Title: My Cause of Pain

Author: HisLoveNeverDies13

Genre: Angst

Sorry for misspells and wrong grammer and crap! I don't own.
Review?

Crying

That's the only thing I know how to do anymore. Perfectly. Smiling isn't an option for me anymore. Is it really better to feel pain than nothing at all? And when I do smile, it has traces of happiness left on the outline of my lips and my eyes. Traces of Happiness. Is that really possible?

My question is – what had caused all of my pain? Loneliness? No, I've always been alone, especially after my mother died. Loneliness was not the cause of my pain and neither was my mother's death.

So I just sit near the window and look at the stars. I want to smile again; to be happy! But who knows what that will happen?

A few days ago, I remember coming home so angry for some reason and I cut off my waist length hair up to my shoulders. Why was I angry? I was probably pissed at myself and tired of all the bullshit that's been happening around me. I don't know. Is this the cause of my pain?

Everything that's happening around me?

I shift around in my spot and felt silent tear drops run down my face and onto the floor. I taught myself this you know? To be quiet when I'm crying. I hate it when people worry about me. I hate it.

My father disowned me a few months ago, that's not it either. Ive always known that he was going to do that. Since I was a little girl.

I just passed my twenty-third birthday. All of my friends are already married – in love.

Sakura just got married to Naruto, the man of my dreams. I wish I could've done something about it, but I wanted Naruto to be happy with whom he chose and I knew he would be.

Ten-ten got married with my cousin Neji. I was happy for them. They've been in love since they first saw each other.

Ino got married to my teammate, Kiba. I was shocked and I didn't even know that they were going out – everyone else did. I felt so stupid and left out when I heard that.

Then you know everyone probably got married to people around the villages – except for Shikamaru, he got married to the Suna girl Temari.

I punched the wall that I was leaning on and realized what cause the fear and the pain that I have.

I'm never going to be loved.

That was my pain. Has never been loved. I started to cry harder and more tears came out of my eyes. I will never be loved. I can't help but repeat the words in my head. My mother loved me. But then she died and then no one else did.

My father had said before that no one loves a weakling. He's right. I am weak – no one will love me. I'm getting older and there will be a time when I can't date anymore. Even Hanabi has a boyfriend and she is sixteen.

I lay on the floor curled up in a ball and cried my heart out.

Mother, I thought. I need help here.

But as usual, I don't get a reply. I will never get a reply because the only one that loves me is in heaven. I love all of them.

My friends, Naruto, even my jerk dad who cares nothing for me. I love all of them and I will never be loved back.

In some way I guess that they do love me but not in the way I want them to love me.

I will never be loved. Simple as that.