Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Warning: Angst-y. It may get bad, it may not; who knows. This is your warning.
Rating: M for language (and more M rated things to come...)
Takes place after The Outsider when Archie is found, and is very much alive. Belle does not get shot, Greg Mendel does not come to Storybrooke. I don't know how often I'll update but I have a good feeling about this story kids.
Chapter One
When your dreams all fail
And the ones we hail
Are the worst of all
And the blood's run stale
I want to hide the truth
I want to shelter you
But with the beast inside
There's nowhere we can hide
Demons by Imagine Dragons
They had looked everywhere for Regina after finding out that Archie was indeed very much alive. Henry was huddled in the backseat almost asleep as the blonde drove along the winding roads of the forest. She made her way back to the loft to drop the boy off. It was dark, wet and cold out. She knew Regina would have her hide if she were to know Henry was out this late, even if it was because he was sorry and wanted nothing more than to apologize.
The blonde felt as if she couldn't breathe. She had to find Regina - before Cora did.
Please let me find her.
Worried green eyes glanced in the rear view mirror again, catching Henry's nod into sleep. The action caused the blonde to smile just a bit.
When Archie had walked through the door to Mary Margaret's apartment, Emma's heart had dropped into her stomach; she had known Regina didn't do it. Why had she let her parent's view of the former Mayor taint her own thoughts of the woman?
She had never hated the woman, so why had she talked to her the way she had when they had confronted her? She fucking trusted the memories of a dog for fuck's sake.
The betrayed look in the brunette's eyes haunted Emma every waking minute since. She'd been so stupid.
Regina was going to kill her.
Please let me find her.
She gripped the steering wheel tighter as she clenched her jaw in annoyance at her own stupidity. If anyone in this forsaken town knew Regina at all it was Emma Swan. Regina had shown the blonde her weaknesses, even though Emma had to really look in order to catch them, but the fact remained, that Regina had shown them to her, when she doubted she'd ever shown them to anyone else.
Had she shown them willingly or not?
Those beautiful, chocolate brown eyes held more emotions that the blonde woman could even begin to fathom. Demons also hid in those eyes… they also frightened her to the point of running; but as hard as Emma tried, those eyes pulled her back in and wouldn't let her go. She had a desire to rid said eyes of those demons in order to protect the beautiful emotions from their tainted ways.
She shook her head to clear the thoughts of the brunette as she pulled the still sleeping boy into her arms and carried him into the loft. He slept like a log – a trait he'd picked up from Regina. She and the sperm donor never slept well – the traits of thieves.
What other traits did he get from the witchy woman? What had he picked up in the short ten years he'd had in this horrible world, which made him who he was, and was simply a byproduct of being Regina's son? Because he was – he was more hers than he was Emma's.
The blonde stumbled, almost dropping the sleeping boy, at that thought.
She had to find Regina, not for herself, but for their son - for Regina's son. She was no savior if she couldn't even save a woman for the only person she'd truly loved.
She would find her. Even if it meant Regina killing her. She smiled at the thought.
Please let me find her.
It was rounding on midnight and still the blonde could not find Regina for the life of her. The Mercedes was in the garage at the mansion. She'd broken in.
Regina was going to kill her anyway.
"Where the fuck are you Regina?" Emma asked aloud, frustrated and scared.
She rubbed at her eyes. She hadn't slept for almost two days. She was never a good sleeper.
Emma let her head fall back onto the headrest of the bug – she was so tired.
Henry had told her to try the cemetery as he had lain him down onto the couch. He had grabbed her arm, catching her attention.
"Try the cemetery ma," He whispered, sleep's serene tendrils pulling him back, "she would always go to the cemetery to visit Grandpa Mills when she was really sad."
Of course!
"Sorry I forgo-" He was asleep again, a light snore coming from his lips.
She saw a light coming from the Mills Mausoleum as she neared it. It was faint, but it was there.
She felt the lightheadedness from lack of breath fade slightly, but only just.
She pushed the sarcophagus to the side – memories assaulted her senses. Graham, Regina punching her, her punching Regina…
Regina was going to kill her this time. Not just a punch, but death – she didn't not deserve it.
She descended the stairs.
"Regina?" Emma called out softly as she illuminated the space with her flashlight. "Please Regina I know you're down here…"
She waited for a good ten minutes in absolute silence, she noticed that the light had gone out but in her rush to find the woman, she hadn't paid attention to where it was actually coming from.
She sat down on the steps and sighed, exhaustion taking over her muscles. She was so tired.
"I wish you would show yourself," Emma spoke aloud to no one, but she knew the brunette could hear her. "I came down here to apologize, and damn it I just want you to fucking listen for once."
Nothing but silence - Emma chuckled sadly, "I guess if you won't show yourself you can't really retort now can you."
"I knew you didn't do it when I saw your face after I told you that Archie was dead," a sigh, "But because I'm a fucking idiot I chose to trust a dog's memories over someone that I genuinely respect. I know that may sound really fucking stupid –"
Emma shook her head.
"You know considering the fact that I basically kidnapped Henry…" She looked to the ceiling for help. "God I am so fucking stupid!"
A tear fell down a pale cheek. "I'm sorry Regina. You were trying and we, my family and I," the word was spat with venom, "fucked you over again."
More silence as thoughts raced through the blonde's mind, "What happened to you to make you so sad? I'm sorry whatever it was. I wish you knew you could trust me. Fuck, I wish I could be trustworthy!"
Emma was sobbing now, bearing her heart for a woman who wouldn't show her face. She was a damn wreck.
"Quit being such a fucking coward Regina," Emma yelled at the walls around her, "Show your fucking face!"
And finally, Regina emerged from the wall. Just like that. Emma leaned back causing the stone step to dig into her back – she was still trying to get used to this whole magic thing.
"Fuck you Emma Swan," Regina seethed, tears smearing her eye liner. "Fuck you and your self-righteous bullshit! Fuck your 'family', fuck your apology, fuck everything about you!"
Regina's normal calm façade was far gone by this point – she raised a hand and smacked the blonde hard across the face. "I hate you!"
Emma nodded, guilty eyes falling to the floor in shame. "You have every right to."
Regina was taken back at the admission. She sobbed, and leaned against the wall for support. "I hate you…"
Emma sobbed right along with her, nodding. "I'm s-so so-sorry."
Those hauntingly sad chocolate eyes met hers. Emma let the walls in her soul bear everything in that moment as she tried to reach the brunette, tried to be what the brunette needed. "I was tr-trying Em. And," sob, "no one ever c-cares enough to just l-let me try."
Emma made her way over to the brunette and pulled the woman into her arms. Regina's tears fell faster and harder, lithe shoulders shook in fear and pain as she struggled to pull away from the blonde, "I care Regina, please keep trying - for Henry, for me."
Regina broke with a soul shattering sob in that moment and sank to her knees; the sheriff's arms never broke their protective circle around her shaking body and she sank with her.
She would sink to the bottoms of the ocean for Henry, and Henry needed this woman, and therefore Emma would sink with her.
She tightened her grasp around the surprisingly small woman, whose presence made her seem larger than life, in order to portray though her touch that she was here and she was going to try and be that person to give Regina a chance; even if it killed her.
Cold, soulless, evil eyes watched the two women from a dark corner in the mausoleum. A smile played upon the thin lips of the dark figure, this was going to be good.