Summary: "Take care of yourself." Those words echoed in my ears like a fire alarm. WARNING: Contains slight spoilers if you haven't seen the season finale yet. Oneshot - first one of the new year! Woo-hoo!
"Those Words"
I stepped up to him, half expecting him to laugh in my face, half expecting him to just wave silently and keep his eyes fixated on the ground. Oddly enough, neither of those things happened. Before he spoke, he made sure not to look at me by scuffling his shoes into the cement of the parking lot or looking over at Mark as if he was someone to be interested in. After a few minutes, he abruptly turned to me. He had finally worked up the courage to face me and look me directly in the eye. Drilling holes into me with his shining eyes, he finally decided it was time for him to speak and get it over with.
"Take care of yourself," he said, his eyes not leaving my face. I was almost afraid to look away. Before I could move to the next person, he extended his arms and pulled me into a hug. Being the nice person that I am, I squeezed back tightly. But I knew that wasn't the reason why.
Although he had been a jerk to me quite a few times, he was still there for a laugh or a game of foosball. He would always invite all the girls over to his dorm just to watch television or to talk about topics that actually had nothing to do with us or anybody we knew. Time and time again, he was just there...for a lot of things that I had been through at PCA. Even though he wasn't one to lend a helping hand often, he was still there to offer it to his dearest and closest friends. We had had our differences, and it was very awkward when rumors swirled about him liking me, but we managed to get through it as friends. Ah, the play. I'll never forget it. He made it worthwhile and he also taught me a lesson. Jealousy usually adds to the already existent conflict. I guess he learned that the hard way.
There are so many memories of mine that involve him just being his true self and nothing else. When it all came down to it, I guess that was the quality that I admired most in him. The fact that he was just himself and nothing else. He wasn't going to change for anybody, no matter how important or rich or powerful they were. Nothing could stand in the way of him getting what he wanted, and he made sure that everyone knew that in advance. He was passionate about all that he did, and he had a love for people. Just people - big and small, short and tall, intelligent and ignorant – just people.
As long as you treated him with respect and didn't try to fluff his hair, he would give you the same treatment and respect you the same way you did him. I'd miss seeing his smug face and his lean figure everyday. Although he was a big part of my life and will always remain in my heart, I don't think looking at Polaroid pictures will be the same as seeing his bright eyes or his confident grin.
When his arm tightens around the back of my neck, I press myself into him further. Ah, he smells like pine needles and fresh sawdust. I know I'm not supposed to be feeling this way about one of my closest friends, but I honestly could care less right about now. His back stiffens and I pat it a few times just to let him know that everything will turn out okay. The way his elbow is bended above my shoulder and how he wraps his arm around my neck protectively, I feel like I belong to him and only him. He seems to soften into me, as if he was melting and we were morphing into one. I could just barely picture his face softening, since it was an exceptional occurrence. Before I pull away, I finger one of his curls. When I pull out of the hug, I see a smile come over his face. That stunning smile let me know that he knew that everything was going to turn out fine.
Taking a closer look, I realize that his eyes are even shinier than before. He inhales sharply, and averts his gaze away from my face. I want to cry for him, because he looks very pained and I wonder what could possibly be bothering him this much. Oh my! I almost forgot that I am in fact going away...for good. I will never see him again. Well, maybe at the reunion, but he'll be too cool to show up to that, of course. His sadness makes me want to reach out and wrap my arms around him again. I sigh heavily, knowing that if I do that, the tears will stream out of my eyes like waterfalls and he will start sobbing, too. And then he will wrap his arms around my waist and we will wrap ourselves up in each other, ignoring the outside world and all the sounds that it makes. Seeing the pain in his eyes well up, I wish I could grab his hand and run off into the sunset with him. After all, I would love to do that, but I can't. I have some more people to bid farewell to.
Our eyes meet again, and he looks at me, his eyes speaking for him. Why are you leaving us here like this? What will we do without you? Will I ever see you again? Boy, how I wish I could answer those burning questions of his. I wish I could explain to him that I made this decision based off of what information was given to me and who reacted at the right time. Unfortunately, I could stand here for hours trying to reason with his stubborn attitude, and I would get absolutely nowhere. It would be of no use to stand here and waste my time arguing with him.
As I step in front of Michael, I see him reach up and wipe away a few tears hastily with the back of his hand. He looks like he's ashamed to be crying over me, but he shouldn't be. I glance back over at him before Michael pulls me into a bear hug. I hear him whisper faintly, "I love you." Swallowing hard, I squeeze Michael tight and before we pull out of the embrace, I mouth the words "I love you" over his shoulder to the boy who means so much to me that it hurts to think about it.
I see his smile return, and I brighten, although the tears are threatening to fall. After a few seconds pass, I can't hold them back any longer. A single tear makes it way down my cheek, and he gives me one last small smile. I know everything is going to turn out fine because I do love him, and he loves me back. We will always know that, and it's just between us, so no one else has to know. He runs a hand through his thick head of curly hair and waves lightly at me. I wave back and then step in front of Lola and Quinn. He grabs Michael's shoulder and they step over to the other side with Dustin, my parents, and some of my other friends. He turns back to look at me one last time and I smile brightly at him. I know deep down in my heart that I do love him, and I always will. Those simple words he said will stick with me always and forever. I take a deep breath and throw my arms around Lola and Quinn. Those words meant the world to me, and they always would.
A/N: Beware! The guy who you think she is talking about may not be the guy she is referring to. If you've already seen the season finale, it should be a dead giveaway. If not, I guess you'll just have to wait and see. Please review and tell me your thoughts!