Title: And Then…
Characters: Spike/Buffy
Artwork: kazzy-cee
"Oh, come on Spike. I'm in my new little black dress and you're all suited up in a suit. I don't want to go down a dark, dirty alley even if it's for your magic tongue to work its mojo. I want to party."
"Slayer, its Beverly Hills for fucks sake. Even the dirt is more than we can afford. Live a little. Fuck. I can't believe you're knocking back my well known talents for pussy eatin' 'cos of a dress."
"God, Spike. Will you never stop with the oink, oink behaviour?'
Her hand flew to his mouth as he started to open it.
"And if you say 'Make me', I swear to god I will bust your nose."
He started to speak and she shot in before a word left his mouth.
"No going down for a week!"
The bottom lip came out and a raspy tongue licked her palm.
"Dirty pool, Spike. You know I can't resist that lip of yours. No fair." She stamped her elegantly shod foot, careful not to damage the heel of her knock off Jimmy Choos.
"You're all tense, luv. Let me help you relax, soothe the nerves and then we'll make our grand entrance. Shock all those Beverly Hills wives. Show 'em what real beauty and talent looks like."
The lip jutted out further and the blue eyes peered out under long, dark, batting lashes. Oh god, she couldn't resist the triple whammy of Spike lips, lashes and sweet words. She took her hand from his mouth and stretched to replace it with her lips, wrapping her arms around his neck and head. His hands cupped her bottom and lifted her to him.
She sighed and let him step her back into the alley beside the swank hotel they'd been heading for. She was nervous thinking about all the rich folks that would be at the Mayor's cocktail party. And the rich bitches in their diamonds, fake boobs, plastic faces and snooty manners. She could use some of Spike's calming techniques right about now.
And then someone, or something, knocked into them, almost bowling them over. They jumped apart, crouched ready to defend themselves against whatever.
"What the…" they chimed in unison staring at the body lying stretched out before them.
"Oh dear. Oh dear."
The creature, because it sure wasn't human, struggled to sit up while clutching desperately at something in its hands.
"Praise to the great Lothar, it didn't break." The whatever it was looked up at them. "Clumsy humans, you should watch where you're going. It could have broken and then you'd have been sorry."
"Well, pardon us, mate, but you barrelled into us! Was just seeing to my lady here, all nice and slow and next thing you nearly knock us arse over tit. What's your bloody hurry anyway? Someone chasing you?"
"As a matter of fact, yes, though I'm not sure that is any of your business, vampire." The creature sniffed in obvious disapproval.
"Oi, watch how you talk to me, mate. Like as not want to knock your head off using that tone. Think the Slayer might want to straighten you out as well." Spike glared at the figure sitting on the alley floor. He was no bigger than a child of ten or so, with a shock of white hair and the most brilliant orange skin.
"The Slayer. She is the Slayer?" He turned his attention to Buffy. "You are the Slayer?"
"Well yeah. One of them anyway."
"Don't be modest pet. This here is the one and only original real deal."
The little creature got to his feet and bowed to Buffy before turning to Spike.
"Then you must be the legendary consort to the Slayer, William the Bloody, Slayer of Slayers, now referred to as Layer of…"
"Finish that sentence and you'll be a dead… whatever the heck you are," Spike growled through a mouthful of emerging fangs.
"Spike! Stop frightening the little… ah who did you say you are?"
"I am Ambassador Juno from the dimension of Loth and I wish to present to you my lady, Liana." He bowed low to Buffy and Spike before gesturing to a figure in the shadows behind him. "We seek the aid of the Vampire Slayer of Earth in a matter of utmost importance and delicacy."
"I guess that would be me, as I think we've already established. It's Buffy, Buffy Summers. Spike is my partner and we're on our way to a cool party so tell me what's the what in as few words as possible, Mr ambassador." Buffy smiled down at the little Lothian.
"I am to deliver into your safe keeping the Orb of Loth. Our future rests with this and our enemies would destroy it," came a sultry voice from the shadowed figure.
"Oh, come on. Surely you guys have your own police or something to take care of your own crown jewels. And how about you step out into the light, Miss Liana so we can see who we're dealing with."
And then….
"Geez Spike, I can't believe you fell for the 'Please help us by keeping our round sparkly orb thingy safe from the bad people', just because some pretty, skanky ho in a hardly there skanky ho outfit that let her big breasts practically wave in the wind, batted her eyes at you."
"Oooo, green's not a good colour on you, Slayer."
"I am not jealous, you bleached air head! I'm serious. You don't even know what that thing is or where it's been or what it does, but old Princess Leelee drops a smile in your direction and you're all 'Sure we'll take care of that for you. Anything else we can do for you. Maybe a quick shag...' ."
"You know damn well I'd never shag another woman. You're my gal and I'm a one-woman man. Can't help noticing a pretty woman though. I'm male. It's what we do. I don't say anything when you and Dawn are busy drooling over some actor boy or those boy band singers you're always talking about."
"Yeah, yeah. Okay. Seriously though, what are we going to do with this shiny bauble, Spike?"
"We only have to keep it until midnight. That's what Liana said. So we just stash it somewhere here, maybe the cloak room with our coats and party like we planned to. On the stroke of midnight Liana and Loth come get their shiny orb and you and I snog our brains out on the terrace under the full moon. Just like we planned."
Buffy looked out through the open glass doors to the softly lit terrace. It did look beautiful with the palms, the clusters of inviting seating, the bright light of LA spreading out into the distance.
"What could go wrong…."
Her hand shot up too late to stop Spike uttering the fate laden words. She stomped her foot in annoyance.
"Damn it, Spike. Now you've jinxed the whole night. You know we never say those words. Never!"
"Come on, Slayer. We're on top of the world tonight. Let me help you outta that coat so we can give it to this lovely young lady to look after, along with our special crystal ball, while we dance the night away."
And then…
"Look at my dress, Spike. Just look at it. This costs me two weeks' salary. Two whole weeks and its ruined. My hair," both hands went to her head, pushing, pulling, trying to tame her tangled waves and curls, "my hair is a mess. It took hours at the hair dresser and now it's full of gunk!. Your tux is ripped and my shoes are totally beyond resurrection." Her bottom lipped trembled. "We didn't even get to finish one dance."
"Hey now, love. It's not that bad. You'd make sack cloth and ashes look grand. And we did have a dance, a glorious dance indeed. God, I'm so pumped I could shag you into the floor right where you're standing. Bugger the audience." They both looked over to the cowering party guests. "You were mesmerising, love. Poetry in motion as always. My beautiful, terrifying girl."
His hand reached up and removed a piece of plaster from her locks. She looked up at him and a tiny smile lit her lips. Her hands went to his shock of white and dragged a piece of fern from the freed curls. She loved his hair when it was free of gel.
"This is so your fault you big doufous. I can't believe you just fell for some random story from some random demon chic. How do we know whose side is right? These guys look just like that ambassador guy. We might have started the next apocalypse."
"Course Liana is on the side of right. She's their princess and the bad demons want to marry her off to the nasty leader. You heard her. Sides, just some broken chairs and such and a couple demon bodies. No innocents were harmed. No big."
Buffy looked around the once elegant room, now a scene of mass destruction with ugly, orange demon carcasses dotted amidst the wreckage of furniture, plants and decorations. Their fellow party goers were squashed into one corner of the room looking horrified and scared.
"God, the mayor is never going to give us the funding for the extensions to the compound now," Buffy muttered to herself.
"At least we got to nosh before the fun began. Mighty fine menu it was too." His hands were now on her face, one gently ghosting a bruise on her left cheek, the other, just as gently, wiping the blood from a cut under her right eye.
"Don't you dare put those fingers in your mouth, Spike. We don't do that in company, remember?"
"Course I remember. Sides, you know I vamped out there when we were fighting so the humans would already know what I am, if any of them were looking." He pouted as he wiped his hand on his coat.
Oh god, now she wanted to bite that lip. Stupid, sexy vampire. Her stupid, sexy vampire. Who she was so going to punish later for getting them into this mess. Maybe there could be oil.
"Yeah well putting your game face on and sucking my blood off your fingers are two totally different things and you know it. No need to advertise what we are to anyone."
"Luv, I think that ships sailed. Those folks are looking just as scared of us as of the the orange piles of goo on the floor."
Spike leant towards his slayer's very biteable lower lip, his tongue already poking out between his lips. She was gorgeous and she was his. That glower was just a ruse. She was hot to trot. His nose told him so. The humans were about to witness how the not so human celebrated a victory.
The room began to fill with a bright light streaming through the doors which opened to the terrace. The terrace they'd planned to be snogging on later. Now the outlines of several figures stood amongst the wreckage of plants and furniture, drawing the attention of Spike and Buffy.
"Bugger."
And then….
"Who'd a thunk this evening would have turned out the way it did." Buffy was walking beside Spike, her hand in his, swinging them both as they walked along the darkened street. "Can't believe we're going to get a medal for stopping an apocalypse. I mean wow, we were just doing our job."
"Your job, slayer. Still a vampire here. Still the big bad."
"Oh, please. The baddest thing you do is gel your hair flat like a helmet and try to feel me up in public."
"Oi! Still evil, you know. Can bite anyone I want. Drain them dry as the Sahara."
Buffy stopped, pulling him to a halt. She lifted her brows in that way she had.
"Yeah, okay. Wouldn't. Not even if they deserved it. But, I could." He pouted.
"God. Come on Spike. You've been on the side of right for ever now. Just accept it. You're one of the good guys now. What was it the ambassador called you? 'Legendary consort to the slayer."
"Yeah. He was also gonna call me somethin' else if you remember rightly." His trade mark smirk lit his face.
Buffy smiled.
"As long as there is only one slayer you're laying, nothing evil there."
She stood on tiptoes to reach his lips. He bent to meet her half way and their arms tangled around each other as the kiss deepened and other things began to rise.
"Get a room you two!"
They broke the kiss to turn and look at the snotty nosed teenager who'd called out across the street.
"You're old enough to be my parents! Bloody gross trying to make out in public like that."
A low growl started to rumble through Spike and Buffy grabbed his arms.
"Spike," she hissed, "behave. It's just some stupid kid. Ignore him. We're almost home and then we'll see how bad you can be. There could be handcuffs. 'Kay?" She smiled seductively into his blue, blue eyes.
"You know just how to distract a vamp bent on vengeance, don't you, Slayer?"
"Ought to by now," she whispered to herself.
"Come on then, Slayer. Got some celebrating to do. We saved a world. The mayor's so grateful he's gonna give the slayers their dough and, we get to be celebrated as heroes. Mighty fine end to the night, I'm thinking."
"Yeah. I guess. Though I would have liked to have at least got one dance in my new dress, before the bad guys turned up to snatch the glowy thingy."
"You were the belle of the ball, Buffy. Prettiest girl there and all mine."
They turned, once again holding hands and walked towards where they'd parked their car.
"That reminds me, Spike. What's with the letting that skanky ho mack on you like that when you handed back their orb? I mean they knew you were my consort. Doesn't that mean hands off?"
"Come on, Slayer. She was just bestowing a royal kiss on the handsome hero. Totally normal and above board."
"The way I see it, the big bad has been playing around and I think he needs to be punished."
Spiked stopped, his hand pulling Buffy around to face him. A smile as wide as the sky, planted on his face.
"I'm the luckiest guy in the universe to have you. You know that right." He leaned in for a kiss. "Love you, Buffy," whispered as their lips met.
"Love you, my big handsome hero."
"Come on luv, let's go home and you can punish me all proper like and I can see to your needs like a proper consort."
And then…