This takes place a month after Esme was changed. It gives us an insight on what she was thinking during those times. I hope you'll like this. One-shot. Read. Enjoy. Review. :]

I don't own anything.

The soft trickle of the pouring rain saturated my whole body in a boundless repeating pattern. With eyes closed, the feeling of the gentle wind coming from the north made me think about flying. The rustle of leaves with the rain and wind around me sounded like a symphony. I smiled at the sensations.

A long night it had been and here I was in the middle of a thick forest silently contemplating. The moon shone brightly behind the massive trees casting an adequate light from where I was sitting. An old trunk had passed for a chair and I was comfortable enough even though I could stand for years. A part of me knew that even back in my past life I often did this kind of thing… to find tranquility. It was not often that I could escape from the old house and find a comforting place. The monster would eventually notice me absent from the blankets of a stuffy bed, beside him.

The hate and anger clouded my still crimson eyes and the venom curdled in my mouth. I cleared my mind by taking a lungful of air. This was the thing I despised the most—to be repulsive as to think like a monster. I never wanted to be like that… to be a killer. I did not want to be like the once beast who had tortured me in the past. Horrible things had happened to me and I knew that if revenge had completely taken my mind set, I would be the monster, the killer… even though how justified I would be. It was not right.

The most vivid memories of my former life still lingered in the vast majority of my endless and spacious mind. Would I be able to forget them? Fill my impossible infinite mind with only the most pleasant things? I could not say. The crushing blows and hard slaps were so much to bear and I want to completely forget about them. But every time I close my eyes, the scornful face of the monster assaulted me unceasingly. His threatening dark eyes were only focused on my face—not seeing for the vileness had entirely taken possession of his incomprehensible mentality. He never saw the constant fright in my eyes, the cuts and bruises in my skin, the quiver of my lips, and the anguish on my face. He never saw me because for him, I was just a rag doll—ready to be beaten up with wicked pleasure. For him, I was not human… a helpless and weak woman. That enough, would make him the most repulsive person in the face of the planet.

I clutched my abdomen and almost broke down with sorrow. It was only a month ago that it was big and round. My child was taken from me only after a week he was born. I could still remember his little face and the blueness of his eyes that he had taken from me; the darkness of his thin hair; the fairness of his skin. A week. The amount of time always set me on edge. Why couldn't I be with my son for as long as I could be? Why couldn't I give him the love that was never given to me? Was I that of an insignificant person so as to let me suffer under the hands of a monster husband for years and then the death of my week old son? Never had I thought that I could ever have just a pint of luck in my life.

All of these things had affected me in so many ways that I did not have any idea how I could survive. The light in the candle suddenly disintegrated and I could see no more. The purpose in my life was gone… the whole meaning. My parents never cared for me, my husband abused me, and my son had died in my hands. Was there anything to live for? None. And so I killed myself by jumping off a cliff.

But never in my whole life would I give a thought of suffering the most tormenting pain—the ravaging fire. In my subconscious mind, I never thought that the fire would end. But it did. And the unexpected thing was that I saw the face of my angel—the doctor who had treated me a decade earlier. He was the kind man who had cared for me and smiled for me. He was the one who ever patted my hair and laugh just at the simple things I said. He was a remarkable man.

And he was the one who saved me… for the second time.

"What are you doing here?" a soft, familiar voice emerged from the trees behind me. I did not turn around for I already knew that I was safe with him.

"Mulling," I replied shortly and I heard him chuckle. A second after, he was already sitting beside me and I took the liberty to look at him. He was smiling kindly at me.

I had never given much thought on how he looked until now. There was something so beautiful about the planes and angles on his perfect face; the fairness of his hair under the moonlight; the kind sincerity that was always in his golden eyes; and the little smile on his lips. He was the most beautiful man I had ever laid eyes on. And he was also the purest and kindest.

"What are you thinking?" he asked once more and I hugged my knees whilst resting my chin atop. I averted my gaze towards the part hidden moon.

"I am thinking about how lucky I am to be with you." I spoke with a smile.

"I dare say I am the lucky one, though." His statement made me chuckle as I turned to look at him. His face appeared to be extremely delighted.

"What made you say that?" he pressed his lips together before answering.

"I am lucky for I met you once more," he paused and smiled. "The young girl of sixteen had left a big impact on me back then. Her soft billows of caramel hair, her then crystal blue eyes, her sweet big smile, her over-all happy personality."

My gaze shifted back down. "I am afraid that I am not the same person anymore."

A warm hand found the skin on my left arm. I did not flinch anymore at the contact of another man. The memory of him holding me down after I had woken up brought me back to the violence I had received. It took me moments to realize that he was not abusing me but instead, he was keeping me from attacking him. The shame still plagued me up to now. Never in my life would I assault the kindest man in existence.

"I will do my best, Esme." He whispered and it had taken me aback on how much sincerity there was in his voice. The invisible tears should have been falling from my eyes but I only managed to stifle a sob. In that instant, his full arms were wrapped around my shoulders and I leaned onto him. It felt so right to be in this position. It was like everything that had happened to me in the past did not matter anymore. For this man would heal me… I knew in my still heart that he would.

His right hand stroked my wet hair. The fact that it was still pouring rain did not occur to me a few moments ago. I noticed how his shirt squished as his hand repeated its rhythmic pattern on my hair. He was a man who cared for others than his own self. That he would sacrifice anything for the betterment of others, even himself. He was kind, intelligent, unselfish, caring… everything good that there was. He was the quintessence of a real man.

I burrowed my face on his chest and his sweet and minty scent engulfed me. We both enjoyed the silence—only hearing the sound of the rain, the leaves, the wind, and our quiet breathing. I closed my eyes once more and just thought about him… only him. He was my savior, he was my friend, he was my companion, he was my comfort, and he was my healer.

He was the person all I needed.

"Esme?" his voice seemed to add to the symphony of the nature around us. I opened my eyes.

"Yes?"

"Edward had told me what happened to you. I will not say anything about the matter but I assure you that everything will be alright from now on. You will not need to worry for I am always here. No one could ever hurt you again." He spoke determinedly and I caught a flash of anger in his eyes.

"Thank you… for everything." As I said those words, his eyes held the softest expression I had never seen in him. He smiled at me and I did, too. I leaned my head back to his chest and we resumed the silence that had filled us.

The moon illuminated a bright light towards us and it made me realize that he was the one who was slowly putting the light back into my life. The once dead candle was slowly igniting a flame. But it was not dull anymore. This time, the flame was dancing, pure… alive. The renewed feeling was much stronger, clearer… as if I was becoming whole again.

And it was all because of the exceptional man who was holding me in his arms…

…Carlisle.