"Stay Gold, Ponyboy. Stay Gold…" Johnny's last words kept repeating over and over in my head. Damn him! Jonny, why? Why couldn't you live, why couldn't it of been me? It was my stupid move, if I hadn't gone into that blazing church Johnny maybe wouldn't of followed. Johnny would still be alive if we hadn't gone to the movie. Then this whole mess wouldn't of happened. A cold gust of wind brings me out of my thoughts. I wrap my arms around myself and shiver, I should probably get a fire going but I don't feel like it. In fact I welcome the cold with all it has to offer, maybe if I focus on the cold it will ease some of the pain. More importantly why did I come here? I'm back in the damn park where all of this started. Darry is probably going mad wondering where I am, but I can't face anybody right now. I would break down if I had to tell people that Johnny just died. But since no one's here with me I let the tears roll down my face and the sobs escape my chest.
"Johnny, I'm so sorry. I should be the one dead, not you. Oh God Johnny," I kept talking to myself with each statement letting out another wave of tears, gasping for breath and shaking with each sob. This can't be happening, Johnny was only 16 he still had so much more to do in his life. I took in my surroundings again, but this time with more detail. I let in a shuddering breath when I realized this was where me and Johnny had spent the night before everything happened. Before everything changed. I ran here a little while after Johnny died. I couldn't stand staying in that room it suffocated me, and when I looked at Johnny's lifeless, limp body it almost brought me to my knees. Dallas was already out before I was. I knew that he had snapped, I wish I knew where he was at. I wanted to see him so bad, Dally was the only person I would be able to talk to right now. I just hope that he's not doing anything really stupid. He doesn't need to be going back to jail. Especially not right now, right now it's better for the whole gang to get through this together.
The sound of police sirens and breaks screeching made me jerk my head up. When I looked up I saw a man running away from two if not three police cars, he was heading in my direction. I swear that man was as tall as Dally, I couldn't see him real clear since he still was a good distance away from me. But when I saw the rest of my gang running up to met the guy, I knew for a fact it was Dallas. With out even thinking I was already on my feet running towards Dallas.
"DALLAS! What the hell is going on?" I shouted at him almost close to him. Behind me I could hear Darry and Soda yelling my name but I didn't turn around right now I was focused on getting to Dally. I got to Dally just as he stopped running and was reaching for something in his pocket. My eyes widened, it was the heater. The empty heater. But even if it was empty the cops wouldn't know that and they also wouldn't think twice about firing back with their loaded guns. The next events happened in slow motion. With Dallas finally having his heater out pointing at the police I stepped in front of him, using all of my force and weight, trying to tackle him to the ground, that way the bullets couldn't get us. I was successful, and for a short amount of time while I lied on the ground I smiled. Thanking God that Dallas wasn't shot, if he died… I couldn't even think about it.
"PONYBOY! NO!" I heard Sodapop yell a few yards away from me. I didn't answer back, I rolled over to see that the police where coming toward me and Dallas, but Dallas looked fine. Just a bit shakin' up. Dally's face was streaked with cry tears that I knew where for Johnny, his eyes where the coldest and hardest I've ever seen them. But they also had the most saddest look about them that I've ever seen in my life. It would of brought me to tears if we where alone or in a different situation. Standing up I felt stabs of pain coming from my lower chest and mid stomach. I looked down at my body and gasped in fear when I saw two bullet holes where the pain was coming from, and as soon as stood up and took a step I fell back down on the ground. I heard the gang running up next to me and Dally rolling me on my back and looking down at me.
"Put your hands behind your back!" the cops yelled while they came over the cuff Dallas.
I tried to say something but I couldn't get anything out. Darry was kneeling down next to me while Soda put my head in his lap, brushing threw my hair lightly. I looked up at them through misty eyes, that's the first time I realized I was starting to cry. They're own tears where falling down on my face as well. I looked up past them to see that Two-Bit and Steve where still standing but they where on the break of tears as well.
"J-Johnny's dead," I finally got the words out, it seemed to take all of my strength but I finally said something. They didn't respond to that they just kept comforting me and yelling at the cops to get help or do something, but they where to focused on Dallas.
"PONYBOY! You're such an idiot! Why did you do that?" I turned my head to see Dallas struggling against the cops cursing them and cursing me.
"Damn it Ponyboy! Why? You have Brothers!" He kept shouting but when the police where starting to move him to get into their car that's when I got scared. They can't take him away. I have to talk to him before it's to late.
"No, please don't. let me talk to him. Please," I barely whisper the words to the cops. I have a feeling they didn't hear me so Steve went over to them, said something to convince them to walk Dally over to me. With the gang huddled around me, for once I had nothing to say. I just lied there staring up at them, hoping Two-Bit would break the silence like he always does, but this time he had nothing to say.
"Darry? Soda?" I finally break the silence but saying there names.
"Yeah Pony?" Soda replies back, I know Darry's listening he just can't talk right now.
"I-I want you to know that I love you guys. So much. I'm so sorry Darry. For everything mean I've ever said to you or did. And Soda you and Darry have to stick together from now on. It's just gonna be you two now," as I said that last sentence it dawned on me that this is actually the end for me. I'm dying. I wonder if this is how Johnny felt when he talked to me. There's a strange peacefulness to it, oddly.
"No Pony. Don't talk like that your going to be okay," Darry finally spoke up through soft sobs.
"Come on Ponyboy you can make it please don't do this. You can't leave me and Darry by ourselves," Soda said but he wasn't hiding his cries, he was hunched over me and I could feel his hands shaking as he kept brushing threw my hair.
"You'll have the gang. You'll always have the gang," I say back.
"But it's not the same without you," more of his tears fall on my face.
"Dallas, you can't pull stunts like that again. Johnny wouldn't of wanted it, and you know it. Please for Johnny's sake don't try something like that again. Next time you actually will be dead." I try to turn my head towards Dallas but it takes to much energy so I just settle on looking up.
"I won't Ponyboy, I'm sorry," he says through a shaky voice. I smile and try to make eye contact with everyone.
"Don't be sad over me. I'm just happy that I actually got to be buds with all of you before my time came," I say in a raspy voice. Darry Clinches my hang tight and I just lay there. Waiting. Waiting for it to finally be over.
"Darry, stay with me. Please, I'm scared." I whisper threw a shuddering breath.
"I'll stay with you till the end," he kisses my forehead letting out a stream of tears. I smile up at him and mouth my thanks. Once again I look around me taking in my whole gang, all of them have tear trails on their faces. They next time I look up I see something surprising.
"Dally, I can see him. I see Johnny," I tell him not breaking eye contact with Johnny.
Johnny is standing right in front of my feet smiling down at me. He looks so good, his burns are gone, his scares are gone. And he's walking, he's not crippled like how the doctors said he would be. And he looks happy, he looks the happiest I've ever seen him other then his last moments before the church roof collapsed on him.
"It's time to come with me Ponyboy," He tells me while holding out his hand and grinning.
"Can you see him? He's telling me it's time to go with him, I want to go with him," I tell everyone while lifting my hand up in an attempt to grab Johnny's hand.
"Go with him kid, tell him I'll always think about him and we'll all miss him," Dallas speaks up first and I nod.
"Tell mom and dad hi, while your there too Pony," Soda was next and he whispers in my ear "I love you Ponyboy."
Darry just looks down at me sobbing so much that he can't talk, I reach my hand up and whip away a tear from his face and say, "I love you two."
Finally I rest my head back down on Soda's lap and close my eyes while I take Johnny's hand.
END OF CHAPTER ONE
Hello! I am a HUGE Outsiders fan so I decided to write a fanfic, of what would happen if Ponyboy got shot trying to save Dallas instead of Dallas getting shot. I promise this is not the only chapter. This will probably end up being a long story of events taking place after Johnny dies. Oh and for all of those people who can't stand Ponyboy dying, here's my hint for you: he DOESN'T die. If you read on you'll see what happens.J so please keep reading and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE send me your reviews. Love ya! 3