Equivalent Exchange

prologue

I wake up with a gasp, another nightmare but more like a memory really. Just a replay of one of the many nights on the run. I turned and look at the clock next to my bed and I can see it's already time for me to get ready and see harry. While I get up I start remaining myself of the many things I have to get ready for later today. Today is finally the big day, the day for change and new opportunities.

We fought until we couldn't stand both physically and mentally. The most devastating war as of yet they described it in the daily prophet. Maybe the tittle would have been more dramatic if Rita would still be alive, but now she is just one more number in the count of those gone in the war.

So much was lost, the most devastating being the children. Innocents that barely gotten introduced to the wonders of magic, lay broken on the floor with terror carved in their small faces. Nobody would ever be the same, so many lives where corrupted. No longer was the wizarding world black and white it was all muddled into a dull grey. Countless souls where destroyed for the "greater good". Funny thing about wars is that there is never a winning side.

I could see it in Harrys eyes the constant question of was all of this worth it? The eyes of an abused boy have now turned into those of a broken man. I guess I was not much better myself; there is only so much sanity left in a person after being tortured for hours and defiled in every imaginable way. Got to give it to Bellatrix, she can have quite the imagination for a twisted sadistic bitch.

Maybe that's what pushed us into doing it, start acting as if we were gods with the power of changing things that should remain the same for fear of greater consequences.

See how much I repeat greater, maybe a greater person would have moved on looked for family or do the best with what they got, but harry and I are just human, and we have learned that even great wizards like Dumbledore make mistakes. Mistakes that can cause millions of lives to be lost for a pointless cause.

So we can go back and see the many tragedies that struck us, like Georges suicide Rons drinking and abusive behavior, Mrs. Weasleys vacant like face staring for hours at Freds missing face in the family clock or the knowledge of the many orphans left behind like Teddy that will never have the opportunity to meet their parents. And Harry and I transformed from a golden trio to a twisted duo. The reasons don't matter anymore it is already too late, we are already too far in to change our minds even if we wanted to.

So all it really took was a comment of how different things could have been if we only knew what we know now and if we just had more time to prepare.

Time. That was the key word. The moment harry let that sentence out he could already see the idea flashing thru my eyes. If time is what we need why don't we just create it ourselves? So we pushed ourselves into finding everything we needed from every corner of information we could get. How can we change fate and destiny make our own prophesy? We go back where it all began the many key points in history that could have changed the world. It took us months to finally find a dark like spell based on alchemy that could send us back to a better time, sacrifice had to be made though. The number one rule in alchemy is equivalent exchange. Essentially, nothing's completely free. Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost, however we had already sacrificed so much that giving up more to actually get something didn't sound like a bad deal.

The whole ceremony was a bit cryptic, we knew that we would travel back and be able to change the current time line, but in exchange for that a part of us would be gone and so would the current timeline; we would start new one, like a blank canvas. After deciphering the ancient rune codes that we found in the ritual we started preparing for our trip, creating a list of goals such as; people to save and personal sacrifices we each had to make. There wouldn't be a way back and we wouldn't be part of the lives of the people that we love in the present. It wasn't really a tough decision; I have sacrificed everything I hold dear since I met harry and his life has been practically a sacrifice.

By the time I had gotten to the library in grimmauld place harry was already waiting for me in one of the recliners. I could see he was lost in thought while looking at the fireplace. I just stood there for like seemed like ages staring at his profile, I loved harry more than anything, it wasn't a romantic kind of love we were both too broken to actually love in that way. But he was my reason to keep fighting, we both kept each other standing and we had never giving up on one another. Even Ron wasn't strong enough for that kind of loyalty. I blame it on my lack of other friends and Harrys unloved childhood, we were both misfits that found a safe place on the other.

"Hey" I said to harry. He just turned and stared back at me. I sat by his feet and put my purse down in between us. "I have everything ready and I brought something for you, well it's more like for both of us that just you".

I could feel his curios stare while I search for a small piece of paper in the bottom of my purse. "What is it?" he asked while I passed him the paper and he unfolded gently. "It's a drawing" I replied smiling gently. He just chuckled "I can see that but what is it for?"

"A tattoo" I grabbed his hand and flicked his messy hair out of his eyes. "it won't be destroyed when we travel back and it is something to remind us that we both will always be there for each other" I stared directly and his eyes and repeated what I had already said a thousand times before " I will be there with you no matter what" He just squeezed my hand and got up.

"well then are you the one that is going to tattoo it?" he said with a teasing smile. "not really we both are" I replied while putting the paper in front of me.

"The drawing was simple it was a small viking symbol called inguz, that means where there is a will, there is a way" I explained to harry while taking off my shirt to show him where to place it. When I turned to him he was already distracted by the scar on my chest and the many small ones around my arms and torso from bellatrixs torture. I could see the bleakness filling his eyes "stop, I'm here remember? You are here and we are going to change things"

And as if he needed a physical reminder he started tracing the word mudblood on my arm. "never again, I promise" he pushed himself away and took off his shirt. "where are we placing it?"

I stretched to my tiptoes and pointed "Right here" I told him while touching the middle point between his head and his body. "Do you want me to do it first?"

"Yes that way I know what to do when it's my turn" he answered easily. I grabbed my wand and started the incantation I could see that it stringed harry a bit by the way he tensed. "Done" I told him after only a minute of starting. I turned my back on him so he could start tracing the tattoo on me. "Don't forget to point and draw the symbol while you recite the incantation" I reminded him.

He gently pushed my hair away and smiled "Always the know it all mione" and started tracing the small symbol on my back. I could feel his magic pulsing and tracing mine softly and felt it retract once it was done. "So now that we are done with that. Should we start with the circle?".

"we better, no use delaying" I replied while lowering to get the rest of my materials for the ritual.

Harry started drawing and I got the potions and different ingredients to the table on the side of the room. "I'm finished, do you need help?" he asked while looking and the different bottles I had taken out.

"Yes we have to separate this into the three different points inside the transmutation circle" We did everything slowly and efficiently there was no point hurrying any small change could make everything go horrible wrong. We had both seen the tragedies that could occur to a wizard with failed transmutations, transformed into horrible creatures or worse. One of the main reasons why nobody used alchemy so much since they had a wand to focus their magic core, and nothing had to been given in exchange for it since most of the spells pulled the magic out of the environment. However there were still limits to it like those written in the five rules of Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfiguration. But there was no limit to alchemy as long as you were whiling to pay the price. We double checked everything and once we made sure everything was in order we took a place inside the circle facing each other.

With wand on hand we looked at each other one more time before starting. "no matter what" harry said solemnly. "It's a promise" I replied easily.

And so we started focusing our magic and intent to open the gate of truth. Lightning surrounded us and I felt shock waves running thru my blood stream as if I was convulsing from the inside out.

Humming noise started to surround us and kept escalating until it felt more like colliding boulders, a small circle began to appear in between us until I could make out what looked like an eye.

"Harry!" I screamed above all the noise and I could see him nodding at me, and with one more push in our magic everything fell black but us and the eye. IT blinked several times and finally focused intently on both of us. After several seconds it closed and from where it used to be a door started emerging from the bottom up.

It was enormous even bigger that any door that I have ever seen at Hogwarts and it was surrounded by chains with a red blood background. One by one the chains started falling until they were all gone ; and suddenly I could feel a very powerful dark aura all around us. I should probably be afraid but I wasn't there was no point of backing out with the deed already done and I also had harry and a promise to fulfill. If there is something I learned from being a Gryffindor is that we always confront our fear in order to be the true masters of death. I had seen it in the eyes of Neville when he killed naginni and then died of poisoning with a smile on his face, or Luna when she fell victim of greyback and fought back until the very end.

The gate started opening and from it millions of human like shadows started facing out. Gruesome smiles could be made out from their blankness like faces, from the middle of the door a white being stood out and in his face a rune that spells truth was carved. The being walked out and while the other shadows where trying to get to him they would just pass thru him. Once he was out he started facing harry and I.

"Magic folk it's been a while since someone has summoned me" His voice sounded deep like and echo in cave and several voices behind it.

"Are you the guardian of the gate?" harry asked, he seemed edgy but he did not lose focus on the white being.

The being started smiling and from his smile I could make out a row of pin like teeth. "Guardian you say? No not particularly. I am what you humans refer to as the world. Also as the "universe", or "true knowledge" or "all "or "one"; but most importantly "I'm you"" it replied cryptically. "But who I am is not really important but what I can do for you"

"you already know" I replied calmly. It turned to stare at me and right through me. "indeed I do" it replied "to change the present create a new future. You really don't do anything by half do you? Well it doesn't really matter"

"Can you do it?" Harry asked exasperated he was getting tired of the riddles and so was I.

This seemed to tick the white creature off "I can do anything if you can pay the price".

"We are willing sacrifices" I told him. He turned and smiled at me. "I have always had a softer spot for females. You see, woman is often portrayed as the evil, or even the devil in most cultures, but to me the female is seen to be necessity with a man. You push the limits to see changes. Sometimes good, sometimes not so much". He kept quiet for a while "my price won't be that big, I can see everything and all that you have lost in the past is just a small beginning of what you will have to go thru if you go back. Are you still willing to go thru that even knowing that you will confront your foes again?"

"If there is a chance of change we will take it" I replied again. Its smile grew and a crackle like laugh came out of his lips "then the deal is done. When you go back you will never come to be the people you once were. The people that used to know you will never get to love you. And your live will begin a new".

Wind came from every direction and started pushing us from one side to the other. Suddenly I could feel my whole body light on fire I turned to harry and tried to stretch my finger to grab a hold of him, but was interrupted by the being in between us. "I'm afraid that is not how this works. You see this trip is something you have to do on your own. But don't fret you will see each other again, after all you do have a common goal" I could hear his devil like laugh while my eyes started tearing up. I have never been away from harry. "No harry!" I screamed. "Hermione be brave. I will look for you no matter what, don't give up and remember what we have to do" he replied while trying not to breakdown.

"Time is up" the being replied "and an advice to you since you are the most fun I have had in ages. Not everything is born is evil and there is a chance of redemption if change has been made. But the road to hell really is paved with good intentions so don't stray from your path. Farewell now, and have a great trip" it replied maliciously. And so we started falling, when I tried to focus in harry he was already too far gone and I couldn't make out his body anymore. Flashes of light and colors where surrounding me and I could make out what sounded like voices. It was painful and felt like my body was being sucked thru a tunnel and finally I could make out a light but my body was to weak to move. I heard a voice calling me and I just hoped it could find me soon. And just like that it was all over. I closed my eyes and hoped for a better future one with Harry in it.

A/N: Hello my fellow readers, I appreciate that you have taken time to read my story. It's been a while since I wanted to publish a story of my own, I love reading different versions of time turner fiction in this site but after a while I had the itch to put my input of what could happen if things had been more bleak and pushed our favorite characters to snap and take action into their own hands. I apologize for all the grammar errors and probably the dozen or more run over sentences that I have committed along the way. English is my second language and this is the first story I had ever taken the time to write. So I hope you enjoy it as much as I have enjoyed writing it. I would love to hear your comments on what you liked about the fic so please leave me a review no matter how short it always makes my day.