1

As the filly walked through the square, her eyes glided quickly over the vendors and their customers. With a grey coat and blond mane so dirty it might as well have been brown, she was practically invisible to everypony present. This was not without reason.

She walked at what appeared an unhurried pace, weaving in and out of small crowds with a well-practiced ease as she searched. Unfortunately, it seemed as though she'd overstayed her welcome in this particular market, as everypony had a close eye on those around them, and one hoof on their purses.

But then, she laid eye on him, and knew her search was over. He was a brown colt with the mark of an hourglass on his flank and the spikiest mane she'd ever seen. He seemed indifferent to the ponies around him, and they in turn seemed to not even notice his existence. A perfect target.

She trailed him for a few minutes, slowly growing closer. All the time, not one pony glanced his way or acknowledged him. Finally, when she was near enough, and brave enough, she reached out to his saddlebag and...

"What's this, a thief?" Before she could blink, her hoof was trapped between two of his own.

"A- ah! Help! Somepony help!" She called out to the people around them. It wouldn't be the first time she'd made an escape by pretending she was being accosted. However, no pony turned at her voice, or batted an eye at her struggles.

"You have quite the raw talent, little pick pocket." Her would-be mark told her. "It's no easy feat to observe a Watcher, especially one who does not wish to be observed."

Ponyville Library. Not my usual choice, for business or pleasure, but I go where the bits are. And tonight? Well, according to my client, they're right under the nose of one Twilight Sparkle, in the form of a rare book shipped in all the way from Canterlot. Twilight is a bit of a mad genius, from what I've heard. Personal student of Celestia herself, almost unparallelled in the magical arts, and, more recently, a social butterfly. She's taken up residence in the library as she performs research on, of all things, 'The Magic of Friendship'. She's more likely to give me a lecture on economics than to fry me with some Unicorn spell, but I'm more worried about word getting back to her mentor. Last pony to cross Celestia ended up getting sealed inside the moon for a thousand years, and that was her own sister. I don't want to think about what she might do to me. Still, security should be pretty lax; in a small town like this, they've barely even heard of the concept of stealing, let alone of somepony making a living off of it.

The only thing I really need to watch out for is Sparkle's pet dragon, Spike. He should be asleep this late at night, but my casing of the building revealed that he has a penchant for late-night snacks. Not only that, but his buddy Owlowicious will be on watch. The bird isn't much trouble alone, but if he alerts Spike and Twilight, I'm as good as moon-banished. If it does come down to a fight, though, I've got a few trinkets from the good Doctor that should give me enough of an edge to escape with the book.

Heh, never thought I'd be contemplating going hoof to toe with a dragon, even a baby one. But, hey, momma's gotta buy her Dinky a set of texts for school, and one old book for a bunch of new ones seems like a fair enough trade to me.

The library is a wonder of Earth Pony and Unicorn magics: A gigantic, hollowed out, living tree. As a Pegasus, I couldn't tell you the first thing about how it manages to work, but it's a real one of a kind building. Word is, it's older than Ponyville itself. That it was a Lunarite stronghold back when the Everfree Forest covered the whole valley. If that's the case, there might still be a few Lunarite treasures hidden away for me to pilfer.

There are at least four levels to the library, maybe more. The base level and the one directly above it make up the actual library. Nothing there for me but publicly available reference guides and cheap clop novels masquerading as literature. Oh, and the Owl. The top level is where Twilight and Spike's personal quarters are, and it's the most likely place to find my target. As for the basement, I'll be avoiding going down there if I can. I've heard talk about the strange machines Twilight keeps down there and I'd like to keep away from them if at all possible. There's a reason I called her a 'mad' genius.

The sun has been going down early ever since this year's Summer Sun Celebration, probably Celestia's way of welcoming her sister back to Equestria. Fine with me; a longer night just means I have more time to work. At sunset, I kissed Dinky goodnight and double-checked my gear. Two hours later, my daughter was sleeping soundly, cuddled up with Ms. Sweetie, and the Doctor arrived to look after everything while I was out.

Doctor Whoof and I have been friends a long time. He's a Watcher. Anyone who knows about my history with the Watchers might think those two facts contradict each other, but they don't. He's always been on my side, even when he had to stand against the rest of the Watchers to be there, and I'll always be grateful for everything he's done for Dinky and me.

"Watch yourself out there." He told me as I left. Sometimes, I can't tell if he's making a joke or being sincere. I closed the door without answering.

Ponyville was founded by Earth Ponies, and the town still holds strong to its roots. This is particularly good for me, as it means most everypony stays indoors at night, even if they're not in bed. As for those who do venture out... Well, they're easy enough to avoid when you have wings.

Sugarcube Corner just so happened to be between my home and the library, so I decided to slip in for a little snack. Sure, it's not like a couldn't afford to just buy some muffins legitimately, but I still hadn't forgiven Pinkamena for the whole 'baked bads' fiasco, which left half the town ill, myself included. I slid open a window, it wasn't even locked, to the kitchen and eased inside silently.

Mr. and Mrs. Cake had already left for the night, which just left Pinkamena herself for me to deal with. She was in the front room of the bakery, sweeping up the remains of a party and singing a song about sweeping up the remains of a party, I could see through the open door. I had to do this quick.

Now, I could have simply crept my way to the storeroom and not risked being seen at all. I happen to know that the Cakes put all the day-olds in a big box in there to give to Fluttershy and all her animal friends. However, I also happen to know that Pinkamena likes muffins almost as much as she like cupcakes and, like I said, she still didn't have my forgiveness. What better way to get back at her for bad muffins than by taking good ones? Especially ones she planned on eating herself?

I slipped into the room and ducked behind the counter as the pink pony sang and twirled about, not so much cleaning as stirring up clouds of dust. Three rather delectable-looking muffins sat on a plate further down the counter, a bottle of hot sauce standing next to them. Luckily for me, it looked like she hadn't doused them with it yet.

I slid as quietly as possible along the counter, coming to a stop next to the glass window built into it. The windowed section was between me and my muffins. I lowered myself to my the floor and crawled past. Now was the tricky part.

Any thief will tell you that timing is everything. Timing your steps to those of a patrolling guard so he can't hear you coming over his own hoofsteps, timing your arrival in a building for when security is loosest, or just timing your swiping so that the nearby ponies don't notice what you've taken until you're long gone.

That last one is the most difficult. Ponies can be unpredictable, especially late at night, when their nerves get frayed and their senses start to play tricks on them. More than once, I've nearly been caught by unlucky timing and circumstance causing a pony to coincidentally glance my way right when I needed them to be looking anywhere else. The trick is to find the patterns.

Everypony, even ones as chaotic as Pinkamena, have a pattern to what they do. You just need to wait and watch and, most importantly, remember. Rarity brushes her mane for twenty minutes every night before bed. Once Mayor Mare enters her study for the night, she will not come out until morning. Octavia takes five minutes to say her nightly prayers.

And Pinkamena Diane Pie closes her eyes on the long notes.

The muffins were in my saddlebag and I was climbing back out the kitchen window before the start of the next stanza. As I ghosted away from the bakery, I heard Pinkamena's alarmed voice.

"Hey, what happened to my super-delicious pre-bedtime muffins?"

If you happen to be an Earth Pony or Unicorn, the library has only one entrance, the front door. It opens up to the street, without so much as a bush for cover. Plus, from the inside, it's nearly impossible not to notice when it opens. Luckily for me, a Pegasus has a few more choices available. Not only are there a great many windows that would easily allow me access, but there's also a balcony at the top level and a trap-door on the roof for stargazing.

My plan, as I wiped muffin crumbs from my lips, was to enter from the roof. I figured that it wasn't likely to be locked, considering its location, and it was the most out of the way entrance. From there, I would head down to Twilight's room and snoop around for the book and anything else that might catch me a few bits, then make my exit by way of the balcony. Short, fast, safe, and profitable.

Another thing any thief can tell you: Things rarely go according to plan.

My first surprise of the job was a pleasant one. Usually, this late at night, Twilight and the Owl would still be burning the midnight oil in the library proper. Tonight, however, the only light on in the building came from the third floor, spilling out onto the balcony. I could just make out the sound of a voice and, curious, I alighted on the branch directly below the balcony and listened carefully.

"Really, it's fine Owlowiscious." It was Twilight. "Pinkie's party really took it out of me; I'm just going to turn in early tonight. You go on, now. I know you've been meaning to spend some time with that lady-owl friend of yours."

"Who?"

"You know, the one with the- Oh, right. Very funny." She yawned. "I'll see you in the morning."

There was an answering hoot, a rustle of feathers, and the library was suddenly short one night watch-owl. A few moments after that, the light vanished and I heard Twilight and Spike exchanging goodnights.

I waited about an hour on the branch, listening to the quiet buzz of the large beehive that hung from it. When I was sure the pair inside had drifted off to sleep and the owl wasn't planning on returning immediately, I flapped my wings and flew up to the balcony. Like I'd suspected, they hadn't bothered to lock it. I slipped inside and used my wings to silently lower myself down to the floor.

Twilight's room wasn't much different from the rest of the library, in the sense that there were bookshelves all along the walls. A modestly-sized vanity occupied the one space along the wall that wasn't more books. Twilight's bed sat perfectly centered in the middle of the room, Spike sleeping in a small basket next to it. I could just make out the rise and fall of his spines as he snored. Hey, doing this kind of thing for as long as I have gives you some pretty wicked night vision.

I crept over to the vanity first, using the mirror to keep an eye on the resting residents as I searched for the book. No go. There was a nice brush sitting there, but it had more personal value than commercial. I did find one thing of use, though. A letter, from none other than Princess Celestia herself. I skimmed it, you'd be surprised how often these things lead to loot, and one passage stood out to me.

However, I'm afraid that, despite all my abilities, even I cannot cure the hiccups. I applaud your prudence in moving your more valuable books to the basement and suggest you keep them there until Spike's flame is under control again. In the future, perhaps it might be a wise idea to keep a better control over the quantity, and speed, of his gem consumption. I do enjoy hearing from you, but twenty-three scrolls in one afternoon is a bit more than expected.

And that was my second, and far less pleasant, surprise of the job. So much for avoiding the basement. I heaved a mental sigh, because I'm too much of a professional to be making sounds when somepony is around to hear it, and tiptoed my way over to the stairs. The sleeping duo didn't even stir.

I made a quick check of the two main floors, since I was passing through them anyway. Aside from some quills, ink, and blank parchment, the library held just what I already expected to be there, with no valuables in sight. Shame. I followed the signs to the basement door and went down the steps beyond.

The basement was... well, let's just say that the stories I'd heard hardly did it justice. I couldn't make heads or tails of the big machine in the center, but it looked impressive enough. Blinking lights, whirring motors, leg clamps, the works. It also had a large scroll attached to it, and what looked like a needle with ink on it. No doubt it did something uncomfortable and pointless. A true Celestian, that Twilight.

There were a few smaller machines about, but nothing that looked useful or expensive or, thankfully, active. I snooped around, and quickly found my target sitting on a small table, along with a few other books. Unfettered Growth: A Study of Plant Life in the Everfree Forest. Over three hundred years old and worth more than two bits for every one of 'em. I wrapped it with a cloth and put it in my saddlebag.

I glanced at the other books, but they didn't appear too promising. A first edition Shetland Holmes that was missing the first two pages, an ancient dictionary,an out of date atlas, and... hello, what's this? The Elements of Harmony: A Reference Guide. Now, what would a new-looking reference guide be doing down here with these old books? I flipped it open, and found my third surprise.

The old hide your shinies in the false book trick. Five necklaces and one tiara, all made of extremely high-quality gold and gemstones. Jackpot. If I could find a buyer, I wouldn't need to so much as pick a pocket for at least two months. I decided right then to show one of the necklaces to my fence as soon as possible.

I took the jewelry, left the empty guide, and skedaddled from the basement. Then, I unlocked the front door from the inside and waltzed right out. Well, waltzed right out after carefully making sure no one was around to see my waltzing. My head was held high and my mind was already filling with all the things I would do once I sold the jewels.

It was a good night.

The Doctor was gone when I returned home, though that wasn't unusual. He tended to split just minutes before I would show up, no matter how short or long my job was. Watchers really love flaunting the whole 'dark, mysterious, and all-seeing' thing. One of the reasons I left.

I hid away the night's haul in my safe room, before checking in on Dinky. My beautiful foal was still sleeping peacefully, blissfully unaware of the world beyond her dreams. Good. If she were to never need to find out what her mother does at night to support her, I could die happy.

Tomorrow night, I would meet with my client for delivery and payment, as well as visit my fence and show him one of the necklaces, but now it was time for bed. I still had to go to work in the morning, after all.

"Momma?" Dinky's tiny voice, not to mention her constant poking, woke me from a dreamless slumber. "You awake yet?" Well, I certainly was now. I blinked sleepily at her, before holding out my forelegs. She climbed up onto my bed a snuggled up next to me, closing her eyes against the early-morning sunlight streaming through my window and colouring my room golden orange.

Wait, sunlight? I lifted my head up to look about and confirm. Yep, I'd slept through the sunrise. Horsefeathers. I let my head flop back onto my pillow with a groan, before dragging myself into a sitting position, Dinky rising with me.

"Commiserate parlance, Muffin." I told her. Go get ready for school. I try to avoid talking in public, what with my rather obvious speech problem, but Dinky understands me well enough that I don't bother with the mute routine at home. "Oneself prelate muffins." I'll make breakfast. Years ago, I was receiving therapy to help me speak correctly, but I had to drop it due to my chronic lack of funds. Because of it, muffin is one of the few words I can easily say on demand and, for that reason, I tend to use it a lot.

"Awwwww," Dinky whined. "Do I hafta go?" She looked up at me with the most pitiful look she could muster. I focused carefully on my response.

"Little fillies must school." I managed, with some difficulty. "School potent." Forcing the right words out, simple and unstructured as they were, hurt both my throat and my head, but there are things that I will not leave open to interpretation. I wasn't going to have my Dinky following in my hoofsteps.

"Yes, momma." She sighed, rolling off the bed and oozing out of the room the way that only a depressed foal can. I gave myself about thirty seconds of exhausted slumping on my bed, then forced myself to get up and moving.

Breakfast was, as it always was when I hadn't recently raided Carrot Top's fridge, a simple affair. We each got one of the muffins I'd restrained myself from eating the previous night, along with some of the perkier-looking flowers that grew near the house. It's not much, but Dinky is still small enough that she doesn't need all that much to fill her up yet and I can always stand to lose a pound or two. Dinky was happy with it, at least, munching away as I brushed her blond mane.

I sent her off to gather her schoolbag as I inhaled my breakfast and tried to shake some of the tangles out of my mane. It didn't really work, but at least it was out of my eyes. Dinky returned, ready for kindergarten, and I ushered her out the door. Locking up took longer than I could really afford today, but, considering my night job, I've learned to never take security lightly. Dinky has never really questioned it, thank whichever deity it is who watches over thieving mares.

"Advantageous!" I commanded, scooping up Dinky and flapping towards Ponyville's only school building. I was late, which meant Dinky was late, which was something I really couldn't stand. I brought her in, hugged her goodbye, and was back out the door and in the sky before Cheerilee could ask any questions.

I booked it to the post office as fast as my wings could carry me. If I was lucky, no one had noticed yet how late I was.

"Oh, hey Ditz." Carrot Top greeted me, exiting the very building I was entering. "You oversleep again?" I nodded, trying to rush past her in what was probably quite the rude manner. "Filly, you gotta do something about those nightmares of yours." She told me concernedly. "I'm starting to worry about your health, y'know?" It was a testament to our friendship that Carrot Top wasn't offended when I simply pushed past her without answering. She's seen me this late before, after all. "After you're off for the day, come by my house." She called after me. "My fridge is getting too full for it's own good!"

I dashed to my station and began to sort letters as quickly as I could. After a few mishaps that aren't worth recounting, the boss has stopped trusting me with anything but standard letters or light parcels that couldn't harm anypony if dropped. It's not that I'm clumsy, I just space out sometimes if I run across some that reminds me of... Well, let's just say that my speech wasn't the only thing I was taking therapy for and leave it at that.

Postmaster Double Stamped gave me a look as he walked by, but, luckily, he seemed to be willing to let my tardiness slide. This time. Ponyville isn't a huge place, so I was able to sort through my workload quickly and set out on deliveries without being too behind. It's not a great job, but it's what I can get without being able to talk to other ponies. At least it allows Dinky and me to have a table, even if it doesn't pay enough to put any food on it.

My deliveries took me all around town, as they usually do. The price for not delivering any fragile or heavy or large packages was carrying almost twice the standard mail of any other employee of the post office. I don't terribly mind, since I'm paid by the hour contrasted with the volume of my load. That is to say, the faster I deliver more letters, the better my pay. And I can fly very fast.

The library never has any deliveries, since Twilight does all her mailing via magic flame, but I did pass by when dropping off some letters to Quills and Sofas. Even from the outside, I could hear the sounds of Twilight frantically searching for her stolen property. I was a little surprised at how worked up she sounded, and briefly wondered if she was more upset by the missing jewelry or the missing book. Knowing her, probably the book. Eh, she'd be fine; not like Celestia would banish her prized pupil over some old book about plants.

After my rounds, I headed towards Carrot Top's house, stopping by the school to wave through the window at Dinky. She seemed a little embarrassed to have her mom making a scene in front of her friends, but, hey, there are worse things in the world than a mother who loves you and isn't afraid to show it. She waved back, and I continued on my way.

Carrot Top is one of the only ponies I know very well in Ponyville. She hasn't known me as long as the Doctor, since I met him way back when I was living in Manehatten, but she was the first pony I met here. She's also one of the only ponies in town I've never thought about stealing from. I'd like to say it's because she's my friend, but it's probably more because she gives me free access to her food. Yeah, I'm a pretty terrible pony.

"Ditzy, round back!" She called when I knocked on her door. She was back in her garden. If the carrot cutie mark wasn't enough to tip you off, one look at her garden is all it would take to convince you of Carrot Top's call in life. She's more than good enough to go and work in Celestia's royal gardens, I can tell you that much. Not like most of her carrots didn't get shipped to Canterlot anyway. I walked around the back.

"Filly," She told me when I came into her view. "You've gotta challenge that Rainbow Dash to a race one of these days, knock her down a peg or two." She said, carefully pulling a weed out of her carrot patch.

I raised an eyebrow at her. I'm fast, but no pony is Rainbow Dash fast.

"I have been asking the weather team for threedays to give me a little rain on my garden!" She explained, a touch angrily. "And they told me that today Rainbow Dash would bring in a cloud and give my carrots a good soak. And when I got home earlier and saw that they were still dry, I went and found that lazy filly myself and you know what she said when I asked her about the rain? 'I'll get to it later,' that's what she said! My carrots need rain now and that blue meanie has the nerve to-"

Crack

There was a small snap of lightning as I kicked the little black cloud I'd pulled down while Carrot Top was ranting. She squealed and ducked out of the way of the sudden downpour. It only took a few moments for the cloud to empty, fading back to white, giving her garden a much-needed drink. It certainly wasn't all the rain her plants needed, but it would hold them over until Dash got around to soaking them properly.

I shot Carrot Top a smirk and tossed the cloud back to the skies.

"...Huh." She blinked at me. "I forgot you could do that." In an instant, her annoyance pulled a 180. "Filly, you come inside right this instant; you and me have mags to read and a carrot cake that's got our names all over it!"

A day wherein I can pig out on cake while reading ridiculous gossip magazines with CT is a good day in my book. The fact that she gave me the leftovers and a whole lot more to take home to Dinky never hurts, either.

Still, before too long, it was time for me to leave. I packed the food Carrot had quite easily persuaded me to take home into my saddlebag, said a silent goodbye, and headed back to the school to pick up Dinky. Given how much I had eaten, I wasn't keen on flying at the moment and decided I could stand to walk instead. I still had plenty of time to get there, anyway, so there wasn't any reason I couldn't.

"Halt, thief!" Freezing up at those words was an amateur move. A stupid one, too. What you're supposed to do is raise one hoof to your bag while turning to the direction of the shout. Luckily, the, ah, 'forces of justice' were too inexperienced to realize my blunder. I finally turned, and found myself staring at three young fillies; a white Unicorn, an orange Pegasus, and a yellow Earth Pony.

"Applebloom!" Before I was even entirely sure what was going on, I was saved by the arrival of Applejack, proprietor of Apple Acres and big sister to one of my accusers. "Just what do y'all think ya're doing?"

"Catching thieves!" One of the little ponies, the one with the white coat, answered. "Don't worry, we'll get Twilight's book in no time!"

"Y'all are gonna be catchin' a hard time out if'n ya keep chasin' down random ponies and callin' 'em theives." She looked up from them, to me. "Ah'm terribly sorry 'bout this, ma'am. These three get so carried away, they don't hardly know what they're doin' half the time."

"Of course we do!" The Pegasus proclaimed. "We're..." What came next was a deafening chorus by all three fillies, like some prepubescent voice of the legion.

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADER THEIF CATCHERS!" Ow. I've never been more grateful that my Dinky is so soft spoken than I was in that moment. Applejack wasn't impressed.

"Gonna be Cutie Mark library cleaners in a few minutes. Honestly, what did y'all think you were doing tearin' the place up like that?"

"We was lookin' fer clues!" Applebloom responded happily, before turning serious. "And now we gotta find the thief!"

"No," Her big sister said firmly. "What y'all gotta do is apologize to this here pony for your wild accusations. Now." The three spent a moment trying to withstand her glare, but buckled as one and turned to me.

"Sorry." They mumbled in a much more subdued version of their creepy legion voice.

"Won't happen again." The unicorn added.

"Good." Applejack nodded. "Now get yer flanks back to Twilight's and start cleanin' up the mess you made." The defeated trio trudged back the way they had come under Applejack's watchful eye, before she turned back to me. "Sorry again." She offered, turning and heading after the Crusaders.

Perhaps it was fate, or maybe just nerves, but I knew right then that taking the jewels had been a horrible mistake.

I had to get rid of them.