Chapter 1

Meet…ME!

My morning had started off so very boring. Leader had called me at around four in the morning and as of now, I'm on my way to speak with him.

He sounded very angry, so I thought I would give him some time to cool down. I gave him a little over thirty minutes. Then I got extremely bored and decided to head over to his room.

I started that journey about two minutes ago and I am now reaching his door. Leader's door is so hard to miss. It is the most cryptic one in the building. The design is that of two snakes twisting around each other over and over again, then they meet each other face to face at the very top.

I stop in front of the door and knock two times. The door creaks open and a cold deep voice says the word, "enter."

'Geez…could he get anymore cryptic?'

'I know right? I mean, no one has seen his face and his room is always dark…What is wrong with him?'

'You think he has an inner self like us?'

'Not likely, but who knows.'

'Seriously. Look at us! We are known to be one of the most murderous, emotionless people in the world, but look at us!'

'Guess you're right. Well, we should go in before people start worrying.'

'kk.'

I finally enter the room with the stealth of a cat and sit down next to who I believe to be Kisame.

"Who will give me the mission report?"

Kisame looks at me as if telling me to answer, but to no avail. We all sit in silence for what seems like hours, but we know better than that. After of what I estimate to be about five minutes of silence, I begin to feel a dark aura surround the leader.

'Why isn't Gill Guy answering?'

'I don't know! He knows I don't like to talk!'

'Well he better answer fast! Leader is getting angry!'

'I know! And I sure as hell ain't answering after we failed! Damn it Kisame! ANSWER!'

As if Kisame was reading my mind, he answers.

"Failed. The kyuubi was able to escape us with the help of the legendary sanin Jaraiya."

'Escape is an understatement! We almost got our ass kicked by that frog freak!'

'Shut up, we could've beaten him!'

'Naw-uh!'

'Yeah-huh!'

'Naw-uh!'

'Yeah-huh!'

'Naw-'

"Uchiha!"

Someone yelling my last name disturbed my fight with my inner self and made me look to see who wanted my attention…I saw Leader glaring at me…

'See what you did Ita?'

'Sorry Itachi, I didn't mean to!'

'Just shut up and leave already…'

'Fine…bye!!!'

"I'm sorry leader," I answered with my same old monotone voice. "Since we failed, I do believe we should try it once again."

'So you wanna kill us?'

'I thought I told you to leave.'

'So what if you did?'

'I'll kill you…'

'So you're threatening to kill yourself? That's new.'

'Your point?'

'AHH!! We're suicidal!'

'…'

Apparently while I was having this great conversation with myself, Leader said some very important things.

"Did you get all of that Uchiha?"

Even though I have no earthly idea what he said, I decided to stay with my well known 'I heard everything and don't really car attitude.'

"Hn," was my simple reply.

"Very well then. It's settled. You will leave tomorrow at four in the morning for Konoha.