Note: Helloo! New story from me. I love Lana Del Rey's 'Born To Die' album and figured most of the songs are absolutely perfect to describe Catherine's past. I decided to mingle in Vartann as well because, well, I love him, haha! It might be slightly confusing but I'm sure it will all make sense. I always kind of try to avoid song fictions, though I did make one recently for another show, but I just love Lana del Rey's album and, well, like I said, I figured it all fit perfectly fine. I hope you guys like it as well, please let me know :) . X.

Chapter 1: Off To The Races

My old man is a bad man but I can't deny the way he holds my hand,
and he grabs me, he has me by my heart.
He doesn't mind I have a Las Vegas past,
he doesn't mind I have a L.A. crass way about me,
He loves me with every beat of his cocaine heart.

"You're sure about this?" I look while Eddie throws some white powder on the table, carefully placing it so there are two thin lines. I know what it is, but I'm not sure it's such a great idea to actually use it.

"Cath, baby… I told you before. It's fun! I'm sure you'll love it."

He looks at me, excitement only gracing his face. I know he's done it before, never in my presence. I look at the man, who now sits down next to me and pulls me on his lap before burying his head in my chest. We've been dating for six weeks now. He saw me in The French Palace, behind the bar, bartending. I'm sure I saw him first though. Leather jacket on, smoking his cigarettes in a corner close to the bar while drinking whiskey with his friends, looking over every single half-naked girl that passed their ways. I chuckled to myself every single time, making a mental note of those men, telling myself those dudes were the perfect example of the kind of man I didn't want to be with. And look at me now, actually being the girlfriend of that asshole. At least, I think I am.

Light of my life, fire in my loins,
be a good baby, do what I want,
light of my life, fire in my loins,
gimme them gold coins, gimme them coins.

He looks up and searches for an answer in my eyes. The mingle of him and the alcohol in my system makes my head blurry. I know this stuff ain't good. But Eddie smells very good. And his eyes are gorgeous as well. I know what he's trying to do when he pulls me closer to kiss me. He places his hand gently behind my head, pressing me closer to him as his tongue meets mine and his hand moves up my skirt, leaving the skin he's touched tingling of excitement.

I nod and he kisses me, pressing me closer to him as he does so, before he tells me: "Okay, just do what I do. You'll love it." I doubt for a split second, knowing the stuff is far from good. I nod nonetheless, excitement and curiosity taking over.

And I'm off to the races,
cases of Bacardi chasers,
chasin' me all over town.
'Cause he knows I'm wasted,
facing time again on Rikers Island and I won't get out.

Because I'm crazy, baby.
I need you to come here and save me.
I'm your little scarlet, starlet, singing in the garden,
Kiss me on my open mouth, ready for you.

His eyes rest on mine as he says: "Just wait."

I nod, not sure what to expect as I let my head rest against the couch, just like Eddie. A minute later, I see his pupils widen, wondering if that's how I look now as well. I feel hot as I discard my jacket before I hear him grumble: "That's how it starts.."

I feel happy, excited… Ed's hand starts touching my skin, grabbing my hand to pull me closer to him. "You're looking so damn good right now."

His lips attack mine and I feel them before I can even think about it. He tastes like whiskey as our tongues duel while he pulls me on top of him, grabbing the hem of my shirt as he tries to get rid of it. There's nothing sweet or romantic about the way he's touching me, but frankly, I don't care. I just want him inside me.

My old man is a tough man,
but he got a soul as sweet as blood red jam.
And he shows me, he knows me,
every inch of my tar black soul.
He doesn't mind I have a flat broke down life,
in fact he says he thinks it's what he might like about me, admires me,
the way I roll like a rolling stone.

Likes to watch me in the glass room, bathroom, Chateau Marmont,
slipping on my red dress, putting on my make-up.
Glass room, perfume, cognac, lilac fumes
says it feels like heaven to him.

We lay in bed lazily an hour later. The rush is gone and so is the great feeling the drugs gave me. I lie in Eddie's arms and I hear him murmur: "That was good, wasn't it?"

"Hmm." I'm tired, just want to sleep.

"I know babe."

I could tell he was going to be dozing off soon as I set my alarm, knowing I had to get up in a few hours. Doing the dancing I did. I used to be a bartender. I was when I met Eddie. Bartending barely earned me enough to pay my rent. The dancing's better. I was ashamed at first, dancing almost naked in front of all those men. I got used to it though.

Light of his life, fire of his loins,
keep me forever, tell me you own me.
Light of your life, fire of your loins,
tell me you want me, gimme them coins.

Yo I'm off to the races, laces.
Leather on my waist is tight,
and I am falling down.
I can see your face is shameless,
Cipriani's basement.
Love you but I'm going down.

I finished dancing hoping to open my eyes and seeing Eddie in the crowd. I see him indeed, but he's not looking at me. He's talking to a skinny blonde.

He comes to find me minutes later backstage. "Hey baby, I enjoyed your show…"

"You seemed to enjoy that skinny blonde even more though, but thanks." I put my jacket on as I look at his face. He's getting angry, but I don't really care.

"Jesus, Cath, I was just talking, don't be jealous."

"I'm not jealous, I'm just stating the facts. Let's go home."

He shrugs and walks away. I don't care that he's pissed. He'll get over it in a minute.

The ride home is quiet, but as soon as we get inside the living room, he grabs a plastic bag out of the pockets of his jacket and says: "You wanna take another ride?"

I look at the white powder. Twice within twenty-four hours, that can't be good. I'm doubting for a few seconds, sensing that the more I use it, the more I need it. It did feel good though. Very good. I don't even have to say yes as Ed's already laying out the perfect line for me.

My old man is a thief and I'm gonna stay and pray with him till the end.
But I trust in the decision of the Lord to watch over us,
take him when he may, if he may, I'm not afraid to say
that I'd die without him.
Who else is gonna put up with me this way?