The Little Things
By walutahanga
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. I'd like to own Beta George, but I'm pretty sure Spike or Beck would come after me.
Warnings: Some spoilers for the ongoing IDW comic series After the Fall, Aftermath, Immortality for Dummies, Connorland, and one massive one for The Crown Prince Syndrome.
Angel doesn't get a lot of touch these days. Not that he ever got an excess of it, what with the curse and all, but it's not the sex he misses. It's the little things. The hugs Cordelia would give him for no reason at all. The way Lorne would straighten his collar for him. The times Fred would sneak her hand into his under the table and squeeze tight. All the little moments of physical connection that say 'you are not alone'.
The current team isn't big on affection. Kate is too self-sufficient, Laura too British, Gunn too broken, and Connor still teenager-pricklish about personal space. Illyria is still faintly mystified by touch with a purpose that isn't sex or violence, and James disliked casual contact, which may have been the only part of him that wasn't an act. Spike is more likely to express his feelings with a punch to the face than a hug, and George can't manage it at all, what with being a fish and not having any arms or legs. The floating library is not even worth considering.
Dez, however, is a feline and as apt to ignore personal boundaries as any of her kind. She will lean on the back of Angel's chair to read over his shoulder, or lounge bonelessly against his side while they're all watching a movie. She will steal his shirts because she can never remember where she left hers after a shift, and pretend to be startled and affronted if he complains, even though secretly he doesn't mind. She treats him like this because it's how she treats everyone. She makes it feel normal, like being part of a family again.
It's such a little thing, and Angel feels bad it's what he misses most when she's gone.
A/N: Dez was one of the more tragic characters of this arc. Introduced as 'the cool new character with awesome powers', she quickly earned the fandom's enmity and was given a quick, inglorious death via soul-eater. While I thought the writers had the right idea – there were way too many characters, and last to come is first to go – very little regard or attention was given to the death. Even the characters themselves seemed mystified as to whether they should mourn her. For a group of people who moped around for half a season every time one of them got bumped off, they got over Dez pretty quick. I wanted to address this ambivalence, and give Dez some real emotional significance.