Disclaimer: I do not own anything relating to "How I Met Your Mother." This is merely my own idea of how season 9 would go down.
A/N: Also I'd like it to be known that I will be focusing mainly on Ted's story. I won't tie up all the loose ends of the show (that's the real writers' job).
[Year 2030]
"Kids, I've been telling you the back story of How I Met Your Mother…," a much older and experienced Ted told his two children on the couch.
"C'mon dad! It feels like it's been 9 years since you've started!" The son whined impatiently
"Yeah dad, I kinda wanna go out and hang with my friends" Ted's daughter agreed
"Hold on, I'm almost done" he reassured
"Really?" They both asked hopefully as they inched onto the edge of their seats
"No, not really" after a heavy sigh and slumping back into the couch, Ted cleared his throat to grab their attention before continuing his story.
"Now where was I? Oh yes! It was the Friday before your Aunt Robin and Uncle Barney's wedding"
[Present Day]
Ted and Lily both sat in a comfortable silence while Ted continued to drive over to Farhampton (I assume that's where it takes place, very little is actually known about the wedding). Well, it was a comfortable silence for Lily anyways as she was daydreaming about what she would do in Rome with Marshall and baby Marvin. Ted on the other hand, hand much more dire thoughts running through his head.
'Should I give Robin her old necklace? The weekend she marries one of my best friends? I mean wouldn't that be weird? No that wouldn't be weird! If anything I would be doing her a favor! Sort of like a maid-of-honor, like Lily!' Ted smiled to himself a bit at his own reasoning.
'If Lily blubbered out she loved her on the first date, stole a smurf-penis, made it rain, dated her for a year, ultimately broke up with her, only to see her run into Barney's arms and realize she never truly got over her.' At this thought Ted's small hopeful smile turned into a sad gloomy frown.
'C'mon Ted…this is their wedding, you should be happy for them! They both got over their irrational fear of commitment and decided to marry each other. Get over yourself, you selfish jerk!' Ted mentally scolded himself, scowling in the rearview mirror. Unbeknownst to him, Lily was watching his change of emotions with a curious glance.
"Um, Ted…? Are you alright?" Lily asked cautiously, knowing she surprised him a bit.
"Wh-what? Oh! No! Just dealing with the fact that LeBron is in another Conference Title Series" Ted lied lamely, looking awkwardly away from Lily
"Where's the poop Ted?"
"Do you really have to say it like that?"
"Ted. Poop, where is it?" Lily asked a little more annoyed
"Ok fine! I was just…thinking about the wedding…and how awful of a friend I am" Ted admitted dejectedly
"Ted, you're not an awful friend"
"Yes I am…I'm actually contemplating on giving Robin back her necklace"
"I thought I told you to…"
"Be careful, I know! But Lily…you have to understand, Robin and I… we have too much history together. Maybe I shouldn't even go to the wedding" Ted trailed off
"No! You have to go! They're two of your best friends! And you're the best man!"
"The best man to a wedding deep down I can't approve of Lily! …Just the thought of Robin walking down that aisle…hurts me to my core"
Lily for the first time took a deep glance at her closest male friend who wasn't named Marshal Erickson. She could practically feel the bottomless heartache that radiated off him in waves. Something she never would of thought she would see in the optimist of the group.
"…Pull over for a minute" Lily commanded him calmly
"What? Lily…I can't stop the car" Ted countered, shocked at her sudden order
"Why not?" Lily asked him, still in her relaxed demeanor
"Because we're on a fixed schedule. If I stop, you could be late to the wedding"
"Don't you mean we?"
"…."
"Ted you're not serious about not going, are you?" Lily became a little worried
"I…don't know…I just think maybe it would be better for everyone if I wasn't there for the wedding all together"
"Ok, now you really have to pull over"
"Lily, I already said…"
"I'm not asking you; I'm telling you" With a heavy sigh he obliged. Ted hit his right turn signal and slowly came to a halt on the shoulder of the freeway.
"Ok, Ms. Aldren" Ted grumbled, referring back to her years of teaching kindergarten
"Ted, I'm doing this because I love you" as soon as she said that, she slapped Ted over the back of the head
"Ow! Lily! What was that for?" he whined as he childishly rubbed the back of his head
"To knock some sense into you! You are going to this wedding! You're going to enjoy yourself! You will be there for you emotionally crippled friends! And for the love of all that is good in this world, you will be sure I get drunk enough at this wedding to forget about my overbearing mother-in-law!" Lily growled dangerously
"…but Lily…"
"Ted, I know it hurts…believe me I know. When I got back from San Francisco, and I saw Marshall out in the dating world; it hurt, it really, really hurt. But I had to get over it and…"
"Didn't you jump one of his dates at the apartment?" he said with a chuckle
"I didn't jump her…I just hopped from behind the couch and the bitch was in the way." She tried to explain herself
"Sure" he rolled his eyes "Besides, you and Marshall ended up together…I don't think I'll have such luck"
"That's not the point. The point is, no matter how much it hurts, or how low you feel, there's no where else to go but up" she said softly before she carefully grabbed one of his hands and stroked it much like a mother would to her saddened child.
"I know you're losing hope, but Ted, don't! Believe me, she's out there. Your soul mate, and she's ready to meet you. She's going to be perfect for you, and that's why she can't be Robin. The moment you can truly let go of her, will be the moment you're ready for your actual soul mate."
"But what if you're wrong Lily? What if there is nobody actually out there for me?" Ted inquired, eyes glistening with hopelessness
"Then, I'll dump Marshall and marry you. Dinners with the gang will be awkward, but that's what he gets for using the word 'moist' last time we watched 'Predator'" Lily joked lightheartedly, actually causing Ted to chuckle.
"So…you really think she's out there huh?"
"I know she's out there. Now let's get a move on! You'll never find her here"
"…Thanks Lily…I…needed that" he whispered with sad somewhat hopeful smile. She returned the smile before wrapping her arms around his neck in a consoling embrace.
"Well…we got a wedding to attend! And Teddy-West-Side even has his speech all written up" he smirked proudly
"Please don't pull a 'classic Shmosby'" Lily cried out laughing while Ted pursed his lips in playful annoyance
"Not this time…this time I got everything planned out" and just like that, he pushed down on the left turn signal and merged back onto the freeway. Farhampton bound.