EMILYS POV

It's impossible to forget something you care so much about. Whether it's a song a colour, a poem or a smell, there will always be something to remind us of those we love. That's why I believe the saying "those that leave us are never truly gone", due to the fact our memories refuse to allow us to forget.

This is how I feel anyway, about a certain girl at my college. She isn't gone, or dead, just forbidden. Whenever I see her along the corridors, with her blonde hair, amazing dress sense and confident walk, I think to myself "she's just a girl, that's all, just one human being." But by the time she's gone and I see other blondes, other people with a relatively similar dress sense, they won't do, it's just her I just want to see all over again. Not that she notices me or wants anything to do with me at all; I'm no different to anyone else in this dump. If anyone was to stand out, it would be my twin sister Katie of course. Confident, loud, always wanting to be the centre of attention, she is completely different to me. I don't have any problem with myself though, as everyone seems to think. "Be like Katie, bet you wish you were!" are the comments I receive frequently. No thanks, I think, just because Katie wears a push up bra, styles herself in the bare minimum of clothing to get attention, I think I'll pass and be myself.

I'm in my second year of A –Levels, taking English, Photography, and Art. No idea where I want these studies to take me, I don't really care much about them, but just going with the flow. Last year went quickly I suppose, nothing really happened aside from the fact I realised I definitely liked girls. Especially one in particular, not that I got anywhere with that. I don't know what it is that makes me gay, it's definitely as people say though, out of your control. My mum and dad have no idea, whereas Katie has inkling because I just don't seem as interested in boys as she is, and she finds it very hard to understand why. Personally, I just prefer all aspects of girls over boys. With a girl I feel like I can be more open, more myself as their emotions will be similar to mine and we can come to an understanding. Stepping outside I reinforce those thoughts in my head, that I simply cannot settle for second best. I will wait until I'm happy.

Walking to college in the morning is a drag. I play music on my iPod but I just seem to get the songs which remind me of one girl. Naomi. Naomi Campbell. Here I go again, does she ever leave my head? Beautiful, intelligent, and so, so passionate. We haven't spoken since we were about 14 and in high school, and that seems to suit her a great deal, she must view me as some sort of stalker really. Not like me though, I would love to speak to her again, I'd love her to stalk me! There's just never been the right moment, nor even a reason at all to make conversation. At least not on her side. I could have come up with a million excuses or conjured up certain problems which would need her input, but thought better of it seeming as I know she wouldn't like me in that way. Ah, time has passed yet again as I get lost in my thoughts of Naomi. I'm here.

"Oi, Katie babe! Oh.. Shit it ain't her. It's the lesbian one init! Damnit."

I glare and say "Fuck off", turn my back on some guy who Katie has obviously shagged and never got back to and continue through the hallway. Sometimes I wish we looked more different. Sighing, I enter the classroom and make my way through tables and chairs to choose my seat next to my friend from last year, Pandora.

"Hey Emily! How are you? Good summer? I had a fantastic one! Me and Mum played all sorts of games, what did you get up to? I remember when I ended up down a hole and..."

Urgh. I smile politely and confirm that yes I did have a good summer, but think to myself it could have been a lot better. Pandora's words blur into nothing as the door opens and low and behold, of course, dead on 9am, Naomi walks in. Her eyes skim over the people in the class until she finds mine. We hold eye contact, my heart starts quickening its pace as I can't believe how gorgeous her eyes are, how have I never noticed this before? She's actually looking at me, deeply at me, as if she's forgotten everyone else is around. I know I have. I feel confident as I feel her eyes burn into mine, maybe this year things will be different and I can finally tell her how I feel. I smile, just at the moment she breaks the contact and has a look of horror on her face as if she's realised what she was doing. She instead looks at the boy in front of me, Cook. Naomi looks back at me, my stomach fills with butterflies of hope, and then as if on purpose looks at Cook again and winks. Is she spiting me? My heart sinks. Of course, she doesn't want me. What was I thinking? She's as straight as straight can be.

Lunch time at college is better. I meet up with last year's friends Thomas, JJ and of course Katie is around.

"Babes do ya wanna come back to mine tonight? Ems won't mind, she'll probably doing homework," Katie grins and flutters her eyelashes suggestively at a new boy, Jake who is already seemingly under her charm.

"Erm, yeah, sure. That'll be great" he replies with a smug look on his face.

"Cool, here's my number. You've picked the right Fitch twin." And with a wink, she turned and was gone. Swarmed by an army of first year girls desperate to know her tips. I watched her walk off into the girls loo, presumably to do her makeup. Great, more people who will be Katie's followers. This day just seems to be getting worse and worse.

"Excuse me ?" a smooth, firm and confident voice makes me shiver as I realise I'm being spoken to, for the first time properly in over three years by the blonde of my dreams. I turn around. I'm not in her way, she could walk around me so she must want something in particular, and she wants to speak directly to me.

"Hi.. Sorry." Fuck, my voice actually has almost a kind of tremor in it. And why am I even apologising? I look like an idiot! She laughs, raising her eyebrow and looks at me as if she thinks I'm stupid and I blush.

"Why are you apologising? You freak. Anyway I thought you were Katie, I've been paired with her in a class and needed to give her this. Sorry." And with that she gives me an almost stern look and turns around.

"Wait" I call out.

Naomi stops in her tracks and turns to face me.

"Yes?"

Oh no, what could I possibly have to say? It's as if I hear the distant ticking of my watch as it shows how long we are both stood here in complete silence. Think Emily, think. I glance down to avoid her piercing gaze and look at what she's holding.

"Erm, I could give her the work for you if you like?"

She pauses, looks down at the wad of paper in her hands and nods.

"Okay sure, cheers that'd help me out a lot. "

Naomi walks back over to me and I almost feel sick from nerves as she looks at me again.

"Make sure this gets to her, I'm not doing the entire project myself. Oh, and especially my address, because she's going to have to come over and help me out soon with what we're doing."

I take the sheets of paper she's offering me and look back at her, she looks away, disinterested.

"Don't worry I'll keep you safe." I give a small laugh as if I'm trying to be as confident and cool as she is.

Naomi raises her eyebrow again and I realise with extreme embarrassment what I've said.

"I'll keep this safe I mean. The work. For Katie."

I feel the heat rush to my face and I'm sure I'm redder than the shade of my hair.

"Cheers."

She walks away from me and I look down at the pieces of paper. How easy it is to embarrass myself in front of her fuck sake. A plan comes into my mind as I notice the address on a post-it note Naomi has written down. Katie wouldn't want to work with Naomi, she wouldn't be bothered to, but I sure would.