One Final Act
The President of the United States rose from the front pew where he'd been seated for the last thirty-five minutes, and slowly made his way toward the pulpit. He hesitated momentarily in front of the flag-draped coffin, eyes closed, head bowed. Of all the duties he had performed, of all the trials and tribulations he had endured, of all the difficult choices he'd made in nearly eight years as President, the task that was now required of Josiah Bartlet as a friend threatened to overwhelm him. Resting inside this soft ivory-velvet-lined mahogany casket were the mortal remains of his best friend. How could he possibly be expected to stand in front these people and explain what it felt like to know this man, to describe in detail a life-time filled with his friendship, his companionship, of unwavering support, of loyalty, the likes of which he would never know again? How would he tell them of the events they shared, great and small, events too numerous to mention, too numerous to remember, that filled more than forty years with life-shaping, life-altering experiences? How was he supposed to convey to those gathered in this place exactly what Leo Thomas McGarry meant to him, to his family … to his life?
"Almighty, God," he asked silently, "I humbly stand here in Your presence, and pray that You will have mercy upon his soul. I know that it is not supposed to be our place to question, and there have been very few times in my life that I have questioned You. We have been taught from a young age to believe that everything happens for a reason, that You don't make mistakes. Throughout the course of my life, I've been faced with adversity, and as a result, I've come to realize that there are times when there are no easy answers, that sometimes the answer is 'No.' You know my heart, You know of the trust that I have in You. So I ask You, please forgive me my doubt …
I'm not sure I'll ever understand why you chose to take him now … why Mallory has to be without her father, why Tommy has to be without his grandfather … why I have to live without my friend. Please give me the strength to accept Your wisdom, the strength to honor this man whom I love as a brother. I ask that You watch over his family, especially Mallory and her little son T.J., and those family and friends affected most by his passing. Guide me today, be with me as You've always been, and please allow my friend to remain by my side, as he's always been, to comfort me, and to help me through this most difficult time. In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. Amen."
Jed opened his eyes and reached out to lightly touch the red, white, and blue material covering the casket in front of him. Slowly letting out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding, he withdrew his hand and continued up the few steps that would lead him to the altar, a grand stage upon which he would perform one final act of friendship. As the President glanced down, he dug deep into his inside jacket pocket and pulled out his new reading glasses. Placed on the pulpit earlier, the sky-blue folder, complete with the Presidential Seal of the United States embossed on the front, seemed to taunt him, daring him to open it and speak the words that he knew were woefully inadequate to express the depths of his grief. Inhaling slowly, taking what he hoped would be a calming breath, Bartlet slid his glasses into place, opened the folder, looked up, and began.
"'Without a sign, his sword the brave man draws … and asks no omen, but his country's cause.' A Greek philosopher named Homer knew 1,200 years before any of us were born what lie in the heart and soul of a man named Leo McGarry." Jed glanced towards Leo's family, "Mallory, Patrick, Tommy, Jenny, Josephine, Maureen, Elizabeth, Scott, Jordon, family, friends, colleagues. We are gathered here today, to pay tribute to a true American, a great civil servant who chose to devote his life to his country, in the belief that we all have a responsibility to our fellow citizens, to help when and where we can, who believed those who were fortunate enough to have the opportunity and ability to help, must help. He was a man who worked tirelessly for the people of this nation, a man who faced adversity head-on, a man who never backed down from a challenge." Jed reached out and shifted the page a little higher, then continued, "I have tried over the past few days, rather unsuccessfully, to remember a time when Leo wasn't in the thick of things, politically. It has been said that God only takes the best, and indeed, Leo McGarry was that. He was a rare breed, the kind of public servant who brought out the best in others, who knew how to work with, and for, those people who needed …"
Jed stopped suddenly, faltering, and cursed himself for doing so, but there was something wrong. His hand moved to adjust his glasses, as he attempted to pick up where he left off, "Leo was a man who brought out the best in others … and worked with people who needed … who needed something more than a hand-out … people who …"
President Bartlet hesitated again, pausing to glance ahead at the text he'd approved only the night before. Slowly, he pulled his reading glasses off, folding them, tucking them safely back into his pocket. He sighed quietly as he closed the folder, running his thumb lightly across the embossed Seal that adorned the front. Staring intently at the Eagle, arrows in one talon, an olive branch in the other, he thought about the man who'd helped him write the history of the country, of the world, for nearly eight years … so many vital decisions reached, crises resolved, legislation passed, bills vetoed; so many important, as well as "thoroughly unimportant" press conferences, speeches, and events attended; so many arguments won and lost; so many things accomplished, so many things left undone; so many memories shared … so many sacrifices made.
Arrows and olive branches … war and peace …
Jed stood in the midst of this sanctuary filled with diplomats, congressmen, senators, ambassadors, former presidents, vice-presidents, as well as a future president, and realized with absolute finality that he owed his best friend a debt that could never be repaid.
It was because of Leo that he had been saved from self-doubt during the first campaign … act as if ye have faith indeed, Jed mused to himself. It was Leo who stood by him through thick and thin, despite the sometimes brutal arguments between the two. It was Leo who sacrificed his own marriage, who devoted himself fully to Jed Bartlet's Administration. It was Leo who had been the infamous power behind the President. It was because of Leo that the name Josiah Edward Bartlet would be forever preceded by the title, "President."
Yes, it was because of Leo that he was the man he was today … but in reality, the debt Jed owed to Leo McGarry was much greater than that, for it was Leo's friendship, his undying love for Jed and for his family that was valued above all. President Bartlet placed his hands on either side of the intricately carved pulpit and held it tightly.
An uneasy feeling began to permeate the church, concern for the most powerful man in the world evident on the faces of those who knew him best. A soft murmur, whispers from a few drifted toward the front of the sanctuary. Slowly, those assembled began to stir, looking at one another, wondering if someone should intervene.
"No, no, no. Oh, dear God, no," Abigail Bartlet pleaded silently as she gripped her handkerchief tighter. "Not now. Please don't let him be having an attack."
As if he could somehow sense his wife's concern, Jed raised his head to look directly at her, his eyes conveying the truth.
Quietly, Abbey sighed, grateful for that truth. "It's not the MS. You're not having an attack, are you, Jed?" her eyes asked as she gave him a tentative smile.
He lifted his chin slightly in response, a gesture that had become so familiar in the Bartlet household. Not even Abbey's military escort noticed as she glanced upward, a subtle motion that her husband recognized all too well … she's praying for me.
"Thank you," she silently mouthed as her eyes closed briefly.
Jed's gaze shifted momentarily to Leo's casket, then moved slightly to his right, settling on his best friend's family once more. Mallory was seated across the aisle from where he and Abbey had been escorted, holding hands with her husband, Patrick, and though it was she who had suffered the greatest loss, her concern for the President shone brightly in her eyes. Thirteen month-old baby Thomas Josiah, dressed in a tiny version of his grandfather's charcoal-grey suit with apricot-colored shirt, sat quietly in his Grandma Jenny's lap, clutching a soft teething ring in both hands, occasionally chewing it to soothe his aching gums.
Gradually, a quiet peacefulness settled around Jed Bartlet, a soul-calming tranquility that he hadn't been able to come close to achieving in the four days since his friend's death. Here before him, in the persons of Mallory and little Tommy, in all who had gathered, really, was undeniable evidence that Leo McGarry had existed. There was indeed a life lived, a life that would continue to influence those who knew him well into the future, never to be lost. As Jed looked down the long line of expectant faces, he came to realize without a shadow of a doubt that a part of Leo lived within each person who had assembled here today. A small, wistful smile crept over the President's face, as he took a deep breath and began again.
"'Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.' Mal, Pat, T.J., Jenny, Josie, Mo, Liz, Scotty, Jordy, family, friends, colleagues. We are faced with an overwhelmingly difficult task today, for we have gathered together in this place … to say good-bye. We have come to say good-bye to a father, a father-in-law, a grandfather, a brother, an uncle, a friend."
"It is true that Leo McGarry had an incredible political mind. His talents, his military knowledge, his connections as a true Washington insider, and the respect he commanded were invaluable to my administration, as well as my two predecessors'. The citizens of this country were indeed fortunate to have Leo as a member of their governing body, for he served them well in various capacities for more than three decades. As a fighter pilot in Vietnam, Chair of the DNC, Secretary of Labor, Special Advisor to three different Presidents, and as my Chief of Staff, he proudly and unselfishly dedicated himself to serve his fellow citizens and the country that he loved so much."
"Four days ago, voters in this great nation went to the polls and placed their faith in him, and in Matthew Santos, electing them to the two highest posts in the country. I have no doubt whatsoever that Leo would have been an outstanding Vice-President, and an important member of the next administration. His unwavering sense of duty was only one small part of his value to our country." Bartlet paused, carefully measuring his next words, praying for the strength to get through them. "But his value to me, personally, was much, much greater than that, for you see," he swallowed hard, "Leo McGarry was quite simply … the best friend I've ever had." He glanced at the casket once more. "Leo McGarry was my brother."
Jed reached out and turned the folder on its side, gathering his thoughts. "As you might expect, I have been thinking a lot over the last few days about Leo, about our families, reminiscing, reliving experiences, both good and bad that we've shared over the past forty-five-plus years." Slowly lifting his eyes to gaze out over the sanctuary, Jed continued. "Abbey and I were talking last night, I was reminded about the first time I met Leo. We were fifteen years-old and attending the American Legion Boys Nation, a sort of mock government situation that was held, appropriately enough, in here in Washington. He was a representative from Massachusetts, and of course, I was there with the New Hampshire delegation. On the second day, we found ourselves selected as members of a panel discussion, debating the role of the Fed in economics, or some such thing. A few minutes into the discussion, Leo and I pretty much took over, and much to the delight of the adults in attendance, debated back and forth for nearly an hour. We were both still making valid arguments, but the moderator finally stopped us, forcing us into a summation of our points, which were limited to two minutes each. When we finished, we received a standing ovation."
"Coming off the dais, Leo stopped me and said, 'Ya know, you were pretty good up there, New Hampshire, but ya still lost.'" Chuckles filtered through the quiet sanctuary. "Of course, being ever quick on my feet, I replied, 'I did not!' Well, that set off another round of debates that continued through supper, well into the evening, and off and on for the next five days."
"Not surprisingly, Leo and I quickly became friends, recognizing in each other a kindred spirit of sorts. In fact when his roommate took ill and was sent home, I'd sneak into his room after bed-check and we'd talk, sometimes all night. We discussed everything … what we thought John Kennedy might do for the country if he was elected President, our families and prospective girlfriends, school, sports, and finally, what we wanted to do when we graduated. When I told Leo he'd laugh at what I had planned after graduation, he begged me to tell him. 'I won't laugh,' he promised. 'All right. I want to go to Notre Dame,' I replied quietly. 'Really?' he said. 'I would think you could get into any Ivy League school you wanted to. Why Notre Dame?' I looked him straight in the eye and explained, 'Because I'm thinking about becoming a priest.' Now, I have to tell you, if there ever was a time I thought Leo McGarry would laugh me right out of a room, it was then. But he didn't. He just stared back, nodding his head, contemplating, then straight-faced told me, 'You know, Bartlet, that's a difficult calling, but if that's the life ya want for yourself, I don't think you'll let anyone stand in your way.' Needless to say, I was amazed at this seemingly unflappable response from a fellow fifteen year-old. Then it happened - that irrepressible McGarry grin and the inevitable, under his breath comment, 'Nope, no one's gonna stop you. No one 'cept a girl that is.'"
Abbey smiled knowingly at her husband of nearly forty years and nodded, remembering what was to come.
"Little did he realize how prophetic those words were, because as everyone now knows, when I finally made it to Notre Dame, I did happen upon someone who altered the course of my life. I picked up the phone and called my friend. 'Leo, I've met someone,' was all I got out. He laughed so hard, I thought he never would catch his breath. 'Wass 'er name?' he asked between belly laughs. 'Abigail Anne Barrington,' I replied calmly. 'Hmm, sounds nice. When do I get to meet her?' 'As soon as you can manage to stop laughing and get yourself down here from Ann Arbor.'"
Jed paused, looking out into the faces of Leo's friends and family, most with slight grins themselves now … just the response he was hoping for. "I think most everyone here knows that Leo was born in Boston, into a Scots-Irish family, and grew up Boston Irish-Catholic. What most people don't know, and what he told me that fateful day long ago in Washington, D.C., is that he spent much of his youth dreaming of becoming an astronaut. He said he admired the Yuri Gagarans and John Glenns of the world, the pioneers of their profession. He respected their courage, their honor, their sacrifice in a race of technology that eventually took mankind to the moon and back."
"Leo's aspirations of becoming an astronaut were put on hold, however. After his father's death, he was suddenly thrust into the role as head of the family, and at fifteen years-old, was left with the responsibility of taking care of his mother, his younger sisters, Josephine, Maureen, and Elizabeth, and his younger brother, Scotty. It was only a few weeks after his father's death that Leo and his family moved to Chicago to be near his mother's brother and sister-in-law."
"We kept in touch over the course of the next few months, and I asked him several times to come to New Hampshire for a visit. He said he couldn't afford to make the trip, his mom didn't have the extra money, but I begged him to try. That Christmas, he traveled to Manchester on money he'd earned himself by working in a grocery store after school, and on Saturdays delivering furniture."
"I showed Leo around the campus of the school where my father was headmaster, and asked him to consider coming to school there. He just shook his head, saying that he couldn't leave his family. He reasoned that he was head of the household, and his duty lay in helping raise his younger siblings. I told him I understood, but that the best way he could help them was to get a good education so he could take care of them for a long time, if necessary. He wouldn't hear any of it. Not one to give up easily, I wrote to his mother, and asked her opinion. Leo wasn't very happy when he found out, but she actually agreed with me, and before we knew it, the Bartlet-McGarry machine was set in motion."
"After high school graduation, with his dream of becoming an astronaut still in the back of his mind, Leo enlisted in the Air Force. It was a delayed entry so he could earn his Bachelor's Degree at the University of Michigan." Smiling at Jenny McGarry-Anderson, he continued. "About the same time I met Abbey, he met Jenny, his future wife. It didn't take long for him to realize he had found the lady he would marry. I, of course, had to laugh at him for falling head over heels, and though it took a while, he finally stopped harassing me about Abbey."
"Leo knew that he would be sent to Vietnam, so during his days at Michigan, he became an ROTC member and learned to fly. After graduating at the top of his class, he trained in fighter jets and was sent to overseas where he flew missions over the DMZ. He was a member of the 355th Tactical Fighter Wing, participated in Operation Rolling Thunder, and flew more than 60 missions."
"Needless to say, it was a very dangerous job … many planes and many more lives were lost over a place pilots called Thud Ridge. He'd been in-country for nearly fourteen months when he and his partner, Ken O'Neil were shot down. Leo was seriously injured in the incident, and Kenny saved his life by carrying him on his back for three days through the jungle until they were rescued. As a result of the incident, Leo added a Purple Heart to the numerous honors he'd already received, and spent the remainder of his tour in the hospital."
"Leo McGarry experienced a lot of heartache and pain in the fifty-eight years of his life. He was a man who learned at an early age what it was to sacrifice for others. His father's death, over a year and a half in Vietnam and another year recovering fully from wounds received after being shot down, years of post-traumatic stress symptoms and nightmares stemming from the war, and battles with drugs and alcohol all took their toll on Leo. But despite all of that, you should know that I never once heard him complain that his lot in life was too hard, or that it should have been someone else, and he never, ever accepted pity from anyone."
Jed glanced at the faces in the sanctuary, all lost in thoughts of their own. He tried to smile as he continued, "Not everything in his life was bad, of course. He had many, many blessings, for in addition to all of that, Leo married his college sweetheart, fathered a beautiful daughter, was Papa to Thomas Josiah, 'Uncle Leo' to twelve nieces and nephews, two great-nieces and one great-nephew, as well as my three daughters and their children. He won that hard fought battle over alcohol and drugs, spent years in the service of others, and in the last three years, met and fell in love with Jordon, a beautiful lady to whom he was engaged."
The President turned serious again, "Nearly two years ago now, after an incredibly stressful set of events, Leo suffered a near-fatal heart attack. During his recovery from double-bypass surgery, he talked to me about how fortunate he'd been to survive, told me that he wasn't sure why God hadn't taken him that day. I answered that I didn't know either, but I for one was glad that he was still here. He looked at me and nodded, then gave me that patented McGarry grin. 'Maybe I'm not done yet. Maybe there's still something more for me, something that's been left undone.'"
Bartlet wiped a hand over his tiring eyes, then gazed at the congregation. "I am so grateful that I saw Leo this past week. He was in the Midwest, then in Baltimore at a rally later that day, and we were able to get together for supper Sunday. We talked for quite a while that night, spent time remembering the last eight years, talking about Tuesday's election, about family, about so many different things. It was almost a carbon copy of the first time we met. Suddenly, Leo got very quiet and began to stare at me. I asked him what was wrong. He just smiled and said, 'You know, a few weeks ago, during a campaign stop in Michigan, I finally figured it out.' I asked him what in particular he had figured out. He said that he knew now why God left him here. I said, 'Yeah, why's that?' He replied, 'Well, two reasons. One is this election I'm involved in, but that's not the most important reason I'm still here.' 'No?' I said. He shook his head, 'Nope. The single most important reason that I'm still here … is that I was able to see my daughter become a mother.'"
Jed looked at Mallory O'Brien-Shannahan who was crying openly now, and for the first time that day, tears glistened in his own eyes. "He was so proud of you, Mallory. You know that, right? He was proud of you, he was proud of his grandson, Thomas Josiah, and doubly proud when you and Patrick saw fit to give him a name that tied the two of us old men together for a long time to come. He was thrilled that you and T.J. had joined him on the campaign trail. Said that he'd always been close to you, but he felt as though the two of you were closer than you'd ever been. And little T.J. was absolutely the light of his life. He'd get the biggest grin when he talked about you and your family. He was so happy that you had found someone to share you life with, that you would have someone to look after you, and you them."
Mallory was smiling through the tears as Jed continued. "You know, the day you graduated college, he called and told me that you had planned to enter the Peace Corps for two years, teaching little kids overseas how to read and write, and then come home to continue teach kids here. He said, 'You know, she could have done anything she wanted to with her life. She could have found someone to make a home with, worked for a foundation, never have had to work a day in her life if that was her choice. She could have used the money I set aside for her and she wouldn't have had to do anything. Yet she chose to become a teacher. You have no idea how proud that makes me.' I told him that I did indeed have an idea because I could hear it in his voice. It was you. You, Mallory, are your father's single greatest legacy, and proudest achievement. Never, ever doubt that."
Jed finally turned his attention back to the congregation. "As for Leo's political accomplishments, the history books will write that legacy. But they won't tell the whole story, they never do. The lives of the next two generations and beyond, including his own grandson T.J.'s, have been shaped by the vision, the dedication, and tireless work put forth by this man. 'We don't always know how it ends,' he once told me. But the truth is, we do know how it ends. It ends with a life lived, a life lost, and a legacy that will never die. The future that he helped to shape, that he left for the country, that he left to the world, continues on today, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow."
"Leo McGarry wasn't perfect, and he would have been the first tell you so. What Leo McGarry was however, was a man who believed in the ideals that founded this nation, in its citizens whom he believed deserved his very best effort, and was a man who expected nothing more, and accepted nothing less from those around him. He was as honorable, as courageous, and had sacrificed as much in his lifetime as those first astronauts he admired so much as a young man. He believed in a future for this country that would outlast any one administration, any one man. As President-Elect Santos stated the night Leo died, 'This country has lost a giant, and I have lost a friend.'"
Jed Bartlet closed his eyes momentarily, then gazed slightly upward and talked directly to his friend. "You know, if I live to be a hundred years old, I will never have another friend like you, Leo. Emerson got it right when he said, 'The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him …' Leo, you believed in me when no one else did. You held me up more times in my life than I can begin to remember. You were there for me throughout the campaigns, the administration and beyond. 'Act as if ye have faith and faith shall be given to you,' you said. That simple thought, and so much more was your true gift to me, my friend."
Jed paused, gathering himself, knowing he was close to the edge now. "Politically, you were my staunchest supporter, my greatest champion, my fiercest critic. You were never afraid to tell truth to power, because you knew just how important it was to have honesty and integrity in the highest office in the land. But more importantly you knew what you've meant to me personally. You have been more than a friend to me over the years, Leo. You have been my confidante. You have been my hero. You have been my brother."
"Leo, we will miss your incredible work ethic, your willingness to help those in need, whether it was your infamous Big Block of Cheese Day … 'Andrew Jackson, in the main foyer of the White House, had a big block of cheese,' you'd explain … or spending Christmas Eve on the phone arranging to fix a leaky roof in Bethlehem, or whether it was simply being there for your fellow staff members, for your family, for your friends, you were always willing to lend a hand. We grew to depend on you to guide us and keep us on track. We will all miss that shoulder to lean on, Leo. We will miss your sometimes grumpy countenance, your crossword puzzle tirades when they got it wrong, your Scottish temperament, your Irish blarney, your irrepressible smile. But most of all, we will miss your wisdom, your companionship, and your fierce loyalty toward those you loved …"
"For those of us who were lucky enough to have had you in our lives, for those who grew to know you over the past eight years, things will never be the same. But rest assured, we will never forget you, Leo. We will never forget your talents, nor the incredible gifts you shared with us all. Your love, your indomitable spirit will continue to guide us in all we do, and we will carry you in our hearts forever."
Jed looked around the sanctuary, into the faces of the staff, current and former diplomats, all with tears streaming. They had all come to pay their respects … C.J., Josh, Donna, Margaret, Debbie, Ainsley, Annabeth, all of the aides, former Vice-President John Hoynes, Lord John Marbury, President-Elect Santos, Senators, Congressmen, businessmen, students, soldiers.
Toby … Toby was here too. In the back, with Andi, but here nevertheless. For a moment, the two locked eyes. Leo believed in you, Toby, Jed thought. From the beginning, he believed in you. He fired everyone but you on the campaign trail in Nashua. You should have remembered that. You know, his advisors told him that you were radioactive now because of the thing, but I know he would be glad that you're here, and that's all that counts right now.
Bartlet cleared his throat, struggling to regain some sense of focus. "There is an old Irish blessing that Leo loved, one that he had framed and hanging in the hallway of his house. I offer it now as a promise to my friend. 'May the road rise to meet you, May the wind be ever at your back. May the sun shine gently upon your face, the rains fall softly upon your fields. And until we meet again, may God hold you in the hallow of his hand.'"
Jed took one last deep breath, in a failing attempt to keep the raw emotion from his voice. "Rest well, my brother, for your work here is done. Until we do meet again, my dear, dear friend … ," he paused, swallowing hard, "…may you know the simple joy and peace of being in His presence."Jed took a deep breath, then swiped at the tears trailing down his cheeks as he stepped away from the pulpit.
It wasn't enough. It just wasn't enough.
Despite what he'd said, as heartfelt as it had been, Jed Bartlet knew that it wasn't nearly enough. He stood once more in front of the casket, lowering his head. As he laid a trembling hand on the flag over Leo's heart, Jed quietly apologized. "I'm so sorry, Leo. I will always love you, my friend," he promised. "Omnes una manet nox. Thank you … for everything."