Summary: Dean wants to role play as Captain Kirk and First Officer Spock, but Castiel knows nothing about them. The good little angel does his homework and manages to surprise Dean with just how dirty he can be.

A/N: This story is a fill for this kink meme prompt: "Dean is a Trekkie. Cas understands that it means he's rather fond of some old TV show… but he doesn't understand why Dean wishes to be addressed as "Captain" or why he ought to comment on whether or not things are logical. And frankly, he's too scared to ask about the prosthetic Vulcan ears."

I'm not sure if I got it exactly right, but I think I got the spirit of it. Enjoy!

Thank you to my beta, Delu, who took the time to beta this after she got home from work. XD


Talk Me Into Something Kinky

Castiel had seen a great many things in the course of his existence. He had seen humans copulating in many different configurations. He had seen males with females, males with other males, and females with other females. He had even witnessed humans of both genders having intercourse with farm animals—which was still one of the most disturbing things he had seen, even after his trip to hell. He had seen humans who enjoyed their own pain or the pain of others, and humans who desired sexual submission or dominance. Even if he had never experienced any sort of sexual arousal before he had met Dean, he was still aware of these things. All in all, Castiel considered himself to be fairly well-versed in the ways of human sexuality.

And yet, even after all of the millennia of his existence, Castiel still often found himself confused by the many forms that human sexual acts could take. He could understand the mechanics, but the whys of the matter constantly evaded him. For what purpose would humans want to embarrass or be embarrassed by, hurt or be hurt by their own lovers? Why would they want to be restrained or partake of intercourse with another species? Why would they wish to be with another besides their chosen mate or utilize a sexual position that was difficult for either one or both partners to assume?

Dean had laughed at him when he voiced these questions. "Cas," he said, still chuckling. "Humans get bored. If we didn't switch it up every now and then, we wouldn't want to be with our 'chosen mate'—" Dean chortled at Cas's phrasing. "—for the rest of our lives."

Castiel frowned at Dean. "Dean, we do not 'switch it up'. Does that mean that you will eventually get bored with me?" He suppressed a shudder at the thought. His time with Dean on earth was going to be short enough without the human deciding that he no longer wanted Castiel.

Dean frowned and hooked an arm around Castiel's waist, drawing the angel toward him. "That's never going to fucking happen, Cas." He cupped Cas's face between his hands and kissed him softly. "Cas, I know I don't say it too often, 'cause really, I fucking hate chick flick moments, but I l—" Dean seemed to choke a bit on the words as he fought to get past his own macho instincts. "—love you," he finished. "I love you, Cas, and I don't want you to think that I'm gonna get bored just because we haven't gotten into anything kinky yet." Dean leered down at the angel with a lascivious grin. "The way I see it, that just means I have the rest of my life to sweet talk you into it."

Something occurred to Castiel as he thought about this. He tilted his head as he looked up at Dean. "You wish to talk me into something kinky. What have you been thinking about? I will attempt to fulfill your needs."

Dean flushed. "Nah, Cas, you don't have to do that." He rubbed the back of his neck, a gesture Castiel had noticed he only used when he was embarrassed. "Really, I'm fine with doing what we've been doing."

"Dean," Castiel commanded, deepening his voice in a way he knew Dean found arousing. "Tell me."

The human caved a few minutes later. Between the voice and the eyes, Dean hadn't stood a chance. The problem Castiel had now was what to do with the newly acquired information.

Dean had asked him to do something called 'role playing'. This in itself did not seem to be so horrible. Castiel knew that humans had very active imaginations and liked to lose themselves in the pretend as a means of escaping from the reality of their own existences. It was not so farfetched in Castiel's mind to think that humans would link this escapism with their sexual practices.

It was what Dean had asked him to role play that was problematic for Castiel. Dean wanted to role play as 'Captain Kirk' and 'First Officer Spock', but Castiel had absolutely no idea who Kirk and Spock were. The only thing he did know about them was what Dean had told him and in Castiel's opinion, Dean had not given him the proper amount of detail required for him to perform sufficiently.

"I want you to call me 'Captain'," Dean had said. "And you need to tell me that I'm being logical and give me shit about it if I'm not. Oh, and—" Dean had gone over to his duffle and rummaged through it for a second before pulling out two shirts, one a golden yellow and one a royal blue, as well as two pointed rubber ears. "Could you wear these?" Dean's face had been red and he hadn't been able to meet Castiel's eyes as he held out the blue shirt and the fake ears.

Castiel hadn't known how he was supposed to respond, so he had just taken the items from Dean and said, "Dean, I need some time to think about this." Then, he opened his invisible wings and flew away, not noticing the dejected look on Dean's face as he disappeared.

He had been thinking about it for a while now, taking his time to formulate a plan before taking action. Castiel wanted to do well for Dean. If this was important to Dean, then it was to him as well. Determined now, the angel went to find Sam.

Castiel knew that he would have to tread cautiously while talking to Sam. He had learned soon after choosing Dean as a mate that the human did not like it when Castiel told Sam details about their relationship. For some reason, the younger Winchester enjoyed embarrassing his brother by using what the angel had told him. Castiel did not want to cause Dean to suffer in any way, and so he had stopped telling Sam anything, even if he did ask.

For this matter, though, he needed Sam's input. Castiel would not tell him about Dean's request, but he hoped that the man would at least be able to clarify just who Kirk and Spock were and give him tips on how to go about researching the subject.

Sam wasn't too hard to find. Castiel had figured that the most likely place to find him would be the library and, though there were three of them in the city—the Winchesters were currently hunting down a ghost that possessed young girls and killed their mothers—he had found Sam at the one closest to the hotel in which the brothers were staying.

When Castiel materialized in the chair across from Sam at the library table, he was gratified to note that not even all of the time the man had been spending with Gabriel was sufficient to keep him from jumping at the angel's sudden appearance. "Sam," he said in a low voice.

"Cas," Sam replied. "What are you doing here? Is Dean here with you?" Sam craned his head around to look for his brother.

"I am here alone." Castiel thought for a moment, attempting to come up with a way in which he could ask Sam what he needed to ask him while neither outright lying nor telling the complete truth. "Dean made reference to a 'Captain Kirk' and 'First Officer Spock' earlier and I do not have any idea who these people are. Please explain."

Sam looked at Castiel, trying to assess whether or not the angel was serious before realizing that this was Cas, not Gabriel, and Cas was always serious. "They are characters on a TV show from the '60s. Dean was really into it when we were growing up." Sam glanced over to a row of computers on a long table. "The show's called Star Trek. I don't know much about it—" He shrugged. "—but you can always google it if you're really that interested."

Castiel nodded. "Thank you, Sam."

The angel walked over to the nearest open computer and sat down in front of it. Castiel tilted his head at the strange human contraption. He knew the basics of how to operate a computer, but that didn't mean he was proficient at it by any means. He reached out a finger to poke the computer's mouse and was pleasantly surprised when the monitor lit up with the library's desktop. Slightly proud of himself for knowing how to wake up a sleeping computer, Castiel quickly opened the internet browser and—relieved that the home page was already set to a search engine—typed 'Star Trek' in the search bar.

Castiel's eyes widened as the results of his search came in. One hundred twenty million hits. This was going to take awhile.

Several hours later, Castiel left the library feeling much more prepared than he had before. He had learned all that he could about the characters of Captain Kirk and his First Officer Spock. He had learned of their respective backgrounds prior to serving on the Constitution Class Starship Enterprise as well as all of the things they had accomplished together aboard said ship. He knew that many fans of the show—there was some dispute over whether they were called 'Trekkies' or 'Trekkers'—thought that Kirk and Spock were a couple and that Dean was apparently one of these 'slash' fans.

Castiel was going to be able to take advantage of this. He had read a few of the slash 'fanfics' that had come up in his search and there had been one common theme that recurred over and over again. If he were able to simulate this one thing, he had a feeling that Dean would find it extremely arousing. As unangelic as it was, Castiel couldn't keep himself from picturing Dean with all of his clothes and his emotional walls stripped away, so stimulated that he was unable to hold back the writhing, the begging, the screams of pleasure.

Suddenly, completely overwhelmed with his own excitement at the thought, Castiel hurried to set his plan into motion. The sooner he had everything ready, the sooner he and Dean could go 'where no man had gone before'.


Dean was waiting for Castiel. The angel could feel it, could see it. He peered into the hotel room through the window and saw that Dean had done as he had asked and changed into the golden command shirt. His lips twitched, but only a little bit. Everything was as it should be. Dean was dressed as Captain Kirk, Castiel was dressed as First Officer Spock (complete with prosthetic pointed ears), and the angel had a place ready for them that was both appropriate for the storyline they were carrying out as well as isolated so that no one would hear Dean scream.

Castiel materialized in front of Dean. "Come, Captain," he said. His hands were not reaching out toward Dean as they would have liked to, but were clasped firmly behind his back.

"Cas—" Dean gasped and stood up from where he had been sitting on the bed.

Castiel's back straightened and he had to work hard to keep his head from tilting as it usually would when he was puzzled by something. Dean was not in character. Castiel would have to remedy this. "You know very well that I am called Spock, Captain," he admonished. "It is illogical to call me by another's name."

Dean stared at Castiel for a moment before he finally caught on. "Right you are, Mr. Spock," he replied with a wink and a grin. "So where…are we going?"

Castiel almost winced when he heard Dean's impression of William Shatner—the man really was horrible at impersonating anyone other than his brother—but he managed to hold it back. This was Dean's fantasy and if that fantasy included putting dramatic pauses after every other word, Castiel wasn't going to ruin everything by commenting on it.

"We are orbiting Vulcan at the moment. Are you prepared to transport down to the planet's surface?" Castiel asked, raising one eyebrow. "We must be on time for my koon-ut-kal-if-fee."

Dean frowned as he tried to place the words. Castiel could see that he wasn't really all too concerned about it though, since Dean moved to stand next to him, then straightened his shoulders and grinned. "Beam us down, Scotty."

If he were human, Castiel would have rolled his eyes. Instead, he placed one hand on Dean's shoulder and 'beamed' them down to 'Vulcan'.

Castiel had been particularly careful when he was choosing the setting for he and Dean's first attempt at role playing. He had wanted a place that looked like what he had seen when he had watched "Amok Time", however there didn't seem to be any ceremonial desert grounds that looked enough like the Vulcan ones to be authentic. Some were similar, but the differences were off-putting or there were too many people. So, instead he had chosen to simply make something of a camp in a small desert cave. He had made sure that there were no indigenous animals in residence, nor were there any humans nearby.

Castiel had also put down blankets on the floor of the cave. After all, while he definitely wanted this to be an experience Dean wouldn't forget, he didn't want the reason for said remembrance to be because neither one of them had skin left on their knees. Dean would never forgive him if they had to explain that one to Sam.

"We are here, Captain. This is the place of our Koon-ut-kal-if-fee," Castiel said gravely, looking back at Dean. "I burn, Jim. My eyes are flame. My heart is flame. The pon farr is upon me. I am deep within the plak-tow, the blood fever." Castiel tried to look crazed, and was quite sure that he failed spectacularly. "I must mate or I will die."

Dean looked at him as though Christmas had come early and Castiel allowed himself to feel a small bit of self-satisfaction. "Mate…or die…you say?" Dean said, struggling to stay in character and contain his glee. "We are…the only ones…here, Mr. Spock. Just who…were you intending…to mate with?" Dean—being Dean—was unable to keep himself from adding a waggle of his brows as he asked the question.

Castiel ignored the character break and really hoped that Dean would forget about trying to act like William Shatner once they started having sex. While the situation in itself was exciting enough, Dean's version of Kirk was really not as stimulating as the human obviously thought it was.

"If you are agreeable, I am hoping to take you as my mate, Captain," Castiel declared. Dean opened his mouth, but the angel continued, cutting him off. "You must think about this very carefully, Jim. A Vulcan marriage bond is exceedingly difficult to break. Do not make your decision rashly," Castiel warned, using lines he had read in a fanfic earlier that day.

"Spock…I cannot allow…you to die," Dean protested. "There is no…decision to make. I accept you…as my mate."

Castiel wanted to just push Dean down into the sand and take him right there, but there was one more line that needed to be delivered, one more thing that he had to do.

"Jim, parted from me and never parted. Never and always touching and touched," Castiel murmured, extending two fingers towards Dean. When Dean lifted his in return, Castiel rubbed their fingers together in a Vulcan kiss. "I love you, t'hy'la."

Dean smiled back at him, some of his previous cockiness making way for tenderness as he said, "I love you. Parted…from me…and never parted. Never…and always…touching…and touched."

Before Dean knew what hit him, Castiel had him down on his knees in the cave. He pulled off Dean's shoes and socks before ripping off his gold command tunic and black pants. Once Dean was naked before him, he tore his own clothes to shreds trying to get them off. He knew Dean would probably be upset with him for ruining the Star Trek costumes he had gotten for them, but Castiel felt certain that neatly folding their clothes would not only be completely out of character for a Vulcan in pon farr, it would also be a waste of time. He would find a way to get Dean another set of Star Trek costumes for next time.

Castiel dropped to his knees behind Dean and immediately pushed two fingers into his lover's hole. Good, he thought, feeling the lubrication drip down his fingers. Dean had prepared himself adequately, as Castiel had asked him to.

Pulling the digits back out of Dean, he smeared the lube that coated them onto his dick before lining himself up and pushing in. Dean groaned once at the stretch and burn, and then again as Castiel quickly thrust all the way inside of him. They didn't usually have sex with so little preparation, so Castiel dropped character long enough to allow Dean to adjust to the penetration.

The angel wrapped his arms around Dean's chest, running a hand up over his abdominals so that he could pinch one of his human's nipples. "Are you ready, Captain?" Castiel growled in Dean's ear.

Dean moaned and thrust his hips back into Castiel. He was definitely ready.

Castiel straightened up, sliding one hand up to hold onto Dean's shoulder, and started thrusting. He fucked Dean harder than he had ever fucked him before. Their lovemaking before had been slow and tender, fast and hard, or somewhere in between, but it had always been lovemaking. Now, as Kirk and Spock, they weren't just making love. They were mating, rutting into one another as though they really were consumed by the pon farr. Dean would most likely have bruises tomorrow, but neither one of them cared as they tried to quench the fire running through their veins.

Dean came first, yelling loudly as he spilled himself onto the blankets before collapsing in a heap on top of the mess he had made. Castiel growled and pulled Dean back up into position, thrusting into him—if possible—even more violently than before. He wasn't able to keep it up for long though and the feeling of Dean's ass clenching around him with the aftershocks of his orgasm soon sent Castiel over the edge as well. Three more hard thrusts and the angel was finally coming hard inside of Dean.

They both lay panting in a sweaty, cum-covered mess for a while as they got their breath back. Then, Dean pulled himself off of Castiel, rolled him over onto his back, and propped himself up on the angel's chest, grinning. "Fuck, Cas," he leered. "That was… Fuck, I don't even have words for how awesome that was."

Castiel looked up at Dean and allowed a rare smile to cross his face. "I am glad that you enjoyed it, Dean," he replied, running his fingers up through Dean's hair.

A mischievous smile tugged at Dean's lips even as he leaned his head into Castiel's hand unconsciously. "So, Cas, what's your fantasy?"

Castiel didn't answer. With Dean, it was always better to show than tell, so he simply rolled them over and began round two.


A/N: I will be writing a sequel to this story that is pretty much the opposite of this one. Kirk and Spock role play as Dean and Castiel. Hopefully it won't be too long. Thanks for reading! XD

A/N2: There is now a companion fic! It is called "Exploring Sexual Idiosyncrasies To Facilitate Communication" and is posted on my profile.