"And then Lucifer said 'Castiel, did you just molotov my brother with holy fire?'" the woman read. "And Castiel said 'No,' shaking his head. Lucifer raised his hand ... "
"How charming." A voice from across the room interrupted. "Reading your little princess a selection of her tortuous family history."
The woman gasped as her head flew up. She dropped the book, wrapping both hands more tightly around the child on her lap. "Crowley!"
"Hello, darling." the man leaning against the doorframe smiled. "Long time, no see. What's it been, going on two years now?"
"I don't want to make a deal!" she shrieked, shoving the chair backwards with her feet.
The baby began to cry.
"Ah, Becky," he chided. "Now look what you've done." He walked slowly toward them. "You've upset little miss Samantha Deanne." He stopped directly in front of the rocking chair, reaching out a finger to brush a wispy strand of brown hair off the child's brow. "She does look like her father, doesn't she? What does he say about that?" Crowley raised his hand to his chin. "Oh, that's right, you haven't told him, have you? Just like you neglected to mention to your dear husband that you poked holes in the condoms with a sewing needle while he was in the shower." The demon smirked. "I'm curious, love. Exactly how long were you married? Was it longer than Brittney Spears' first marriage? I brokered that deal, by the way. Not my fault the poor sod had overestimated the little chit's affections for him. Much like you and your beloved moose."
"It wasn't supposed to turn out this way!" Becky defended. "Your crossroads demon lied to me!"
"No, my dear," Crowley shrugged. "You lied to yourself. You convinced yourself that the greatest pair of hunters who ever lived wouldn't notice anything suspicious if one of them suddenly decided to play house with you. You told yourself that by the time you weaned Sam off the love potion and announced you were pregnant, he would be so enamoured with you that he would choose you over his brother. If you believe half the things you've written, you've no justification to believe that."
"If the only reason you're here is to make fun of me and put me down, you can just leave!" Becky answered forcefully, despite the tears in her eyes. "I get enough of that every time I set foot out of the house."
The demon made a face of disgust and shook his head. "Darling, do you really think the King of Hell has nothing better to do than repudiate unwed mothers? Please. You wound me."
"Then what do you want?" She looked up at him in puzzlement.
"Becky, you really should give yourself more credit." Crowley tipped a finger at her before returning his hand to his chin. "See, you were born into the most annoyingly boring normal family imaginable. You endured an exceptionally subdued childhood, to graduate college with an English degree, and become a mid-level clerk at a mid-level publishing house. By your own reckoning, you are a geek and don't fit into society. You're practically a hermit, living vicariously through your internet friends, only one or two of whom would recognize you if they were to meet you in person, and spend your spare time writing smutty incestuous fan fiction." He smirked. "Which is quite entertaining to read, by the way. But I digress. My point is, you have ambition. You wanted Sam Winchester, so you took it upon yourself to find a way to make it happen. You wanted his offspring, although I cannot begin to imagine why, so once again, you found a way to attain your goal, all on your own. You have great potential, darling. That's why I would like to offer you an internship."
A range of emotions passed across her features before settling somewhere between disbelief and fear. "I can't be your intern." She looked down at her child. "I have Sammi to take care of."
"An admirable answer, but no." He held his hands out toward the baby. "No matter what your answer, I'm afraid she's coming with me this evening."
Becky's eyes widened and she clutched her daughter against her chest. "No! You can't take her! She's only 8 months old! She's not a threat to you!"
Crowley laughed mirthlessly. "She's a Winchester. At some point, sooner rather than later, she will be a threat to me. But right now, she's a bargaining chip."
He snapped his fingers, and two black eyed demons appeared. One took Sammi from her mother while the other restrained Becky.
"Let's be civilized about this, shall we?" Crowley raised an eyebrow. "There are great advantages to being in my favor. Generally a pet moose is not one of them, but I wouldn't rule out the possibility if he could be successfully domesticated. But with the power I'm willing to give you, it's likely you will find you could do better than a former demon blood junkie with self destructive tendencies and daddy issues bigger than he is." Crowley smiled evilly. "Now, darling, what is your answer?"
A/N - I have no excuse. It's just something that popped into my head. I know the show had to explicitly state their marriage was never consummated over the whole non-con/dub-con issue, but seriously, do you not think Becky would have had Sam?