I do not own Spongebob. Nickelodeon does.
"Yo-yo-yo! Bikini Bottom Crew! Live! KICK IT!" Some fish dressed in gangster clothes began to break-dance to some hip-hop. "A'ight! This beat is poppin', Homes!" Said a fish in red. A fat fish in a hoodie was carrying a boom box while a girl fish was shaking her big booty.
Spongebob and Patrick walked towards the group. "Hi, fellas! What's going on?" The optimistic sponge smiled. "Rap, fool! That's what's going on!" The fish in red snapped at him. "You gotta get with it to understand it, homie!" The fat fish began bouncing to the beat.
"Homie?" Patrick blinked. "Yeah, fool!" The fish in red began break-dancing. "Can you teach us?" Spongebob asked. "HAHAHAHAA! Hey, J-Dog! Listen to this fool! He wants us to teach him!" All the gangster fish laughed their asses off.
The sponge and starfish looked at each other, not sure what was going on. Finally, the gangster fish stopped laughing and a fish in blue walked towards them. "You wanna learn? Then come with us." Spongebob and Patrick blinked and followed the gangsters into downtown. "Hehehe..." The fish in blue grinned evilly.
12 Hours Later...
Squidward was waking up from his beauty sleep. "Ahhh... Today will be a great day!" He smiled and stretched out his arms. "I just hope Spongebob and Patrick don't ruin it." As if on cue, Spongebob and Patrick burst through the wall, wearing gangster clothing and jewelry.
"BREAK YOURSELF, FOOL!" Spongebob roared at Squidward, drawing out his gat. "AAAH!" Squidward screamed in horror, not expecting the sponge to actually hold a weapon. "Shut the fuck up, bitch ass nigga!" Patrick snarled and punched Squidward across the face, repeatedly.
"That's enough, P-dog. Now go over there and get his shit. I'll deal with this old fool." Spongebob walked over to the downed squid, who was sobbing and blubbering. "Shut up, punk!" He pressed the gun against his cheek. "Now, tell me. Where's the safe?" Squidward looked at him incredously.
"What?" He blurted out. Spongebob kicked the dresser down in anger. "What country is you from?"
"What?" Squidward whimpered.
"WHAT AIN'T NO COUNTRY I EVER HEARD OF! THEY SPEAK ENGLISH IN "WHAT"?"
"What?" Squidward repeated. "ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKER! DO YOU SPEAK IT?"
"YES! I SPEAK IT!" Squidward wailed in fear. "Then you know what I'm sayin'."
"Yes!"
"Then tell me where the safe is."
"What?"
"Say "what" again. SAY WHAT AGAIN! I DARE YOU! I DOUBLE-DOG-DARE YOU, BITCH! SAY WHAT ONE MORE GODDAMN TIME!"
"It's in the painting!" The squid sobbed.
"What painting?" The sponge snarled.
"The painting of me!"
"Big nose or big head?" Squidward stared at the sponge in confusion. "What?"
Spongebob fired at one of his legs, blowing it off. "AAAAAAAAAAH!" Squidward wailed in intense pain.
"BIG NOSE OR BIG HEAD?!" The sponge roared. "BIG NOSE!" Squidward howled.
Spongebob then got up and tore down the painting and opened the safe with his gun. Then he took out the money and stuffed it inside his coat. "Thanks for your contribution, nigga." Spongebob pointed his gun and laid a bullet in Squidward's head, killing him.
"YO, P-DOG!" Spongebob shouted as he came downstairs. "What up, Spongeman?" The starfish held a Tv under his arm. "We gots to go! Five-O is gonna be storming this place soon." Then they ran off to the pineapple and stashed their shit in the house.
"Meow!" Gary looked at Spongeman. "Shut the hell up, you bitch ass snail!" The sponge hurled a vase at him. Gary moved out of the way and glared at Spongeman. "Me-ow." "WELL, FUCK YOU THEN, PUNK!" P-dog ran in and shook him. "Chill, man. We gotta be up outta here!" Then they ran off towards the Krusty Krab and sat down, acting all causal.
"Yo, man. That was a pretty big score we did." P-dog grabbed his burger and chomped it. "Yeah, dawg. We bad! We iced that squid mother!" Spongeman slammed his fist on his chest and put on his sunglasses. "Hit it, P-dog!" P-dog pulled out a boom box and turned the volume up.
"Damn, man! I'm feeling it! I am feeling the groove coming on!" Spongeman jumped on the table and was ready to burst into song.
Hey, homies, check it out!
It's the boys P-dog and Spongeman!
They be here to show you what it all about!
Yo,Yo! GET IT ON!
Yo, Yo! GET IT ON!
Hey, stop your shit and look at it!
The yellow bling-bling master apparent!
If you don't get my drift,
I'll send you adrift!
Yo, Yo, Yo! MOVE IT!
Yo, Yo, Yo! MOVE IT!
"WHAT'S GOING ON OUT HERE?" Mr. Krabs kicked the door open and was thrown out by some gangster fish who danced their way in the Krusty Krab. "AAAH!" Mr. Krabs became a star in the sky.
Look around, my niggas!
The pink menace is ready bust yo ass!
If you don't wanna get hurt, you betta show some class!
Yo, Yo, Yo, Yo! KICK IT!
Yo, Yo, Yo, Yo! KICK IT!
PEACE!
"Damn, baby! You got it!" P-dog high-fived Spongeman and they whooped their asses off. "P-dog, we is the best of the best! Now, let's rob that safe and get the formula to Plankton." They ran into the office and stole everything, including the secret formula. "JACK-FUCKING-POT!" P-dog yelled in joy.
Then they walked to the Chum Bucket and knocked on the door. "HEY! PLANKTON! We gots sumthin' for ya." P-dog handed the secret formula to Plankton. "Is this a trick?" He asked them, being wary of Krabs's tricks before. "Naw, dawg. This is the real deal." Spongeman smiled, his gold teeth showing.
"Oh, my God! THANK YOU SO MUCH!" Plankton clung to Spongeman's leg, crying in joy. "How can I ever repay you gentlemen?" P-dog smiled knowingly. "I can think of sumthin'."
Later, the duo were riding in a low-rider with bouncing wheels. "Damn! This ride is tight!" Spongeman turned on the radio and hip-hop blared throughout the streets. "This beat is live, live, live!" Spongeman whooped. "And there ain't no jive turkey in sight!" P-dog adjusted his glasses. Just then, a loud fart sounded in the car.
"DAMN, P-DOG!" Spongeman held his nose. "My bad." P-dog stretched his arms and yawned. Spongeman began to drive towards the Driving School. "YO, PUFFY!" Spongeman roared out as he walked towards the door. Mrs. Puff walked outside and glared at Spongeman. "Sponge...bob?" Her eyes became the size of dots.
"That's me." Spongeman crossed his arms and did some gang signs. 'Oh no! Spongebob's fallen in with the wrong crowd!' The pufferfish quivered in fear. "Yo, mama. We want to talk about Spongeman's license." P-dog slowly drew out his gun from his back pocket. Spongeman looked at her ass. "Damn, that's a fine ass..." He murmured.
'Oh, God!' Mrs. Puff thought as she was surrounded by her former student and friend. 'What's going to happen to me?' They loomed closer towards her as she slunk to her knees.
Only time would tell...
TBC.