly, what his enemy-become-enemy-er was up to. In an instant, Zim's spider legs grew out of his Pak, carried him over the link fence, and retracted back into his Pak.

"I must find out what Dib is up to…" He hurried off into the direction that Dib had gone off into… towards the dreaded city downtown.

End Chapter 1

So, whad'ja think? Not exactly as violent as I had first envisioned it, but still. Close enough. I promise things will most likely get more graphic next chapter. This isn't my normal writing style – those few of you who do know me know me for my humor writing (which this clearly isn't) keep calm. I'll probably do some comic stuff later on. However, I kinda wanted to do some sort of manic-depressive sort of violent story. Hope you liked it. Overall, let me know what you people think.