Disclaimer: This is an AU that's been bouncing around in my head. I tried to write the actual story, but the words won't come. I'm not entirely sure how it turned out.
"Tell me a story,"
"Once there was a beautiful princess..."
"Not that one, I've heard that one a thousand times,"
"Once there was an assassin,"
"No, I've heard that one a million times."
"What do you want to hear?"
"A new story."
"About what?"
"Family? Maybe the Force. Possibly Jedi."
"That's a tall order."
"Tell me something different,"
"Once upon a time, there was a young girl named Aru. The Jedi found her when she was very little, and decided that she should be trained because she was strong in the force. On that same trip, another being, a boy named Eru was found. He was older, older than the Jedi were used to, but powerful. The two of them were brought before the council, and tested,"
"Tested?"
"It was a test to see how powerful they were. Aru was nothing special, not really. If she was to be trained, she would be average at best. But Eru, Eru's test was different, for the Masters felt he was too old to train. They tried to decipher his future,"
"But Father says the future is always in motion,"
"It is, because we can make choices. But the Council needed to have an idea of the path Eru would take. And they couldn't find it."
"How come?"
"Because there was a darkness the swallowed his future up, and blocked the sight of the Masters. And it made them afraid. They were afraid of what that meant, for the boy, for themselves, for the Jedi. And maybe they were right to be afraid, and maybe they were wrong. But at first they did not want to train the boy,"
"Boy? But how is that old?"
"It was a different time, when Jedi began their training while children. The Masters felt Eru was too old, too strange to train. And so they said no. It took the death of the Jedi who found Aru and Eru for the Masters to change their mind. And even then, some of them still feared."
"Fear is the path to the Dark side,"
"It is. But in this time, the Dark side was relatively unknown. The Masters did not know it, and the Jedi expected them to have the answers. Deep inside, they may have been afraid to let down those who looked up to them. And Eru was a symbol, a symbol of the unknown. But in the end, he was allowed to train. But everyone knew his story, and so the Jedi looked upon him strangely. He was acutely aware that there was 'them' and 'him', that he was different. Only Aru didn't see him as different."
"Why?"
"She was too young in the beginning. And since they had travelled to the Jedi Temple together, she had formed a bond with him. And since Eru felt the bond as well, he talked to her. At times, Aru felt closer to Eru than anyone else in the Temple. She felt a kinship with him that was frowned upon by the Jedi,"
"She loved him?" and with this question came the look of disgust young boys show towards romance.
"Yes, but not like your mother loves your father, or your aunt your uncle. Like your cousins love each other. She felt he was her brother, and that they were close. The problem with that was some Jedi thought she was as strange as Eru. She felt fear, at times, that she would never become a Jedi because of her closeness to Eru. But whenever she felt that, she knew she wouldn't change anything, because she cared for Eru more than being a Jedi. Lucky for her, there was one Jedi out there who was willing to take her on as a learner. And so Aru began to learn to be a Jedi. But soon after she was taken as a learner, a war broke out."
"Like the Rebellion?"
"Yes, but different because not all wars are the same. And Aru found herself caught between Eru and the Jedi. Except, she wasn't. Aru found herself concerned about the fact that she was not caught between Eru and the Jedi. She knew that she would choose Eru, always and forever. But she also knew that Jedi were not suppose to think like that."
"These Jedi sound strange,"
"It was a different time. Now, Eru fell in love and married someone, which was something Jedi were not allowed to do,"
"Really?"
"Really. And Aru knew. Aru kept the secret, because he was Eru,"
"And she wasn't upset?"
"Aru was at times exasperated, trying to prevent Eru from doing something stupid and thus letting the Masters know, but she could not be upset when he was so happy. She came to care for his wife as well as time moved on. She became trusted by the wife, and was among the first to learn she was expecting. Eru's wife had contacted Aru, because Aru had discovered she had an ability to heal. Eru's wife could not let anyone else know she was expecting, but wanted someone who would be able to make sure everything was going as planned,"
"She couldn't go to a med center?"
"There were so many emotions and lies involved that it was just easier on everyone for Aru to act as a healer. Perhaps this is what lead to the darkness of Eru's future. Perhaps not. Aru knew when even Eru didn't know that his wife was pregnant. And then came the End."
"The End?"
"The end of the war, the end of an era. It was the end of something, and the beginning of something else. And Eru was in the middle of it. He was faced with a choice, to follow the Jedi or not. And Aru knew that Eru had to make that choice. And Aru knew what choice he would make even before Eru did, because she knew him so well. And Aru knew what her decision would be as well."
"What?"
"Aru made the same decision she had made every time she had come to it in the years earlier. Eru over the Jedi. She knew that the Jedi did not inspire Eru with confidence, and he was faced with a challenge that he couldn't afford to make a mistake with. And Aru knew what he would chose, and so she did what she had to. She would take away the decisions that would break him."
"What does that mean?"
"Aru was an average Jedi, good at healing because of the war. But she could see, sometimes, what decisions people would make, or the most likely way they would tip. And she saw the most likely outcome. And she knew that there would be hard choices to be made, and Eru would be emotionally vulnerable and when he was no longer emotionally vulnerable, he would break when he learned which choices he made. So Aru decided that she would take those decisions away from him. Make it so that he could not make those decisions, and thus not break."
"It sounds like Eru fell,"
"He did. He came back to the Jedi Temple on the orders of his new Master, to kill them all. And he came to Aru in the Council Chamber. She was seated in a chair, lightsaber in front of her on the floor. He came in, looking around for the young children were suppose to come to there if something went wrong. Eru looked at Aru, and waited."
"For what?"
"For her decision. Eru did not know what Aru would decide. Eru was not sure of anything at the moment except he needed to protect his family. And Aru took her lightsaber and stood up, and handed it to Eru. She told Eru that she would always chose him over anything, and that she would take the decisions that would break him away. Eru laughed,"
"He laughed?"
"Eru wasn't thinking straight. Not then. He thought there was no hard decisions now that he had made his. Aru shook her head, and said that there were some things Eru's wife would not understand, or that on some days he would regret. And those choices, she would take away. Eru was silent, then said that the younglings were gone. Aru nodded, saying that she took all the younglings who had no choice and gave them a choice."
"What kind of a choice?"
"What to do with their life. She had sent the younglings away, destroyed the information on them. She allowed them to grow up, and then decide what they wanted to do. She felt they were too young to make the choice yet, and knew that Eru would not think to give it to them. In fact, Eru would be expected to not give it to them. Eru nodded at this, not knowing at the time what it would mean for him but knowing that Aru was doing what she thought was best for him. He told her he had something else to do, and to take care of his family. She promised him she would, and turned and walked out of the temple. She ignored the battles being fought, the dead Jedi. She walked past, ignoring the cries of betrayal that she heard."
"How could she?"
"Walk past everyone? She could because she had made her decision. And she would not betray Eru. She had never been a Jedi. She had always been Aru. She hated herself for the fact that she did what she did, but knew she would never have made a different choice. She went to his wife, and helped her deliver her child. And Aru knew she would never be able to wash the stain off her soul, and gave up the Force."
"And then what?"
"That's the end."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"But didn't she protect the family? Wasn't she with Eru?"
"She disappeared. The family was split."
"This is a horrible story,"
"It's a story about mistakes. Everyone makes them. You have to learn to live with the ones you make,"
"Did she?"
"Did she what?"
"Learn to live with her mistakes?"
"No. She instead dedicated what was left of her life to protecting Eru's family,"
"But you just said she disappeared,"
"True."
"This story is confusing," Ben Skywalker complained. His minder, who had been watching over the kids in his family since his cousins were eight, smiled.
"Life is confusing. You asked for a different story."
"I expected one with an actual ending. What happened to the Jedi? The family? Eru?"
"The Jedi suffered, but returned. The family was split, but was reunited. Eru, Eru turned from the darkness. It took him a long time, but he managed."
"What about her?"
"She doesn't have an ending."
"Why not?"
"Sometimes there just isn't one,"
"What was the point?"
"Sometimes, we do things we regret when those we care for are in trouble. Sometimes, we care too much. Sometimes, when we do not know what to do, we do the wrong thing. Sometimes, the Force is hard to understand. Sometimes, we make a mistake and spend the rest of our lives attempting to make up for it."
"Next time, I'm going to ask for a happy story," Ben Skywalker said, glaring at his minder before going to sleep. She just smiled, turning off the lights. She waited until she heard his even breathing before dropping the smile.
"Aru wasn't able to save the wife, and the twins were separated against her wishes. She had abandoned the Jedi, and so the Jedi did not listen to her. She was left alone, and soon captured. Because Eru had said she was not to be harmed, but his Master had orders for all those who had been Jedi to be killed, she was frozen in carbonite for many years. And when she awoke, everything had changed. And the only thing she could do was protect Eru's remaining family. Because she was ashamed of her past, she never mentioned it. She only ever used the Force to protect the family. There is no end because the story was artificially lengthened, and ending it there and having an actual ending would lead to Aru having failed. And she already has so little to be proud of, that she would rather disappear, and have things unknown than remember she had failed."
Kyle Advar, born Kylian Naberrie some years earlier, closed her eyes as she tried to prevent tears from running down her face.
She had failed her sister, her brother. She had failed them, and all she could do now was attempt to make amends. Even if she felt as if she could never make up for her mistakes. She was a coward, and knew she would take everything to her grave. After all, like Ben said, it was a horrible story.
Why bother sharing it again?