EPISODE TAG - 3X05

Paralysing Fear of Brotherhood

Will was asleep.

Natalie was glad, but at the same time she wished that he had been awake to make this call himself. She was clutching the phone in her hands with a white-knuckled grip, and could see the veins just underneath her skin, stark against her paleness. Will lost a bit of his colour as well, had been losing it since noticing that he couldn't feel his legs anymore. He had pretended to be calm and composed, but she could see his frustration building slowly at being confined to bed with no diagnosis at all. She was honestly surprised that he had managed to fall asleep, but then again, being confined to bed usually left one with no options but to sleep the hours away, hoping that things will be better once he woke up again.

She hoped they would.

Anyway.

She couldn't let her thoughts run away with her. She had to make this call now; when she wasn't swamped with patients and when she was still waiting on test-results. Natalie ignored her shaking fingers as she dialled the number she had stolen off of Will's phone, hoping against all hope that Jay wouldn't ask questions that she didn't have an answer for.

Jay ran a hand through his hair, releasing a sigh that did nothing to relieve him of the pent up frustration in his chest. Voight had sent all of them home, claiming that they all needed an off day after their last case. Antonio and Ruzek headed off to Molly's for a couple of beers but he had declined the offer, preferring to head back to his empty apartment for a relaxing shower and an equally calming movie night on his sofa.

One hour later he was still as coiled as a spring and no movie kept him sitting on the sofa and 'relaxing'. He knew that he was shutting everybody out; Antonio had told him that multiple times, but he was just not up to socialising. Regardless of that, he needed a drink, so he grabbed a jacket and was about to call Antonio to see if they were still at Molly's before his phone rung in his hand.

Expecting to see the name of someone from his team, he was shocked to see an unknown number flash on the screen.

"Halstead."
"Jay? It's Natalie." She was scared.
"Natalie? What's up?" More importantly, why wasn't Will calling him?
"Can you come to Gaffney as soon as you can?" Like a classic doctor, she evaded his questions.
"What happened to Will?" His voice was rough, and he heard her sharp gasp as she flinched.
"It's not something to say on the phone, but it looks like it might be bad Jay, so can you come?" Despite her fear, Jay smiled at the no-nonsense tone that came across the phone.
"Coming now, meet you in your breakroom?"
"Sure, text me if I'm not there or tell someone to page me." Natalie promptly hung up, and Jay pocketed his phone before sprinting to his car, turning on his police lights for good measure so as to arrive there as quickly as possible.

The road wasn't long, and before he knew it Jay was strolling into the ER, nodding distractedly at Maggie before making his way to the breakroom where he could see Natalie bent over several printouts and a laptop. She appeared to be at the very end of her rope, and Jay felt the tendrils of fears coil around his gut, realising for the very first time that he had no idea what was wrong with Will, and apparently, neither did Natalie. Schooling his features, he gently knocked and entered the breakroom, gathering the doctor in his arms for a brief hug before she pulled back.

"He's in the ICU." She wasn't looking at him, but rather at the notes that were spread all over the desk.
"ICU? What the hell happened?" Jay's eyes widened and he sunk down on the sofa, unconsciously clenching his hand as he tried to imagine what could have felled his brother.

"Look, let's just go see him. I'll explain everything there. He was asleep last time I saw him, but I'm sure he'd love to see you if he wakes up." Natalie closed the laptop before beckoning him to follow her through the corridors and up to the third floor, where the silence was so thick that Jay felt as if he was wading through it. He was relieved when Natalie stopped in front of a room.

He didn't have time to acknowledge the amount of wires and tubes going in and out of his brother before Will suddenly tossed his head to the side, a sure sign that his dreams weren't pleasant. Ignoring the doctor next to him, Jay slid the door open and was next to his brother in an instant, one hand resting on his shoulder while the other cupped Will's jaw. Will was murmuring something but Jay couldn't make it out, so he focused on attempting to wake up his brother, releasing a sigh of relief when Will jolted upwards and was stopped by both Jay's hands and Manning's.

Jay hadn't even noticed the woman's presence on the other side of the bed.

"Will, it's okay, breathe man." Jay let his thumb brush softly across his brother's cheek bone, giving him time to orient himself.
"Hey Jay, how are you?" Will smiled at him, still blinking sleep away.

"I should be asking you that. Looks like you grew out of your habit to kick during nightmares huh?" Jay smiled at his brother, but noticed that his attempt to lighten the mood had fallen short because the air seemed to suddenly turn even more sombre. "Okay, what's going on? Why aren't you telling me what's wrong?"

"We got a young patient, she was paralyzed from the waist down, and about an hour after we intubated her Will collapsed, claiming that he couldn't feel his feet." Natalie blurted out.
"You mean Will is paralysed? How is paralysis contagious?" Jay frowned confusedly, worry evidently flooding his frame.
"It isn't, hence why we're doing everything we can to find out what happened to your brother." Natalie placated, automatically stepping back from the agitated Jay.
"Jay, how come you aren't at work?" Will rose an eyebrow at his brother, reaching out an arm to halt the frantic pacing.
"Voight sent us home to give us a break. I was just heading to Molly's when Natalie called me. Is this permanent?" Jay frowned again, unconsciously letting his eyes drift down to Will's stationary legs. Will wished that he could flatten his feet against the bed so that they wouldn't stick up so much.
"We don't know anything, we'll see what happens with the kid, compare her tests and his, then maybe we'll arrive at a conclusion about this. In fact, I'm going to go check on the kid, I'll check in later, okay?" Natalie smiled at them both before leaving the room, and the air seemed to shift as the two brothers were left alone.

"I'm scared, Jay." Will turned to his brother, reaching out a hand and squeezing as hard as he could, as if conveying the relief that he was still able to do so.
"I'm petrified, Will. You really can't feel anything?" Jay sat down next to Will's hip, purposely giving his back to the motionless limbs.

"Nothing, I've been trying to move them but nothing's working. NOTHING!" Will's sudden, agonised scream startled Jay more than the feeble punch that Will had landed on his broad chest before the veteran managed to catch the thin wrists in one hand, using the other to pull his brother to his chest and letting him rest there. "I can't stay like this Jay, I can't." The words were murmured against his chest, and Jay found that he couldn't say anything to reassure his brother, not without feeling like he might be lying through his teeth. So he just ran a hand through Will's unruly locks, letting the ginger strands slip through his fingers as tears soaked into his shirt, dampening the material. Jay gently let go of Will's wrists, letting his brother fist his hands in his shirt and using the now free hand to run it up and down Will's back, feeling the shudders ease down to hiccups until Will lay pliant in his arms, unwilling to move from the safe embrace that seemed to keep the fear from taking over and developing into a full blown panic attack.

The room's silence was broken by the heart monitor in the background, and Jay was lulled by the low sound. He thought that Will had fallen asleep before the ginger suddenly spoke up, the words still slightly muffled by Jay's shirt. "What if this is permanent? My future with Natalie would be ruined. She already has Owen to take care of, I won't let her take care of my crippled self as well. How will I treat patients if I can't move or reach them? What if this paralysis progresses and I can't breathe anymore? What if I end up a-a vegetable? How-" Will's tirade was cut off when Jay shushed him, his own breathing stuttering as he felt his brother's fear.

"Will, listen to me. You heard Natalie, she'll compare the tests and she'll find something for sure. She's a bright doctor Will, and the other patient is still alive, right? So it may be that this paralysis is temporary and it will wear off. But if you stress yourself endlessly and keep worrying you won't help yourself, it might set you back somehow. You always tell your patients to stay calm and wait for the results, right? So follow your own advice, lay back and relax as much as you can, and we'll wait for the news together, okay? If the worst comes, we'll deal with it together, as we always do." Jay pushed Will away, resting a hand on each of his brother's shoulders and making sure that his words sunk in. Damp and red-rimmed eyes stared back at him bleakly, but the panic was slowly ebbing out of the dark orbs until there was nothing but blind-trust in them, and Jay smiled as his brother leaned back against the pillows, suddenly appearing pale and drawn. There was a similar smile on his features though.

"Thanks Jay, knew I could always count on you." Will grasped his brother's hand before closing his eyes, visibly attempting to relax and somehow marginally managing. Jay was shocked to see his brother fall back asleep, his grasp relaxing until his arms were laying limply on the mattress. Jay stood up and covered his brother completely with the blankets before settling in a chair that was within easy reach should Will need him.

On second thought, Jay inched the chair closer until he was pressed up against the bed, and slipped one hand under his brother's so that Will wouldn't have to move if he woke up and so Jay would be alerted to any movement.

Then he settled back, relaxed against the cushions, and prepared for a silent vigil by his brother's bed.

When Nathalie got back to the room, tablet in hand and joy coursing through her veins, she was surprised to see Jay fast asleep on the chair, one hand beneath Will's and the other resting lazily on his stomach.

"Try to be quiet, he's a light sleeper." Will's voice startled her, as she had thought that he was asleep as well. "I was asleep, woke up about half an hour ago, and yes, you said that out loud." He said with a smirk.
"He looks like he hasn't got a good night's sleep in ages." Natalie frowned worriedly at the older brother, who seemed to sense their staring as he twitched minutely.
"He's been having nightmares, some worse than others. He doesn't tell me anything, but Antonio told me that they caught tough cases lately, and Ruzek found him asleep at Intelligence once. He was having a nightmare, almost attacked the poor guy." Will shrugged, making sure not to move the hand that Jay was holding as he scratched his neck.
"Ouch, looks like his PTSD is coming back again." Natalie was careful as she grabbed a blanket and draped it on the sleeping form, freezing when Jay flinched before he curled under the source of warmth, even if his hand didn't move from Will's.
"Yeah, he just won't admit it. Anyway, what are you doing here?" Will smiled at her, easily reading the ecstasy in her eyes as she basically tossed the tablet in his lap.
"You see that bump above your carnal suture?" He automatically shied away as she picked up the tweezers and started rooting in his hair, the cold metal scraping against his scalp.
"Yeah?" She gently pulled him back by his hair, a silent plea to trust her.
"First I thought it was a mole, but-" She trailed off as the tweezers clicked, and he felt panic bubble in his stomach.
"What is it?" He was curious, scared, and the heart monitor behind him quickened its pace as Natalie stayed quiet.
"Aa, there it is." Instead of answering his question, she seemed utterly lost in examining his hair.
"There what is?" He was tempted to pull away and make her answer, but the soft grip that she had on a section of his hair had him thinking twice before acting. "Nath?"
"Gotcha!" He swore, unintentionally raising his voice as she suddenly pulled, taking a few strands of his hair with whatever she plucked out.

"What is that, a tick?" He looked at the small beetle with wide eyes, suddenly realising that the cause of all their problems was in Manning's hands. Or rather, her tweezers. He did not realise how his indignation made him raise his voice until there was a flurry of movement from his other side and a couple of swears as the blanket was tossed to the ground.

"Will?" Jay looked wildly around, and Will realised that he was about to throw himself headfirst into a panic attack if he didn't calm down soon.
"Jay, it's okay. Look at me. Hey, look at me Jay. I can't exactly stand up right now." Will smirked as Jay glared at him, not taking the joke for what it is. "I can joke about it you know, it's not permanent."

Jay seemed to shut down for a moment, focusing on his breathing as his head dipped down until it was almost between his knees, his back rising and falling sporadically until the veteran got himself under control.

"Not permanent? Did you find a cure?" Jay seemed to lighten up as he grinned at his brother, unconsciously squeezing his hand as hope seemed to trickle into his eyes once again.
"We didn't need a cure, I just had to remove this tick from his scalp. It apparently detached from Denise and caught onto Will when he carried her into the ED, but she's all better now, so we have no reason to believe that Will will have any complications." Natalie smiled at the older brother, watching as the relief physically relaxed his broad shoulders.
"Wait, then why did the paralysis keep moving up her body?" Will seemed to sober up suddenly as he gazed questioningly at Natalie, who grimaced in response.
"It typically worsens for a few hours once the tick is removed." She frowned slightly at Will, an apologetic look on her features as he good naturedly grumbled.
"So I'm not out of the woods yet."
"Nope, but the paralysis is mass dependent, so it shouldn't move as quickly up your body. But you still have to spend the night in the ICU. I got to get this to Serology, don't move." She was out of the door before he could fake laugh at her, and Will almost forgot that his brother was there until Jay spoke.
"How much can the paralysis progress now that the tick is out?" Jay's worry was back, the apprehension heavy in his voice as he rested his elbows on the bed.
"No idea. We had to intubate Denise, but I don't think it will get that far with me. Manning caught it pretty early, plus I'm taller than the girl. Most probably up to my waist." Will shrugged, automatically flexing his fingers and relishing the movement.
"So you'll get out of here tomorrow?" Jay smiled but it barely reached his eyes, buried as they were in dark bags.
"Yeah, but I will be able to stay on my own. You need to get home and sleep a solid eight hours, if not more." Will raised his hand when Jay tried to protest. "You'll be of no use here Jay, I'm just going to try and sleep the night away and hope that the paralysis will be mostly gone when I wake up."
"I can't leave you now Will, at least not tonight. Do you really think I'd sleep peacefully knowing you're in here all on your own?" Jay raised an eyebrow as he shifted so that his legs were underneath him on the chair.
"You're still not sleeping peacefully, Jay. Did you think about talking to Dr. Charles about your PTSD? Even Antonio is worried about you bro, you're slipping this time." Will knew that the words were not what Jay wanted to hear, but they needed to be said all the same.
"My PTSD is just fine Will, can't a cop who sees death daily have nightmares? I'll leave you if you want to be left alone, I'll come by later or tomorrow." Jay spat out the words before leaving the room, his steps almost thunderous with rage.

"What happened to Jay?" Maggie and Natalie suddenly appeared, gazing worriedly at Will's guilt-ridden features and the general direction that Jay had left in.
"Nothing, he just grows antsy when he hasn't had coffee in a while." Will forced a small smile as Maggie ran studious eyes up and down his body.
"How are you doing?" She laid a hand on his knee, tapping it softly as he shook his head.
"I got lucky I guess, paralysis hasn't progressed up past my knees." He rubbed his thigh absent-mindedly, taking comfort in the feel of his own hands.
"Lucky? Getting latched on by a tick? Must have been the red hair, there's not a creature in the world that can resist this." Will couldn't help his laugh as Maggie reached behind his ears, scratching his hair in what he recognized as a soothing motion.
"It's very true." He said with a laugh which Maggie returned as she patted his shoulder, relief clear in her face as she prepared to take her leave.
"I got to go, Doris is gonna kill me for being late to her party."
"Thanks Maggie, have fun." He smiled at her as she left, before Manning closed the curtains and turned to him with a worried expression. He was getting tired of seeing her worry over him.
"What happened with Jay?" She rose an eyebrow, as if daring him to lie again.
"I brought up his PTSD and he got pissed. He'll turn around, just needs a breather." Will shrugged, letting his gaze travel across the cracks in the ceiling as worry for his brother grew. He never had any idea what Jay was up to when he ran out like that, and he couldn't exactly go after him.
"Want me to go or send someone to talk to him?" Natalie gnawed at her lower lip as Will shook his head.
"No, it's better if he stays alone for a while, he's still too angry to be near people for now." Will smiled at her as she climbed next to him on the bed, avoiding all the wires as she rested her head on his chest.
"We'll just wait and see if he comes back. If he doesn't I'll go search for him." Natalie settled next to him as she spoke, one hand tapping a senseless rhythm on his chest.
"What you need to do is go home, take care of Owen." He huffed against her head.
"Helen got him for the night, I'm staying right here." She hummed, shutting out any further protests and shrouding the room in comfortable silence, except for the heart monitor in the background.

Jay didn't know how he made it to the roof, all he knew was that he was too jittery to stay seated in one place, and the roof was wide enough for him to pace until his energy ran out and he collapsed right there. At least he'd still be close to his brother. Same building constitute as close, right? He knew that his PTSD had been resurfacing in the last couple of months, but he did not want to be a victim of shrinks again, not as long as he could help it.

Not as long as he was still clinging to life and not trying to find ways to end it.
Not as long as his brother was in the hospital.
Not as long as everybody around him was happy. He wouldn't ruin their happiness.
He did not want anybody to pity him.
He did not want fake understandings and awkward attempts of comfort.
He didn't want anything. He'd just bury it, like he usually did.
Coffee would solve his lack of sleep.

"You know you'll get hypothermia if you stay up here for long with just a t-shirt." The voice startled him and he turned suddenly, hands already up in an attacking position, but the newcomer had the good sense to stay a few paces away, two mugs in his hand.
"Rhodes. What are you doing here?" Jay exhaled shakily, suddenly aware of the biting cold of Chicago nights.

"I usually come here after shifts, but I'm usually alone. Here, it's hot chocolate. You don't need any more coffee." A warm mug was pressed into his hands, the soothing smell of hot cocoa invading his nostrils and forcefully driving out the tension as the warm drink settled into his stomach. "I know it's hard, but sometimes talking really helps. Doesn't have to be with a shrink." Connor's comment took him off guard, and Jay choked on the next mouthful of hot chocolate, thankful for the sure slaps on his back as the liquid fell in the proper pipe.

"They're just nightmares, everybody's worrying about nothing. More than used to them now, and the job doesn't make it any easier." Jay shrugged off the understated concern, but he felt marginally comforted by the steady presence next to him.
"I highly doubt that it's just nightmares that is making everybody worry, Jay, but it is up to you. However, I can tell you that talking to Charles won't feel like talking to a shrink. I did it once, and it helped in more ways than I could imagine." Rhodes shrugged as he sipped from his drink, purposefully keeping his gaze on the streets below even as he felt Jay's gaze settle on him.
"I'm tired of shrinks man, I'll be fine. These nightmares will pass like all the others did." Jay shrugged, finishing off his hot chocolate and handing the mug back to Connor, who took it silently.
"You driving home?" The question was abrupt, and Jay blinked owlishly before turning to the surgeon.
"No, going to stay the night in Will's room, make sure he's okay. I kind of left suddenly, going to go apologise now." Jay felt shame colour his ears as he remembered his brother's baffled expression when he had stormed out in a childlike tantrum, and couldn't help his sigh.
"There's a couch there, I would lie down if I were you. At least try to get some rest. I'm heading home, come on, don't stay up here or you're going to freeze solid." Connor placed a hand on his bicep, and Jay was suddenly aware of how cold he was, compared to Connor's boiling hands at least. "Damn it Halstead, get a blanket or something when you sit down."
"I'll be fine. Have a good night, Doc." Halstead nodded at the other as he bounded down the stairs, making a detour to the man's bathroom to wash his hands and face with warm water, forcing a bit of colour in his pale cheeks before he entered Will's room.

"You okay?" Will's voice was low, and Jay noticed that it was because Manning was asleep on him, her head rising and falling softly with his breaths.
"I'm good, still staying here for tonight. Sorry man, I'm just tired." Jay smiled sheepishly as Will grinned at him.
"There's a sofa there, go get some rest at least." He cocked his head sideways, where the sofa was pressed against the wall.
"You and Rhodes keep saying the same thing. I'm surprised that nobody drugged me yet." Halstead collapsed on the old cushions, pillowing his head on the armrest and pulling the throw around his body as a small shiver coursed through him.
"You talked to Rhodes?" Jay could easily imagine the raised eyebrow even as he closed his eyes.
"He happened to be on the roof."
"Roof? Jay..." Will's sudden apprehension had Jay stiffen as he realised what he had unconsciously implied.
"I'm not suicidal Will. I just wanted to get some fresh air, and I did. In fact, it's quite cold tonight." Jay raised his left wrist towards his brother, showing that there were no fresh wounds, before curling under the blanket again.
"Good, get some sleep." Will released a breath through his nose before he closed his eyes, letting the small sounds around the room lull him into oblivion before Jay's snores would ruin his attempts to sleep.

The next morning, Will woke up to Natalie taking his blood while Dr. Stohl did tests on his feet. Will was glad to note that his body's unconscious reactions seemed to be happening again even as the metal instruments tickled the sole of his feet.

"Morning guys." His voice was raspy and he grimaced as his dry throat protested his speech.
"Good morning Dr. Halstead. Can you feel this?" Dr. Stohl's pleasantries were as charming as usual, and Will couldn't help his grin as he answered that yes, he could feel Stohl's pen along his calf and he could push against the neurologist's hand when prompted. "Well, get some food so you won't pass out when you sit up, and we'll see if you can stand up afterwards." He left without even letting them say another word.

"That was pleasant." Natalie's comment prompted a snort from the ginger as he flexed his feet, relishing in the movement and the feel of the sheets against his toes.
"Usual Stohl, when do I get breakfast?" Will rubbed a hand on his face, brushing away the crusts from around his eyes and wishing that he could go wash up in the adjacent bathroom. He didn't comment on the catheter that he could feel between his legs, only wandered how he had not felt such a thing being inserted.
"I'll go bring it, should I bring some for Jay as well?" Natalie placed a plaster on the inside of his elbow right after pulling the needle out, offhandedly commenting that he didn't need the fluids any more.
"Yeah, he'll be waking up soon." Will looked fondly over to his brother, who was out like the lights but still evidently peaceful.
"Sure thing. And Will? Glad to see you're doing okay." She smiled as she left his room once again, leaving the curtains closed in a facade of privacy.

Will just smiled as he scratched his head, shifting uncomfortably as the tube limited his movement. He knew that he would have made the same decision if he had a patient in his current predicament, as not peeing for over 12 hours was just unhealthy, but it did not ease any of the awkwardness. He gazed at Jay in order to take his mind off it, and couldn't help the smile as Jay curled onto himself, an incomprehensible murmur leaving his lips as his mind started to wake up.

What was supposed to be a soft awakening was ruined by the shrill ringing of Jay's own phone, sending the slightly dazed veteran to the floor as he jumped at the unexpected sound. Will sucked in a breath as he heard Jay's shoulder thump against the floor where he had fallen, but Jay was up and on his feet with the phone in his hand before Will even managed to open his mouth.

"Halstead."
"Jay, where are you?" Voight's garbled voice carried across the small room easily.
"Sorry Sarge, I'm at the hospital. No, I'm not injured or sick, I got called because of Will. Yeah he's fine, just paralysed from the knees down for a while." Jay's voice was scratchy from sleep, and Will noticed that his older brother was stifling a yawn out of respect for his boss.
"I'm not anymore, just so you know." He smiled as Jay turned, staring wide eyes as Will shifted his feet to emphasise his point.
"Apparently it passed, I'm going to stay here today, is that a problem? Thanks Sarge, owe you one." Jay hung up before moving to the bed, letting his hands rest on Will's calves and grinning when Will answered the silent question.

"Yes, I can feel your hand, now either go wash your face or catch a few more hours. I haven't seen you sleeping that peacefully in ages." Will smiled at his older brother, watching as Jay silently nodded and headed to the adjacent bathroom, where Will heard the water turn on and Jay fumble around as he struggled to wake up fully. "Get some ice for your shoulder, unless you dislocated it." He said once Jay walked back into the room, hair slicked back and looking slightly more aware and alive.

"It's just bruised, I'll live." Jay rotated the wounded appendage, grimacing briefly at the same time as Manning entered the room and caught his movement.
"Nat, check his shoulder will you? He fell off the sofa and I heard something crack." Will smiled at the woman as she raised an eyebrow before putting down the breakfast that she had gotten from the cafeteria.
"Sure thing, can you remove your shirt, Jay?" Natalie slapped on a pair of gloves as Jay glowered at his brother but sat quietly as Natalie gently prodded at his shoulder, confirming what Jay had said. "It's just bruised, ice it when it feels sore and take Tylenol if the pain gets too much. Also, here's your breakfast." She handed him the warm wrap and the coffee, knowing that he needed it to wake up completely.
"What you heard cracking was my neck Will, and thanks Natalie." Jay smiled at the female doctor as he wolfed down his breakfast, suddenly aware of his hunger as comfortable silence shrouded the room.

That is, until Stohl came back in just as Will finished downing the juice that Natalie had brought for him.

"Come on Will, let's disconnect that catheter and see if you can walk."

Jay and Manning dutifully turned their backs as Stohl made quick work, without even looking, of the tube, the others only noticing that it was removed when Will heaved a sigh of relief and Stohl claimed that they could turn as he was just checking the ginger's blood pressure and removing the tubes from his chest.

"Jay, get behind him in case he falls." Natalie's instruction was wise, but it was apparent that Will didn't like it as he frowned at his dangling legs.
"It's standard procedure Will. Come on, we've got you." Manning smiled from the side as Will pushed himself to his feet, swaying slightly before managing to regain his equilibrium and taking a couple of steps forward.
"Looks like this case resolved itself as well. I'll get your discharge papers." Stohl left the room just as Will was ushered back to bed and Manning dropped a bag of clothes on his lap, telling him to dress in his own clothes before leaving the room with a claim that she had to go to work or else "I'll be fired for slacking off, can't say I'm tired at 10am. See you tonight, Will!"

"I'll drive you home, I got the day off anyway." Jay shrugged as Will mumbled that he did not have to take the whole day off because he could manage on his own just fine. "I'm just getting out of paperwork, not missing anything big."
"Sign these Halstead, enjoy your day off." Stohl dropped the discharge papers and disappeared once again, which made Jay raise an eyebrow at the rude demeanour.
"Does he treat all his patients that way?"
"Only his favourite ones." Will huffed out a laugh as he slid the shirt over his head, relishing in the comfort of his own clothes as he tied his laces.

Jay shook his head, grinning as his brother gently stretched his legs before walking out of the room, the two sharing companionable silence until they reached Maggie's desk.

"Will! Glad to see you up and about again, how are you?" The black-woman smiled at both of them, a sincere grin on her face.
"I'm good, was ordered to rest for today."
"You need it Halstead, we'll see you tomorrow." Ethan's comment reached their ears as the doctor fled to a trauma room, where a commotion could be heard clearly.
"Get outta here Halstead, both of you need to rest." Maggie ushered them out and the two brothers laughed as they walked to Jay's car.

"Let's just chill, watch some movies and relax, what do you think?" Will turned randomly in the middle of the stairs, catching Jay's attentive gaze - clearly one that was making sure that the doctor did not fall again.
"Sure, haven't done that in a while." Will was glad to see Jay's eyes softening as he smiled, even if the tiredness was still evident.
"Choose the movie, I'll make some popcorn and get the beers." Will called over his shoulder as he dropped his bag next to the door.
"No, I'll make the pop-" Will cut off the clearly worried rant before Jay got started.
"I've been sitting down for a little over a day Jay, I need to move around. Go choose the movie." As if banished to the living room the older brother kneeled in front of the cupboard, not so subtly keeping an eye on the younger Halstead as he slid the 'Star Trek' CD in its slot.

It didn't take long for the two brothers to settle on the old couch, a bowl of popcorn between them and bottles of beer resting next to their crossed ankles on the coffee table. Will grinned as the familiar prelude started on the screen, knowing that his brother had chosen his favourite film just because he was the one recovering this time round.

"Gotta get injured or sick more often if it makes you willing to watch Star Trek with me." Will smirked as Jay groaned good-naturedly.
"This is the only time that I am going to do this, so you better savour it." Jay's comment was followed by a mouthful of popcorn, and Will couldn't help but bask in the comfortable silence that had fallen between them.

The companionable silence was only interrupted by the repeated shootings on the screen and the slight hustling as they shifted on the couch in order to get their beers or the popcorn. It was easy to appreciate Jay's company when they weren't at each other's throats about bad decisions that each of them were taking, and especially when Jay's PTSD gave him enough of a respite to be able to relax contently without any paranoia, given the nature of the film that they were watching. Actually, that Will was watching.

Only an hour had passed, but Jay's head was thrown back, neck craned awkwardly as he slept, the empty beer bottle hanging loosely in his fingers. Will found himself doubting if Jay had been drugged at the hospital if he was sleeping so much, but a slight groan when Will's probing fingers found Jay's neck quickly told him that Jay was not fully out, and it was only courtesy to his blind trust in his brother and the dulling effects of the beer that he had not broken Will's fingers before he got a full grip on reality.

"Lay down Jay, you'll be more comfortable." Will gently pulled at his brother's shoulder, easing Jay's bulk down in a horizontal position and cushioning his head on his lap.
"You're the one supposed to be resting." Jay's words slurred together, but Will got the gist of it as he softly laughed, treading his long fingers in Jay's hair and pushing it back from the slightly sweaty forehead.
"I've rested enough, go to sleep, Jay." Will eased his hand in front of Jay's eyes, forcibly closing the lids as Jay's breaths evened out until he relaxed, completely out. Will stared compassionately at his brother's limp form before continuing to watch the film peacefully.

Well, he was watching it peacefully until his phone rung, and Will was glad that he had left it on the coffee table as he stretched over Jay's head to grab it. He didn't even glance at the caller ID before answering, too lost on how Jay did not even flinch when the mobile started shrilling barely two metres away from his face.

"Hello?"
"Hey Will, how are you?" Manning's ecstatic voice greeted him from the other side of the line.
"I'm good, was just watching a movie. Haven't relaxed like this in ages, only sad thing is that you aren't with me." He smirked as Natalie huffed over the phone, and he could easily imagine her cheeks colouring.
"Is Jay asleep?" Her change of topic caught him off guard and he raised his eyebrows in response when Jay chose that moment to let out a small snore.
"Yeah, how do you know?"

"Charles slipped a little something that would only work about a few hours afterwards. Don't ask me what it is, he slipped it in the coffee, and it doesn't react badly with alcohol in case he had any beer. It was only supposed to relax him, not really make him sleep. But if he's sleeping it's all the better." Natalie sounded relieved over the phone, but Will found himself fumbling for Jay's pulse nonetheless, comforted by the steady thump beneath his fingers.

"He should have at least told me, he freaked me out when he suddenly fell asleep. And he did drive us." Will chided, unconsciously covering his brother's ears to block out the noise.
"It's safe to drive with, he said that many use it for anxiety, I think. He's still naturally sleeping, not sedated, don't worry. I got to go, my break's ending. Would you be okay if I pick you up tonight, or do you want to stay the night with your brother?" Natalie's inquisitive tone was like music in his ears.

"I think that Jay needs to go out tonight, and I need a break from his mother-henning. So sure, when do you get off?" He didn't have to hear her laugh to imagine her smiling as broad as he currently was.
"About 4, want to meet at 5 at that coffee shop we went to last time?" Natalie sounded slightly hurried now, and he knew that she really had to go.
"Sure, see you." The beeping noise let him know that the call had ended, and Will turned back to his movie, mind more focused on how that night was going to be rather than how Kirk and Spock were supposed to solve their current problem.

His legs were tingling again.

Logically, Will knew that it was due to Jay's deadweight on his lap, but due to his most recent brush with paralysis, any tingling in his extremities was throwing him back into that hospital bed, unable to feel anything past his knees and trying to imagine facing life in a wheelchair.

He wiggled his toes, pleased to find that despite the tingles, he could still feel the cottony socks against his feet.

Well, he was still feeling his toes before he got up and his feet gave out from under him.
Was he?

He was tempted to wiggle out from underneath Jay and test his legs, see if the paralysis was returning, but he couldn't do that to his brother. Not when he was finally sleeping.

But what if his hesitation would land him in serious trouble? What if the paralysis travelled suddenly up his spine and asphyxiated him?

No, paralysis doesn't work that way Halstead.
Well, they got new cases almost every day at Med, so why shouldn't he be one of those cases?

Mysteriously paralysed by a bug. Wouldn't that be interesting?

No, he wasn't getting paralysed again. It was just his leg falling asleep. Normal. Happened to everyone.

Would shaking his leg jostle Jay?
Oh wait, it would. Let him rest.

Will breathed heavily against the panic that was clogging his throat, trying to maintain an air of calmness around him.

"I'm not getting paralysed again, it's just because of Jay's weight." Will repeated the statement to himself, over and over again until he could feel his lungs regain a semblance of air and his heart calm down to its usual rhythm. He reopened his eyes just in time to see that Jay's sleep was no longer restful and his legs were still tingling. He could still feel them.

Jay knocked him out of his thoughts when he whimpered, fisting Will's pants as he buried his face in his lap.

"Jay, wake up, come on buddy." Will knew that he was in dangerous territory, as Jay never woke up well to having people immensely close to him. He knew that it had taken Erin more than a couple of months to get over that hurdle until Jay learned to not wake up fighting her. Will knew that Jay would not attack him, but he did not know what Charles had slipped in his drink, and the more dazed that Jay was, the more aggressive he tended to be, even as he currently let loose another keen as the nightmares tormented his fragile mind.

"JAY!" The slightly louder call managed to jolt Jay out of whatever hellish experience he had been reliving, and Will stayed absolutely still as Jay blinked, attempting to gather his bearings and marginally relaxing once he recognized Will's apartment and his sock-clad feet a few centimetres away from his face.

"What happened?" The hoarse voice was expected, and Will watched silently as Jay rubbed a hand up and down his face, scrubbing away the last remnants of his nightmare and brushing the sleep away.

"You fell asleep, been out cold for about three or four hours." Will commented lightly, shrugging as Jay blinked up owlishly at him before fumbling with the sleeve of his hoodie to see the time.
"Sorry Will, didn't mean to fall asleep on you." Jay sounded genuinely apologetic as he pushed himself up, stifling a yawn in the meantime.
"I knew 'Star Trek' bored you, but this is a new level." Will joked, covering up the fact that he was waiting for the blood to rush back in his legs.
"It was your running commentary that did it." Jay caught the jest and rebutted with his own, a grin tugging at the corner of his lips as he got up, easing the cramps in his muscles and making his way to the bathroom.

Will released a groan as soon as his brother was out of the room, attempting to move his legs before the severe needle-like sensation made him change his mind and leave his limbs stationary as the blood re-circulated.

It was still frightening to leave his legs in one position for so long.

Will heard the toilet flush and the water running before Jay came back out, looking considerably more alert.

"Will?" Jay's inquisitive tone jarred the younger Halstead from his thoughts as he gazed at his brother.
"Yeah?"
"Should I take you back to Med? What's wrong with your legs? And don't say nothing, you haven't moved an inch since I got up, and if I was asleep on you then you haven't shifted in the last 3 hours. Any normal human being would stretch his legs after that." Jay's voice grew more anxious as he rambled, unconsciously hurrying forward and resting a hand on Will's legs, some idea of relief flooding his features when Will nudged his leg against his brother's hand.

"Relax Jay, they just fell asleep and as per usual, tingly legs hurt and I don't want to move them until I can feel them properly again." Will forcibly put his legs on the ground, the change in position enhancing the discomfort but allowing him to grasp his brother's soldier. "The paralysis completely passed, and it is impossible to have a relapse from a tick, unless there's another one in my hair." Will aimed for a joke, but he knew that it was the wrong joke to crack when Jay's hand suddenly passed through his locks, forcing Will to stand up and move away. "RELAX JAY, ticks come from Australia, and there aren't any more here in Chicago. Besides, I wouldn't be standing right now if it was a tick, so don't worry."

"I can't just not worry Will, do you know what it's like seeing you laying on that bed?" Jay's voice broke, and Will pulled his brother in a hug, letting him leech some comfort before Jay pushed him away to pace on the other side of the room.

"Do you know what it's like fearing that I'm going to see you being rolled in whenever Maggie says that we've got police incoming? At least you knew I was going to live." Will shrugged, knowing that it was a vulnerable point to be considered.

"Fair enough. I can't say I'll stop being a detective Will." Jay stopped trying to dig a hole in the wood and instead met his brother's gaze full-on, allowing him to see his determination.
"Yeah, like I won't stop caring for patients even if something like this might happen." Will sighed, a smile pulling at his lips as Jay shook his head, a similar smirk on his face.
"Guess we just have to accept our risks brother." Jay nodded, the statement having been said more to himself than to Will, and Will knew that it was time to change the topic.
"You look better." He saw Jay's head suddenly shoot up, a mask flickering on his features before it fell completely, revealing a genuine, if slightly rueful, smile.
"I haven't slept that much in ages. Been going to therapy, so it might be helping." Jay shrugged, his shoulders relaxing as he poured a glass of water, downing it in one gulp.
"You decided to go to therapy?" Will raised his eyebrows in shock. His brother had always hated talking to shrinks, and his aversion towards Charles was blatantly clear. "Why didn't you say so when we told you to talk to Charles?"
"Was forced actually, but it turned out to be good. And because I did not want a shrink who knows me or my friends and/or relatives. I was slipping Will, badly." Jay shuddered, passing a hand over his face and surprisingly appearing to wipe away the psychological pain that had weighed down his eyes for a moment. "Well, how is it going with Natalie? Owen giving you any more black eyes?"

Will stumbled over his next words, but recognized Jay's desire to change topics, "Really good, and not yet. Hopefully never again." Will laughed softly as he recalled his last night with Natalie, and then remembered; "Oh by the way, I'm meeting her at like four, then I'm going to go over to her place, can you drive me? I kind of left my car at the hospital. And for the love of God, call Antonio and go out tonight. You need it."

"Sure, I need to go to the precinct anyway. Also, you're a worse mother-henner than me, just saying." Jay rolled his eyes, raising his eyebrows when Will spluttered.
"Am not!" Will spat indignantly.
"Oh yeah? Have I ever checked your pulse while you slept?" Jay smirked as Will wisely stayed silent, only pouting in response. "Go get ready, traffic will be a bitch at those times."

Jay watched Will as he hopped down the stairs, clearly excited at the prospect of meeting his girlfriend. The notion caused an ache in his own heart, but he brushed it off, knowing that mourning over his own lost love would do nothing to bring her back, and Will deserved to be happy after everything that had happened in his life as well.

Well, Jay did not need to see Will with a girlfriend in order to be happy. All he needed to see was his brother, safe and sound, and above all, healthy and on his feet, jumping even more than a five year old on a sugar rush and running a high risk of eating the next stair instead of descending it like a normal human being.

"COME ON JAY, WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE!" Will's voice sounded from near the door.

"YOU FORGOT TO LOCK WILL, GIVE ME A SECOND, I'M COMING!" Jay shook his head with a grin as a petulant groan echoed up the stairs, and he quickly descended the stairs, dialling Antonio on the way and making a plan to go get drinks later that night, something which the older detective quickly agreed to.

"You got your energy back all too quickly." Jay mumbled as he slid into the driver seat of his car.
"You're just getting old." Will's huff was met by a half-hearted slap to his chest, which the younger accepted with a ringing laugh as the two brothers made their way to the cafe.
"You know there's only two years between us, right?" Jay rose an eyebrow as he parked in front of the cafe just in time to see Natalie about to go in.
"Drink responsibly grandpa!" Will jumped out of the car in his haste, and Jay saw Natalie laugh as his brother almost stumbled in his own two feet, before she waved at Jay.
"You're not joining us?" Her voice easily carried.

"Nah, I have to go down to work, enjoy guys." He smiled at them as he pulled out of the parking, watching in the mirror as the couple walked to the cafe, hand in hand and so much in love that Jay had no doubt that if more hurdles like this came their way, Natalie would be there for them as well, and he wouldn't shoulder the paralysing fear of brotherhood on his own, even if she would never understand their connection. Just then his phone rang, and Jay made sure that there were no cars before checking the message.

"Thanks brother." It was brief, but there was no more to be said, and Jay locked his phone as he focused on the road once again.

Looks like Will was taking another step forward in his life, and Jay would be there to help him.

As the precinct came in view, Jay released a small sigh. So much for an off day...

I SO HATED THE FACT THAT JAY WAS NOT EVEN MADE AWARE OF WHAT HAPPENED IN THAT EPISODE - THEY'RE BROTHERS, GOD'S SAKE.
Anyway XD

1) I sincerely hope that you like this, feel free to drop reviews below to tell me what you think! If you did not like something, also feel free to leave constructive criticism!

2) I am aware that I said I will be uploading slower, but I had this already in the works and I just wrapped it up to post XD That being said, when I get enough time, the next stories will be Antonio-centric, CPD universe, hopefully.

3) Disclaimer: I do not own Chicago Med, never have, never will.

Chrisii xx