A/N: I didn't say this for "Citadel Afterparty" so I'll say it here. A lot of the Shepards I read are paragon, and most of these stories are in third person. Well, I'm a renegade girl, through and through, only nice to my squad, so my Talia is a bit... different than the Sheps I've read. So, hopefully I have a few fellow renegades out there looking for a good read for our very lovely human/turian couple. As for the point of view, as a "choose your own fate" sort of game, and how immersive it is, I see these stories as great chances for first person When I play, I am Talia, and so I'd like that to reflect in my writing, and I'd like you all as readers to take on the perspective of her, or by envisioning your own renegade Shepard. I try to leave her specific details out, and stick to generics that our Jane has (from my perspective, all our custom names should be middle names, so I've got Jane Talia Shepard XD). So I think I've chewed your ears off enough. On with the actual story!

I dragged a towel through my hair, glad to be rid of the after-battle gunk. I was never a priss, but what girl could say no to a hot shower? It wasn't exactly the hot tub that waited for me at the apartment (mm, the memories of that hot tub), but it worked just as well to clean. I hissed at a sudden knot on my side. The shower worked well in the cleanliness area, but not so much in relaxation. I wrapped the towel over my chest, leaving my hair to dry on its own.

The door slid open as I approached it, running a brush through my shoulder-length locks. I frowned at my private terminal as I saw it flashing. I put the brush down next to the terminal and brought up the message.

Commander,

Since we have to go all over the Citadel to drop shit off, why not take a day to relax?

-Joker

I smiled and shook my head. Why not? I needed the break from the missions and the bullets. Not that it ever stopped idiots from causing my trigger finger to "slip" while I was trying oh-so hard to get rid of my scars. Karin had insisted several times she could heal them if I couldn't keep my bullets in their clip, but I didn't see the point. I did what I had to do. I gave very little chances to warrant my mercy to those who met my gun.

Besides. I wasn't the only one to be driven wild by scars.

I sat at the terminal, tapping reply.

Why not? It'd be nice to sleep in my own apartment for once.

I leaned back in my chair, turning to watch the fish. I had missed my hamster, but he couldn't be returned to the shelf. While I couldn't hold the fish, I could still take some calm from their movements. I was at least getting some sort of catharsis from the animals, as meager as the interaction was.

Immediately, my terminal pinged with messages, all asking if I wanted to do something when I had dropped off all the missions I had picked up around the Citadel. I groaned and let my head fall back to the rest. No rest for the wicked, indeed. I had given them a damned party last week, to raise their spirits about the inevitable battle.

I'd have to make a note to be a little less paragon with my crew if I wanted any moment of peace alone. Or, not really alone.

"Shepard, is it just the alcohol talking, or do you have vids running in your head of us mostly naked, completely alone, and shamelessly rolling all over a couch?"

I bit my lip, sorting through the messages. We had tried that, but there wasn't much room to roll around on couches in my small seating area. That apartment, however…

I heard they rebuilt the sushi place and included dextro seafood. We should go and have a few drinks.

-Tali

I frowned at that one. My friendship with Tali was starting to become strained. I was typically not a jealous woman. I knew he had been with other women, and he knew I had been with other men. From what I understood, he was actually quite attractive by turian standards, and so it didn't surprise me if he ever turned heads. He took the turns I received with a grain of salt. He would just make more of a show to spur jealousy.

However, after going to check on him and her in both the main battery and engineering, I had found them conversing. His side was full of camaraderie, but hers… I was a woman. I knew the flirting games. There are some things a translator is not needed for.

Speaking of…

I needed to ask Chakwas something anyway

I got dressed, leaving the rest of the messages to sit for later. The ship time was pretty late anyway. The reason why I received so many messages was probably due to last-minute tablet dabbling as the others in my squad were supposed to be sleeping. When I was supposed to be sleeping. I frowned as I pulled a loose tank over my head, not bothering with a bra. I was going right to sleep after my inquiry. Hopefully. The nightmares were becoming too much.

I slipped a black N7 sweater over the white tank, pulling my wet hair from the hood. It was two sizes too big, but I made do. Apparently when I placed the order, they thought I was a man. I scoffed, pulling on black sleep shorts, long enough for my comfort. I hated crotch huggers, yet these still were almost invisible under the jacket. I wasn't afraid of my legs. I worked damn hard for the physique I had.

I left the cabin, in search of some sort of escape to sleep for at least tonight.