RUNNING SCARED
©1999 by Kolya Smith and KathyG.
Jennifer is a girl who has dyslexia. The story deals with her struggle.
DISCLAIMER: Monica and Tess belong to CBS/Martha Williamson. We are not making a profit from writing this. Enjoy the story!
PART 1
"Class, let's be quiet and begin our reading on page 183," Mrs. Wright said. She looked around the classroom, panning from one side to the other.
"Jennifer, you've never read for us. Why don't you begin reading the first few paragraphs," she said. Jennifer felt her heart in her throat. She began sweating and breathing deeply and fast.
"I think I'm going to be sick," Jennifer said, running out the classroom. She ran down the hall to the bathroom. She leaned over the sink and splashed her face with water. Her hands where trembling.
"I can't go back there," Jennifer said, looking in the mirror. She covered her mouth with her hand and sighed.
All of a sudden, her best friend, Joanna, walked in the bathroom. "Are you OK?" Joanna asked. Jennifer bit her lip.
"Yes. I'm OK," Jennifer said with a nod.
"You're 16 years old, Jen. How much longer can you go without being able to read? 26, 36, 46 or 56?" Joanna asked. Jennifer got angry. She blew air through her nose.
"No! I just can't!" Jennifer snapped.
"I'm so tired. I have to do your homework and my homework. Mr. Jackson caught me sleeping in his class the other day," Joanna said.
"I'm sorry you're tired. I'll raise the payment, if you want," Jennifer said. Joanna shook her head.
"No. It's OK. I guess I'm just a little cranky right now," Joanna said. Jennifer but her hands through her hair.
"I should get back to class. But, I'll tell Mrs. Wright that you're still sick and that I'll check on you again later. OK?" Joanna suggested. Jennifer nodded.
"Bye, Jen," Joanna added.
"Bye, Jo," Jennifer added, before Jo left the room.
Jennifer sighed. How much longer would she have to play this stupid game? Pretending she could read when, in fact, she couldn't? Having to rely on others to read her assignments to her, because she couldn't read them for herself? Having exam time come and failing every test?
"What's my choice?" she thought, smiling wryly. She took a deep breath in and continued thinking to herself, "Try to read those stupid paragraphs, and make a fool of myself? Have my classmates laugh at me and call me names? Have Mrs. Wright tell me I'm lazy, like I've been told a million times before? Or stupid?" She shook her head.
"How many times have I been told that? If only I had a dollar for every time I've been told, 'You could do the work if you'd only try?' 'You could be a star student if you'd just apply yourself.' 'You're lazy.' 'You just don't want to work.' I'd be a millionaire, by now!" She pursed her lips at the memories.
"For that matter, how many time have I been punished because someone said I was lazy? If Joanna wasn't helping me now, Mrs. Wright would already adding her voice to all those others," Jennifer asked those many questions. Jennifer clenched her fists and took a deep breath.
"I just get so sick of it! I do try; I've been trying so hard all my life! Yet, I fail no matter how hard I work. I get mostly F's and a sprinkle of D's on my report cards. I've been held back twice; I go summer school every year; I've been yelled at, and kept in from recess and after school, and had notes sent to my parents, and made to sit in the dummy corner more times than I can count. Kindergarten was the only good experiences I've had. Sometimes, I wish I could be young again," she continued to tell herself.
Tears welled up in her eyes. "I never get to hang out after school; I have to spend all afternoon and evening studying! All weekend, too. I never get to have my gymnastics, dance or music lessons, anymore, because I can't until my grades improve. And every time I bring home a bad report card, my father gets out his belt and whips me. He says I'm a lazy, bad, careless girl who refuses to apply herself, and he won't stand for that. My mother just shakes her head at me and tells me I just need to start putting my mind to it and stop goofing off. What does she think I do? Sit there at my desk and draw pictures?" Jennifer snorted.
"Maybe I should just run away. Report card time is getting close, and all my hours of studying haven't helped a bit. I can't take any more whippings. I can't take any more punishments of any kind. I can't take being yelled at and being made to feel more awful than I already do. Maybe-maybe-I should just run away," Jennifer continued thinking to herself. After wiping a few tears away, she sighed and left the building.
Jennifer walked down the street. A layer of tears glazed her eyes. She couldn't see too well. She wiped her eyes to clear her vision. She sniffed. Tess' dog came from behind her and started barking. Jennifer stopped and bent down to pat the dog. Tess came running shortly after.
"Sorry, baby. He's too fast for me sometimes," Tess said, out of breath. Monica was behind Tess. She smiled at her.
"Hi, I'm Monica," Monica said speaking up.
"I'm Tess," Tess said with a deep giggle.
"Hi. I'm Jennifer," she said, standing up.
"Are you suppose to be in school, baby?" Tess asked.
"Ah...no. I was just on my way home," Jennifer said, starting to walk away. Tess exchanged a glance with Monica. The dog barked.
"Bye," Jennifer added, before changing her walk to a run. Monica and Tess waved. Then, Tess sighed.
"That girl is on the fast track to nowhere. She doesn't know how to read and she cons people along the way," Tess explained. Monica frowned.
"It's so sad," Monica added.
"It's sadder than you know," Tess said. "That girl's been having trouble in school ever since the first grade. She wants so badly to learn to read, but she hasn't been able to," Tess continued.
"Hasn't anybody tutored her?" Monica frowned.
Tess pursed her lips. "Not in the right ways. Just in the old ways that failed her, to begin with. And all along, her parents and teachers, have believed her to be lazy. They scolded, punished and worse, her father whipped her. And all along, she's been working three times as hard, three times as long, as her classmates." Tess said shaking her head.
"She looks so bright." Monica sighed.
Tess nodded. "She is, Angel Girl. In fact, she's what a human being would call, gifted and talented. But, she has a severe learning disability. If she doesn't get the right kind of help soon-and understanding, there is going to be more trouble for that child than she'll know how to deal with. It will take a toll on her emotionally and perhaps, physically." Tess paused after that last sentence.
"She's already planning to run away," Tess added. Monica stared after the departing girl and shivered. Tess' dog started to bark and circle around.
"Speaking of running away, we better get this doggy to the nearest fire hydrant. Or my shoes will be ruined," Tess added with a giggle. Monica laughed.
The next day, Jennifer skipped school and decided to go to the movies. She had always dreamed of being an actress. She walked up to the concession stand. "I'll be right with you," a voice mumbled from the floor. Monica shot up quickly and startled Jennifer.
"Hi!" Jennifer said with a shocked tone. Monica smiled.
"Hello," Monica said cutely. Jennifer smiled.
"Can I have some popcorn?" she asked.
"Will that be butter, extra buttery, or death by butter?" Monica asked. Jennifer laughed. She bit her lip and thought.
"I guess I'll have 'death by butter.' I love butter." Jennifer added.
Monica handed her the popcorn. "Mind if I watch the movie with you? My shift is over now," Monica asked.
"I'd love that," Jennifer said. Monica smiled and walked around.
"What are you seeing?" Monica asked.
"A Kiss In the Rain," Jennifer said.
"Ooh, how lovely. A romantic movie," Monica said cutely. Jennifer laughed.
"You're funny, Monica," Jennifer added.
"Thank you. I try," Monica added. They laughed and walked into the movie theater together. They found a seat and sat down. The lights went off and the movie started. Monica reached her hand into the popcorn tub.
The movie was rated PG, Jennifer knew. She was not permitted to see R-rated movies, nor had she any desire to. But she enjoyed watching a good romance. For the next hour and a half, she lost herself in the movie. During that time, the hero and heroine fell in love, took walks in rainstorms, fought, and made up. Jennifer wondered if she would ever be able to become a star, herself. If she was a star, she could forget about the humiliations and embarrassments she had gone through daily, for years. People would admire her and adulate her, not look down on her.
END OF PART 1