New fic. I WON'T FORGET PARENT'S RESPOSIBILITY, do not worry people. This idea just struck me and didn't leave me alone.

This will get updated always when I get an idea and feel like writing it down.

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.

THE WOMANIZER

Chapter 1
Dog

Roy Mustang was having a terribly problem. Yes, you read right. A terrible, horrible, dreadful problem. Like 29 year old men always had. Usually for the sake of think about something else except paperwork, but sometimes the problems weren't only that. Sometimes they were very personal, huge problems.

See, he got women. He got them from everywhere. While a walk in the park, during dinner breaks, while shopping for groceries. But somehow all the ones he got were… well, one night stands. Amazing, yes. Breathtaking, yes. Sweating… yes.

But he couldn't find his true love. At nowadays it was hard to find women he hadn't already dated. And all the ones he had had hadn't been anything more than… well, the one night stands. Damn when he circled.

So, he needed new tactics. New ways to find women, new ways to get their interest, get them attracted to him. But how? There must've been thousands of ways, none just struck him. And it pissed him off. God, he was 29! At this age he should've already found someone! But no. Old habits die hard.

He raised his head and saw Havoc standing in front of his desk.

"What now?" he snarled and rubbed his eyes. And yawned. Yes, we can't just forget to mention that not-so-attractive action he made. But why should he be attractive when the only person in the room was Havoc?

"Hawkeye told me to give you these papers", Havoc muttered while chewing his cigarette. Had Roy seen him ever without it? No. No one had. Havoc dropped the papers on his table. Tens of them. Damn it, more work.

"Good luck with it. Hawkeye wants them to be finished tomorrow."

"Shit. I got to hurry if I want to have any free time." He grabbed the papers and started scanning them. Nothing interesting. Damn he had a boring job. He had always thought that being a Colonel would be awesome and full of action. But no. Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork and… yes, more paperwork.

Havoc was already at the door when Roy slapped his hands to get the man's attention. Havoc turned curiously.

"Hey Havoc, any ideas how to get women's attention?"

Havoc scratched his chin. "Not exactly. Having problems?"

"Major ones. I want to find nice and honest women. Do you know where they are or how to spot them?" He rested his head on his hands and glared at Havoc. Not that Havoc would've been an expert; he had no luck with women. But ideas from anywhere sounded good.

"Chief, what about getting a dog?"

Roy's eyes widened. "A dog? Why a dog?"

Havoc raised his shoulders. "Dunno. Women always come to talk to men who have dogs. They actually talk to everyone who has dogs. Always asking can they stroke or scratch them."

Bingo. That sounded promising. "Really? How do you know?"

"Hawkeye puts me take his dog on a walk. Says it needs more exercise than she has time for. Not that I mind, I actually got a girlfriend! She's so nice!" A wide smile rose on his face and his eyes glimmered. Roy decided to get rid of the man before a large speech.

"Thank you, Havoc. I'll get a dog."

There he was. He stepped out of the shop with a puppy.

The only problem now was that there hadn't been any dogs cool enough for him. Or if there was, they were all already taken. Just his luck. So now he had a pug.

Yes, people. A pug.

It was small, apricot with black snout and ears. It was already a little wrinkled and he knew that it was going to get a lot more wrinkled. It had this… pig tail. Some people called it shell-tail but he preferred pig tail. It was closer to the truth. The big, chocolate eyes were mesmerizing, though. Good so. And the breed had a noble history. Maybe women would like it.

Hopefully.

Damn Havoc for giving him the idea. Well, he had a dog now. Let's go to the walk!

"You need a name", he muttered as he walked and kept his eyes open for women. The dog dragged him forward cheerfully. People were smiling and… chuckling. He felt like an idiot. "Anyway… something that fits. Cute, macho. Something that women love. How about… Roger? No. Napoleon? No. Darren? Yes! You're Darren! And that's final!"

The dog barked cheerfully and peed to a tree. How charming. Did women really like these things?

"What a cute puppy you have there!" a brunette beauty said as she got up from the bench a few feet away and smiled warmly. Yes! A woman!

"Can I touch?" she asked. Her grey eyes made Roy melt. Yeah! Gentle, sweet, polite! A sex bomb! Her figures were soft and skin slightly tanned.

"Of course. Want to go for a walk?" he asked and bowed. He picked a flower from the ground and handed it to the blushing beauty.

"Oh. Well… yes, I guess that would be nice."

Good! Now the woman forgot the dog and looked at him! He was going to have a long night!

"So, what's the beauty's name?" he asked as he walked close to the woman. She was about head shorter than him, but he didn't mind. It was attractive! Well, almost every woman was attractive.

"It's Kate", she said and looked up at him. "What's yours?"

What a voice of an angel! It's like a beautiful song. It's like a river, like a warm cup of coffee.

"Roy."

She giggled. "I like your name. Roy. Suits you."

Wait… did she just giggle? Why did women giggle? It was frustrating. But he decided to keep his mouth shut. Womanizer always knows what to say and what to not say.

They walked and talked about random things for hours. Darren fell asleep on Kate's arms. Damn, Roy wanted to be able to do that too. The sun was setting down, the sky was like from a painting nobody would ever be able to paint. Too beautiful, too colourful, full of warm shades. Yes, Roy knew how to be romantic.

He grabbed her gently closer to him and kissed her. She tasted like… honey. Yummy, he loved honey. Many women tasted like honey, were they obsessed about it or what? Kate ran her hands to the back of his neck and pulled him closer.

At this point I have to point out the obvious: Roy was turned on.

"Want to come over my house?"

He considered a hungry and hot kiss as a 'yes'.

Barking. Cold.

What had happened?

Oh, how pleasuring the night had been. Kate surely knew how to make him happy.

Talking about Kate… where was she?

His eyes shot open. Kate's clothes, once on the floor were gone. He got up and searched the whole house. No one. No notes. Nothing.

Damn it. Seems like the dog got him just another one night stand.

Talking about the dog…

"Oh shit…" Roy snarled as he smelled the stinging smell of urine on his couch where the puppy happily sat and waved his tail.

Hahaha, poor Roy. I just love torturing him. I appreciate all reviews. Any kind of.