A/N: So...this is my first Vampire Diaries fanfiction. Please be kind, but I always appreciate constructive feedback.
It seemed like forever since Elena could have a private moment with herself. Ever since Jeremy's death she had been walking around on autopilot, her humanity shut off and with it her guilt, anxiety, love had gone with it. Damon had been right; at the time it was exactly what she needed. At first it was almost freeing. No more heartache, no more grieving.
When Damon had brought her back and Elena had to deal with her brother's death, she begged Damon and then Stephen to shut it off again. It was the first time that the brother's had agreed on what was best for her. It had taken nearly a week of isolating herself from her thoughts and her friends before finally letting it all out –the sobbing, the yelling, the breakdown—and the hurt stopped feeling like it was suffocating her. There were hours where she thought she wouldn't survive and hours that weren't quite so bad. Damon was there for it all, even when Elena pushed him away.
Now, nearly a month after her humanity was switched on, Elena lay down on her bed; Damon's bed in the Salvatore mansion, spending her time looking through what few family mementos had survived her arson at the old house. She was grateful that she had unknowingly protected the last tangible memories she had of her parents and Jenna, Jeremy, Alaric and even her birth parents. Holding up a picture Alaric had given her of Isobel, Elena wondered why all of this was happening to her; to her family. And the answer to that question was blatantly obvious.
Niklaus Mikaelson was to blame for it all, especially the predicament she was in now. If only he never existed than none of it would have ever happened. Katherine never would have been turned and certainly wouldn't have used Jeremy to get to the cure. Why? Why was it her punishment in life to be at his mercy?
Putting the picture of Isobel back in her box of tragedies, her eyes caught a glimpse of her birth mother's research. Elena had found it after Alaric's death, tucked neatly into his messenger bag, though hadn't really ever given it another thought. Now, picking the papers up, Elena briefly thumbed through it until something strange caught her eyes. A list of names had been compiled but Elena recognized several of them from the Petrova family tree and the others were unfamiliar. Grabbing her computer, Elena began typing in the unfamiliar names.