Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers. I do own Kai and her dad, and I used to drive a Ford Contour. I also do not own Taco Bell, Pepsi, Marc Jacobs, Nissan, Ford, iPad, or anything else with a recognizable brand name. This disclaimer applies to all chapters in this story, though the brands will vary from chapter to adorkable chapter.

Warning: There is slight, very slight, cussing.

This story has been on my backburner for a few years now. I think it's ready. Please, enjoy Kai's story!

"And what do you do after you attack?"

"Nothing."

"Why nothing?"

"Because I never stop attacking."

From the movie "Enough"

From the very first time I laid eyes on it, I hated that car. Granted, I'd been seven, but I knew I hated that car with a passion. Ten years hadn't changed anything. My dad insisted on keeping the car.

It runs very good, he had said to me. It never breaks down. It never complains.

Now, I wasn't sure how a car would complain, but for a eighteen year old Ford (as in Fix Or Repair Daily), I had to admit that it did stay in very good condition. The paint wasn't showing any signs of rust. My dad drove it carefully, and so far it has never been in any accidents. For some reason, to my knowledge, no one has ever keyed it or bumped into it, or even dinged it with a shopping cart.

A Ford Contour. Seriously? My dad has a freaking love affair with it, I swear.

"Hey, Big Poppa, how about this," I didn't take my eyes off of the family iPad. "A 2012 Nissan Rogue. Wicked black, with just under twenty-five thousand miles. It's loaded to the hilt for only twenty grand."

"Nice try, Kai, but no go."

With a dramatic sigh, I rolled my eyes up at my dad. "Why? Your damned car is eighteen years old!"

My dad plopped down in a chair at the table. "Can you please stop swearing?"

"Can you please get rid of that stupid car?"

"I already told you, I'm not getting rid of it."

"Why?" I was flummoxed. "It's so old!"

He smiled at me before speaking so softly that I almost missed it. "I've got an emotional attachment to it. You know that."

Making a face, I sighed and shook my head. "You're a bit of an idiot. You know that, right?"

"End of discussion, baby."

"I'm not a baby!" I fumed. "I'm seventeen, dad, and I'm really about due for a car of my own. Don't you think?" I gestured to the iPad. "See? Like this. A Nissan Rogue that's way cooler than your nearly two decades old p.o.s. Ford."

"It's not a piece of crap, Kai." Dad ran a hand through his thick black hair and sighed again. "We don't have the money to replace it. You know that."

"We don't have the money because you keep inventing stupid stuff that people don't want!"

A flash of hurt flickered across my dad's face and I knew I'd shoved my whole leg into it. "It wasn't like that in the past."

"Dad, I'm sorry," I was mentally reaming myself out for being an insensitive bitch. "You're great at inventing stuff. I just..."

"You're kind of right, Kai," he stood up, coffee mug in hand, and shrugged. "Things aren't the way they used to be."

"I'm sure they'll get better." It sucked to have to say this, but I really had no choice. "Uh, and I figured I could take my test in the Beast."

"Really?" His eyebrows quirked up in surprise. "You? You want to take your driver's test in the car?"

I shrugged. "Not much of a choice."

"Mmm, true that." His amber eyes pierced mine. "When?"

"This weekend?" I took an innocent sip of my orange juice.

"This weekend is tomorrow."

"Better now than never?"

He chuckled. "I suppose so. And maybe by Monday the state of Florida will have another driver to be afraid of."

"You're mean, you know that?" I glared at him sullenly. "Really mean."

He just chuckled again.

Operation: Foxface

by icanhascamaro

Chapter One

My name is Kai Knight, sole daughter of Niko Knight. I'm seventeen years old, five feet nine inches tall, one hundred and thirty five pounds, and a junior at Orange Grande high school. I have straight red hair that falls just below my shoulders, blue-grey eyes, and a love for swimming. I don't participate in school sports, and I absolutely, positively hate my dad's car, nicknamed (by me) The Beast.

The hot Orlando sun beat down on me as I stood on the porch and stared at the Contour. Sunlight sparkled off of its red finish as if it was mocking me. But cars don't do that, right? Still, I highly suspected this one did.

The blue from the Ford oval embedded in the grill shone in the bright sunlight. My dad had washed and waxed the Beast for me last night, even though I'd suggested that leaving it dirty might inspire some pity in my driving test guy. Since he glamorized the Beast, I figured I should at least dress the part of the winsome teenage girl and hope that dressing as such could help my chances in passing the driving test the first time. I really didn't want to have to do this test more than once.

"Could you have dressed a little more appropriately?" My dad's voice came from behind me, tainted with disappointment. "Where did you get those clothes? I know I didn't buy them for you."

"No, really?" I drawled out as I spun around to face him, with a firmly innocent expression on my face. I smoothed down the sides of my silky green shirt and blinked up at him. He was taller than me by about five inches. "I bought them with birthday money. Jeans and a t-shirt didn't seem that bad to me."

He narrowed his eyes. "Your shirt is a little low cut."

Innocent expression firmly in place, I tilted my head. "Do you want me to put a dickey under my shirt?"

"A what!" The way his eyes bugged out was incredibly amusing.

"It's a little shirt thing that women put under another shirt to-"

"No, I know what it is," Dad took a deep sigh and let it out slowly. "Let's just go. I don't want you to be late."

And so we clambered into the Beast, which was parked on our short driveway. I had to admit that the best thing about this car was that the a/c always kicked on super high and fast. Even though the interior of the car had been really hot when we first got in, it soon cooled down to a way more reasonable temperature.

Despite my casual attitude, I was actually really nervous about this test. I hated retesting on anything. Retesting reeked of failure and I hated to fail. So as my dad guided the car along our way to the DMV, I mentally went through as many of the rules of the road as I could recall. From passing other cars, to driving on highways, to following speeding ambulances that didn't contain anyone you knew within it (not a good idea), I tried my best to know it all.

Okay, that sounded really bad. I'm definitely not a know it all. My grades at school are slightly above average at best.

We were suddenly on the expressway and, despite my dad's earlier "let's not be late" spiel, we weren't the fastest wheel on the bus. My eyes flicked over passing cars in other lanes surrounding us and I sighed. "A snail's pace won't get me there on time, pops."

"Going the speed limit, baby girl," was his reply, even though I felt the car surge forward a little more.

I grinned and resumed vehicle watching. A black blur flashed past us and I sighed. "Now there's a car."

"A Ferrari is not that interesting."

"Yeah, okay, maybe," I glanced over at my dad, who was focused on the road ahead of him. "And maybe something like a Lamborghini is a lot more interesting."

"Small, deliberately ostentatious, and overhyped," he said flatly, then flicked the turn signal on as we coasted towards the exit. "Definitely not worth the price."

"Is there no car you would want?" I felt my stomach clench with nerves because I knew that we were getting closer. "Nothing to replace this thing?"

"Nope." He grinned at my pained groan, but didn't take his eyes off of the road. "And certainly not a car that costs more than our house."

I growled out in frustration. "Well, when I move out, I'm getting my own car."

He laughed at that. "You? Move out?"

"It'll happen," I glared at him. "Trust me on that."

Approximately five minutes passed before he would reply to me, and that was only when he pulled into the DMV parking lot.

"Well, pass this test and maybe we'll see what happens."

My neck almost snapped. That's how fast I looked over at him. "Are you for real?"

"You know," he shrugged as he pulled into a parking space, and shoved the car into park. "Maybe."

"Oh my g...No way!" My fingers, which had just about finished the act of getting myself free of the seatbelt, felt numb with what he said. It slithered out of my suddenly feeling-less fingers.

"Yes way."

How he could be so calm was beyond me. I lunged at him, pulling him into a tight hug, and almost cried. "You're so awesome, it's beyond words!"

He returned the hug. "I know."

I sat back, grabbing my purse. "Okay, okay, um, oh crap."

"You didn't forget your ID, did you?"

My hair felt like a mess and I smoothed at it. "No, I'm just so excited. Can we go now?"

"Ladies first."

"Yeah," I snorted, reaching for the door handle. "Let's go so I can get my ticket to freedom."

The door chimed as we walked into the building and I froze out of fear. It was only quarter till nine and there were so many people here it was ridiculous.

Dad bumped into me with an oof of surprise. "Kai, why did you stop?"

We were just inside the building and I felt him nudge me along, pushing the small of my back. "Let's go home, okay, dad?" I said in a small voice. "I don't think I'm ready."

He chuckled as he gripped my shoulders and steered me forward. "You're ready, kiddo, trust me on that."

"I don't, I don't think so, dad," I looked up at him. "This is really deep stuff, okay? I think maybe another year and I come back."

"Another year of driving you around?" He deadpanned. "No, thanks. Let's go."

"Going home?" I asked hopefully.

"Go get in line, sweetie. It'll be over before you know it." He pressed something into my hands. "Don't forget these."

The keys to the Beast felt like a ten pound weight in my hands.

The sun was just as hot as it was when my dad and I had first gone into the building. Now it was me and the driving test guy.

The guy who was not a guy.

"I'll drive your car into the testing area," the older woman, by the name of Mrs. Fonera, who was heavy set and did not look happy about having to squeeze her immense bulk into the Beast. "And when we get there it'll be your turn."

Ever see the movie, Monsters, Inc? You know the nasally voiced female slug thing that has a beehive haircut? Mrs. Fonera reminds me of a (barely) human version of her.

A lot.

Right down to the voice and lazy "I don't really care to be here" attitude.

I nodded wordlessly, gulped, and handed her the keys. Luckily for me, the Beast cooperated for her and unlocked with the first click of the remote. Normally you have to have the remote almost right up against the door, even if you know there's a fresh battery in the remote (which has happened to me more than once, twice, or ten times). People think that cats are jerks. I beg to differ. This car is a total jerk.

We both got into the Beast, though it was a bit of a squeeze for the madam. The car started up smoothly and shifted just as well and, faster than I was comfortable with, we'd crossed the parking lot and entered the driving test area.

She parked the car soon after entering the test area, opened the door and got out. She motioned for me to do the same.

My ears were ringing as I got out and we exchanged seats. The steering wheel was smooth under my hands but when I closed the door, the slam of the door sounded weird to me.

Mrs. Fonera squeezed her bulk in and closed the door. "First things first. Please show me, in order, lowering the front windows, and then activating the wipers, the headlights, and the turn signals."

I complied, going through the motions, and once I finished, I looked over at the woman. There was a glint in her dull blue eyes, one that made me nervous. Her smooth skin was slightly tanned, but still pretty pasty for southern Florida.

When she opened her mouth, it was like it was in slow motion. I could see spittle stretch from her lower teeth to her upper teeth (okay, that could be a slight exaggeration), and she had a smudge of red lipstick on her upper front teeth.

"Drive forward." The words dragged out in a way that made her voice sound alien.

Stage fright was the best way to describe it, followed by blanking at a pop quiz. "Drive...forward?"

Time resumed its natural course. "Put the vehicle in gear and drive forward, along the road."

The road was a fake road, as the entire course wasn't on the actual road (of course). It had parking areas, wide two lanes, single lanes, and a whole bunch of stuff that was freaking me out.

"F...forward, of course," I stammered as my right hand fumbled along the gear shift. For a heartbeat, the shifter didn't want to work, and then (as I was really sweating it out - no a/c on during the test as per the rules) it worked and slid smoothly into drive.

The Beast rumbled forward along the tree lined fake street, picking up slight speed and a bit of a breeze. This street was a single lane, smooth paved, that was aiming directly for a right bend. I was good at bends, I could make the car turn, I would not freak out this soon.

Luckily, the bend was good. It went as well as anyone (namely, me) could anticipate.

"Good, Miss. Knight," she made a mark on her clipboard. How had I missed the clipboard? "Let's try parallel parking."

I felt faint. Well, shit, son.

When I walked out of the DMV about a half an hour later, I was in a complete daze. Dad steered me with an arm over my shoulders as we made our way to the Beast. He unlocked the doors with the remote (which worked on the first try because while the Beast hates me, it loves everyone else) and opened the passenger side door for me.

"Unless you want to take the wheel?"

His words snapped me out of my funk. "What? No!" I faltered. "I mean, not yet. I just got the thing like five minutes ago." Actually more like forty minutes ago. It took forever to get through the photo line. It was a picture I wanted no one to look at. Like, ever.

Dad's grin was both smug and annoying. "Not ready to unleash your talents on the world just yet, huh?"

"I'm not insured yet," I reminded him with a bit of a defensive snip in my voice. "Unless you did that already?"

"Er, no."

I rolled my eyes and stood back as I opened the door, letting the hot air out of the Beast. I'd had to put the windows back up at the end of the test. "Just as I thought."

Dad opened his door, waved a hand at the heated air that rolled out of his side, and then climbed in. "Well, let's get going. How about a celebratory lunch?"

I hopped inside, wincing as my bare arm touched the sun heated metal of the seat belt. "Red Lobster?"

He fastened his seat belt and made a face as he put the key in the ignition. "I was thinking more along the lines of Taco Bell."

"Okay, sure, big spender," I was going to rest my elbow on the window sill, but it was way too hot for that. "Way to celebrate your only daughter's biggest achievement."

"Biggest achievement?" He frowned. "So does that mean you're not going to get a Pulitzer or some other award?"

I glared over at him. "Let's go celebrate before one of us says something to completely ruin the moment."

We opted to eat in the restaurant, but at one of the window seats overlooking the parking lot. I sat at the booth, elbows on the table and my chin resting on my palms, and stared at the cars. Lots of cars on a sunny saturday like today. Of course, convertibles are slightly popular here.

As my dad sat down with the tray, I reached over to grab my food. I wasn't that hungry (I was still winding down from driving test nerves) and had only ordered one soft taco. Dad had gotten some huge burrito thing. I didn't think that I even wanted to know what it was or how many billions of calories had to be in it.

We unwrapped our food and began to eat in silence. The speakers overhead were piping in some random boy band song. Other people in the restaurant were chatting amongst themselves, but it was nothing but silence with me and my dad.

Sunlight glinted on my bracelet and I blinked away the glare from the sun that reflected off of it. Dad had given the bracelet to me years ago. I can't even remember a time when I'd been without it. He said it was my lucky charm, the one thing beyond me that my mom had treasured, and she had given to me before she'd died. Well, she'd given it to dad to give to me later. He didn't really go into her death, other than saying it had happened fast. But this simple silver bracelet had been a gift to me from her. He'd said it happened when I was three, so I really didn't remember anything of her. To add to that, we'd lost everything in a hurricane when I was six. We'd rebuilt, but stayed in the area.

It was all that we knew and, in the end, you stay with the devil you know, you know?

A flash of purple caught my eye and I looked to the right, at the parking lot. I'd initially thought it could be Cleo, with her flashy purple Eclipse, but what I saw was so much better. The object of my eye candy affection was parked two spots away from the Beast.

"Wow," I breathed out. "Now there's a car."

"Huh?" My dad blinked at me, with mouth full of mashed up things that used to be animal, vegetation, and dairy. "What?"

"There," I gestured to the parking lot. "Nice Mustang."

At my words, my dad's head snapped in the direction I'd been pointing at. He moved so fast it was almost funny. When he saw the car, which was a slick dark purple convertible with a black cloth top, he seemed to relax. He actually sighed.

"What's with that reaction?" I laughed a little and looked back at the car. Two girls around my age were just getting out of it, lucky bitches. One had long blonde hair that was protected by a wide brimmed hat, while the other wore sunglasses, no hat, and had short blonde hair. Both had figures to die for. I bet they did juice diets.

The short haired girl pushed her sunglasses up on top of her head and leaned against the car, while the other blonde sat on the trunk. Shortie scowled at the other girl but said nothing. The whole thing looked weird to me. I wondered if they were dating. Not that I cared, though the one with the short hair looked a little butch.

"Earth to Kai," my dad was suddenly waving a hand in front of my face. "Wake up, or do I need to send space rangers to find you?"

"Dad, stop!" I groaned. "Why the hell did you guys call me Kai, anyway?"

"It was the nineties," he said as he chomped down on the remains of his lunch. "It was either what you have now or Cleo, since Miss Cleo was big around then. Besides, your mom seemed to think it was a fine name, and we were maybe a little drunk at the time. Of course, because we weren't allowed to bring alcohol into the hospital, we were drunk on love and all of the joy that comes with the birth of your firstborn child."

Please note, I translated this from his nearly unintelligible mumbling around a mouthful of food.

"Cleo might have been better," I sighed and tried to ignore the thought of my parents drunk naming me. "Why couldn't my name be Nicole or Jacqueline or something? Isabella, even."

Food completely gone and cleaned out by a sip of orange soda, my dad fixed me with a very serious expression. "I'll be honest, Kai. Your mom loved Cleopatra, as in the Egyptian queen, but I told her there was no way you could grow up with that sort of a name. Kids would've teased you into an angsty heap."

"Or maybe I'd have grown into it," I leaned back in the seat, thinking about Cleo and her snobby, queen B life. "And maybe I could've ended up on the cheerleading squad, dating the quarterback, and driving a sexy convertible."

"Convertibles aren't sexy," Dad countered and put all of our trash on the tray. "Now, I've got some business to attend to in the men's room. You can go out to the car if you want to."

"The Beast and me?" I snorted. "No thanks. I'll wait until you get back."

"Suit yourself." He tossed me the keys anyway, which I promptly caught (regrettably, because I hit my elbow on the table to catch the damned things and, ouch, that hurt). "Go on out if you get bored."

"Don't take forever!"

"No promises."

I watched him leave and sighed. There was no way a father could ever understand about cool names or, better yet, sexy cars. Especially not my dad who had a love affair with his Ford Contour. My gaze found the two girls again, who were still by the Mustang. This time both girls were standing next to the car, talking with animated gestures. They kept pointing at the restaurant and back.

It was only when Shortie looked dead in my eyes that I felt a chill along my spine. She was really creepy. It was like looking into the bleak gaze of a great white shark, only this shark had on really great makeup and what looked like a pair of new Marc Jacobs sunglasses.

Then she looked back at the other girl and jerked her head in my direction, which worried me. Had I crossed their paths before? Did I piss them off? I sipped at my Pepsi and squelched that thought. No chance had I ever met them before. More than likely one of them didn't want to eat here and I just happened to be in her line of sight.

Still, I was curious.

With my Pepsi in my left hand, I got up and wandered outside. There were a couple of tables set up outside, and there were people using them, so it wasn't like I was going out to face these chicks without any witnesses. I'd just pushed open the second of the double doors and stepped into the parking lot to see that the Mustang wasn't in sight.

With a frown, I blinked. The hell? It had just been here not even a second ago. There was no way for it to just leave. The two girls had been standing by the trunk when I was walking outside.

In fact, there was an ancient looking purple jalopy in its place that was a beat up hot mess and no people near it. Had I imagined the car? But no, my dad had seen it, too. But what about the two girls? I know I'd seen them.

Or maybe I was imagining it and he played along with me. Maybe a Mustang had driven down the street right outside of the parking lot as I'd pointed out what I thought I'd seen in the parking lot.

This was turning out to be a really queerballs kind of day.

Spinning around on my heel, I went back inside to wait for my dad. If he took much longer, I'd go out to the Beast by myself.

And, eew, to that.

:The femme almost saw us!:

:Female,: a patient sigh. :They're females and males here, not femmes and mechs.:

:I don't care what they're called on this slagging dirtball,: came the answering snarl. :She almost saw us. We could've blown our cover!:

:There's no chance she'd have figured us out. We're under perfect cover, fragger.:

:Get this holo off of my alt!:

:No can do. We're supposed to be deep undercover anyway. Some scout you are.:

:I'm the best. I don't need you to tell me how to do my job.:

:Whatever. You owe me a round of high-grade after this slagging nightmare.:

:Unnecessary chatter. You're sure that's the mech?:

:One hundred percent probability.:

:We'll both keep an eye on him and report back to Lord Megatron. He will be very interested in this development.:

My most sincere apologies to anyone living in Florida who might think "that's not how it is living here" because I do not live in Florida. I visited there once in 2007. Lovely place, but it's pretty much a faded memory. Soooo...any incorrect characterizations (especially dedicated to the weather) are all mine.

So, this is Kai's story. I hope you'll enjoy her and the story! Updates should come on Wednesdays.

Please leave a note/review/etc if you liked it!