The Wife and Mistress
Strolling into the cold, dimly lit powder room to adjust her makeup, the Time Lady sang to herself "Hey Missy, you're so fine. You're so fine, you blow my mind. Hey Missy. Hey Missy." She puckered her lips as she applied her lipstick and grinned as she caught another reflection in her mirror. She put her lipstick away and addressed her company. "Hello sweetie," she teased. "Say something nice."
The golden-haired chatelaine stepped out from the shadows steadily pointing her gun at Missy. Missy turned and shook her head at the gun in disappointment. "No, no. Get it right." She repeated slowly, "Say something nice." River raised her gun without saying a word. Missy laughed. "Doctor Song, I've been known to make a bad first impression but honestly…" River did not waver. She didn't even blink. Missy rolled her eyes. "I didn't even get an invitation."
"What invitation?"
"To the wedding," Missy replied exasperated. "Obviously. Who was his best man?"
"It was a private ceremony," River responded. Missy sighed.
"Shame. I would have thrown one hell of a stag." She smiled. "After all, what are best friends for?" Missy's eyes followed as River lowered her gun. "And what a shame it's taken me this long to meet the missus."
"And you are?"
"His mistress," she replied as she raised her arms to display. She grinned but River was not amused. Missy tilted her head to the side. "His oldest friend. And foe."
"I need to know that my husband is safe," River pleaded. Her eyes met Missy's as she read her body language and sympathized.
"Of course he isn't." River raised her gun once again and Missy hesitated. "You know he isn't, otherwise you wouldn't be here. But I'm not the one you need to worry about. You know that, too, don't you."
"Why should I believe you?"
"Why, we're practically family!"
"Try again," River said as she held her gun against Missy's head. Missy rolled her eyes and inhaled deeply before responding.
"Because I wouldn't want to lose him anymore than you would. But in order to protect our boy, I need you. Help me to help him to help you to help me. Just picture it, you, me, and our Doctor. A regular ménage à trois through time and space. Just this once, everyone lives, Especially you." Missy grinned wildly. "What do you say?"
River held her gun to her head just a minute longer before lowering it once again. "I shouldn't trust you."
"Well of course not. But you know that upfront. There's your advantage." River placed her gun back in her holster. "Trust me, don't trust me. We don't need to trust one another. The Doctor trusts you. That's the only thing that matters to me." River nodded.
"It will have to do for now." Missy smiled as she shook her hand at last.
"Fair enough, Doctor Song."