Emily knew she was different.
She knew that she didn't stare at girls like she should. She knew she definitely shouldn't be feeling the way towards Alison she did. She was wrong and disgusting and hated herself for it because Alison would never feel the same way, Alison would hate her.
Apparently not.
On the night everything changed, Emily didn't tell the other girls she was spending time with Alison. She kept it as her own secret for now because it was something for them, for her. She could be the one to listen to Ali laugh and tease her, to watch a movie and have her undivided attention when she spoke. And then, she would lie down in Alison's bed, curled towards the middle to watch her sleep, to say goodbye to this precious time.
Then Alison kissed her.
Enjoyment and fear and shame rushed through her veins. She gasped and if it wasn't for Alison holding her she would've fled before thinking about what was happening. Then she wouldn't have had the chance to relax, to enjoy the kiss, to kiss back even.
If she had fled she would never had heard Alison say she loves her, she would never had said that she loved her back.
Which she did.
Because Emily couldn't ever, ever, love anyone else.
Not while Ali loved her.