Nothing in my World Goes Right
Before I begin, let me post the yaoi warning. Daiken/Kensuke. And a little Taito/Yamachi. Yes, there's Daiken/Kensuke in a fanfic narrated by Yolei. Hence the title. And yes, I, Kawaii Li'l Lia, have thrown in some Taito/Yamachi. You'll see. It's all good. And remember, I don't like Yolei, so she's portrayed the way she is for a reason. Flames (if I get any, considering I hardly get reviews anymore) will be used to light chemicals on fire and watch them change pretty colors.
Life is so unfair! I feel like I'm always getting ripped off somehow, that I always get the short end of the stick. Oh sure, I'm blessed with intelligence and ravishing good looks, but that's about it. First of all, I'm the youngest in my family. Everyone pays attention to my brother and sisters, but do they care what Yolei wants? Hell no! Some days I wish I were an only child. And then there's my biggest concern. I saved the world…several times in fact. Life as we know it would've ceased to exist had it not been for me. Any gratification? Yeah, right. And I don't mean like cash or fame or my own TV series…which would be nice. I mean, there are no guys worshipping me and throwing themselves at my feet! I want a boyfriend!
It's not like I couldn't get one. It's just that the ones I want are always the ones I can't have. You know? Like my first crush, Izzy? He's a complete and utter genius, as smart as they come. Given the time, he could probably figure out the square root of negative one. He lives for computers and anything analytical, kinda like a guy me. Only problem is, he's so much of a tekkie, he has no need for a girlfriend…or even a boyfriend for that matter.
Yeah, so then I started focusing my attention on the boy who lives a few floors down in my apartment building, T.K. He's so nice, he's the nicest guy I've ever met. He's always smiling, always cheerful…except when he's raving about the powers of darkness and how evil must be eliminated at all costs. T.K. is pretty cute too, for somebody a year younger than me. Sadly, Kari thinks so too. Kari's his girlfriend; she's this goody-goody little cheerful twerp that I'm partnered with when it comes to jogress evolutions. I really don't care if she's known T.K. forever, and that he saved her life a couple of times, and that they impaled their brothers with magic arrows together! Sometimes Kari isn't so bad, she's just too damn cheerful.
But he hardly compares to Matt, his seventeen-year-old sex god of an older brother. Oh my God, is he gorgeous! He's always wearing such tight pants, and oh, he's got the cutest ass! And his eyes, they're so incredibly blue. But when he speaks, it's like every word somehow translates to "ravish me." Once again, a guy I have no chance with. He too, has a girlfriend. Sora. And she's more of a twerp than Kari! She's this sickly-sweet overnurturing too kind for her own good girl, and she's supposed to be one of my 'elder mentors!' I can't stand her! I would rather work in my parents' convenience store for the rest of my life than aspire to be like Sora!
After Matt, there aren't a whole lot of options left. I hate, loathe, and despise Davis, so there is no way on God's green earth I'll ever date him. And since he is more or less the Mini-Me clone of Tai, the original Digidestined leader and Kari's older brother, I have no intentions on dating him either. As for Joe, he's cute, he's smart, but he hyperventilates over everything so I don't think I'll be going out with him anytime soon. And no, I will not date Cody. Ever. Period. He's like five years younger than I am! That's robbing the cradle! Ick! And don't even get me started on international relationships, those never pan out either. Willis, Michael, Yuri, all of them end up with other girlfriends…or worse, boyfriends. So, that leaves…
Ken. That leaves the ultimate in crush perfection. Ken Ichijouji is the epitome of all things good and rightly in the world. He's a genius. He's kind, and he's starting to develop more of a sunshiny personality. But he still has all the mysterious brooding and godly good looks. All three of my perfect candidates in one neat little huggable package. He'd be such a good husband. I've got this all planned out. He works as a detective, I'm a housewife, we have three kids, two boys and a girl, and our lives are perfectly wonderful! All that's missing is the fact that he hasn't even asked me out yet. No biggie.
~*~
I'm a sophomore this year at Odaiba High School, Tai and the lot of them are juniors…though I think Matt's taking a few senior classes since he's almost a year older than they are…not as old as Joe, though. T.K. and them are freshmen, and boy, do they look stupid in our 'lucky leprechaun' Odaiba High uniforms. These must be the ugliest uniforms on the face of the earth. Even the great and goodly sex god Ishida can't make the whole green ensemble work. But this should be a good year for high school, since Ken transferred from Tamachi to Odaiba. He lives with Davis during the week, poor thing, and goes home over the weekend so his parents can see him and stuff. They also integrated the homerooms this year too. See, last year and previous years they were just by grade, but now all the grades are mixed into homerooms, which are done alphabetically. Putting me, Yolei Inoue, with Matt, Ken, and Izzy. My life is now blessed.
So I was sitting in homeroom, trying oh so very hard not to fall asleep. Hawkmon wouldn't let me go to bed last night until I had perfectly recited this stupid poem I have to give a presentation on in English. I hate it; it's such a depressing poem! I mean, with words like "Daddy, Daddy, you bastard…" really! Anyway, I was half conscious, Izzy was still working on the square root of negative one…it's an irrational number but he's convinced he can solve it. I know he will, he's Izzy, genius of all geniuses. Matt was sitting atop Ken's desk, talking with him. Matt's gone and 'adopted' Ken as a second brother, seeing as how T.K. doesn't live with him and avoids acknowledging the fact that the great Teenage Wolf is related to him. Ken looks up to Matt too, because they're both angsty, and they were both evil, and they're both deadly gorgeous.
"I don't know, Matt. You're sure?"
"Positive. I may be the Bearer of Friendship, but love is my strong suit."
"Because of Sora?" he asked, no hint of derision in his voice at all.
Matt shook his head. "Nah, I've just learned from plenty of past mistakes to know enough. This will work, I know it."
Talking about love, huh? Sounds like Ken needs some advice on romance. Maybe he's having a hard time figuring out how to express his feelings towards a certain lavender-haired vixen sitting in this seat right here?
"I hope you're right."
"Ken, in all the time you've known me, have I ever been wrong?"
"…No."
"Exactly."
Oh, this will be a very shibby day. I ace my poetry reading, wipe the gym's freshly waxed floor with Davis in the volleyball tourney, and get asked out by Ken. Yes, Yolei, things may be looking up.
~*~
Things are definitely looking down. Down, down, into the tenth level of Hell kind of down. I aced my poetry reading, but bombed a bio test. Then my team was creamed by that ignoramus goggle-head. Stupid, stupid Davis. Some days I wish he had gotten squashed by Metalgreymon. But I know Ken's going to ask me out. I just know it.
I headed over to the junior high, where Cody's still stuck in the nether-realms of un-high school-ness. We used to meet there a lot, go to the Digital World or hang out. Not any more though. We haven't even been back to the Digiworld since…man, a few months at least. Up in the computer room was where we'd go, Izzy had the master key to it, so it was always accessible. These days, if we meet, we'll do it at somebody's house and get a pizza. Tai complains because back in the day, they would meet in the park. There would be no party whatsoever, and the only thing that wasn't serious about the Digidestined get-togethers would be Mimi…but Mimi's my idol so I usually stick up for her during these rants. She's so cool, she lives in New York, her parents drive this cute little red sports car, she has her own credit card, and she's the most fashionable person I know! I love her!
I headed up to the computer room, because if there's anywhere Ken will be, that's it, eagerly anticipating him saying three little words I've been waiting for since the first time I saw him. The door was shut, he was in there, talking to himself. I thought I'd give him a few minutes to compose himself before I made my grand entrance.
"I'm going to make such a fool out of myself. How is it that saying 'I love you' can be so hard? All right, calm down Ken. Let's see…I've loved you since we first met…no, that's not right. I hated you back then because I was still the Emperor. You're all I think about…no, that sounds too obsessive. Oh, I'll never get this right. Hmm…I love you, and I want to be your boyfriend?"
I tossed the door open and flew to his arms. "Yes, Ken! Oh, yes!"
What I didn't know is that Ken looked stricken. "What?! I, um…Yolei…"
"I love you, Ken, and I promise I'll be the best girlfriend you could ask for!"
"But Yolei I…"
Just then Davis walked in, and he looked thunderstruck. Ken blanched, gasping quickly.
"Oh, so this is what you wanted to talk to me about, Ken? You're going out with Yolei?"
"Davis, no, Davis…" he stammered.
"Stay with your girlfriend tonight, you're not welcome in my house anymore," he spat, coldly walking out. Ken let out a dry sob, jerking from my arms and chasing after that maroon-haired freak.
"Davis!"
"Wha? Ken! Hey!" I called after the retreating bluenette, very perturbed that my boyfriend is paying more attention to the great goggle-boy than me, his lovely darling.
Well! That was certainly confusing! So as I was standing there, trying to use my brilliant mind to figure out just what the hell happened, Cody decided to grace the scenario with his presence.
"Yolei…did something just happen? Ken ran by a few minutes ago, and he looked more upset than he usually does."
"I can honestly say I have no idea, Cody."
He frowned, which is a very creepy expression for Cody. I hate when he makes that face.
"This is bad," he stated. "I'm going to find Matt, this sounds like something up his alley."
"Yeah, I'll see where Ken ran off to."
It didn't take much to find Ken. He was sitting outside on a wooden park bench cast into the shadows. And crap, did he look suicidal. What the hell did I do? Nothing! I have done nothing wrong, I swear! He was in there professing his love, he must have known I was outside the door, otherwise he wouldn't have said anything, right? Oh God, what if he wasn't talking about me? No, that's impossible. He loves me, I know he does. There's not a doubt in my mind…oh, here comes Matt. Holy Aquilamon, can he run. No wonder Mr. Fujisawa wants him to run track this winter.
"Ken! What…what happened?"
I couldn't understand anything Ken said, he was sobbing at that point, his head buried in Matt's shoulder. The look on the great god Ishida's face was nothing short of fury. I don't know what I did, because I obviously did something, but I sure as hell am not going near that upperclassman. He'd kill me!
"Matt!"
Oh shit, now I'm in trouble. Tai came sprinting over, and he looked just as displeased as his blonde counterpart. He must've spoken with Davis…I don't know what Davis is all hyped up about, but I think it has to do with me and Ken. Oh, what if he likes me? I think I'm gonna hurl. Davis? Liking me? Ew!
"What has he said?" Matt asked in a voice that could boil lead in seconds.
"Not much, not much that wasn't a long string of curses in several languages."
"Damn. How could this have happened?"
"You're blaming yourself. Stop that."
"Taichi, we have to do something!"
Tai glared ominously at Matt. "What do you want me to do, Yamato? Wave my arms and make it all better? Do I look like some kind of fecking Harry Potter to you?"
Oh, this is bad. This is beyond bad. Matt and Tai haven't fought in ages! And they never use each other's full names! Oh God, what have I done?
Now would be a good time for a hasty retreat. As I started making a quick getaway, who should show up to join our little party but Sora? My own mentor!
"Hi Yolei! What are the guys doing?" she asked cheerfully, as if she couldn't hear Matt shouting at Tai…oops, make that punching Tai…nope, make that Tai punching Matt…
"Um…fighting…and crying…and being very upset over something that I might have done to get them to this point."
Sora went pale, her cow-ish brown eyes wide. "Oh no. Oh Yolei, please tell me…come on. We need to go talk. Now."
~*~
We headed over to the school's culinary department, a nice little non-Starbucks café. Sora bought a muffin, and I sat there, twitching nervously. At least I'm facing Sora. Anyone else and I'd be looking for a back exit to sneak out of.
"Yolei, do you have any idea what you walked into back there?" she asked calmly, unwrapping her muffin.
"Um…something that didn't concern me?"
She sighed, breaking off a section of baked good, popping it in her mouth, and chewing it thoughtfully.
"Well, sort of. See, it's been sort of a little ongoing project of Matt and Tai's to…well, what they wanted…um…oh…Ken and Davis are in love with each other."
Though Sora was the one with the muffin, I choked.
Davis.
And Ken.
No.
Fecking.
Way.
"Yeah," Sora continued, "so Matt and Tai have been trying to get them together for…almost a year, I think. Davis and Ken were supposed to meet so they could talk, but I guess you…"
"I can't believe this! I just can't believe this! Ken isn't gay! He just isn't! It's so…so wrong! No, no, I refuse to believe this. This just isn't true. You're just making this all up so I don't feel hurt that Ken rejected me. That's right. This is all a big cover-up."
"I'm sorry, Yolei."
"Sorry? Sorry?! Sora, how would you feel if you professed your affection to the one man you loved more than anything in life, to find out he could never have feelings for you because he was gay? You have absolutely no idea how…"
"Matt's bisexual. He and Tai dated before either of them even thought about me," she said quietly.
"Sora, we're talking about my love life, I really don't need to hear about…what?!"
"I'm perfectly all right with that. The only reason they aren't dating still is because they thought it was just too awkward. They were better off as friends…though sometimes I wonder if they don't still love each other."
"Oh God," I moaned. "Now I can't look at Matt anymore either!"
"Yolei!" she snapped. I've never heard Sora sound stern before. It was scary. "You…I can't believe you! You've got to be the worst homophobe I've ever seen! Ken and Davis…and Matt and Tai…are the same as we are. It doesn't matter who they're in love with, as long as they're happy. I'm open and accepting of that, and I hope you can be, too."
"No," I replied bitterly, not caring whose feelings I hurt. "It's wrong, and I don't care what you or Mimi or Hawkmon or anyone else thinks. Ken is my boyfriend!"
I ran from the café at that point, leaving stupid Sora with her stupid muffin. I didn't care who saw me cry, or where I was going, or if I ran out into open traffic. It wasn't fair. I wanted Ken. There was no place in my perfect fantasy for him to love Davis. I could easily block out the whole 'Matt is bi' thing, I mean, he still likes girls…he'll still gladly make out with Sora…though I still wish it were me. But Ken…infallibly gay? No. I won't allow this.
~*~
Seeing as how I'm the omnipotent narrator and not that ditzy, klutzy, stupid brunette twit who usually runs the show…her and her stupid longhaired friend…the one who sings too much and watches dumb Dragonball Z and spills chocolate milk on herself…I can be in charge of peering in on other people's lives. So I will. Let's go find Ken, see where my darling love is at this very moment.
"Thank you, again. I don't want to inconvenience you, or be a burden. But since I don't have a home right now because…because…" Ken's voice cracked as tears rose in his throat again.
"Hey, I'm glad to be putting you up for a few nights. Matt told me what happened…in between ranting like a thing possessed. I'm sure things will blow over in a few days and Davis will forget this ever happened," T.K. replied, slinging an arm around his shoulder. Don't tell me T.K.'s gay too! Please! One by one, each and every one of them is going queer. Just kill me now.
"He won't. He won't forget, just like I won't forget the hurt on his face when he walked in. I just don't know what to do. I wish I were more like you, or Tai, or Matt. Davis doesn't deserve me."
"Don't you dare say that!"
"But what can I do, T.K.? He'll never want to speak to me again! I can't live without him, but at the rate I'm going that may just happen. I must be cursed. Awful things are always happening to me."
"We've all had our fair share of troubles, Ken. Just look at my family! We're more dysfunctional than those Osbournes!" T.K. pointed out. "Every single one of us, from Mimi to Kari to Joe, we've all got our problems. You're not being singled out for extra punishment. It's just part of life. I'm positive it's going to work out just fine."
"Well, if you think so…"
"I know it!"
"Me too!" Patamon chimed in, flapping in from another room. "You and Davis go together like…like…well, like peanut butter and pickles!"
"Ugh, not a good example, Patamon," T.K. groaned.
"Yeah, I know. I was hard pressed for one. Besides, I came in to tell you that Jun Motomiya's on the phone for you."
"Funny, I didn't hear the phone ring," Ken mentioned.
"Yeah, your mom's on the Internet, so the call waiting clicked onscreen."
T.K. picked up the receiver from the phone next to their couch. "Hi Jun."
"Hey T.K. Ken's with you, right? He didn't come home, and Mom got worried."
"Yeah, he's with me."
"That's good. I tried calling your brother, but the line was busy. He's not avoiding me, is he? I did apologize for the whole stalking thing."
"Oh, he wouldn't avoid you. He's too cool for that. Besides, Dad usually calls him right about now. So…is Davis still mad?"
"Furious. He's got Chibimon afraid to go near him. I've never seen him so incensed!"
"Yeah, things are a pretty big mess right now. See if you can calm him down, nothing's going to get solved if he's still mad."
"Calumon and I will do whatever we can. See ya later!"
A/N: Since this story takes place two years after the Oikawa incident, everyone has digimon now. I just thought a Calumon would be a good partner for Jun. They're both a little nuts!
"He's still mad?" Ken asked after T.K. hung up.
"Yeah. Jun's going to try and tame him, and we'll see what happens from there."
"I'm almost afraid to go to school tomorrow. I don't want him punching my face in."
"He won't. You've got a black belt, remember? And we could always nab a couple of kendo sticks from Cody on the way to school."
Ken smiled weakly. "Thanks, T.K. I'm glad you're my friend."
"Any time, Ichijouji, any time."
Oh good, they're just friends. I was getting worried there for a minute. All right, so I'm a homophobe. It's just so wrong, though! Couples are supposed to be boy and girl. No exceptions. It's…it's…unethical! Hey…a thought just came to me. If Ken and Davis never make up, then maybe Ken will need somebody to turn to. Like me! Oh, maybe causing this huge fight wasn't so bad after all.
~*~
"Mo! Give it ba-ack! You're not being fair!"
"Quit whining, Chizz, it's only a comic!"
"Is not! It's the next issue of MARS, and I haven't read it yet! I need to know what happens to Rei and Kira! I wanna see if Harumi tries anything else!"
Oh lovely, my sisters are home. I have two older sisters and an older brother; he's off at college so I never see him anymore. As for my sisters, Momoe, Mo for short, is Jun Motomiya's age. Chizuru, or Chizz, is the same age as Matt. They don't get along with each other, they don't get along with me, we have a lovely sibling relationship.
"Hey Yolei. How was school today? Any cute guys ask you out?" Mo questioned.
"Any girls, for that matter?" Chizz chimed in teasingly.
"Don't wanna talk about it," I mumbled, flipping channels.
"Uh oh, what happened? Ken Ichijouji give you the cold shoulder? Or did Matt Ishida finally tell you off?"
"Actually, Ken's in an emotional state of shock because I thought he was trying to ask me out when in reality he was attempting to ask Davis out, which is completely disgusting and unnatural, and then I find out from Matt's own girlfriend that he had a boyfriend before he started dating her! And I'm stuck in the middle of this mess!"
Mo and Chizz blinked, Mo dropping the manga book in her hand.
"Wow. Some day."
"Can you go one day without screwing somebody's life up, Yolei? I mean, really!"
I growled at the two of them. "Some help you guys are. I was hoping you would have some sisterly advice or something useful."
"You need advice, talk to Hawkmon. As for me, I'm taking my book back. Kiwimon and I have a date with some chocolate covered rice balls and a bishounen," Chizz stated, picking up her copy of MARS. It's a good manga, the main guy looks like Matt.
"Yeah, Penmon and I have some studying to do ourselves," Mo added, heading to her own room.
A/N: Penmon is a purple penguin. Thought the other Inoue girls should keep with the bird theme.
So, now my sisters know about my dilemma and do they care? No. Am I going to get any help? No. Will I be slaughtered in school tomorrow by any one of the other Digidestined? Hell yeah. I'm as good as dead. I wish I knew a good lawyer that could make out a quick will. Oh well, this story can serve as my last will and testament. I, Yolei Inoue, being of sound mind and body, do bequeath all of my possessions to…uh…oh, forget it. They won't kill me, Hawkmon wouldn't let them.
~*~
If ever there was a day I didn't want to go to school, today would be it. I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna…
"Hi Yolei!"
Oh, it's Kari. And she sounds perky, like she usually does. Maybe her perkiness is merely a ruse, a trick to make me think everything's all right and then wham! I get my nose broken and my teeth knocked out and my spleen ruptured and…
"Catch last night's episode of Love Hina? It was a rerun, but it was one of the really good ones. Guess I heard that they're running the OVA versions of Rayearth in a miniseries in a couple of weeks too."
I blinked. "Kari? Are you being serious or are you trying to talk to me about the whole Davis and Ken thing?"
"Um…a little of both. Actually, I didn't get to see all of the show because I couldn't hear it over Tai. He spent half the night on the phone."
"Yelling at Matt?"
"Davis, though he's still not too enthralled with Matt, either."
"…Does this mean you aren't mad at me? Cuz just about everyone else is and…"
Kari sighed. "I can't say I'm happy, but I don't like the whole Davis and Ken thing myself. It was weird enough with my own family."
"Parents freak out?"
"Practically disowned Tai. They had this huge fight, doors slamming, screaming; I think somebody broke a vase. A few days later, Tai came home from soccer practice practically in tears."
"They broke up?" I hazarded. "Because of your parents? Ouch."
"Yeah, it wasn't as nasty as this, though. What do you think about it?"
I grinned. "I think that somehow I'm gonna end up with a whole mess of boyfriends because everyone's gonna be breaking up over this one."
Kari gave me a cold glare. "That's just twisted."
"I'm kidding! I'm kidding! Besides, the only one I want is Ken, and at the rate we're going I may just get him."
The first bell rang, meaning one has ten minutes to be in homeroom or you're toast. Kari started off towards hers, I towards mine. As she left, I caught her saying something quietly.
"I don't think you will, Yolei. I don't think you will."
Now what's that supposed to mean? I won't win out? I won't get Ken? What kind of a story is this? It's about me! I'm telling it, it should work out for me, right? So why do I have the sinking suspicion that it won't?
~*~
Time now to be omnipotent again! I'm enjoying being the narrator. I hate being stuck in the middle of this damn argument, but I like the powers of narration. Yeah, so let's go somewhere and see what's going on. Just because I'm bored and nobody's talking to me, you know?
"Hey, what are you doing?"
"Not much, why?"
"I wanted to apologize for the other day. Now is really not the time for the two of us to be fighting."
"I agree. I retract all statements made against you."
"Same here."
Matt sighed, rummaging through his sock drawer with one hand, cordless phone in the other. You thought it was Davis and Ken, didn't you? You thought wrong! Ha!
"Any plan of action yet, fearless leader?"
"Not a one. You hear what Yolei said to Kari?"
"She's gonna get Ken no matter what? Yeah, she told that to Sora."
"Delusional fruit loop."
"Going through that same phase Sora did when it was us."
"Yeah, but Sora lucked out."
Matt chuckled, coming across a couple of old photos from back when he and Tai were still…you know. Ugh, I can't even picture it. Yuck. And why are they in his sock drawer anyway? I tell you, that is one odd teenager.
"So she did. You've talked to Davis?"
"Tried to. Was on with him for three hours, and he's as stubborn as ever."
"Yeah, T.K. tells me Ken's a wreck."
"Doesn't give us many options."
"I know. We'll think of something."
"We always do. I've gotta get going, talk to you at lunch tomorrow."
"All right. I'll call around, see who's still talking to whom."
"Sounds like a plan to me. I'll see you later."
"Mm. I still love you, Tai. It'll work for us someday, I promise."
"Nah, you'll end up marrying Sora, become filthy rich, and name the brattiest, worst behaved of your kids after me. But if it makes you feel better, I still love you too."
Ugh, gag me with a spoon. That was disgusting. Please, you fetid author chick, don't make me narrate anything like that again! My poor little homophobic heart can't bear any more! Well, at least Matt and Tai aren't fighting anymore. That's a good thing…I guess.
~*~
Homeroom was weird today. Izzy's still mad because his computer crashed, Ken is sort of speaking to Matt but not really, and Matt's back to being his usual self. As for me, I was doing trig that I forgot to do last night. Damn cosines. What's the need?
"It's hard, isn't it?"
I nearly jumped out of my seat. As it is, I launched my pencil three rows over. After I recovered from my heart attack, I looked up and realized Matt was standing over me.
"Hmm? No, trig isn't that hard, just annoying."
He rolled his eyes. "I didn't mean the trig. I meant this whole…"
"Look, I really don't want to talk about it right now."
"Yolei, you have to understand, though," Matt sighed, hopping up onto an unoccupied desktop, folding his hands around one knee. "This is what happened to me. I had to suffer like Ken is now. The only difference is that I never had somebody to tell me, 'hey, love should know no boundaries, screw what the Kamiya's think, love him anyways.' So we resorted to the only option we had that didn't involve endangering ourselves."
"And I'm the Sora? Is that right?" Just then a revelation came to my thoughts. "Oh my God, you're not in love with Sora!"
Matt blushed, his gorgeous face turning scarlet. "No, I love Sora. But there's still part of my heart that belongs to Tai, and nothing can change that. I know you love Ken, but so does Davis."
"I won't give him up. Sora didn't give up, and she ended up dating the both of you!" I pointed out.
"All right, you got me there. But that was because while we loved each other, Tai and I both felt that we loved her as well. No offense, but I don't think Ken or Davis feels that way about you."
He jumped down from his perch and headed back to his own desk as our teacher came in to do attendance and all that homeroom junk. Oh, now I feel just great about myself. Ken doesn't like me? No way! I really can't believe that. But…I know it's true. Damn. Guilty conscience, guilty conscience!
~*~
How in the world am I going to fix this? I mean, Matt more or less told me it was all my fault, do something about it. So what do I do? Wait a minute…I might have an idea. Heh, it might work, too. More often than not, my fiendish schemes fall a little flat.
"Hey Ken," said I as I caught sight of him in the hallway. "Meet me in the computer lab after school. I need help…um…checking the digiport calibrations."
He blinked, his violet eyes bloodshot. "I guess I could give you a hand."
As we were doing the mortally despised walk-jog in phys ed, I casually approached the still-obstinate Davis.
"Hi. You think you could meet me in the computer lab later? Izzy uploaded this sick two-player game to one of the computers, and I think you'd…"
"I'll be there. Just get ready to lose, Inoue," he said with a twisted grin. If there's one thing Davis cannot resist, it's a challenge. He once went without sleep for twenty-four hours because he was stuck in a killer ping-pong fight with T.K.
All right, so I have the players and the stage. Now all I need is to get any object that could be used as a weapon out of the computer room between now and then. Otherwise, we'll have to get Joe and an ambulance on standby.
~*~
This had to be the worst plan I have ever come up with. Here I was, locked in the computer lab with Davis and Ken. And Davis was still irate at Ken! And both of them hate me! Oh God, please have mercy on my soul! Please, please, please…
"Yolei, why is he here?" they both asked me at once.
I sighed heavily. "Because I lied to both of you so I could get you here to talk. So let me say my piece before you go ranting, raving, and killing each other. Okay?"
"Fine," they snarled.
"Good. I jumped to a huge conclusion, and that's why you two are mad at each other. As much as I want to, I'm not going out with Ken. I heard him talking to himself in the computer room, and thought he was talking about me. So when he asked if he could be somebody's boyfriend, I assumed he meant me and jumped in. That's where you came in, Davis. So…how about we start at Monday afternoon again and do it right this time? I'll sit back and play Fate, and you two just meet like you were supposed to before I screwed it all up."
"I guess."
"What harm can come?" Ken sighed, agreeing. I went and sat on top of a computer table, stock-still as Davis left.
Ken started pacing the room, and then stopped and turned towards me. "Thank you, Yolei. What changed your mind?"
"The thought of being pummeled to death by Matt and Tai. That, and the fact that I'm the neo-Digidestined of Love, so it's an obligation."
Just then Davis slid the door open and stepped in. He didn't look as angry as he did three minutes ago. Somewhere between my explanation and going out into the hall he must've calmed down.
"Hey Ken, what'd you need to talk to me about that couldn't be said at lunch?"
The cobalt-haired genius faltered. "I…um…uh…"
Davis smiled gently. "You can tell me. I'm your best friend."
"Davis, I, that is…um…well…" he stammered, blushing.
"Would you just say it, Ken? Come on!" I groaned from my corner.
Davis shot me a dark glance. "What happened to no interference from you?"
Ken took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. "Davis…I love you. I have for a long time."
"No kidding? That's what Yolei heard you saying that got her clinging to you like a ferret on a cupcake?"
"What?!" I squawked.
"Ken, I love you too. If you'll still have me, I want to be your boyfriend."
The violet-eyed boy nodded, throwing his arms around the shorter boy's neck, starting to cry. I started to feel nauseous, but at the same time it felt good to know that I helped these two to get together…or back together.
"Now let's go break into T.K.'s house, steal all your stuff back, and you can come back home with me, where you belong."
They had that kissy look, the one everybody gets in the movies or a really cheesy romantic manga book. I left right before the sparkles, bubbles and roses started floating in the air. On my way down the hall towards the stairwell, I passed Tai and Matt. They were heading towards the computer room.
"Don't go in there," I warned them.
"Why? Davis tossing computers into the wall?" Tai queried.
"The opposite. I think he and Ken are making out or something. I left before I had to watch that."
The two elder Digidestined grinned and quickened their pace.
"You think we should dump Gatorade on them?"
"Why would we do that?"
"Come on, Matt, haven't you ever watched an American football game? They always dump Gatorade on the winning team's coach!"
"But we're the coaches. Wouldn't we get doused with Gatorade?"
"…Good point. Forget what I said, then."
Oh boy. I think I'm going to turn the rest of this over to the fecking author girl and her dippy friend, I'm not going near any of that shounen-ai junk. Eck. Oh well, looks like I'll have to turn my attention to a new prospective lover. Hmm, there's a new boy in my geometry class. Looks like I'll have to work my charms on him…
~*~
I have indeed taken back the narration for this last scene change of the story, because I know you yaoi advocates want all the gory kissing details. (That's the best part!)
The holders of Courage and Friendship slid the door open quietly, slipping into the room without a sound. They glanced over at Ken and Davis, who were too…preoccupied to notice they were there. Davis had Ken backed against the wall, kissing him madly, their mouths working frantically against one another. The shorter boy's tanned hands were running along his love's sides, the slender fingers of the boy genius buried in his maroon hair.
"I told you we should've gotten them together sooner," Tai muttered, punching his blonde counterpart in the side.
Matt shrugged, leaning over and kissing his cheek softly. "We did a good job on them, Tai."
"Yeah. Shame, though. Now we don't have anyone to matchmake. I had fun with that."
"I don't know. There's what, nine months until junior prom? Plenty of time to find Izzy a nice little somebody to hook up with."
Davis and Ken broke their kisses long enough to glare at their mentors.
"Do you mind? We're trying to have a sentimental moment here," Davis snapped.
"Just ignore us," Tai stated.
"You usually do anyways," Matt added.
And so, once again, love triumphs and Yolei loses yet another boyfriend. This author almost feels bad for her, but then again, she really doesn't like Yolei, so all her remorse has gone right out the window like a reading anthology chucked from a second-story classroom.
~*~
This was probably one of the funnest fanfics to write. It's especially dedicated to Nicki, who poked me repeatedly until it was done. And to my Sorato friends, who I hope will forgive me for the random spontaneous Taito/Yamachi. I can actually tolerate it far better than when I first started in this business. And for the Yolei fans, I'm sorry for portraying her as such a boy-crazy slut, but I gave fair warning before this started. And a big apology to my own muse Yamato, because he's been preempted by Rei, the really sexy manga boy from MARS. You will go buy this book from wherever you get your manga. It's so good! And Rei looks like Yama! What more do you want? Reviews would be ducky, and I'll catch y'all later. Oh, and I'll make a big deal when my web comic over at http://lysandria.keenspace.com is actually functioning. Until then, my darlings!