A/N: This is my first fanfic ever!! Please go easy on me!! It was inspired by two of my favorite Taylor Swift songs: The Outside and of course Stay beautiful. Enjoy!! I would also like to take the time to dedicate this to Inulover4eva!! Thanks so much you ROCK!!
Disclaimer: I do not own LIfe With Derek, even though I wish I did!!
Stay Beautiful
Casey ran upstairs in a mad dash, trying to retreat from the kitchen that was now a laughing stock. It was normal for Edwin to laugh, maybe even Marti, but the rest of her family? And her former boyfriend? It wasn't like it was all that funny anyways it was hurtful and rude. But then again, it was Derek who said it, and his insults always hurt her more than they should. That insensitive jerk of a stepbrother had managed to do it again. He knew just about everyway to make her life miserable and it pained her to no end to know that she had no way of effectively retaliating.
As Casey reached her door she stopped to hear her mother almost choke to stop laughing and warn Derek to knock it off and to just go apologize. Casey snorted in disgust, already knowing the answer.
"Me? Apologize to Casey? For what? Being honest?" Came Derek's annoying reply.
"No, for being rude and totally inconsiderate to your sister. Go upstairs right now and apologize, and mean it, Derek Venturi." George was being completely serious by now, Casey could tell by his tone of voice. But, as usual, Derek just shrugged it off in his cold, uncaring nature and went back to eating.
Casey could've walked right back down there and slap, no punch, Derek right in his mouth just for being alive. Instead she stormed into her room, slamming the door behind her, and collapsed onto her bed. She buried her face into her pillow and clutched at her blanket. Her lower lip quivered and the tears she had been holding back threatened to spill over. His words still echoing in her head…
"Oh PLEASE! Who would want to take Klutzilla to the prom? You can't even stand still without falling, do you honestly think someone would put their life in danger by dancing with you?"
With those words said, the whole table let out a laugh, not an uproar of laughter, but they all laughed just the same.
Not really wanting to admit it, that had really hurt Casey. Her whole life she had felt like her family didn't really pay attention to her or even care, and now that she was forced to live in the Venturi household, those feelings just increased. Stifling a sob, she rolled over on to her side with her back to the doorway to gaze out the window.
Silent tears rolled of her cheeks onto her pillow and not once did she even wipe them away. Casey just laid there motionless, willing not to let anger get the best of her and run back down there and strangle Derek.
Did he even have a clue how much he hurt her? Not just tonight, but every day of her life? Casey cringed, probably not. Even if he did, it wasn't like he cared. She finally concluded that was what had truly hurt her worst of all, the fact that Derek really didn't give a damn about her or her petty girl feelings as he liked to call them. He hated her like she was suppose to be hating him.
She pulled her pillow tighter to her chest as new tears began to fill her eyes. She cried her heart out until she finally fell into a restless sleep.
Derek made his way up the stairs shortly after Sam left. He paused before entering his room and turned to Casey's closed door. No sounds could be heard and he wondered if he should actually go apologize to his stepsister. Derek winced at the thought and began wondering when the hell he had developed a conscience. He could just imagine Jiminy Cricket popping up on his shoulder, and cheerfully announcing that he should just let his conscience be his guide. Derek let out a shudder of disgust and slipped into his bedroom.
He hadn't really meant to hurt her feelings that bad. In fact he had just wanted to get a rise out of her. God knows how fun it was to see her huff in anger and stomp off in that prissy little way of hers. He lazily fell onto his bed and grabbed the remote to his stereo.
As he was flipping through radio stations, a song and it's lyrics seemed to snag him. It was the song that Casey had always blasted annoyingly when riding in the car.
I didn't know what I would find
When I went looking for a reason, I know
I didn't read between the lines
And, baby, I've got nowhere to go
I tried to take the road less traveled by
But nothing seems to work the first few times
Am I right?
Derek sat up a little and tried to listen to the song a little more intently….
So how can I ever try to be better?
Nobody ever lets me in
I can still see you, this ain't the best view
On the outside looking in
I've been a lot of places
I've never been on the outside
He let the words sink in and it suddenly reminded him of Casey at dinner. How her eyes filled immediately with tears, how she yelled at him through gritted teeth about how such a jerk he was, and how she fled the scene to cry in the comfort of her room. He also thought about how terrifying it must have truly been to be thrust into a new home and immediately be taunted by a complete egotistical stranger, that stranger being Derek. He couldn't even see that he had forced her to become an outsider. She had always been so strong and so ready to fight back at every low blow he sent her way. So why was she being so overly sensitive now? And why was he feeling so guilty?
You saw me there, but never knew
I would give it all up to be
A part of this, a part of you
And now it's all too late so you see
You could've helped if you had wanted to
But no one notices until it's too
Late to do anything
Thatvery uncomfortable and very unwelcome feeling of guilt shot through his body once more and Derek began pondering why he was even so cruel to her in the first place. Sure she had barged into his life uninvited and made it a challenge but didn't he like to be challenged? She had made everything so damn organized and neat but wasn't it nice know where the toothpaste was for a change? And lastly, she had dated his best friend but was it really even his choice who Sam dated, even if it was his klutzy stepsister? No, Derek thought, it wasn't that at all. It was the fact that she was Casey, beautiful, challenging, organized, prim and proper Casey Macdonald, and he couldn't have her. Ever.
And why should he want her at all? She was his stepsister first of all. She was a grade grubber to boot. She was extremely clumsy and very overdramatic. She always acted like a Princess. She cried during every sappy movie he was forced to watch on the Macdonald girls' movie nights. Not only that but she was his arch nemesis and well, she was Casey for Christ's sake! She wasn't his type, not at all, or so he tried to convince himself.
So how can I ever try to be better?
Nobody ever lets me in
I can still see you, this ain't the best view
On the outside looking in
I've been a lot of places
I've never been on the outside
The thought of apologizing came to his mind once more and this time it wasn't as easily shot down. Maybe he should, Derek thought, it might make her feel a little bit better knowing there was a heart in Derek Venturi after all. Or maybe he shouldn't, seeing as it could probably just make things a lot worse. He could picture it now.
He would walk to her room, knock maybe once or twice, and if she didn't answer he would just barge in and say, "I'm so sorry Case for making you feel oh so bad in your time of residence in my home." She, being the forgiving girl she was, would say something like "Oh it is okay Der, I forgive you whole heartedly." NOT. She would slam the door in his face but not after she smacked him for being such an "insensitive jerk".
Derek sighed and rolled off his bed, it was worth a shot right?
So how can I ever try to be better?
Nobody ever lets me in
I can still see you, this ain't the best view
On the outside looking in
I've been a lot of lonely places
I've never been on the outside
Derek walked the few feet to her door, making sure he made no noise whatsoever. He raised his hand to knock before his second thoughts got the best of him and his hand stilled in midair. Why again was he doing this? Because of a small attack of a barely there conscience?
Maybe he wasn't ready to give in and be a nice guy or tell her he was sorry. Because he was sorry, he was dreadfully sorry he had ever made her feel so low, especially since he knew why he did the things he did. His hand dropped back to his side but he didn't back away. He simply stood there thinking. Maybe he just wasn't ready to give in to what his conscience was telling him to do.
Not only tell her your sorry about tonight, tell her the whole story, tell her everything.
His hand came back up into a ball, ready to knock but something kept tugging at his insides. What if she didn't except the apology? Was he ready to face Casey?
A/N :Well there it is!!! The first chapter and I hope not the last!! Please review!! I would really love to hear your thoughts!!