Title: All is lost, or is it? (Part 1)
Pairing: Sawyer/Juliet
Rating: K/K+ (PG/PG 13)
Warning: spoilers for The Incident
Summary: Sequel to the season finale, not AU until January 2010 (lol)
Disclaimer: I don't own Lost … sadly
A/N: Because I could absolutely not study anymore without getting this out of my head.

This is supposed to be the first part of a chaptered fic (unless everyone chases me away with pitchforks), I just don't know when I'll be able to write the next chapter, it's in the back of my head though.

***

She desperately hit the device over and over again with all the strength she could muster in her body that was riddled with pain.

Hot tears were now streaming down her face, slowing washing the blood off her cheeks, the damn nuke had not detonated and she had survived a lethal fall.

The irony of the situation tasted bitter in her mouth. For 6 years she had been trying to get off the island, and each time an opportunity had presented itself, something had gone haywire or she had turned her back to it. First it had been Locke, destroying the submarine, then the freighter, blowing up just before her very eyes, then he had asked her to stay, and she had, and finally, she had decided that she couldn't leave everyone else here to die. She had to stop Jack.

This island had robbed her of everything.

It had taken her away from her home and everyone she had ever loved and cared for. It had given her a mission, save the pregnant women on the island -an impossible task to accomplish.

It had given her Goodwin, only to break her heart with his death.

It had given her James. And with him she had experienced a degree of happiness she had not felt since her parents had divorced all those years ago. Yet, she had been torn apart from him as well.

The island had given her hope, a new beginning, a fresh start, after dangling it in the air in front of her for a while, like a carrot for a donkey, it had pulled it far from her reach.

She could have been halfway to Ann Abor right now, making plans with James about how they were going to grow old together and how they were going to spend the millions they would collect after they invested in Microsoft.

Instead she was lying here in a ditch, so far away but at the same time so very close to him. At least she was sure now, he loved her. He loved her so much that he would have went down with her, had she not let him go.

She should have been honest with him and told him the truth. It would have made things easier, or maybe it wouldn't have, but, deep down, she knew he had deserved to know, and she was heartbroken that she would never be able to tell him.

As soon as she had noticed her period was late, she immediately knew it was because she was pregnant. The minute she was sure, she wanted to run to James and tell him, that was the moment Jack chose to turn up and tell her Kate done something to compromise their cover, after that everything went haywire -Phil, packing to find refuge at the beach, getting caught by Radinsky, being put on the sub.

In the sub, she had decided she would tell him once they surfaced in the 'real world', and then Kate had came climbing down that ladder … bringing with her the knowledge that that perfect moment she was waiting for would never come.

Rose and Bernard, as odd as it had seemed, appeared to know. Why had she not taken him up on his offer of a cup of tea? It would have saved her from all this misfortune.

Now, she was here, alone, and he was up there. She had heard him desperately cry her name out as her hand had slipped from his. Her screaming had not been loud enough to cover the sound of his sobs. How could she have ever doubted his love for her?

"Come on … You, son of a bitch! Come on!" she cried, as she relentlessly hit the bomb once more.

And there it was, that flash of blinding white light, the excruciating pain searing through her skull -a pain so foreign and so familiar at the same time. It suddenly seemed like it was only yesterday they had been flashing back and forth in time.

And as quickly as it had started, it was over.

Everything around her, was pitch black. She couldn't even see the light from the opening where she had fallen. Where the hell was she?

Then it hit her. She wasn't underground anymore, she was outside, lying on the hard ground at the bottom of the pitch that had, once upon a time, been the Swan Station. When was she? And where was everyone else?

Questions blurred her mind as she drifted out of consciousness.

Sawyer's distress was temporarily tamed by the white flash which took over their surroundings. As it had many times before, the blinding light disappeared as quick as it had appeared, leaving him, Kate and Jack alone in the dark night.

"What the hell?" Miles voice echoed throughout the jungle as he came running towards them. "Did we just time travel again?"

"Still not Los Angeles," Sawyer said bitterly, before leaping towards the place where the hatch had once been, the place where Jack had just dropped a hydrogen bomb, or had dropped ages ago, or had yet to drop, he wasn't exactly sure when he was, and called out "Juliet."

But she was nowhere to be seen.

"Where is Juliet?" Miles asked out of Sawyer's earshot.

"She fell down the ..." Jack trailed off nodding towards the location where the hole had been. Miles' face dropped.

Sawyer came storming back, "She's not there. Where the hell is she? We time travelled, she must have time travelled with us too."

"Char-" began Miles, his voice was a little shacky.

"Don't you even dare," Sawyer warned before turning towards Jack angrily, "The only reason she agreed to do this was because you said it would change the past, undo the plane crash. Take away all the misery everyone went through. Well I have news for you, Doc, it didn't work. Once again your genius plan failed, and screwed peoples' lives up, got people killed."

"I had to. We didn't belong in 1977," Jack said simply.

"Didn't belong? Didn't belong?" Sawyer repeated incredulously. "Life is not an episode of Quantum Leap, and you're no Sam Beckett. Who are you to say we didn't belong in Dharmaville?" He violently grabbed Jack by the collar of his jumpsuit and shoved him against the nearest tree.

"James," Kate said firmly. "She wouldn't want you to do that."

Sawyer let go of Jack, "Don't you call me James. There ain't no more James. And how would you know what she would've wanted? You and her you weren't even friends." He took a deep breath before continuing, "You should never have came back, we were all happy in Dharmaville, living our lives, living good lives, and you lot had to go and show up and ruin everything."

His voice was starting to crack a little and Kate reached forward to put a comforting hand on his shoulder, he shrugged her off instantly, "You just don't get it do you? You took the best damn thing that ever happened to me away from me. If you hadn't turned up in the sub, we would have been halfway to the real world by now."

He turned on his heels and wandered away.

Kate was about to follow him when someone held him back, "No," Jin said shaking his head. Jin knew what it was like to lose someone you loved, even though Sun was still alive to his knowledge, he had not seen her or held her in over three years, and every single time he thought about her, and the baby who must be a child by now, his heart broke a little more.

He also knew how much Sawyer had loved Juliet. He had witnessed it all happening, the pair getting closer as each day went by, had he been more fluent in English at the time, he would have certainly teased Sawyer over it. His friend's transformation over the course of their stay in the seventies had been remarkable. He went from being a rogue to a decent fellow with a good heart, and all that thanks to Juliet.

Kate merely gave him a puzzled look.

"You guys have no idea how happy they were together," Miles stated.

TBC?