If you really want to hear this story, the first thing you might want to know is where I was born, what my childhood was like and all that David Copperfield shit. None of that is goddamn important right now. I'm only here to tell you about all the crazy shit that happened to me last Thanksgiving. Sure I wish that I could make up a wonderful story about me being successful and all but no; that's not me that's my brother, Iggy. Iggy was the favored child of the two of us. Don't get me wrong, he was nice and all but it gets goddamn annoying being second rate to your parents for so long. I basically stopped trying to get up to Iggy's level a while ago.
I guess I should start off with when I first left United Prep Academy. United Prep is just outside of New York City. I believe it only takes about 45 minutes to get there by train. I bet that you've seen advertisements about this school. I wouldn't doubt it. This whole school is full of bastards and phonies. Even their advertisements are phony. If you've ever seen the pamphlets it shows people of all races and ethnicities being all happy-go-lucky on the front. It's complete bullshit. The only people I've seen here are pale, white Americans. Like I said, total bull crap.
But as I rambled on it seems I forgot to give you my name. It's Jones. Alfred F. Jones.