"That's wonderful, dear!" cried his grandmother, Catherine, trotting over to him and giving him a peck on the cheek, while nearly choking him with her strong perfume.

"I know," laughed his mother, "a girlfriend, at last!"

It was 2007, and an engagement party for some second cousin, twice removed, or whatever, and Rory had just told his family about his girlfriend, Amy Pond. Of course, living in a small town, his mother knew all about Amy Pond and, well, a rather promiscuous girlfriend is better than no girlfriend, isn't it?

Rory's grandmother, however, knew nothing of this red-haired girl who was currently sipping champagne at the drinks table and chatting to one of the rather good-looking groomsmen.

Amy then chose that moment to sidle over to the gathering of cynical parents and put her arm around Rory's shoulders.

"Amy, dear, we were just talking about you!" Mrs. Williams smiled tightly.

"Oh dear," Amy laughed.

"So what do you do, Amy?" Catherine turned to her.

Amy and Rory glanced at each other slightly. "Erm… er…" Rory looked around for a change of topic, but Amy was brave enough to answer.

"I'm a… a kissogram," she then attempted to hide her face within her champagne glass, without much success.

"Oh," Catherine replied, appropriately startled. "How… unorthodox."

"Mmm!" was all Amy could say, but her face was turning as red as her hair. "Will you excuse me for a moment?"

With that, Amy walked off towards the ladies, wishing that she could just dissolve into the marble floor.

Catherine stared after her. "Where's she off to?"

"Probably kissing some poor groomsman."

"Mother!" Rory glared at her. "Just because that's her job, doesn't mean she's like that… normally!"

"Yes, like the way a prostitute doesn't go around shagging people willy-nilly," she argued harshly, smiling.

"Please, Mother, don't talk about her like that," Rory attempted to keep his voice calm.

"But why, darling?" she continued. "You can do so much better, you know you can!"

"I can't," he tried very hard to stop his eyes from welling up. "She's the best and… I love her."

His mother's jaw dropped and she was rendered speechless.

"How can you?" Catherine frowned. "You've only just begun courting?"

Rory rolled his eyes. "Grandmother, I've known her from when I was seven."

"Yes, dear," his mother began again, finally finding her voice, "as a friend, but why don't you leave girls like her to people like… Jeff!"

Rory felt hurt rise up inside him. "Mother," he gritted his teeth, "I don't care about bloody Jeff! If Amy wants to go out with Jeff, I won't stop her, but I love her, I can't help it!" People began to stare as he raised his voice. He obliged to their craving for information. "That's right, I love Amelia Jessica Pond!"

Finally, Amy emerged from the lavatory, just hearing the last sentence. Her legs turned to jelly, but still she got up the strength to stride over towards him, rest her hands on his cheeks, and kiss him, in front of the entire engagement party.

"You don't mind?" he whispered, his voice a little shaky.

"Of course not!" she scoffed, taking his hand and dragging him away from his mother and grandmother.

"Er… bye Mum," he waved, grinning sheepishly.