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Bella's hand searched the soapy water, looking for any unwashed dished that might have been hidden beneath the suds. Finding none, she took out the stopper and pulled off the long, yellow gloves she was wearing. She laid them on the counter and turned to observe the kitchen. Everything was spotless, like usual. She could almost see the finished wood of the table sparkle in what little light that managed to peek out from the clouds. Sparkle… Bella shook her head to try to keep from thinking about him again.

Sighing, Bella walked into the living room and glanced quickly at the TV and immediately decided that she wouldn't touch it. The shows and soap operas brought them back to life. They reminded her of her aloneness so she had avoided them like the plague. As if on autopilot, she reached for the front door and grasped the handle. What are you doing, Swan? Jacob doesn't want to see you anymore. He would answer or call you back when you phoned. He left you alone, too… Bella could feel the tears threatening to push out from her eyes and her mind went blank.

When Bella became aware again, she noticed that she had Charlie's dinner prepared, the laundry was folded in a basket by her hips and even though she didn't see it, she knew her homework was done. She hated and loved these blackouts. She didn't feel the pain of loss when she was numb and unaware. Unfortunately, they never lasted long enough to satisfy her. Always the memories would come flooding back and the pieces of her heart would shatter again. She wondered how a person could live with a heart in such a state.

You can't do this anymore… You don't want to have to do this anymore. Just get rid of the pain. No one will care if you're gone. Bella always had the same argument with herself, day after day. One part of her argued that killing herself would be beneficial to everyone. Charlie wouldn't have to worry about her or put on the farce around her anymore. The other, the smaller voice inside her, argued that Renee and Charlie would be devastated if they even knew what she was contemplating. It was incredibly difficult to let this voice have her side of the argument, but she always won the battle again and again.

Bella grabbed the basket at her hip and took it with her up the stairs. She took the neatly folded clothes in their respective drawers and sat on the bed. Why do you even do this, Swan? What's the point? She made herself speechless. What was the point of this? Why did she have to go through the daily routines over and over? Because they need to be done… No, that wasn't it. You need this security… Again, that was a terribly pathetic excuse. Because if it's done it means you're still alive… This one definitely hit close to home. She contemplated this thought some more. She looked to the closed drawers of her dresser and a thought popped into her head. She smiled, an extremely sarcastic smile, but a smile nonetheless.

***

Charlie walked into the door and smelt the roast that Bella had left in the oven to keep it warm for their dinner. He sighed inwardly. His daughter had been through hell and back the past six months. That stupid Cullen had left her alone in the wood after he told her that he and his family were leaving. She hadn't been the same since. The way she looked in Sam's arms that night, violently shaking from the cold and damp inside and out, he would never forget that. He nearly had a heart attack that night.

Thunk.

Charlie jerked his head up. That had come from Bella's room. He raced up the stairs and threw her door open. The sight that greeted him took his breath away. His little girl was sitting amongst all her clothes, scattered all over the floor. The sight that brought tears to his eyes was the smile on her face. It was the first genuine smile he had seen since that night…

"Bella, what happened?" He asked, fighting back tears and laughter at the same time. She looked up at him and just laughed. For a second, the idea that she had finally had a mental breakdown fluttered through his mind, but as soon as he saw the first sob coming on, he knew she was finally coming back to life. He picked her up from the floor and sat on her bed with his daughter in his lap. He stroked Bella's hair and spoke soothing nonsense as she let it all out. At that moment he knew if he ever seen Edward Cullen again in his life, he would grab his shotgun with no second thoughts.

***