Yo! My first story submission!
:)
And no, this wasn't drug induced..
Or was it?
IT COULD BE WHITE CLAUDIA!
*turns into a large bleeding mess*
------------
SILENT THRILL KILL BILL HILL DILL PICKLE PILL
By Grub
Harry Mason, writer of horror stories, wakes up in the cafe after being
"killed" by strange demon creatures.
He looks around for a moment, then sees a woman..
WEARING NOTHING BUT A BRA WALKING UP TO HIM.
Suddenly, she starts doing the polka and yodeling.
"Oh dear God, NO!!" Screams Harry in horrible anguish. He finds the kitchen
knife on the table and stabs the woman repeatadely.
Her last words are.. "Rosebud.. I mean, ROCK DAH CASBAH!!"
Woman who Dances the Polka and Yodels is now dead.
Suddenly, he hears the radio on yet ANOTHER table start to
pick up white noise.
"Huh. Radio. What's going on with that radio?"
He walks up to it. The radio sprouts legs, pulls out a cigar, lights it, smokes it and
proclaims, "I made love to your wife's cadaver, ya frickin' moron!"
Harry continues to say amazingly complicated words like "Huh." and "Hmph."
The radio continues to insult Harry the Amazingly Moronic Moron.
"Last night I saw your daughter Cheryl."
Harry perks up and says, "Where?"
"At the local XXX bar! BING! ZING!"
"You saw my little girl?"
"Shut up, ya retard. I didn't really see her."
"That's amazing! What's the name of the place?"
The radio looks confused. He then speaks up and says,
"Little Red Riding Hood."
"Excellent! Thank you radio!"
"Whatever.. Ya shmuck.."
Harry walks out of Silent Hill and looks up "Little Red Riding Hood".
Hey, it's in San Francisco!
After not too long, he arrives in San Francisco and enters
"Little Red Riding Hood". Unfortunetly for Harry,
the neon sign is somewhat burned out. It really should read,
"Little Red Riding His Manhood".
Oops.
30 minutes later, Harry comes out in a Village People outfit.
"How much fun was that? Fantastic! No Cheryl, though."
Sirens begin to blare.. THE STREET TURNS INTO JELLO AND CANDY RAINS FROM THE HEAVENS!
Harry screams in anguish once more. "OH MY GOD, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Harry pulls out his knife and begins to slash away at the suicide candy.
However, he is no match for the kamikaze candy and he loses consciousness.
It was just too much! No, not that stupid Stephen King based movie.
Meanwhile, the Knights who Previously Said "Ni!" are writhing in agony.
IT!! IT !!!!
-----------------------------------
Harry wakes up and sees Dahlia doing the Tango with James Sunderland and Frankie Munez.
Frankie speaks up and says, "Whoa! Wrong picture!"
He rushes into a wall hoping he would escape this hopeless story.
He actually runs straight through it.
Thought he would run into it, eh?
Too bad for him outside the wall was an enormous chasm.
Poor Frankie Munez dies. But not from evil gravity, but from..........
Aww Hell, does it matter? Munez died and that's all YOU need to know.
No really, if I told you, Richard Simmons might come over to your house
and.. Well, if I told you that, I might have to tell you what
Richard Simmons might do. And if I did that, let me just say
things would get really Harry.. Harry Mason that is!
BING! ZING! POW!
After treking many miles, a large asteroid comes down from the sky and crushes Harry.
The end..
OR is it?
If I told you, I might have to...
THE END
I told you, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO---------
T H E E N D
SHUT UP, YA FREAKIN' END SIGN! IT'S NOT----------
THE END?
NO IT ISN'T!
THE END!
Well, you win.
:)
And no, this wasn't drug induced..
Or was it?
IT COULD BE WHITE CLAUDIA!
*turns into a large bleeding mess*
------------
SILENT THRILL KILL BILL HILL DILL PICKLE PILL
By Grub
Harry Mason, writer of horror stories, wakes up in the cafe after being
"killed" by strange demon creatures.
He looks around for a moment, then sees a woman..
WEARING NOTHING BUT A BRA WALKING UP TO HIM.
Suddenly, she starts doing the polka and yodeling.
"Oh dear God, NO!!" Screams Harry in horrible anguish. He finds the kitchen
knife on the table and stabs the woman repeatadely.
Her last words are.. "Rosebud.. I mean, ROCK DAH CASBAH!!"
Woman who Dances the Polka and Yodels is now dead.
Suddenly, he hears the radio on yet ANOTHER table start to
pick up white noise.
"Huh. Radio. What's going on with that radio?"
He walks up to it. The radio sprouts legs, pulls out a cigar, lights it, smokes it and
proclaims, "I made love to your wife's cadaver, ya frickin' moron!"
Harry continues to say amazingly complicated words like "Huh." and "Hmph."
The radio continues to insult Harry the Amazingly Moronic Moron.
"Last night I saw your daughter Cheryl."
Harry perks up and says, "Where?"
"At the local XXX bar! BING! ZING!"
"You saw my little girl?"
"Shut up, ya retard. I didn't really see her."
"That's amazing! What's the name of the place?"
The radio looks confused. He then speaks up and says,
"Little Red Riding Hood."
"Excellent! Thank you radio!"
"Whatever.. Ya shmuck.."
Harry walks out of Silent Hill and looks up "Little Red Riding Hood".
Hey, it's in San Francisco!
After not too long, he arrives in San Francisco and enters
"Little Red Riding Hood". Unfortunetly for Harry,
the neon sign is somewhat burned out. It really should read,
"Little Red Riding His Manhood".
Oops.
30 minutes later, Harry comes out in a Village People outfit.
"How much fun was that? Fantastic! No Cheryl, though."
Sirens begin to blare.. THE STREET TURNS INTO JELLO AND CANDY RAINS FROM THE HEAVENS!
Harry screams in anguish once more. "OH MY GOD, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Harry pulls out his knife and begins to slash away at the suicide candy.
However, he is no match for the kamikaze candy and he loses consciousness.
It was just too much! No, not that stupid Stephen King based movie.
Meanwhile, the Knights who Previously Said "Ni!" are writhing in agony.
IT!! IT !!!!
-----------------------------------
Harry wakes up and sees Dahlia doing the Tango with James Sunderland and Frankie Munez.
Frankie speaks up and says, "Whoa! Wrong picture!"
He rushes into a wall hoping he would escape this hopeless story.
He actually runs straight through it.
Thought he would run into it, eh?
Too bad for him outside the wall was an enormous chasm.
Poor Frankie Munez dies. But not from evil gravity, but from..........
Aww Hell, does it matter? Munez died and that's all YOU need to know.
No really, if I told you, Richard Simmons might come over to your house
and.. Well, if I told you that, I might have to tell you what
Richard Simmons might do. And if I did that, let me just say
things would get really Harry.. Harry Mason that is!
BING! ZING! POW!
After treking many miles, a large asteroid comes down from the sky and crushes Harry.
The end..
OR is it?
If I told you, I might have to...
THE END
I told you, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO---------
T H E E N D
SHUT UP, YA FREAKIN' END SIGN! IT'S NOT----------
THE END?
NO IT ISN'T!
THE END!
Well, you win.